What Makes a Family

by Debbie Macomber

  “I can deal with it if you can,” he said, squeezing her hand.

  Tanner’s certainty lent her courage. “Then so can I.”

  CHAPTER TEN

  Joanna didn’t sleep well that night, or the following two. Tanner had suggested they meet for dinner the next weekend. It seemed an eternity, but there were several problems at work that demanded his attention. She felt as disappointed as he sounded that their first real date wouldn’t take place for a week.

  Joanna wished he hadn’t given her so much time to think about it. If they’d been able to casually go to a movie the afternoon following the slumber party, she wouldn’t have been so nervous about it.

  When she arrived at work Monday morning, her brain was so muddled she felt as though she were walking in a fog. Twice during the weekend she’d almost called Tanner to suggest they call the whole thing off.

  “Morning,” her boss murmured absently, hardly looking up from the newspaper. “How was your weekend?”

  “Exciting,” Joanna told Robin, tucking her purse into the bottom drawer of her desk. “I went roller-skating with fifteen eleven-year-old girls.”

  “Sounds adventurous,” Robin said, his gaze never leaving the paper.

  Joanna poured herself a cup of coffee and carried it to her desk to drink black. The way she was feeling, she knew she’d need something strong to clear her head.

  “I don’t suppose you’ve been following what’s happening at Spokane Aluminum?” Robin asked, refilling his own coffee cup.

  It was a good thing Joanna had set her mug down when she did, otherwise it would have tumbled from her fingers. “Spokane Aluminum?” she echoed.

  “Yes.” Robin sat on the edge of her desk, allowing one leg to dangle. “There’s another news item in the paper this morning on Tanner Lund. Six months ago, he bought out half the company from John Becky. I’m sure you’ve heard of John Becky?”

  “Of…course.”

  “Apparently Lund came into this company and breathed new life into its sagging foreign sales. He took over management himself and has completely changed the company’s direction…all for the better. I’ve heard nothing but good about this guy. Every time I turn around, I’m either reading how great he is, or hearing people talk about him. Take my word, Tanner Lund is a man who’s going places.”

  Joanna couldn’t agree more. And she knew for a fact where he was going Saturday night. He was taking her to dinner.

  “MR. LUND’S HERE,” Kristen announced the following Saturday, opening Joanna’s bedroom door. “And does he ever look handsome!”

  A dinner date. A simple dinner date, and Joanna was more nervous than a college graduate applying for her first job. She smoothed her hand down her red-and-white flowered dress and held in her breath so long her lungs ached.

  Kristen rolled her eyes. “You look fine, Mom.”

  “I do?”

  “As nice as Mr. Lund.”

  For good measure, Joanna paused long enough to dab more cologne behind her ears, then she squared her shoulders and turned to face the long hallway that led to the living room. “Okay, I’m ready.”

  Kristen threw open the bedroom door as though she expected royalty to emerge. By the time Joanna had walked down the hallway to the living room where Tanner was waiting, her heart was pounding and her hands were shaking. Kristen was right. Tanner looked marvellous in a three-piece suit and silk tie. He smiled when she came into the room, and stood up, gazing at her with an expression of undisguised delight.

  “Hi.”

  “Hi.” Their eyes met, and everything else faded away. Just seeing him again made Joanna’s pulse leap into overdrive. No week had ever dragged more.

  “Sally’s got the phone number of the restaurant, and her mother said it was fine if she stayed here late,” Kristen said, standing between them and glancing from one adult to the other. “I don’t have any plans myself, so you two feel free to stay out as long as you want.”

  “Sally?” Joanna forced herself to glance at the baby-sitter.

  “Yes, Mrs. Parsons?”

  “There’s salad and leftover spaghetti in the refrigerator for dinner, and some microwave popcorn in the cupboard for later.”

  “Okay.”

  “I won’t be too late.”

  “But, Mom,” Kristen cut in, a slight whine in her voice, “I just got done telling you that it’d be fine if you stayed out till the wee hours of the morning.”

  “We’ll be back before midnight,” Joanna informed the baby-sitter, ignoring Kristen.

  “Okay,” the girl said, as Kristen sighed expressively. “Have a good time.”

  Tanner escorted Joanna out to the car, which was parked in front of the house, and opened the passenger door. He paused, his hand still resting on her shoulder. “I’d like to kiss you now, but we have an audience,” he said, nodding toward the house.

  Joanna chanced a look and discovered Kristen standing in the living-room window, holding aside the curtain and watching them intently. No doubt she was memorizing everything they said and did to report back to Nicole.

  “I couldn’t believe it when she agreed to let Sally come over. She’s of the opinion lately that she’s old enough to stay by herself.”

  “Nicole claims the same thing, but she didn’t raise any objections about having a baby-sitter, either.”

  “I guess we should count our blessings.”

  Tanner drove to an expensive downtown restaurant overlooking the Spokane River, in the heart of the city.

  Joanna’s mouth was dry and her palms sweaty when the valet opened her door and helped her out. She’d never eaten at such a luxurious place in her life. She’d heard that their prices were outrageous. The amount Tanner intended to spend on one meal would probably outfit Kristen for an entire school year. Joanna felt faint at the very idea.

  “Chez Michel is an exceptionally nice restaurant, Tanner, if you get my drift,” she muttered under her breath after he handed the car keys to the valet. As a newcomer to town, he might not have been aware of just how expensive this place actually was.

  “Yes, that’s why I chose it,” he said nonchalantly. “I was quite pleased with the food and the service when I was here a few weeks ago.” He glanced at Joanna and her discomfort must have shown. “Consider it a small token of my appreciation for your help with Nicole’s birthday party,” he added, offering her one of his bone-melting smiles.

  Joanna would have been more than content to eat at Denny’s, and that thought reminded her again of how different they were.

  She wished now that she’d worn something a little more elegant. The waiters seemed to be better dressed than she was. For that matter, so were the menus.

  They were escorted to a table with an unobstructed view of the river. The manfitre d’ held out Joanna’s chair and seated her with flair. The first thing she noticed was the setting of silverware, with its bewildering array of forks, knives and spoons. After the ma;afitre d’ left, she leaned forward and whispered to Tanner, “I’ve never eaten at a place that uses three teaspoons.”

  “Oh, quit complaining.”

  “I’m not, but if I embarrass you and use the wrong fork, don’t blame me.”

  Unconcerned, Tanner chuckled and reached for the shiny gold menu.

  Apparently Chez Michel believed in leisurely dining, because nearly two hours had passed by the time they were served their after-dinner coffee. The entire meal was everything Joanna could have hoped for, and more. The food was exceptional, but Joanna considered Tanner’s company the best part of the evening. She’d never felt this much at ease with a man before. He made her smile, but he challenged her ideas, too. They talked about the girls and about the demands of being a parent. They discussed Joanna’s career goals and Tanner’s plans for his company. They covered a lot of different subjects, but didn’t focus their conversation on any one.

  Now that the meal was over, Joanna was reluctant to see the evening end. She lifted the delicate china cup, admiring its patte
rn, and took a sip of fragrant coffee. She paused, her cup raised halfway to her mouth, when she noticed Tanner staring at her. “What’s wrong?” she asked, fearing part of her dessert was on her nose or something equally disastrous.

  “Nothing.”

  “Then why are you looking at me like that?”

  Tanner relaxed, leaned back in his chair, and grinned. “I’m sorry. I was just thinking how lovely you are, and how pleased I am that we met. It seems nothing’s been the same since. I never thought a woman could make me feel the way you do, Joanna.”

  She looked quickly down, feeling a sudden shyness—and a wonderful warmth. Her life had changed, too, and she wasn’t sure she could ever go back to the way things had been before. She was dreaming again, feeling again, trusting again, and it felt so good. And so frightening.

  “I’m pleased, too,” was her only comment.

  “You know what the girls are thinking, don’t you?”

  Joanna could well imagine. No doubt those two would have them engaged after one dinner date. “They’re probably expecting us to announce our marriage plans tomorrow morning,” Joanna said, trying to make a joke of it.

  “To be honest, I find some aspects of married life appealing.”

  Joanna smiled and narrowed her eyes suspiciously. “Come on, Tanner, just how much wine have you had?”

  “Obviously too much, now that I think about it,” he said, grinning. Then his face sobered. “All kidding aside, I want you to know how much I enjoy your company. Every time I’m with you, I come away feeling good about life—you make me laugh again.”

  “I’d make anyone laugh,” she said, “especially if I’m wearing a pair of roller skates.” She didn’t know where their conversation was leading, but the fact that Tanner spoke so openly and honestly about the promise of their relationship completely unnerved her. She felt exactly the same things, but didn’t have the courage to voice them.

  “I’m glad you agreed we should start seeing each other,” Tanner continued.

  “Me, too.” But she fervently hoped her mother wouldn’t hear about it, although Kristen had probably phoned her grandmother the minute Joanna was out the door. Lowering her gaze, Joanna discovered that a bread crumb on the linen tablecloth had become utterly absorbing. She carefully brushed it onto the floor, an inch at a time. “It’s worked out fine…so far. Us dating, I mean.” It was more than fine. And now he was telling her how she’d brightened his life, as though he was the lucky one. That someone like Tanner Lund would ever want to date her still astonished Joanna.

  She gazed up at him, her heart shining through her eyes, telling him without words what she was feeling.

  Tanner briefly shut his eyes. “Joanna, for heaven’s sake, don’t look at me like that.”

  “Like what?”

  “Like…that.”

  “I think you should kiss me,” Joanna announced, once again staring down at the tablecloth. The instant the words slipped out she longed to take them back. She couldn’t believe she’d said something like that to him.

  “I beg your pardon?”

  “Never mind,” she said quickly, grateful he hadn’t heard her.

  He had. “Kiss you? Now? Here?”

  Joanna shook her head, forcing a smile. “Forget I said that. It just slipped out. Sometimes my mouth disconnects itself from my brain.”

  Tanner didn’t remove his gaze from hers as he raised his hand. Their waiter appeared almost immediately, and still looking at Joanna, he muttered, “Check, please.”

  “Right away, sir.”

  They were out of the restaurant so fast Joanna’s head was spinning. Once they were seated in the car, Tanner paused, frowning, his hands clenched on the steering wheel.

  “What’s the matter?” Joanna asked anxiously.

  “We goofed. We should have shared a baby-sitter.”

  The thought had fleetingly entered her mind earlier, but she’d discounted the idea because she didn’t want to encourage the girls’ scheming.

  “I can’t take you back to my place because Nicole will be all over us with questions, and it’ll probably be the same story at your house with Kristen.”

  “You’re right.” Besides, her daughter would be sorely disappointed if they showed up this early. It wasn’t even close to midnight.

  “Just where am I supposed to kiss you, Joanna Parsons?”

  Oh Lord, he’d taken her seriously. “Tanner…it was a joke.”

  He ignored her comment. “I don’t know of a single lookout point in the city.”

  “Tanner, please.” Her voice rose in embarrassment, and she could feel herself blushing.

  Tanner leaned over and brushed his lips against her cheek. “I’ve got an idea for something we can do, but don’t laugh.”

  “An idea? What?”

  “You’ll see soon enough.” He eased his car onto the street and drove quickly through the city to the freeway on-ramp and didn’t exit until they were well into the suburbs.

  “Tanner?” Joanna said, looking around her at the unfamiliar streets. “What’s out here?” Almost as soon as she’d spoken a huge white screen appeared in the distance. “A drive-in?” she whispered in disbelief.

  “Have you got any better ideas?”

  “Not a one.” Joanna chuckled; she couldn’t help it. He was taking her to a drive-in movie just so he could kiss her.

  “I can’t guarantee this movie. This is its opening weekend, and if I remember the ad correctly, they’re showing something with lots of blood and gore.”

  “As long as it isn’t Teen Massacre. Kristen would never forgive me if I saw it when she hadn’t.”

  “If the truth be known, I don’t plan to watch a whole lot of the movie.” He darted an exaggerated leer in her direction and wiggled his eyebrows suggestively.

  Joanna returned his look by demurely fluttering her lashes. “I don’t know if my mother would approve of my going to a drive-in on a first date.”

  “With good reason,” Tanner retorted. “Especially if she knew what I had in mind.”

  Although the weather had been mild and the sky was cloudless and clear, only a few cars were scattered across the wide lot.

  Tanner parked as far away from the others as possible. He connected the speaker, but turned the volume so low it was almost inaudible. When he’d finished, he placed his arm around Joanna’s shoulders, pulling her closer.

  “Come here, woman.”

  Joanna leaned her head against his shoulder and pretended to be interested in the cartoon characters leaping across the large screen. Her stomach was playing jumping jacks with the dinner she’d just eaten.

  “Joanna?” His voice was low and seductive.

  She tilted her head to meet his gaze, and his eyes moved slowly over her upturned face, searing her with their intensity. The openness of his desire stole her breath away. Her heart was pounding, although he hadn’t even kissed her yet. One hungry look from Tanner and she was melting at his feet.

  Her first thought was to crack a joke. That had saved her in the past, but whatever she might have said or done was lost as Tanner lowered his mouth and tantalized the edges of her trembling lips, teasing her with soft, tempting nibbles, making her ache all the way to her toes for his kiss. Instinctively her fingers slid up his chest and around the back of his neck. Tanner created such an overwhelming need in her that she felt both humble and elated at the same time. When her hands tightened around his neck, his mouth hardened into firm possession.

  Joanna thought she’d drown in the sensations that flooded her. She hadn’t felt this kind of longing in years, and she trembled with the wonder of it. Tanner had awakened the deep womanly part of her that had lain dormant for so long. And suddenly she felt all that time without love come rushing up at her, overtaking her. Years of regret, years of doubt, years of rejection all pressed so heavily on her heart that she could barely breathe.

  A sob was ripped from her throat, and the sound of it broke them apart. Tears she couldn’t exp
lain flooded her eyes and ran unheeded down her face.

  “Joanna, what’s wrong? Did I hurt you?”

  She tried to break away, but Tanner wouldn’t let her go. He brushed the hair from her face and tilted her head to lift her eyes to his, but she resisted.

  He must have felt the wetness on her face, because he paused and murmured, “You’re crying,” in a tone that sounded as shocked as she felt. “Dear Lord, what did I do?”

  Wildly she shook her head, unable to speak even if she’d been able to find the words to explain.

  “Joanna, tell me, please.”

  “J-just hold me.” Even saying that much required all her reserves of strength.

  He did as she asked, wrapping his arms completely around her, kissing the crown of her head as she buried herself in his strong, solid warmth.

  Still, the tears refused to stop, no matter how hard she tried to make them. They flooded her face and seemed to come from the deepest part of her.

  “I can’t believe I’m doing this,” she said between sobs. “Oh, Tanner, I feel like such a fool.”

  “Go ahead and cry, Joanna. I understand.”

  “You do? Good. You can explain it to me.”

  She could feel his smile as he kissed the corner of her eye. She moaned a little and he lowered his lips to her cheek, then her chin, and when she couldn’t bear it any longer, she turned her face, her mouth seeking his. Tanner didn’t disappoint her, kissing her gently again and again until she was certain her heart would stop beating if he ever stopped holding her and kissing her.

  “Good Lord, Joanna,” he whispered after a while, gently extricating himself from her arms and leaning against the car seat, his eyes closed. His face was a picture of desire struggling for restraint. He drew in several deep breaths.

  Joanna’s tears had long since dried on her face and now her cheeks flamed with confusion and remorse.

  A heavy silence fell between them. Joanna searched frantically for something witty to say to break the terrible tension.

  “Joanna, listen—”

  “No, let me speak first,” she broke in, then hesitated. Now that she had his attention, she didn’t know what to say. “I’m sorry, Tanner, really sorry. I don’t know what came over me, but you weren’t the one responsible for my tears. Well, no, you were, but not the way you think.”