Dear Dawn

by Aileen Wuornos

  Shit.! I’ve got to close, my eyes are folding shut. Zzzzzz . . . – Love Lee

  10-15-92

  Dear Dawn,

  . . . Dawn would you do me a favor if you can. If you can afford to. Call Dateline and talk to John (or) Michelle. Tell them I need to see John right away on some more evidence that can prove (cop corruption) in these cases . . . Also that I need to talk to them about Steve and Arlene. I’m gonna start blowin there bull out of the water . . . What I need is a new civil attorney “Pro brono” . . . I’m not looking for free loadin. Just assistance free at the moment. Untill the money comes through ...

  HA HA! There all gonna be “Sore Sorry.” when every thing gets exposed. There poor bottoms are gonna hurt. Ahhh to bad! . . . Well let me close . . . Thank you a Million. For stickin with me, even all these years . . .

  Love ya big time. Always will. 4-now Love Lee

  10-16-92

  Dear Dawn,

  Hi! What a day! Got depo’ed . . . Now I’ve got excellent news to tell you. I’ve come to a Royal trust in Belief, that Arlene is “NOT” in with Jackie. She has been faithfull and true all the while . . .

  I’m waiving off the next 2 trials still. And I know you wanted to see me at Pasco. But Dawn! I can’t handle the jail stay and court-room procedure. So I’m not going to be there. My nerves are to shot. I can’t take that shit anymore . . . as soon as visitation is clear . . . Then we can have our Grand Reunion . . . Well need to cut out. Stay Cool Dawn . . . Love ya Lots – 4-now Take er Slow Lee

  (1)

  10-19-92

  Dear Dawn,

  . . . As I’ve told you before, all of the scenes of the crime, and the way things were left, you could tell it was self-defense and not a Seriel Killer style ... They mutilate and stuff. None of this occurred . . . And everyone knows a 22 is for shootin birds, there like BB(s). Therefore 1 shot would never do a thing. and the assailant would still be fighting with you even after 3 shots. Even after 5. Like Humphey. He had my gun as I held it, positioned to my head, trying to get the trigger pulled down, as my finger was on it. While he was shot at least 5 times already. Almost with good strength still left in him succeeded. Which I would have been shot in my eye. my right eye during the struggle of defense. 22(s) dont do shit. Not with a 225 around or better size man, whose in a crazed state of wanting to do the things he wanted to do to me in the first place, and now shot even madder then that. So. You can imagine the bullets didnt even faze him, untill the wounds started to take an effect,

  These cops know this, these state attorneys know this, as well as others. But Everyones trying to hide this truth of the matter. 22(s) are shit for defense. Even with hollow points.56 22(s) numerous shots have to be fired in order to stop an attacker . . . Plus if there hollow point. Being carved out in the middle, leaves even less of a bullet, and this is how big they are. [drawing of bullet] Yep that big. The top due hickey is the bullet. The shell consists of the gun powder, and remains in the chamber after firing . . . And check this out. Carskaddon had hollow points in his 45. 45(s) bullets look like this Yeah that’s what he was gonna blow my brains out with. Right in the side of my temple. Now you can see why I unloaded my weapon, with nine shots in him, as he held his gun, trying to shoot me. Only thing is he forgot to slide a bullet into the chamber, when he slipped the clip in the handle. This he was trying to do. Slide it over as I was shooting him. I constantly shot him so as to make him loose power, or drop his gun, so he couldn’t slide it over. Now I never knew he had hollow points untill I got home, and never knew how a 45 worked, untill tyria showed me. And that’s how I learned why he was lying there trying to slide the guns to deal across. And if I was such a Seriel Killer. And having the 45 besides my 22. Why didnt I switch weapons. Also when I dumped my 22 in Rose Bay. I still had his 45. Yet I hooked for 5 more weeks without a gun. Tyria knows this. The gun was put in storage. Also! I husseled without a gun before she left. Just taking chances regardless cause I needed to pay off our rent, and get food ect. Shit. 4th page. Gotta Go Another letter to follow. Love Lee

  (2)

  11-3-92

  Dear Dawn,

  . . . Check this one out! Steve comes over to see me at 3:00 P.M. shows me, “finally,” the confessional 2nd half of tape. And also Dateline. Yeah! I did look

  mean. But I was trying to prove my point on a down to Earth understanding. Putting all bull aside and being right on the Level of feelings. Trying to make Society See and acknowledge the situations upon her questions. In a royal honest answer. Guess that fire as a kid really did make my face messed up.57 I’m diffenately not photogetic. Yuk! . . .

  Thank You! for this precious card . . . This one will stay out untill I hit Iron Lady. Get well buddy! Love ya Lots Lee

  11-7-92

  Dear Dawn,

  Hi! There! ol’ Buddy! . . . Doesn’t it seem like everyone thinks there suppose to make . . . all this money off of me . . . Phyllis, she writes me askin me. How much money have I received from the media, how many contracts am I under, and for me to have all Xeroxed and sent to her. Geez! This Women truly thinks I am an easy squeeze . . . I am at the moment hinting to Phyllis, I need a new Civil attorney right now. Hope she, see’s the message and helps me find a new one.... That would force all cases reopened. Plus bust the cops, lawyers and siding Judges in this evil conspired fraud that carried on. Sounds like the most logical thing to do. then going through another trial that only is going to be nothing but a Volusia rail roaded mockery. “Again!” I’d rather have a new trial later in life under Profound. “New” evidence.

  . . . better days are just up ahead. Love ya, This is for now

  Love

  Lee

  11-10-92

  Dear Dawn,

  Well Thanks to Michelle Gillen on NBC during a follow up just now, as well as this afternoon. Ill never see an acquittal in any new trial. This afternoon on channel 4 news she said. She’s Sick, shes severly psychologically damaged, she’s primitive.58 This Evening she said. The issue here is about Fairness of a trial . . .

  But Aileen W. is very ill and should not ever be released back into society ... Michelle said. But you killed a loved one? and I say to that . . . Yeah and what the fuck am I – non humans, no one loves me, I don’t know where they think I wasn’t loved. I had tyria and she loved me, “real bad” . . . as well as me her enough to defend myself to survive and get back to her once again. What am I a fly?

  . . . They fucked me to the chair, and only “Used” the new evidence to get some further ratings ... What piss’s me off worse is that I allowed to do it for free . . . I thought they really cared and whated to get to the truth . . . As I explained over and over to her . . . Mallory + Carskaddon “Did” rape me. The other five tried . . .

  I hate them all now for this . . . God Dawn, all I can say, Is—FUCK YOU SOCIETY—

  —I HOPE SOMEDAY IT ALL HAPPENS TO YOU—

  Well thought I’d fill ya in about Michelle . . . A fuckin crock of bull. Need to close.

  Take Care and Love ya lots

  Lee

  11-14-92

  (6)

  Dear Dawn,

  . . . Did you get your Dake yet? ... Your really gonna enjoy it. I know it! In Genesis, theres an interesting deal in the Summarys on “Evolution.” And “Our Solar System” is intrigueing to read. If you read up on it, you should grab a lamp, sit outside at night read some on it, then turn off the lamp, and check out the heavens. Thinking about God and his vastness of beauty ... Say, Dawn, in the Back of the Dake . . . you’ll see a page that has (370 Sins . . . recorded in Scripture). I went through them all and found before my arrest I had 55 of them) ... about 5 more I need to work on. Like cussing, smoking, hating because of all the crookedness, etc. Check em out! . . . See how many you feel you have. This would also be a good start at helping yourself rectify your faults, slowly rearranging your life for the good in Christ. Better him, then the Devil. Right? . . .

  4-now. Love Always Lee

  11-19-92

 
Dear Dawn,

  WOW! what good news Kevin59 sent over! Your papers for visitation clearance arrived! Man! Am I excited! I just don’t know how finnacially you can do it . . . but regardless. I just can not wait!

  . . . I’ve been informed that Munster, Thompson, and henry,60 were demoted, put in uniform, and have desk jobs now. also that major Dan henry resigned. He was caught talking over the phone to someone else about who owned the rights to any movies on me, etc . . . What they did, Still is unjust! unfair, and totally sick in motives for . . . I know I vent alot on the subject, but pretty soon, I’ll mellow out. Just ignore me, Pleeeeese! If I get to heavy in letters to you on it. I’m Sorry ! But it does feel good to get it off my chest to someone . . . Love always Lee.

  11-19-92

  Part (1)

  Dear Dawn,

  “Various Parts of Movie61 – That were totally a lie. Besides the whole flick being made up, fairy tailed, and out to show hatred and evil, which never existed.”

  #1. Father portrayed never came close to his looks (or) size. Also my Father never treated me kind. “Only mother”.

  #2. I never looked back at my childhood, while continueing on in life . . .

  #3. When tyria and I wrecked. Tyria was driving very straight and normal on a dirt road, but to fast at 50/55 when we came on curve. We only rolled (once) after hitting fence . . . Also car was never wiped down, and also windex bottle was in trunk . . .

  #4. Last Resort is not big inside, also no party went on, if so, I never knew it, and I was at the bar from 9:00 oclock at night until 1:30 (or) 2:00, next day never leaving it.

  #5. Never would dance with a guy, especially slow. And I hardly ever danced with ty even . . . Also never would of taken off my shirt for any-thing. I dont care how drunk I am! I hung the bra up for fun cause it was worn out and held by safty-pins. It was for a joke! Nothing more., I took it out from my bag and cannonball62 gave me a stapler to hang it up with the rest of the bra’s and panties up there in the cieling.

  #6. There was never a convertible. The cop actor looked more like my Father, then that wrinkle faced jerk with the glasses, The scene although it portrayed (self-defense) was not what happened at all. And like I say he didnt have a convertible, he had about an 82 grand prix, rusty and shit. Very worn out.

  #7. “Sea World,” tyria paid my way in with her paycheck money, I had a huge hangover, waited for 11:00, when they could serve beer then, ate some chicken had some beers, with a (20) ty gave me, they63 took off, I said I’d find them later, couldnt find them, so went back to the car, went to a store, bought beer, and a small cooler, stayed in the Sea World (parking lot) with trunk open, so they could hear the music from the speakers ... untill 5:30 P.M., and they finally came back out to the car. I never had any money on me, of my own, except the 20 tyria handed me, after she paid my way in at 24.00 to get in. Liars arnt they. They surely contrived everything didnt they.

  #8. I never spoke to her sister like that, (nor) would ever speak to tyria like that. I simply told [her]. . . , where behind on rent, and if you’d like to, I’d greatly appreciate it, if you could help us catch up. Once we do, then all I ask of you, is to pitch in for food . . . She worked one week at “Casa Del Mar,” quit because she hated the maid work.... She was never scared of me. (She hated the fact that ty and I were lovers.) Because I told her we were. Which tyria got pissed about, because she didnt want her family to know she was homosexual although they had considered it at times that she was.

  #9. “Being arrested.” When they came around the corner. I knew this was it. “I’m busted!” I was calm as a kitten. When he said “your under arrest,” “Lori Grody,” for a concealed weapons charge back in 86, I said. “You’ve got the wrong name, that’s my sisters name, my name is Aileen Wuornos.” And they never read me my “maranda Rights,” untill I confessed . . .

  #10. I never acted like that in the car . . . I didn’t go off. I was to hungover, drunk

  too, and sick from the hangover. Numb as well from thee arrest. I was in (no mood) to be yelling ...

  #11. I never said I was crazy to anyone, Maybe smart, I know I got my shit together cause I didnt do drugs. etc, just drank beer. And so never would lower myself and say to anyone. I was crazy. Exspecially like she did, meaning it. If ever I would say it. Grant you! I’d be laughing and stating it in Jokish style.

  #12. Our motel rooms never looked that dingy, also our Apartments we had, where nice, clean, and attractive in our creative styles to fixing em up. Even the motel rooms . . . Taspersty on the walls and far out blankets and rugs etc. Also we had (3) cats and (1) dog . . .

  #13. Telephone conversations were changed from real conversations taped. Last of movie were I’m suppose to be confessing they choose the crapiest statement under my incoherence, trauma, hysteria, catching me in my wording, of which I would state off the top of my head, not understanding what I’m saying. Not expressing myself well (nor) clearly under these conditions, of which I was also withdrawing to put in the movie to incriminate me, as a “cold blooded, uncaring killer.” To make there label, and framed up movie “look” “oh so true”. Crooked Scum arent they!

  To be continued. 4-now Love Lee

  11-19-92

  Part (2)

  Continuation on Lies over movie.

  They contrived Frame up job they did from the truth.

  Dear Dawn,

  #14. Never carried plastic Plubbix (or) Windexie64 grocery bag. only with tote bag inside. whenever it started raining then, I’d take out bag put it over (tote bag) to keep the rain from seeping in, and getting my overnight clothes wet.

  #15. Gun was always in a separate zipped up compartment of bag, never visable. And never within easy reach. It would take some effort to bring it out. Some maneuvers you’d have to make to retrieve it.

  #16. “Sunbird,” was not demolished like that vehicle in movie. Total exaggeration royal.

  #17. Never talked to the male and female fire department paramedics like that. Was very kind, to have them realize all was cool and go. (Of which they did) Otherwise surely they would of radioed in the cops. So thats fabricated as hell.

  #18. The bar scene of meeting a guy. Never happened as they portrayed it. “Dick Mills”, came up to me at the Juke box, as I started pickin songs, we started about a 10 minute conversation, and he asked me if I felt like cruisin around and talkin awhile, to get out of the noisey bar. I said sounds good to me, and was actually hoping to get a little sex. “I was horney!” But really didnt even care about money cause I had some on me. Was lookin to just Fuck. . . . So help me God, and oh what a sinner I am (aint I.) oh well! We hit it off, and went to bed at his place that night.

  #19. I Never would stand (near phone booth) with demanding attitude over tyria with her phone conversations with her parents. except only one time. when we needed $20000 for our storage. of which we had only 1 week to pay it. She wouldn’t ask her parents, and we lost nearly $8,000 dollars worth of furniture and, clothing, stereo equipment, etc. This is the only time I got pissed off at her royal. We got kicked out of our apartment, because of our lessy ways. . . . We were, on the streets for 2 days. I husseled up bread for a motel. But because of motel rent, food and general neccessaties, I could never get the (200) for the storage in time. Thanks to tyria we lost it all . . . Yet her parents would always send her (300) for Christmas, (or 200) or so for plane tickets home . . . under the fear of her on the streets with our animals, I husseled less than normal, to get our life pattern, straightened back out. So it was gonna take some time. Not an over night thing.

  #20. The river was some 75 yards away from the motel. Also I did not throw the suit case in, (nor) wade in the water. I merely walked in a half crawl underneath the low bridge and dropped items into the water upon a slight toss. The suit case would not sink. So thats why I did this.

  #21. Tyria and I both saw sketches while watching the 12 oclock afternoon news, of which, I was on my way out to hussel, getting ready. I told her “tyria Go call your parents and get
them to send you bus (or) plane fare home. Tell em, you lost your job, Lee left you flat broke, and theres nothing else you can do . . . She did, and her parents agreed to send (150) for a bus ticket. The next day... Doug a friend of mine . . . picked us up . . . went to the Western Union, money hadn’t arrived yet. so he let us off to brows around, said he pick us back up at 3:00. Her bus was to arrive in at 6:00 P.M. Money did finally arrive, still needing to wait untill Doug got back at 3:00, we bought some beer, went behind a laundry mat, started drinkin talking about memories and now our relationship ending, the heartache of it all (were embracing) with tears together, and . . . held on to our love for one another with fear and tears of it soon to end, probably forever. So no, I did not, find tyria gone, in a motel room, and lie on the bed screaming out her name, like an animal . . . Everything in this movie is completely made up. As well as nasty crazy shit to make me look luny . . .

  #22. “Holidays” – in the movie, they portrayed me as stating I didnt give a shit about holidays . . . “Wrong!” I just never had anyone, “I loved” and lived with to spend one with. And so for the past years gone by, (how I would) would be to hit a bar. for (Social comfort) ... if ty wanted to be with her family, I loved and respected her enough to want her to be happy, and not being selfish, never botched when she did decide to go home for any holidays.... Even if it meant my being alone . . . Shit, I done this for years. So whats the difference . . . (So they bullshitted here to.)