A Safe Place to Land

by Dee Ernst

  Craig nodded. “That it would. Anything beats Chicago snow.”

  “Yes, well, if we do drive down, we could stay a few weeks, you know? Spend time with the girls.”

  “That would be good,” Craig said to him. “I know they’d like that.”

  “And I could let Beverly use it. I always liked Bev. And she misses, well, she’d like to see them too.”

  “No problem, Rob. Just tell me when.”

  Rob nodded curtly to me, got in the car, and drove off. Penny, shockingly, did not wave goodbye to me through the passenger side window.

  Standing next to Craig, I sighed deeply. “He didn’t have a hug for me,” I said wistfully.

  Craig grinned. “I don’t think he was very pleased with you, Jenna. You didn’t give him the respect he felt he deserved.”

  We walked back toward the water. “No, not so much. Who’s Bev?”

  “His ex-wife,” Craig said. “She knew Deb, knew who she really was, and had cut her off, emotionally, years ago. She loved her granddaughters though.”

  “They’re easy to love,” I told him. “I’m pretty stuck on them myself.”

  He glanced at me. “I know that,” he said, his voice rough. “And they’ve grown very attached.”

  I felt my eyes start to fill with tears. Every time I thought of them leaving, the tears started. For weeks now. I kept telling myself I’d get used to the idea, but so far it still hurt.

  Almost as much as it hurt to think about losing Craig.

  “It’s the goats,” I told him. “You may have to get them goats in Richmond.”

  “It’s not the goats,” he said. “You’ve been really good to them.” He cleared his throat.

  I looked up at him. “They’re Sam’s grandkids,” I said.

  He nodded.

  “And they’re yours. They are part of who you are, and that makes them even more important to me than I could have ever thought possible.”

  “Is that why you stood up to Robert that day? Because that was really something. I’ll never forget you for that.”

  “You mean otherwise, you would forget me?”

  He stopped so suddenly that I took few steps past him. When I turned, there were tears in his eyes.

  “Craig?”

  “How could I possibly?” he asked, his voice shaking. “After all you’ve done? You saved me, Jenna. You saved us.”

  “I did what I did for you. I would have done anything for you, Craig. Anything.” My own voice was very clear and steady. I clenched my fists. This was my chance. I could see it, right in front of me. Maybe I couldn’t keep him. Maybe, no matter what I said, he’d leave. But at least, if he did, I would have given us my best shot.

  ”I know you didn’t believe me the first time I said it, but I love you. And it’s not because of Sam, and it’s not because I’m lonely and it’s not because I had an itch that needed to be scratched.” I stepped toward him. “I don’t want to be dazzled. I don’t want someone to sweep me off my feet like Sam did. I’m all grown up now and I know what’s important. I know what’s real, and what is going to last. And I know that I want you.”

  He put his hands up and pressed the palms of his hands against his eyes. When he dropped them, his eyes were clear.

  “I love you, too, Jenna.”

  My heart jumped into my throat. He just said that he loved me. Finally, the words were there, right in front of me, and I could see in his face he meant them. He loved me, and there came such a rush of happiness that I couldn’t breathe.

  But…It couldn’t be that easy. There would be a but. But he’d already sold the restaurant, but the job in Richmond was too much money to pass up, but, but, but…

  “From the very beginning.” The words were tumbling out of him so fast I had to lean in to catch every one. “You made me crazy, you know that? With your dogs barking and your ridiculous goats, and running around half naked. And can we talk just a minute about all your stuff, just, well, everywhere? That garden of yours? Do you really need to smell like compost all the time? And Sam…you were so in love with him. How was I supposed to compete with a ghost?” He paused to take a deep breath, and I jumped in.

  “I was only half naked that one time.”

  He shook his head. “One time was enough.” He grabbed me by the shoulders. “I don’t know how he didn’t tell me about you. If I had a woman like you in my life, I would have told the whole world.”

  I flew at him, both fists raised, and hit him, hard, pounding my fists against his chest. “I could kill you, Craig Ferris. Why the hell didn’t you say so?”

  He grabbed both of my wrists and held them. “You were my father’s wife, Jenna. His wife. We never knew each other, but the two of you, together…it made my feelings for you all that much harder to figure out. It made me wanting you seem…”

  I nodded. “Yeah, I had to think about that too. But you and I, Craig, we belonged together. Sam was a part of our lives, but never a part of us, together. Didn’t you see that?”

  “I was afraid,” he said. “After Sam, I was afraid I’d let you down. That I wouldn’t be enough.”

  “You are an idiot. I told you I loved you. I told you that it was you I wanted, not some ghost. Why didn’t you just believe me the first time? Or even the third time? Am I going to have to spend the rest of my life telling you how much I love you?”

  He clenched his jaw. “God, I hope so,” he muttered, and kissed me.

  He let go of my wrists and they hung, limply at my sides, as I just leaned up against him, my mouth on his, while around me the world jumped and whirled and spun from pure happiness.

  I wrapped my arms around his neck and pulled him closer. I could feel the long, lean lines of his body. I knew what they would feel like against me, how his skin would taste, how the gentle strength in his hands would move across my back and down.

  More than all that, I felt perfect and complete, as though every single moment of my life had been leading to just this.

  I heard Finn barking. I didn’t care. And then I heard laughter, little girls’ laughter, and I started laughing too, my mouth still against his, because in one moment, everything had changed.

  “Why are you kissing?”

  “That’s gross.”

  “No, it’s not gross.”

  “Do you like kissing?”

  “Does this mean you’re going to stop being Grandma?”

  I pushed Craig away and dropped to my knees, taking them both in my arms. “Yes, you, I’m finally going to stop being your grandma.”

  Chris threw a little party on a Sunday afternoon to show off her new house, and even though the season had barely started winding down, Craig took off work to come with me. It was our first official appearance in Cape Edwards as a couple, and I was feeling pretty good about the whole thing. I not only wore a long, pretty sundress, I put on mascara.

  The house was a marvel. Yes, they’d put in new floors, but not a new ceiling, and the whole space was vaulted, like a cathedral, with tiny, high windows at the eaves, letting in even more light.

  Both the McCann brothers were in attendance. It looked like Terri somehow got her man. She was calm and subtle about it, holding her hand up, and pointing the finger of her other hand in his direction, mouthing, “mine.”

  Stella and Dara French came late. So did Kenny Malcolm and Olivia. She greeted Craig with a kiss on both cheeks while completely ignoring me. I watched her for a bit until she was off by herself, pouring a glass of wine.

  I sidled up beside her. “So, you and Kenny? Somehow, that makes sense,” I said.

  She arched an eyebrow. “Really? How nice of you to say that, Jenna. Now, about you and Craig…”

  I leaned toward her and she actually shrank back. “Craig and I are fine. We were always fine, no matter what kind of trash you had to say about us. Keep your mouth shut, Olivia. You’re not the only one with dirty laundry. And I can be just as big a bitch as you can, so don’t test me. Got it?”

  She looked at m
e steadily. “Yes. I’ve got it. Keep your Craig Ferris, Jenna. I hope you’re happy with him.” Then she drank off her wine in one gulp and walked back to the party.

  Chris cornered me on her front porch, her eyes dancing. “I’m glad to see you so happy, Jenna. Craig is so great. You and he…fit together.”

  I smiled. “Yes, as a matter of fact, we do. Now, what about you and Mike McCann?”

  She grinned. “We’re exploring possibilities.”

  “That’s good. That’s very good. Mike seems a good guy.”

  “He is. I’m not so sure about his brother.” She made a face. “I think Terri is going to end up disappointed.”

  “Terri is a big girl,” I told her. “She knows what she’s getting herself into.”

  Chris sighed happily. “I guess. My only regret is that I never had a chance to have breakfast with all you single ladies.”

  I thought. “I can’t imagine giving them up,” I said slowly. “We may have to expand our breakfast club requirements to include the newly deliriously attached.”

  She laughed. “Deliriously attached? I love that! Yes, I think I’d fit right in.”

  I looked past her as Craig came out on the porch. He put his arm around my shoulder and I leaned against him.

  Happiness complete.

  Craig moved into my bedroom right away, and offered his empty room to one of the twins, but they refused to be separated.

  “I don’t like sleeping alone.”

  “That room is really small.”

  “And there’s a creepy noise at night.”

  “That’s just the wind.”

  “But it never got painted.”

  “And the floor is yucky.”

  School started, and he declined the job in Richmond. He also decided to sell the restaurant to Glory. They worked out a deal that split the whole of Sam’s on Main into two separate legal entities. He would no longer work at the bar, but continue to own it. She would pay him in monthly installments for the restaurant half.

  I looked at him critically. “And what, exactly, are you going to do all day, if you’re not working at the bar? ‘Cause all that money won’t last forever, and I don’t want you getting fat and lazy and ruining that great butt of yours.”

  He raised his eyebrows. “Great butt?”

  I cocked my head at him. “You don’t think I love you just for your mind, do you?”

  He chuckled and shook his head. “The number of businesses on Main Street that don’t have a website is shocking. Do you know you can’t even access the menu at Treacher’s online? I’m going into business for myself, web development and hosting, and I’m going to use Sam’s old apartment as my office.”

  “Well, that will be convenient, having your customers come up right through the bar.”

  He grinned and tapped his index finger to his forehead. “Always thinking, Jenna. Always thinking.” He looked at me, and an odd look came over his face. “I’m not the one who should be worrying about gaining weight. Have you noticed lately that you actually have boobs?”

  “You’re complaining?”

  “No. I’m just wondering about that night out here in the back. You know, when I didn’t use a condom. That was, what, two months ago?”

  We were sitting in the dock, watching the fish swim, listening to the girls playing with the dogs. I stared down into the water, thinking fast. Oh, dear Lord…

  “Jenna?”

  I looked at him, my whole body tense with a mixture of fear and excitement. “Oh, God, Craig, what if I am pregnant?”

  He burst into laughter. “That would be pretty wonderful.”

  “But…I’m old.”

  “Not that old.”

  “But Sam and I tried. I mean, we really tried…”

  His arm went around me and I felt his mouth in my hair. “Sometimes, it’s just the right combination. And you and I, well, let’s face it. We’re a pretty spectacular pair.”

  “I’d have to quit my job.” My mind was racing so fast I felt dizzy just sitting there.

  “Not forever. Not if you didn’t want to. I could be a househusband. I already do the cooking, and the cleaning, not to mention…”

  “Craig,” I yelled. “This is serious.”

  He looked at me, the smile gone, but his eyes glowing. “Yes, Jenna. You’re right. This is serious. And I am seriously thrilled to death at the thought of you and I having a child together. You’re already a terrific mom, and I cannot wait to see you with this baby.”

  I could not for the life of me single out one of the thousand things I had on the tip of my tongue to actually say. I opened my mouth, but absolutely nothing came out

  “Jenna, don’t tell me you’re speechless?”

  “If it’s a boy, we have to name him Sam. Or a girl. Either way. We just have to.”

  He took my face between his hands and kissed me.

  “True that.”

  And that’s what we did.

  A quick look at the next Eastern Shore Romance…

  Building Home

  I’d never been much of a risk taker.

  I was a good girl in high school. I dated a nice, quiet boy, a few years older than I, who invariably apologized after we had sex because I didn’t scream out loud when I had an orgasm. It wasn’t his fault, because, although I never told him, I never really had an orgasm, despite all his efforts. He was such a great guy that I didn’t want to disappoint him. Maybe if I had offered a suggestion or two, or maybe even moved his hand to the right spot, things would have worked out differently. But, like I said, I didn’t take risks, and I was not going to seem pushy or sexually aggressive because he might break up with me, and then where would I be?

  That was my life. My whole life. Lots of things happened between then and now, but…

  Now I stood, gazing at my cell phone, and at pictures of a rather dilapidated house that my old college roommate was trying to talk me into.

  Buy it, she said.

  It’s a great investment, she said.

  It’s right on Main Street in Cape Edwards, and you can walk to all the bars and restaurants, as well as the beach, she said.

  You could open a real estate office right in town.

  Or do something completely different.

  Or take the money from your mom’s estate and just be a lady of leisure.

  You could start your life all over.

  Begin a new second act.

  And you’ve been here before and you always say you love it. And do you remember all the hot men?

  I didn’t, actually. And, to be honest, hot men were not a priority. Over a year ago I’d broken up with Daniel, my boyfriend of eleven years, to care for my mother. I discovered that my life hummed along just fine without him in it. Based on that, I pretty much decided that if being unattached for the rest of my natural life was going to be a thing, it was NOT going to be the end of the world.

  I flipped through the pictures again. It was a cute little house, just two bedrooms, with a wide front porch. Inside, walls were sagging and the kitchen was impossible. There wasn’t a picture of the bathroom, which I knew was not a very good sign. But it was all workable. Even the sad looking little backyard had great potential, with some pavers and a few potted plants. I could have a dog. I’d never had a dog before: my first husband was a cat person, Daniel had been allergic, and I had spent most of the past two years spending all my non-working hours caring for my mother, slowly wasting away from cancer, which left no time to devote to a pet. Or for Daniel, come to that.

  I’d been selling houses in Rehoboth, Delaware for almost twenty-five years, and I was good at it. But I had never owned my own home. When I married Martin, my first husband, I moved into his condo right from my parents’ house. After the divorce, I went back to Mom’s. Then, I moved in with Daniel. Then, I moved back in with Mom after she got sick.

  Finally, my own house.

  Right on Main Street.

  Close to bars and restaurants.

  With all
those hot men…

  Why the hell not?

  I thought about it for almost a month, during which time I settled my mother’s estate and tried to find a way to live comfortably in her house.

  I couldn’t. It would always be her house, not mine.

  I finally did the work and realized how much it was worth.

  Holy crap.

  I looked at those pictures again. It was selling for dirt cheap because the interior needed so much work, like a brand new kitchen and bathroom, paint… a major rehab job. Terri, in her original text had mentioned something about the perfect guys to help with the renovation, and how we could flip the property and become HGTV stars.

  Terri got carried away with some of her ideas, but if she already knew who to help with the renovation…

  Sold! I texted her.

  Terri’s return text was a series of emojis. Then, of course, she called.

  “Oh, Chris, this is going to be so much fun! You can stay with me and we can walk to the job site every day.”

  “Terri,” I warned her, “you have somebody to do the renovations, right?”

  “Yes. The McCann brothers. Steve McCann and I have, if I can brag just a little, a certain chemistry. I know that once he and I start working together, things will really start to take off. He’s a bit younger than I am, but that’s fine. What’s a five year difference at our age?””

  “So…you want me to buy this house so you can hit on some guy?”

  “Of course not. I want you to buy this house because every time you’ve come down here, you’ve had a great time.”

  That was true.

  “And you’ve had a rough couple of years with your mom. You’ve lived in the same place your whole life, Chris. and could use a change of scenery.”

  That was also true.

  “Change is good for the soul. Don’t you feel like you need to shake things up? Now is your chance.”

  I sighed. “You’re right. Let’s do this. I guess I can drive down there for the sale, but I have to close the office up here, and that’s going to take a while. Can you buy this for me?”