What Makes a Family

by Debbie Macomber

  “What?”

  “It worked.”

  “What worked?” she asked irritably. Why was he speaking in riddles?

  “Nicole’s telling me that you’d been swept off your feet by this rich guy.”

  “Yes?” He still wasn’t making any sense.

  “The purpose of that whole fabrication was to make me jealous—and it worked.”

  “It worked?” An icy numb feeling swept through her. Swallowing became difficult.

  Tanner nodded. “I kept thinking about how much I liked you. How much I enjoyed talking to you. And then I decided that when this slumber party business was over, I was going to risk asking you out to dinner.”

  “But I’ve already told you I’m not interested in a romantic relationship. One marriage was more than enough for me.”

  “I don’t think that’s what bothered me.”

  “Then what did?”

  It was obvious from the way his eyes darted around the room that he felt uncomfortable. “I kept thinking about another man kissing you, and frankly, Joanna, that’s what bothered me most.”

  The kitchen suddenly went so quiet that Joanna was almost afraid to breathe. The only noise was the faint sound of the movie playing in the other room.

  Joanna tried to put herself in Tanner’s place, wondering how she’d feel if Kristen announced that he’d met a gorgeous blonde and was dating her. Instantly she felt her stomach muscles tighten. There wasn’t the slightest doubt in Joanna’s mind that the girls’ trick would have worked on her, too. Just the thought of Tanner’s kissing another woman produced a curious ache, a pain that couldn’t be described—or denied.

  “Kissing you that night was the worst thing I could have done,” Tanner conceded reluctantly. “I know you don’t want to talk about it. I don’t blame you—”

  “Tanner,” she interjected in a low hesitant voice, which hardly resembled her own. “It would have worked with me, too.”

  His eyes were dark and piercing. “Are you certain?”

  She nodded, feeling utterly defeated yet strangely excited. “I’m afraid so. What are we going to do now?”

  The silence returned as they stared at one another.

  “The first thing I think we should do is experiment a little,” he suggested in a flat emotionless voice. Then he released a long sigh. “Almost three weeks have passed since the night we took the girls out, and we’ve both had plenty of time to let that kiss build in our minds. Right?”

  “Right,” Joanna agreed. She’d attempted to put that kiss completely out of her mind, but it hadn’t worked, and there was no point in telling him otherwise.

  “It seems to me,” Tanner continued thoughtfully, “that we should kiss again, for the sake of research, and find out what we’re dealing with here.”

  She didn’t need him to kiss her again to know she was going to like it. The first time had been ample opportunity for her to recognize how strongly she was attracted to Tanner Lund, and she didn’t need another kiss to remind her.

  “Once we know, we can decide where to go from there. Agreed?”

  “Okay,” she said impulsively, ignoring the small voice that warned of danger.

  He stood up and held out his hand. She stared at it for a moment, uncertain. “You want to kiss right now?”

  “Do you know of a better time?”

  She shook her head. Good grief, she couldn’t believe she was doing this. Tanner stretched out his arms and she walked into them with all the finesse of tumbleweed. The way she fit so snugly, so comfortably into his embrace worried her already. And he hadn’t even kissed her yet.

  Tanner held her lightly, his eyes wide and curious as he stared down at her. First he cocked his head to the right, then abruptly changed his mind and moved it to the left.

  Joanna’s movements countered his until she was certain they looked like a pair of ostriches who couldn’t make up their minds.

  “Are you comfortable?” he asked, and his voice was slightly hoarse.

  Joanna nodded. She wished he’d hurry up and do it before one of the girls came crashing into the kitchen and found them. With their luck, it would be either Kristen or Nicole. Or both.

  “You ready?” he asked.

  Joanna nodded again. He was looking at her almost anxiously as though they were waiting for an imminent explosion. And that was exactly the way it felt when Tanner’s mouth settled on hers, even though the kiss was infinitely gentle, his lips sliding over hers like a soft summer rain, barely touching.

  They broke apart, momentarily stunned. Neither spoke, and then Tanner kissed her again, moving his mouth over her parted lips in undisguised hunger. His hand clutched the thick hair at her nape as she raised her arms and tightened them around his neck, leaning into him, absorbing his strength.

  Tanner groaned softly and deepened the kiss until it threatened to consume Joanna. She met his fierce urgency with her own, arching closer to him, holding onto him with everything that was in her.

  An unabating desire flared to life between them as he kissed her again and again, until they were both breathless and shaking.

  “Joanna,” he groaned, and dragged in several deep breaths. After taking a long moment to compose himself, he asked, “What do you think?” The question was murmured into her hair.

  Joanna’s chest was heaving, as though she’d been running and was desperate for oxygen. “I…I don’t know,” she lied, silently calling herself a coward.

  “I do.”

  “You do?”

  “Good Lord, Joanna, you taste like heaven. We’re in trouble here. Deep trouble.”

  CHAPTER NINE

  The pop music at the roller-skating rink blared from huge speakers and vibrated around the room. A disc jockey announced the tunes from a glass-fronted booth and joked with the skaters as they circled the polished hardwood floor.

  “I can’t believe I let you talk me into this,” Joanna muttered, sitting beside Tanner as she laced up her rented high-top white skates.

  “I refuse to be the only one over thirty out there,” he replied, but he was smiling, obviously pleased with his persuasive talents. No doubt he’d take equal pleasure in watching her fall flat on her face. It had been years since Joanna had worn a pair of roller skates. Years.

  “It’s like riding a bicycle,” Tanner assured her with that maddening grin of his. “Once you know how, you never forget.”

  Joanna grumbled under her breath, but she was actually beginning to look forward to this. She’d always loved roller-skating as a kid, and there was something about being with Tanner that brought out the little girl in her. And the woman, she thought, remembering their kiss.

  Nicole’s friends were already skating with an ease that made Joanna envious. Slowly, cautiously, she joined the crowd circling the rink.

  “Hi, Mom.” Kristen zoomed past at the speed of light.

  “Hi, Mrs. Parsons,” Nicole shouted, following her friend.

  Staying safely near the side, within easy reach of the handrail, Joanna concentrated on making her feet work properly, wheeling them back and forth as smoothly as possible. But instead of the gliding motion achieved by the others, her movements were short and jerky. She didn’t acknowledge the girls’ greetings with anything more than a raised hand and was slightly disconcerted to see the other skaters giving her a wide berth. They obviously recognized danger when they saw it.

  Tanner glided past her, whirled around and deftly skated backward, facing Joanna. She looked up and threw him a weak smile. She should have known Tanner would be as confident on skates as he seemed to be at everything else—except slumber parties for eleven-year-old girls. Looking at him, one would think he’d been skating every day for years, although he claimed it was twenty years since he’d been inside a rink. It was clear from the expert way he soared across the floor that he didn’t need to relearn anything—unlike Joanna, who felt as awkward as a newborn foal attempting to stand for the first time.

  “How’s it going?” he as
ked, with a cocky grin.

  “Great. Can’t you tell?” Just then, her right foot jerked out from under her and she groped desperately for the rail, managing to get a grip on it seconds before she went crashing to the floor.

  Tanner was by her side at once. “You okay?”

  “About as okay as anyone who has stood on the edge and looked into the deep abyss,” she muttered.

  “Come on, what you need is a strong hand to guide you.”

  Joanna snorted. “Forget it, fellow. I’ll be fine in a few minutes, once I get my sea legs.”

  “You’re sure?”

  “Tanner, for heaven’s sake, at least leave me with my pride intact!” Keeping anything intact at the moment was difficult, with her feet flaying wildly as she tried to pull herself back into an upright position.

  “Okay, if that’s what you want,” he said shrugging, and sailed away from her with annoying ease.

  Fifteen minutes later, Joanna felt steady enough to join the main part of the crowd circling the rink. Her movements looked a little less clumsy, a little less shaky, though she certainly wasn’t in complete control.

  “Hey, you’re doing great,” Tanner said, slowing down enough to skate beside her.

  “Thanks,” she said breathlessly, studying her feet in an effort to maintain her balance.

  “You’ve got a gift for this,” he teased.

  She looked up at him and laughed outright. “Isn’t that the truth! I wonder if I should consider a new career as a roller-skating waitress at the Pink Palace.”

  Amusement lifted the edge of his sensuous mouth. “Has anyone ever told you that you have an odd sense of humour?”

  Looking at Tanner distracted Joanna, and her feet floundered for an instant. “Kristen does at least once a day.”

  Tanner chuckled. “I shouldn’t laugh. Nicole tells me the same thing.”

  The disc jockey announced that the next song was for couples only. Joanna gave a sigh of relief and aimed her body toward the nearest exit. She could use the break; her calf muscles were already protesting the unaccustomed exercise. She didn’t need roller-skating to remind her she wasn’t a kid.

  “How about it, Joanna?” Tanner asked, skating around her.

  “How about what?”

  “Skating together for the couples’ dance. You and me and fifty thousand preteens sharing centre stage.” He offered her his hand. The lights had dimmed and a mirrored ball hanging in the middle of the ceiling cast speckled shadows over the floor.

  “No way, Tanner,” she muttered, ignoring his hand.

  “I thought not. Oh well, I’ll see if I can get Nicole to skate with her dear old dad.” Effortlessly he glided toward the group of girls who stood against the wall flirtatiously challenging the boys on the other side with their eyes.

  Once Joanna was safely off the rink, she found a place to sit and rest her weary bones. Within a couple of minutes, Tanner lowered himself into the chair beside her, looking chagrined.

  “I got beat out by Tommy Spenser,” he muttered.

  Joanna couldn’t help it—she was delighted. Now Tanner would understand how she’d felt when Kristen announced she didn’t want her mother sitting with her at the movies. Tanner looked just as dejected as Joanna had felt then.

  “It’s hell when they insist on growing up, isn’t it?” she said, doing her best not to smile, knowing he wouldn’t appreciate it.

  He heaved an expressive sigh and gave her a hopeful look before glancing out at the skating couples. “I don’t suppose you’d reconsider?”

  The floor was filled with kids, and Joanna knew the minute she moved onto the hardwood surface with Tanner, every eye in the place would be on them.

  He seemed to read her mind, because he added, “Come on, Joanna. My ego has just suffered a near-mortal wound. I’ve been rejected by my own flesh and blood.”

  She swallowed down a comment and awkwardly rose to her feet, struggling to remain upright. “When my ego got shot to bits at the movie theatre, all you did was share your popcorn with me.”

  He chuckled and reached for her hand. “Don’t complain. This gives me an excuse to put my arm around you again.” His right arm slipped around her waist, and she tucked her left hand in his as they moved side by side. She had to admit it felt incredibly good to be this close to him. Almost as good as it had felt being in his arms for those few moments in his kitchen.

  Tanner must have been thinking the same thing, because he was unusually quiet as he directed her smoothly across the floor to the strains of a romantic ballad. They’d circled the rink a couple of times when Tanner abruptly switched position, skating backward and holding onto her as though they were dancing.

  “Tanner,” she said, surprise widening her eyes as he swept her into his arms. “The girls will start thinking…things if we skate like this.”

  “Let them.”

  His hands locked at the base of her spine and he pulled her close. Very close. Joanna drew a slow breath, savouring the feel of Tanner’s body pressed so intimately against her own.

  “Joanna, listen,” he whispered. “I’ve been thinking.”

  So had she. Hard to do when she was around Tanner.

  “Would it really be such a terrible thing if we were to start seeing more of each other? On a casual basis—it doesn’t have to be anything serious. We’re both mature adults. Neither of us is going to allow the girls to manipulate us into anything we don’t want. And as far as the past is concerned, I’m not Davey and you’re not Carmen.”

  Why, Joanna wondered, was the most important discussion she’d had in years taking place in a roller-skating rink with a top-forty hit blaring in one ear and Tanner whispering in the other? Deciding to ignore the thought, she said, “But the girls might start making assumptions, and I’m afraid we’d only end up disappointing them.”

  Tanner disagreed. “I feel our seeing each other might help more than it would hinder.”

  “How do you mean?” Joanna couldn’t believe she was actually entertaining this suggestion. Entertaining was putting it mildly; her heart was doing somersaults at the prospect of seeing Tanner more often. She was thrilled, excited…and yet hesitant. The wounds Davey had inflicted went very deep.

  “If we see each other more often we could include the girls, and that should lay to rest some of the fears we’ve had over their matchmaking efforts. And spending time with you will help satisfy Nicole’s need for a strong mother figure. At the same time, I can help Kristen, by being a father figure.”

  “Yes, but—”

  “The four of us together will give the girls a sense of belonging to a whole family,” Tanner added confidently.

  His arguments sounded so reasonable, so logical. Still, Joanna remained uncertain. “But I’m afraid the girls will think we’re serious.”

  Tanner lifted his head enough to look into her eyes, and Joanna couldn’t remember a time they’d ever been bluer or more intense. “I am serious.”

  She pressed her forehead against his collarbone and willed her body to stop trembling. Their little kissing experiment had affected her far more than she dared let him know. Until tonight, they’d both tried to disguise or deny their attraction for each other, but the kiss had exposed everything.

  “I haven’t stopped thinking about you from the minute we first met,” he whispered, and touched his lips to her temple. “If we were anyplace else right now, I’d show you how crazy I am about you.”

  If they’d been anyplace else, Joanna would have let him. She wanted him to kiss her, needed him to, but she was more frightened by her reaction to this one man than she’d been by anything else in a very long while. “Tanner, I’m afraid.”

  “Joanna, so am I, but I can’t allow fear to rule my life.” Gently he brushed the loose wisps of curls from the side of her face. His eyes studied her intently. “I didn’t expect to feel this way again. I’ve guarded against letting this happen, but here we are, and Joanna, I don’t mind telling you, I wouldn’t change a thing.�
��

  Joanna closed her eyes and listened to the battle raging inside her head. She wanted so badly to give this feeling between them a chance to grow. But logic told her that if she agreed to his suggestion, she’d be making herself vulnerable again. Even worse, Tanner Lund wasn’t just any man—he was wealthy and successful, the half owner of an important company. And she was just a loan officer at a small local bank.

  “Joanna, at least tell me what you’re feeling.”

  “I…I don’t know,” she hedged, still uncertain.

  He gripped her hand and pressed it over his heart, holding it there. “Just feel what you do to me.”

  Her own heart seemed about to hammer its way out of her chest. “You do the same thing to me.”

  He smiled ever so gently. “I know.”

  The music came to an end and the lights brightened. Reluctantly Tanner and Joanna broke apart, but he still kept her close to his side, tucking his arm around her waist.

  “You haven’t answered me, Joanna. I’m not going to hurt you, you know. We’ll take it nice and easy at first and see how things develop.”

  Joanna’s throat felt constricted, and she couldn’t answer him one way or the other, although it was clear that he was waiting for her to make a decision.

  “We’ve got something good between us,” he continued, “and I don’t want to just throw it away. I think we should find out whether this can last.”

  He wouldn’t hurt her intentionally, Joanna realized, but the probability of her walking away unscathed from a relationship with this man was remote.

  “What do you think?” he pressed.

  She couldn’t refuse him. “Maybe we should give it a try,” she said after a long pause.

  Tanner gazed down on her, bathing her in the warmth of his smile. “Neither of us is going to be sorry.”

  Joanna wasn’t nearly as confident. She glanced away and happened to notice Kristen and Nicole. “Uh-oh,” she murmured.

  “What’s wrong?”

  “I just saw Kristen zoom over to Nicole and whisper into her ear. Then they hugged each other like long-lost sisters.”