Her stomach churned at the damp smell of the underground. It had never bothered her before, alerting her to just how nervous she was. Depending on how this meeting went, she would either be uncoupled or start her new position tomorrow.
She slowed her pace, looking around the dark, confined hallways. Is this place to become my fate? I have proven my loyalty to the State and my ability to handle confidential information. They wouldn’t just send me to a clinic or school; the underground would become my new posting. This dismal, damp prison cell could become my new home. I would never again experience the spacious meeting room just off the kitchen overlooking the gardens. Nor would I get to eat on the balcony amongst friends, taking in the beauty and sweet smells of the vegetation flowering all around.
It wouldn’t just be the elite title that she would miss, but the actual State House itself. It dawned on her how much she thought of Victor. She had naturally always respected him—his title had that effect on everyone—but she didn’t just respect his title. It was him, the man behind the State, she would miss being his right hand.
She enjoyed being in his presence. He had such a sharp intellect, the most incredible work ethic, and he managed it all with both dignity and a sense of humor. She respected and admired him more than anyone else she had ever met. Maybe he was part of the reason she couldn’t settle into her home with Lance. Her feelings for Victor were far from romantic, but how could anyone else ever measure up? Constantly spending time with a man who continually displayed such excellence made everyone pale in comparison.
As the thought crossed her mind, she almost laughed. No, even if I didn’t know Victor or anyone else of his caliber, I would still be dissatisfied with Lance. It has nothing to do with comparison, just his continual display of undesirable traits.
Chastity arrived at the meeting room Dr. Rhetta requested and squared her shoulders before giving a curt knock at the door. She heard the vile woman call out to her. Chastity took one quick deep breath and walked into the room.
“Good morning, Chastity.”
“Good morning.” Chasity took a seat across the table, keeping a stiff back, refusing to sink into her seat.
“Thank you for meeting on such short notice. I know this is a little earlier than when you start your duty, but I saw that you arrived at the State House, well, practically in the middle of the night.”
Chastity held her gaze, refusing to look away. “I am a few hours early. I slept poorly and thought it the best use of my time to get a head start on my day.”
“Yes, I can understand your logic. I’m afraid it was a terrible night for Lance as well. He left your apartment early in the evening and didn’t return.”
Chastity balled her fists under the table. Had she spoken to him first? Again. “Yes, is Lance alright? I can’t imagine where he would have slept.”
Dr. Rhetta pursed her lips. “How nice of you to show concern for your partner.”
Chastity clenched her jaw, taking a breath to keep herself from taking the bait. “Of course, I was concerned. I hardly slept when I realized he was missing.”
“I’m so happy to hear this. It displays that even though things are difficult right now, you have accepted your place in your coupling.”
Chastity started shaking her head, trying to find her words which Dr. Rhetta was sure to use against her.
“Let me put your troubled mind at ease,” Dr. Rhetta pressed on as though Chastity had shown a positive affirmation of her response. “Lance spent the night in an apartment I designated for him. Part of our original agreement was for him to have a safe place to cool down. You see, until he learns to control his temper—something we are working on together—I have made provisions for him to have a space to turn to if he feels he may lose control. This is for your safety as much as it is for his treatment. There, he can cool off and reclaim his perspective. I am certain he will be home this evening.”
Chastity rolled her eyes. “And he can’t just move in there permanently?”
Dr. Rhetta’s eyes bored into her. “Chastity, are you expressing your frustration over last night’s events? Or are you still pushing into your delusion of the State uncoupling you? I thought I made it clear the last time we met, you and Lance will be together until one of you pass away. There is no getting out of your coupling, and if you persist in this delusion, I’ll have no choice but to reassign you to a new civil duty.”
Chastity focused her mind. I have to speak up for myself. She is already railroading me, and this has hardly begun.
“Dr. Rhetta, I disagree with your assessment of our relationship. Lance is highly competitive and insecure with a fragile ego. It doesn’t matter how many date nights we have in a week, he will always feel threatened by me. He can’t handle that I have a higher position than him, that I have a higher intellect, nor that I am independent by nature. I don’t understand how the State’s coupling system works, but all systems have their flaws. I think it best for everyone if we could acknowledge that our coupling has gone astray and make an exception to end our coupling.”
Dr. Rhetta remained silent, drilling holes through Chastity with her eyes. After what felt like an eternity, Dr. Rhetta picked up her tablet. “If that is what you want, Chastity.”
She blinked rapidly, taking a deep, optimistic breath. “It is. Even Victor would prefer it if I lived at the State House to increase my availability.”
Dr. Rhetta typed into her tablet. “I know he does, but you are no longer his administrator. I am sending the report to have a military administrator permanently replace you later this week, one who can manage both their personal and professional lives and handle themselves appropriately.”
Chastity closed her eyes, biting her bottom lip as her eyes instantly filled with tears. “I think that is a mistake”
“I disagree. You will have a new position at a nearby medical clinic.” Dr. Rhetta leaned in, a flash of brightness igniting her eyes. “It is the clinic where my office is located, where I meet with Lance. It will allow me to keep a close watch on you and your progress.”
“A medical clinic?” Chastity shook her head, tears spilling over. “My education is much higher than that position. It is a waste of my skills. I shouldn’t be punished for my dedication to the State.”
Dr. Rhetta leaned back in her seat, raising an eyebrow. “Your dedication to the State? Is that really how you see yourself?”
Chastity stammered while searching for a response. “Of course, I’m devoted to the State, more than most people!”
Dr. Rhetta tucked her chin, looking up at her disapprovingly. “You just said our system is flawed. A system the State designed and stands behind as a viable system for coupling.”
“What?” Chastity gasped.
“You said it only a moment ago. Do you have issues with your memory?” Dr. Rhetta exhaled, leaning back in her chair. “Oh my, I never considered that.” She nodded, mentally processing. “Chastity, I may have made a mistake in my earlier assessment of your situation. Through the genetic screening process for multiple generations, we have nearly eradicated mental illness. I never considered that could be the cause of your issues, but it makes perfect sense to me now. You aren’t a selfish, spoiled girl, you are a sociopath.”
“I’m what?”
Dr. Rhetta nodded. “Yes, I apologize I missed it earlier, Chastity. You are incapable of empathy, thinking only of your own needs and desires.”
Chastity shook her head, straining to keep herself in control this time. “No, that’s not it.”
“Well, of course it is. How else can you look me in the eyes and tell me you are devoted to the State while committing treason?”
“Treason! Wait a minute—”
“Chastity,” Dr. Rhetta cut her off, holding her hand out to silence her. “You accused the State of making a mistake, while demanding that we change our governing laws to suit your needs. You act as though your strong work ethic is something to be rewarded, when really, it’s just feeding into your delusi
ons of grandeur. Trust me, I’ve had people arrested for less than what you have shared with me today. It is only because Victor spoke so highly of you that I was giving you another opportunity to adjust your behavior and settle into your coupling.”
“If I were mentally ill as you say, then wouldn’t they have seen it when I was being educated? This can’t be right.”
“Of course not. As I said, mental illness has been eradicated; no one was checking for signs of sociopathic tendencies. The only illness we have never eliminated is depression amongst new mothers and often people recovering from the loss of a loved one. I don’t know how you have manifested a dead disease, but I’ll have a medical team comb your DNA and look for markers. I don’t know if this was due to the environment you were raised in, or if this is regarding the accident your mother had while pregnant with you, the one which killed your father.”
Dr. Rhetta picked up her tablet again. “I want you thoroughly examined by both a medical team and psychological community. You will make a great research project for all of us. I will keep you in your apartment with Lance unless your impairment proves to be too great, and you become a threat to him.”
Chastity’s mind blurred in and out of focus until the ringing in her ears blared into a full alarm. “A threat to Lance? He struck me and you are worried if I will harm him?”
Dr. Rhetta placed her tablet back on the table, folding her hands before her. “Chastity, Lance has anger management issues whereas you have a severe mental illness. This is not the same thing. Don’t worry, I’m not giving up on you yet. I just need to do some research into effective treatments of the past to see if we can keep you above ground.”
“Above ground?”
Dr. Rhetta blinked. “Well, of course. If you prove to be untreatable, we will need to isolate you from all other civilians, for their protection as well as your own. I hope it doesn’t come to that. As I said, I am optimistic I can find an appropriate treatment for your condition.”
Chastity finally lost herself, giving into a full-bodied wracking sob. She leaned forward, shielding her face with her hands as she wept uncontrollably.
“Chastity, I know this can be difficult to hear, and you are right to be upset. You have survived with a severe mental illness your entire life and done so well for someone in your circumstances. I think the first thing we need to do is give you a period of rest to see if that will clear your head. Do you by chance have any childhood friends you could connect with? I would like you to have someone who makes you feel supported, who can help you accept your mental illness. Can you think of anyone who fits that role? An old friend from your school days?”
Chastity quivered. “I don’t know how I could talk to anyone. Everyone has a civil duty or a family.”
“Yes, of course they do, but I have the authority to request they meet with you. Arrangements will be made, and I will ensure they are delivered to you in the common room. What do you say? Anyone come to mind?”
Chastity nodded slowly. “Yes, Ursa. She was like a sister to me. Her mother was my instructor while my mom worked.”
Dr. Rhetta’s expression brightened. “That sounds wonderful. I will make the arrangements. I think it will be wonderful for you to have this to look forward to.”
Despite her affections towards Ursa, only one question rolled around her mind. How can I look forward to anything ever again?
Chapter 34
Chastity
Her heart pounded rapidly as she walked into the common room. Meeting with an old childhood friend had sounded like a great idea when Dr. Rhetta recommended it—the first recommendation that made sense to Chastity. There were so many times in her life she would have given anything to see Ursa in the flesh, but this was not that time.
What could she possibly say to her? After so many years apart, they meet for the purpose of speaking about something humiliating. Little girls dream of the man they will be coupled with someday—thinking he will be a handsome prince—yet her dream was a nightmare. She was ashamed that her coupling was going so poorly, ashamed that despite her ambitions, her life was average.
A hand rose from a woman sitting at a table in the center of the common room, and she broke into a wide grin the moment Chastity’s eyes locked with hers. Somehow with one simple glance, she knew it would be alright. She turned to walk towards her but Ursa jumped up and ran, throwing her arms around her and squeezed tightly.
“I can’t believe you’re here!” Ursa beamed while bouncing up and down, jostling Chastity’s entire body with her embrace. Ursa pulled back from her, cupping her hands in her face to take a better look. She stroked her cheek and then wrapped her arms around her once again. “I can’t believe it’s you. You’re really here.”
The sense of relief combined with Ursa’s open display of emotions made her lose control. She sobbed into Ursa’s shoulder as Ursa almost immediately stroked her back in a motherly fashion.
“Hey, it’s okay. It’s okay.”
She ushered Chastity to the center table and guided her down to a sitting position, curling in close, keeping a supportive arm around her.
“We can either talk about it, or not. I leave the choice up to you. I’m just happy to see you.” Ursa continued to rub her back soothingly.
Chastity tried to gain control of herself, wiping her tears, she forced a smile and looked up to Ursa. “How’s your little boy?”
Ursa laughed. “He’s not little anymore. He’s always getting into trouble and then flirts his way out.” Ursa shook her head. “I’m afraid he’s growing so fast, he’ll be off to school before I know it.”
Chastity shook her head. “I can’t believe it.”
“You can’t believe it? Watching children grow is a sure-fire way to feel old.”
Chastity grabbed onto her hand and squeezed it. “I’m sorry.”
Ursa shrugged. “What can you do? Such is life. I’ve done my duty to raise him the best I can. Soon, the person he will become is the responsibility of the State.” Ursa sighed. “At least I’ll still have Rowan. He is a good man.” She looked at Chastity. “How’s your partner?”
Chastity’s jaw tightened as she struggled with even thinking about where to start. Although the bruising on her face had mostly healed, the wounds in her soul were running rampant. “I don’t know what to say.”
Ursa shifted, looking deeply into her eyes. “Is he what caused those tears? Because I’ll kill him if he is.”
Chastity smiled and shook her head. “I’m afraid I’d lose you if you did, and I’d take you over him any day.”
Ursa cleared her throat. “Does this mean you will talk about it?”
Chastity huffed as her eyes once again filled with moisture. She knew that the right thing to do was to tell Ursa—it was why Dr. Rhetta sent her after all—but it was so hard.
“How about we start with something easier then? How did you make this happen? I had childcare arrive at my house and inform me we had a meeting in a common room.”
Chastity clenched her jaw. “Yes, this was mandatory for me.”
“A social visit is mandatory? Aren’t you someone high and mighty at the State House?” Ursa nudged her with her shoulder. “I’m surprised the common people are allowed to be in your presence.”
Chastity laughed bitterly. “Yes, I have been working at the State House,” she refrained from sharing her looming demotion, “but that doesn’t make me special.” She looked away, bracing herself. “My psychologist made this arrangement, feeling it would be good for me to reconnect with a childhood friend.”
A few stubborn tears escaped, rolling down her cheeks. She quickly wiped them away and took a deep breath.
“Yikes. What do they do to you in the State House? Why do you need both a psychologist and visitations with an old friend? I mean—thrilled to see you—don’t get me wrong; I’m just surprised is all. You’re the first person I know who has a psychologist, let alone gets assigned visitations with old friends. Until now, I thought psychologist mo
nitored our test scores and surveillance footage, analyzing us from afar.”
Chastity nodded. “Apparently, it is not uncommon for a man to feel resentful when he is coupled with a woman who outranks him.”
Ursa’s face fell, forming a fierce scowl. “Well, I guess I shouldn’t feel envious of your trip to see a psychologist. That’s the biggest line of bullshit I’ve ever heard.”
Chastity shook her head, rapidly blinking back tears. “We got into a fight one night about how little I’m home because of my demanding schedule and,” she struggled to find the words, “he displayed his anger towards me.”
Ursa looked at her confused, then her focus landed on the residual bruising and scab on her lip. She grabbed her hand and leaned in even closer, whispering in her ear. “I don’t care if the State executes me for treason, I’m going to kill that bastard! No one has the right to hurt you.”
Betrayed: Book Five of the State Series Page 23
