Regretting Gabriel

by Brooks, Anna

  I shrug.

  “Didn’t he get you a phone so you could call him?”

  “No, he said so he could get ahold of me. And he still hasn’t shown me how to use it.”

  “Girl”—he laughs—“you’re clueless. Let me give you some advice. When you have a man, a hot man, who worships the ground you walk on, who buys you a phone, who makes sure you get to and from work safely, who claims you publicly in front of everyone he knows, you let that man know you feel the same. He ain’t messin’ around with you, Cady. Stop acting like you’re along for the ride when he clearly wants you to crawl over into his lap and take the wheel with him.”

  I splash him with water, and he laughs as he walks away. But he’s right, and I know it. I need to show Gabriel that I’m as into him as he is me. I guess it’s just hard because I have been into him forever. It’s difficult to get out of my own head to tell him that without feeling… I dunno… weird about it for whatever reason.

  So after I finish the dishes, I hang around for another hour, and then get a cab home. Once I get ready for bed in sexy pajamas instead of a gross T-shirt, I crawl beneath the covers, turn over to my side, and call Gabriel from my landline.

  But he doesn’t answer.

  And he doesn’t call me back.

  I rush to the door in my not-sexy red flannel pajama bottoms that I changed into this morning and am not surprised when I open the door to see Gabriel. Who else would it be? A smile lights up his face. “Merry Christmas. Sorry I didn’t call you back last night. I was busy, and by the time I got a free minute, it was late, and I didn’t want to wake you.” He greets me and swoops down to steal a kiss. I reach up and wrap my arms around his neck, feeling much better that he came right out with that.

  “I missed you,” I confess with my face smooshed against his chest. It’s only been a day, but it seemed like forever, and I was worried he was going to bail on me already, so seeing him makes me feel so much better.

  He shuffles us inside and closes the door behind us, then sifts his fingers through my hair to cup the back of my head with one hand. The other wraps around my waist, and he pulls me against him even tighter. His fingers put pressure on my head, and I tilt it back to look up at him. Warm gray eyes and a lazy smile make me hyper-aware of every tingle throughout my body. “Missed you, too.” He bends down, and I push up on my toes until our lips touch. It’s soft and sweet and perfect and makes my entire body tingle with happiness.

  “What are you doing here?”

  “Baby, you’re here. Where else would I be?” He shoves his hand in his coat pocket and then pulls out a small wrapped box. “This is why I was too busy to call you yesterday.”

  I tremble and take a step back. Oh, my God.

  “Don’t freak out. It’s not a ring.” He pauses and then winks. “Yet.”

  I laugh awkwardly because if it was, I’d say yes, but the fact that I even thought that and it wasn’t a ring is embarrassing.

  “It means more than a ring to me.” He hands me the red velvet box, and for the first time ever, I notice he looks nervous. His presence is normally so… commanding. He’s confident and funny and just so Gabe that seeing him as anything but that is humbling. “Open it.”

  I take the box without having a clue what it is, but I can tell it means something to him. A lot. I need to give him his present, too. “Wait here.” I pull away.

  “No.” He pulls me back. “Please, Cady. Open it.”

  “Okay.” Licking my lips, I flip the lid open. The springs make it snap, and I almost drop it when I see what it is. My heart skips a beat, and my throat dries up. I have to swallow four times before I can talk. “Is this what I think it is?”

  He takes the box from my shaky hands and lifts the necklace out carefully, then unlocks the clasp. His arms wind around my neck, and he stares into my eyes while he secures it. “If you think it’s my very first guitar pick framed in diamonds and made into a pendant for you to wear, then yeah, sugar. It’s what you think it is.”

  “I can’t take this.” There’s no way. None. He can’t be giving this to me.

  “You can.”

  I finger the charm and know that him giving this to me is huge. If I hadn’t already come to my decision, this would have solidified it. “It’s beautiful.”

  “I’ve had that since I was twelve when I went to my first Masking Maverick concert. He was my idol… threw it right at me. I carried it with me everywhere.” He laughs, but it’s very bittersweet. “I’ve lost my phone at least a dozen times, and I never remember where I put my car keys or my wallet, but I always knew exactly where that was. And now I want you to have it because when I’m gone, I want you to know that I’m always with you.”

  I hate myself for questioning him. For doubting myself and letting my insecurities get the best of me. If my father was here, he’d be so ashamed of my lack of confidence. But he’d be so fucking proud of Gabriel.

  “Wait here.”

  He nods tightly, probably not thrilled with my reaction, and I run to my room to grab his present, then rush back to him. My box to him is small as well, but it’s still bigger than his. It’s wrapped, too, with a green bow on top. “Merry Christmas.”

  “You didn’t have to get me anything.”

  “I wanted to.” I smile, excited and a little bit anxious. “Open it.”

  He tears off the paper and opens the lid. His brows draw down as he looks at the beaded bracelets, then he takes them out. “They’re cool, sugar.”

  “They were my dad’s.” Your idol’s. The one I killed.

  “Baby.” His voice drops, and the smooth vibration makes my inner thighs tingle.

  “I told you he taught me how to play guitar. Those wooden balls are made of the remnants of the first guitar he ever had when he was a kid. He wore them all the time when—” I stop talking before I say on tour. And I don’t know why I didn’t think that Gabriel wouldn’t figure out who I’m talking about since my dad did wear these all the time. Shit. I just have to hope he doesn’t put two and two together. “When he was awake, those were on his wrists. I figured you already have everything you need or want, so I wanted to give you something that meant something to me. So when you go on tour, you’ll have them as a reminder of me.”

  He slides one on his wrist. Then he lifts my left hand. With his eyes on mine, he slides the other bracelet down my fingers where it settles on my forearm, his thumb circles my ring finger before he pulls away. “I’ll always be thinking of you, and I think deep down you know that; you’re just protecting yourself, and I get it. I understand, but all I ask is that you give me a chance. Let me prove to you that you’re all I want. You’re the only woman I’ve ever needed before, and I don’t know what the fuck I did to get so goddamned lucky as to have you because I certainly don’t deserve you.”

  “I’m the lucky one.”

  He touches the bracelet. “Christ, Cady. I can’t believe you’d give this to me.”

  “You gave me this.” I hold up the necklace. “And I can imagine how much it meant to you if you kept it all these years.”

  “It means a lot to me, but you mean more. And speaking of more, I have another present for you.”

  “You do not.”

  He shakes his head and licks his lips, then toys with the bottom one with his teeth.

  “What?”

  “You’re just… I really, really fuckin’ like you, Cady. I hope you know that.”

  I smile up at him, hoping he sees that I feel the same way.

  “Let’s go. I’m gonna grab a blanket since you’ll probably be cold.”

  “Where are we going?”

  “It’s a surprise.”

  I laugh as he rips the throw off the couch.

  “Let me go put on clothes.” I wore my pajama pants today because I thought I was going to be home alone watching Christmas movies all by myself.

  “You don’t need ’em. Just slip your feet in those furry boot things, and let’s go.”

  “Okay,
okay. Sheesh. You’re impatient.”

  “Yeah, I am. I was trying to woo you, but now that I have you, I’m done with that shit, so you get the real me. You’d better get used to it.”

  I pause with my hands on my hips. “You were trying to woo me?”

  “It worked, didn’t it?” he asks cockily.

  I shake my head and fight a smile, and then push my feet into my UGGs and grab my keys. He follows and closes the door behind me. “You’re sure I don’t need anything else?”

  “Nope. Just you.”

  He hurries us to his SUV and opens my door for me. This is going to be the first time I’m in a car with him. I freeze. When his hands settle on my waist, I jerk out of his hold and spin around. “Whoa.” He rests his hands on my hips. “What’s wrong?”

  I can’t hide this from him. “A car accident is what killed my father.”

  His shoulders drop, and he cocks his head. “I’m sorry, sugar.”

  “That’s why I don’t have one, and I choose to walk. I get terrible anxiety if I have to ride in a car, but when I do, I always know about it so I can talk myself into it. I wasn’t expecting this, so I didn’t have time to prepare. It just caught me off guard. I’m sorry.”

  “You have nothing to apologize for. Do you just want to get in and sit for a little before we go?”

  I don’t answer because my throat closes up.

  “Or if you decide you can’t, then we’ll just stay here.”

  I stare into the foggy clouds of his eyes.

  “You’re safe with me, Cady. Always and everywhere, but most of all, I need you to feel safe to talk to me about what you’re feeling so I can do right by you. So if you don’t want to get in my Tahoe, we won’t.”

  I take a breath and want to tell him so much. But I just simply say, “I want to.”

  “You sure?”

  “Yeah.”

  He kisses my nose, and I turn around, where he helps me up, then closes the door and jogs around the front. “The seat is already warm,” I tell him as he sits down.

  “I know, I put it on on the way over so it would be. Don’t want my baby being cold.”

  I wonder if I told him that I loved him if that would scare him.

  He reaches over and holds his palm open, and when I put mine in it, his fingers grasp my hand. I rest my head on the seat as he drives us wherever we’re going without saying a word. He must sense that I need it. I haven’t actually driven since the accident, and even being in a car makes me nauseous. But just like the dark, being with Gabriel, I’m not scared right now.

  He pulls up to the curb of a building on the other side of town. I haven’t been over here for a long time, and because it’s Christmas, the street is deserted.

  “I think it’s closed.”

  “It is.” He shrugs and gets me out of the car, then the door to the old movie theater is magically opened, and I follow him through. “Come on.”

  It only has one movie at a time, and it’s really small, but classic, so a lot of people enjoy it. I look around at the vintage posters and don’t pay attention to the fact that he’s pulled me to the theater and we’re standing in the middle of the seats. “What are we doing?”

  “Just wait.”

  He yanks me in front of him, my back to his chest, and wraps me in his arms. The moment the screen is illuminated, I burst out crying. My shoulders shake and my knees wobble and the heartwarming realization that this man actually cares about me pours out of my soul. That he’s for real. That he’s mine.

  “Don’t cry, Cady.”

  “I… I can’t believe you did this.”

  “I’d do anything for you.”

  He pulls me down, and I curl up in his lap. He tucks the blanket over me and holds me in his arms, and together, in the dark of a movie theater, we watch It’s a Wonderful Life.

  Gabriel

  Waking up with her is the shit songs are written about. Every time I look at her, she gets more and more beautiful, even in her damn sleep. I want to stare at her almost as much as I want to touch her, but my skin itches to be in contact with hers more than my eyes desire to admire her. She’s lying on her back, and her legs are bent at the knees and turned to the right. Her arms are resting just below her breasts, and her face is toward me. I push up on my side and rest my head in my hand, then use the back of my finger to push some hair off her face, then trace it down her jaw.

  Her lips pull up slightly, as if she’s smiling in a dream. I hope it’s about me. I want to be on her mind as much as she is on mine. It’s crazy, this connection, this attraction, this spark I feel with her. I’ve never experienced anything like it, and it makes me insane.

  All I want to do is be with her. I’ve never had more fun being with one person practically doing nothing than I do with her. She squirms and rubs her thighs together, and I trail my fingers down over her collarbone, between her breasts, over her fingers that are crossed above her belly, past her stomach, and then feather-light over her panties on her hip.

  She changed out of her pajama bottoms after we got back yesterday and is wearing a white nightie with matching panties. She looks like an angel.

  She rubs her thighs together again, and I sneak a finger beneath the elastic and trace back and forth. Goose bumps rise on her skin, and she slowly rolls fully onto her back. My finger slides along the material over her hip. “Hey,” she whispers, soft puffs of air parting from her pink lips.

  When I sit up, I waste no time and gather her nightie at the bottom and rip it off her. Her nipples are perfect little peaks atop perfect little tits, and I cup one breast and feed it into my mouth. She fists the sheets and squirms, but my legs are on either side of hers, holding them closed and restricting her movement. My free hand ghosts up and down her side, toying with her panties and then kneading her other breast.

  I switch sides but pinch and gently pull at her nipple that’s stiffened from my mouth.

  “Morning.” I crawl up her body and pepper kisses along the way. I massage her jaw, putting pressure on her cheeks. “Open.” Her lips part, and I scoot up, and when she sees my cock coming at her, her eyes fly to mine. I press the tip against her lips and put some pressure for her to open them farther. “There you go, Cady. Open up for me.”

  Her tongue grazes the underside of the head, and I watch as she swallows down the precum leaking out. She makes a squeak, and I grin down at her.

  I pull out and push back in. My fingers are still holding her face, and I trace her lips stretching around me with my thumb. “Suck, baby.” Her cheeks hollow out, and I hiss at the unexpected intensity at which she pulls me in. “Fuck.”

  When I attempt to slide out, she shocks the shit out of me and reaches up, fisting my shaft and stroking me. “Christ, Cady.” She starts lifting her head and sucks me down farther than I would ever dare to push, and I have to stick a hand out and hold myself up on the wall and just watch as she worships my dick and explores every centimeter.

  “So beautiful, sugar. God, you don’t even know how hot it is to see you workin’ my cock like that.” She moans, and I lift my hand from the mattress and grab my balls, squeezing them to try to hold off from coming down her throat. She again surprises the shit out of me and wraps her dainty fingers over mine. “Here.” I pull my hand away, and she takes the hint, cupping my sac in her hand. “Yeah.” I encourage her. “Feel how heavy they are? How full?” She moans, and I slow the pace of my thrusts. “I’m gonna come on you so you can see.”

  She nods, and I smirk. “You want that?” Heated eyes find mine. “You want me to come all over you? Mark you? Show you how much I need your little body, how much I crave it?” When her fingers tighten everywhere, I almost lose it and have to pull out of the tight, wet suction of her mouth. “I will, sugar. Just not today.”

  Her satisfied smirk tells me she likes the thought of that, but her squirming legs and little mewls tell me she needs to come right now.

  “Phenomenal, Cady. You’re absolutely phenomenal.” Rubbing my nos
e against hers, I push her legs apart with mine.

  She sucks in short bursts of air and swallows, her chest practically heaving.

  I slide down and groan at how wet she is. Her thong is soaked, and the inside of her thighs are glistening. “Baby, you made a mess down here.” I grab her ankles and tug her down the bed, then drop to my knees. I raise my eyes and find her heated ones on me. She licks her lips, and I cock my head. “Let me clean you up before I fuck you.”

  I kiss the inside of her knee and glide my tongue up her thigh. When I get to the heart of her, I close my mouth over her panties. “Oh, my God.” Her back arches, and I press my tongue against her, swirling the silk around her opening before grazing her clit with my teeth.

  When she screams my name, I lose the patience I had and rip her thong in half. The material falls to the bed, and I push her legs back so she’s bent at the knees, pussy wide open for me to devour. It takes only a flick of my tongue before she explodes, and while her walls are spasming, I flip her over, haul her up onto her knees, and fuck her from behind.

  And still, my pelvis crashing into her, cock pounding her pussy, balls slapping against her clit, her hair fisted in my hand, my thumb pressing between the globes of her ass, her screaming my name, still… it’s not just fucking, it’s making love, because everything about us comes down to those four letters.

  Her pussy ripples around my cock, and after we come together, I collapse on top of her. Our breaths are harsh, and I can feel my heart pounding in my chest. I brush her hair to one side and press my lips to her neck. “You okay?”

  She nods against the pillow.

  “I was rough, sugar. Tell me you’re okay.”

  “I’m okay, Gabriel.”

  I drop my forehead against the back of her neck and catch my breath, then I roll her over and tug the covers over us. Facing her, I study her flushed face and make sure she’s actually okay.

  “You know I love you, right?”

  She presses her lips together and squeezes her eyes shut. A tear rolls down her cheek, and when she nods, I pull her close. The top of her head is below my chin, and her choppy breath whips out against my collarbone.