The Secrets of the Seducer

by Francesco Cibelli

  At some point my friend said to me, “Did you realize that that girl has been looking at you incessantly since we got here?”

  Surprised, I answered no and spotted the girl staring at me. She was very pretty, slender and with beautiful brown curls.

  Then I could hear what her friend was saying, “Marica, in your place I’d approach and introduce myself. Don’t pass up the chance.”

  We immediately began to exchange glances and smiles, but after a few minutes the two friends arrived at their destination and got off the bus. Marica and I kept staring at each other. She looked at me almost in tears and waved goodbye. At that moment I heard an inner voice telling me, “Go to her!” So, I shouted to the driver that I had to get off urgently. As soon as I got off the bus, we both started running toward each other. And guess how we introduced ourselves? With a deep hug! This way of introducing myself was unique. Marica’s was one of the most beautiful conquests of my life.

  Generally speaking, on vacation you can say a lot of lies to appear seductive. You can say that you are rich, and famous. You can make up adventures never lived before. Where no one knows you, you can be whoever you want. You can promise women the world, as long as you play the part in a credible way. Otherwise, especially the most experienced women will smell the deception. Like all arts, you learn to lie naturally with practice. So, don’t be afraid if at times a seductive approach fails.

  The power of seductive words is truly extraordinary. With the power of words, I have seen imbeciles succeed in getting affairs with models, actresses or daughters of wealthy men. More generally, I have seen that, with seductive words, total hacks can become millionaires.

  Abroad, this is even more pronounced. I have acquaintances who are simple workers and who, in countries such as Cuba or Brazil, have passed themselves off as wealthy men. Some of them, besides having numerous affairs with beautiful girls became happily married. Their wives, after discovering that they were normal people, “forgave” them. And it could not be otherwise. When a woman is in love, she forgives several misdeeds, sometimes even cheating.

  As far as Eastern Europe is concerned, I am a direct witness to the fact that women are strongly attracted to Italian men. Are you Italian? Then you don’t need seduction techniques. Almost all women will like you just because you are Italian. I’ve been to Albania, Montenegro and Belarus. Here the Italian man is not only seen as wealthier than other men, but above all he is more intriguing, sweeter, and he knows more about courting than the local men, who are colder.

  I want to tell you about an episode that happened in Albania, a country that I particularly love. The sea and the landscapes are beautiful, almost everyone can speak Italian, and life is much cheaper than in Italy. Everyone is very kind.

  I was on a vacation in Tirana and one afternoon I saw a lovely brunette in her thirties, walking. Immediately, I approached her asking for the nearest bar. She spoke a perfect Italian and offered to walk with me to my destination. She told me that she was vice-director of an Italian textile company, which had invested in Albania. She asked me what deal brought me to Albania.

  At first, I joked, “To get engaged to you.” But then, I pointed out that I was on a vacation. She was very surprised, as Italians usually go to Albania for business purposes. Anyway, once we got to our destination, I asked her if she would keep me company and she immediately accepted. In that case I didn’t need to use any seduction technique. Yona (that’s her name) was eating out of my hand and we told each other about our lives. She just asked me if I was a playboy, or a drifter, and I obviously said I was a serious guy. One thing that surprised me was that she was categorical in paying the bill. She said, “I work”. Fine!

  That same evening, we decided to have dinner together in a restaurant specializing in seafood dishes. I wasted no time. During the dinner, where we chatted about playful topics, first I held her hand and then, staring at her in love, I told her that I liked her. The kiss came immediately, along with more kisses, which multiplied during the evening.

  The next day we met and Yona said to me, “In Albania a girl who is still unmarried by the age of thirty is considered an anomaly. Here young people all get married at the age of twenty. My parents urge me every day to find a husband. And if I don’t do it in a very short time, they want me to marry an Albanian, a family friend, who now works in Holland and whom I don’t even know. That’s why I am asking you, are you interested in me? Would you come to my house tonight to meet my family?”

  This question caught me off guard, but I immediately replied smiling, “Maybe it’s a bit early, but I agree to meet your family, especially out of jealousy. I don’t want to see you with another man.”

  That same evening, Yona and her brother came to the hotel where I was staying and picked me up in a beautiful Mercedes. When we arrived at our destination, I was amazed. They lived in a three-story villa with an adjoining land rich in plants, flowers and orchards. And all of this was almost in the center of Tirana. I was first welcomed by her mother, a very kind and cheerful housewife, who offered me all sorts of delicacies. Then came her father, a very elegant gentleman who talked to me about his profession as a lawyer, because I too have a degree in law and was qualified in the profession. I asked him many questions. Then, we all toasted together with a special homemade schnapps.

  Yona’s mother took the floor and said, “We are Muslims. Even if we are not fundamentalists, we strongly believe in the value of marriage. Family comes first. That’s why, if you’re going to get married, Yona would come to Italy and leave her job without any problems. If you want to live in Tirana, we already have a house ready for you, and my husband would have many connections to find you a position in some legal office of Italian multinationals.”

  Very surprised, I replied, “Yona and I will decide these days.”

  At night I thought, “How easily I could make a home and work in Tirana. In Salerno I would only be dreaming of all this!” I was slightly unsure whether to accept the proposal or not, but then, I thought I wasn’t ready. I sent a message pretending that my family had suffered a loss and the next day I left for Italy.

  Seducing at university or in public places

  Seducing at university is quite easy, also because very often, as a colleague, you share goals, aspirations, interests, and dreams. In this case, however, you need to be less straightforward than when you meet on the street or on vacation.

  And if you follow the same courses, it’s child’s play to be able to seduce the girl you like. Just be active. For instance, I used to record the professor’s lessons and girls would often ask me for a copy of the recording. Others would ask me if we wanted to alternate between recording and rewriting the lessons. Of course, I could not deny any kind of collaboration to these sweet damsels. Once I had acquired a reasonable knowledge of the girl I liked and her best friends, I would join the study group of the chosen beauty. In case, she wasn’t part of any study group, I would propose it. There were two scenarios. If I had noticed some interest on the girl’s part, I would ask her if she wanted to study together. Doing so in company would spur both of us to respect a certain work program. If instead the girl had not yet given me positive signals, I would first test the ground with her friends, in order to create a collective study group.

  Once I had reached a certain level of confidence, I then showed myself determined in my aspirations. For instance, I proved myself sure about becoming a notary, one of the highest aspirations of law graduates.

  I would often talk about the future, trying to involve the flame of the moment. For instance, I would mention the setting up of a large law firm in which I would deal with civil law matters while my latest conquest would deal with criminal law matters.

  Through imagination, and by showing determination, you can conquer any kind of woman, even the richest and most high-ranking. Imagination and words are a powerful weapon. Sometimes I would venture further and joke that our son would deal with tax law instead. This is a way to create in the
damsel, the feeling of already being a couple. In this phase I used classical seduction techniques saying I wasn’t engaged, but I was seeing many women. In this way I tried to arouse a minimum of jealousy, alternating days where I showed interest and others where I would disappear.

  And how many girlfriends I have managed to change by playing the “professor” of legal subjects! Having successfully passed the examination of “Institutions of private law”, I would propose myself as an expert in the field (in part I was) to the girls of the first year of law. I would offer them free lessons. Going to their house, I immediately created a degree of intimacy with both the girl and her family. They would often want to pay me, to which I categorically refused and said that at most I would accept a pizza at home or in a restaurant. Other times, of course, we would go out during a break between two lessons. And in these moments I would use my techniques. One element to highlight my strategies were facilitated by the fact that, as a “teacher”, I exerted quite a certain allure.

  One note, I have always held some kind of charm over the parents of ladies, for I look like a good boy. However, having the parents’ approval is negative. Girls tend to act in a way that is contrary to what is said or recommended by the parents. So, dear aspiring seducer, never try to appeal to the parents of your “prey”. If a girl told me that her parents liked me, I would immediately respond, “Honey, if they knew who hides behind this angel-like face, they would change their mind!”

  Knowing and seducing at the movies or at the theater is less easy, but still possible. You have to try to sit next to your aspired target and with discretion, comment on the film or scene you are watching. If the girl comments first, then you have to confirm her words with yours. You must show yourself to be experts in that kind of film or play.

  Very often there are film genres at the movies that are more suitable for seducers. From my experience, I’ve managed to conquer more girls if the film is sentimental, comic or erotic.

  Once I went to see “Fifty Shades of Grey” with friends and immediately noticed how there were a lot of ladies already excited before the film had even started. We sat next to a small group of extremely cute girls. During the film it was more them than us who made the most piquant comments about the film. This certainly did not bother us, as we also made our own “spicy” remarks. At the end of the film the girls were so hot and bothered that I suggested we go have a drink to “recover” from the film. They gladly accepted. Then we went to dance. It was a long night with my favorite girl from that little group of wild ladies!

  Seducing in a disco

  Even to seduce in the disco there are some particular techniques to follow.

  The first rule is to dress well. Unlike other occasions, here words count for very little, for an obvious reason. The noise of the speakers does not allow you to have a conversation worthy of the name. So, it is necessary to put on fashionable clothes, without, however, excessively distorting one’s style. In the disco in particular, you can experiment with new fashions and new looks. With regards to the latter, it is preferable to have short hair, a perfectly shaved beard and a pleasant scent. If you want to keep your hair long, you must take care of it with dedication and apply a lot of gel to embellish it. This means that in the disco, your appearance will contribute about 50% to your seduction quest!

  The second rule is to smile and appear happy. If you are sad or have suffered a loss in the family, you should postpone the hunt for beautiful women. Your smile must be spontaneous. You must be lighthearted. Only in this way, looking at the girl you like, you can be reciprocated. Even on these occasions the principle of reciprocity applies. Sincere smiles attract smiles. Very often, my spontaneous smile was reciprocated and at that point it was only natural to say “Hi, I’m Francesco.”

  The third rule is to take your space and focus on your prey. In the disco there are hundreds of beautiful girls and between a smile and another, among the many theoretical opportunities, you may not optimize the time and end up with nothing. It is therefore preferable to enter the club early, at the beginning of the evening. In this way you will be able to target groups of single girls or engaged girls (avoiding them) and you will be able to choose the prettiest one, the one that deserves to be conquered. By going to the club soon, perhaps, you will avoid your damsel falling into the arms of a faster seducer. To be avoided, like the plague, are the super crowded places where you trample on each other. You have to create your own space and get noticed. Leaving the dance floor from time to time in order to recharge your batteries is an excellent strategy. I have often obtained more results on a balcony, or in an outdoor place, than on the dance floor. Outside, you can use all the techniques of the good speaker, the same techniques which were used to seduce on the street or in public places.

  The fourth rule (which applies after receiving at least one smile) is to have physical contact. I think it’s quite easy in a disco since you go dancing. You don’t have to be a great dancer, but you have to move to the rhythm of music. Indeed, sometimes, to the rhythm of music, after the girl had reciprocated my smile, I was able to dance with beautiful girls without even introducing myself. The dances continued even after the disco! The important thing is that the contact is tenuous and sensual. You do not have to bother the girl as if you had never seen a woman in your life!

  So, as a general rule, in the disco those who took courses in Latin American, salsa or tango, do not take much advantage over the other seducers. It is obvious, however, that places where you only dance Latin American or tango, those who took dance classes start off with a gigantic advantage compared to others who do not know those dances. In addition, there are very few men who take courses, while many more women do.

  The last rule is to be bold and take the first step. Worst case, you’ll be rejected. If you don’t try at all, the result will be the same as being rejected. If you try, luck or the art of seduction will play in your favor.

  One night a few years ago I was in a disco with friends and I had set eyes on a beautiful blonde girl, slender and with blue eyes, a real model. For a few minutes I watched her almost petrified. My heart was pounding, and I only had eyes for her. Many other men were approaching her, also because she was in a group of very unbridled friends. She kept laughing. That lady was too endearing to let go. In a flash I approached her, smiling at her and her friends.

  One of the friends said to me, returning my smile, “My friend Veronica is beautiful, huh? You’ve been staring at her for half an hour.”

  A bit uneasy, I replied, “Beautiful! And if she ever agreed, I’d marry her right now.”

  “Even!” continued the friend. “Well, you’re lucky anyway, because Veronica has bet to kiss the first one who approaches her tonight. Do you want to? The only thing is that you have to be filmed on the phone.”

  With my heart drumming in my chest, I replied, “For Veronica, this and more!”

  I had in my heart a hidden doubt that they were making fun of me, but suddenly Veronica introduced herself, took me by the hand and said, “Get in place.”

  I found myself surrounded by my friends, Veronica’s friends and many onlookers. At a certain point I heard a voice exclaiming, “Ready, set, kiss, go!” I felt Veronica hugging me and gave her a very sweet kiss on the lips. I was madly in love!

  I heard voices shouting: “Bravo!” And the dances started. I danced with Veronica and my friends with her friends. We would often go in circles together, jump, shout, and have fun. The girls were under the clear effect of alcohol. During the evening the hugs and kisses between me and Veronica became more and more intense and for me there was only me and her, as in a dream. At one point, Veronica told me that she had to go to the bathroom. She felt ill because she had drunk too much.

  While I was waiting for her, her most sober friend told me, “Francesco, let’s talk seriously now. Veronica broke up with her boyfriend a week ago. She was about to get married. She is drinking too much and can’t think straight. Are you serious about her?”


  I replied, “I’m more than serious! I’d be a fool to miss a girl so beautiful and sweet.”

  The night was long and unforgettable, but the next day I found out that Veronica had made up with her ex. After a few months they broke up definitively and I spent another thousand fabulous nights with her. However, this is another story to be told another time.

  If luck helps the daring, I confirm it. With Veronica I was daring and took the train (which often passes only once) that would take me to her heart.

  Seducing in chat

  The importance of social networks and dating chats is well known. If you’re shy, dating chats can be a phenomenal way to meet new girls. In fact, you are protected by anonymity. You do not have the embarrassment of having to respond immediately. You have more time to study the girl you want to seduce. Even for playboys, chats amplify the possibilities of knowing the prey to seduce. You can chat simultaneously with a hundred women in a day and get several dates, even on the same day.

  The dating chats I’ve tested the most are badoo (only the free features, excluding superpowers) and meetic (I used only the free promotion for new customers). However, there are a lot of dating chats and you should try them all, if free. Paying to chat or, in general, to be with a woman, is always a failure, the antithesis of seduction.

  But let’s get to the techniques. The first rule to observe in order to seduce in chat is to take care of the profile picture. It may sound trivial, but the profile picture is the first thing a lady observes. So, you need to choose an appealing photo with a beautiful background (e.g. the sea). You can also slightly retouch the photo with the many apps available. The important thing is not to completely distort the photo because once you arrive at the date, the chances of a positive outcome will decrease dramatically if you have misrepresented yourself in your photo. The description, however, can be generic, because you will have to identify in part in the tastes and characteristics of the girl you like.