Falling for My Best Friend

by Victorine E. Lieske

  His voice broke and he tore all my walls down in that instant. Parker never cried, but he was as close to it as I’d ever seen him. I hugged him back, pressing my cheek against his chest.

  “Please forgive me,” he said, his voice still full of emotion. “I’m such a jerk.”

  The bell rang, but I didn’t want to let him go. “I forgive you,” I whispered. He had been a jerk, but I was no longer mad at him. I closed my eyes and just reveled in the feeling of being in his arms. “Won’t you tell me what’s going on?”

  He pulled back from me, ending the embrace before I was ready for it to end. He looked pained. “I’ll tell you. Tonight. Okay?”

  “Okay,” I said, nodding, grateful he was going to let me in on whatever it was that was bothering him.

  “I’ll meet you after school.”

  “All right.” I watched as he walked away, my heart caught in my throat. Parker was in pain. I could see it now in the way his shoulders were tense. The way he looked like he was carrying something much heavier than his backpack. I hadn’t seen it before.

  As I turned to walk toward my first class, I passed by Lucas in the hallway.

  Funny. I hadn’t even noticed he’d been nearby.

  Chapter Eleven

  The school bell sounded and I sprang up from my chair. Friday. The best day of the week. At least, after school was done. I pushed into the hallway and joined the stream of students walking toward their lockers. Toward freedom.

  Parker slid up beside me as I shoved my last book into my locker. “Thanks again for the ride this morning.”

  “It was no problem.” I glanced at him. The circles under his eyes were more pronounced. “Dang, Parker, did you sleep at all last night? You look like the walking dead.”

  “Not much. I was up dealing with…stuff.”

  “The stuff you’re going to tell me later?”

  He nodded. “Yeah.”

  I hooked my arm around his. “Come on. I know just the thing you need.”

  He humored me, climbing into my car and then out again after I parked at home. I opened the large shelving unit with doors at the back of the garage and rummaged through things until I found what I wanted. I pulled out a dusty box. “Here it is.”

  Parker looked at me like I’d lost a couple of marbles. “A hammock?”

  “Yes. I begged my dad to buy me this several years ago, so I could string it between those two trees in our backyard. But he bought it right before I had a huge test and I couldn’t set it up right away. Then we went on a trip, and I shoved it in here. I kind of forgot about it until just now.”

  “What you really mean is you were too lazy to string it up.”

  I huffed. He knew me too well. Although it wasn’t laziness. I had looked at the instructions and it looked complicated. “It’s perfect for today, because it’s a nice day out and you can help me string it up, then you can take a nap in it while I finish up my homework.”

  “Somehow I feel like I’m being roped into hanging this for you.”

  “But then you can rest in it. Think of it. The light breeze rocking you while you dream of—”

  “Fine,” he said, not trying to hide that he was laughing at me. “Come on. Let’s see how hard it is to set up.” He held out his hand for the package, and I handed it to him.

  Parker unboxed the hammock while I sat in the grass and worked to find x and y in my algebra homework. He had it strung up in thirty minutes. He got in and lifted his feet up, his hands behind his head. “Ahh. You’re right. This was a good idea.”

  I had to admit, he looked comfortable. In fact, I was suddenly quite jealous of him. “Maybe I should try it out. You know, to make sure it’s the right height for me.”

  He gave me a smug smile. “Nope. Your rules, not mine. You get to finish your homework while I relax.” He closed his eyes.

  That made me even more jealous. “Please? Just for a second?”

  “Nope.”

  I closed my book and set it on my paper so it wouldn’t blow away. “Come on. You’re just being a brat now.”

  “I’m taking a nap. Like you said I could.”

  I knew he was teasing me. He was also underestimating how badly I wanted to try out the hammock. I crept toward him, unsure if his eyes were really closed, or if he was watching me through his lashes. He didn’t move. He was extremely ticklish, so I poked him in the side.

  He let out a yelp and grabbed my wrist. I struggled to continue to tickle him. “Get out of my hammock,” I said, unable to stop the giggles as he squirmed and fought me.

  “Make me.” He yanked my arm and I lost my balance, falling into the hammock. My laughter rang out as I struggled to roll off Parker but not fall onto the grass.

  “Oh, is that it? You’re going to join me, now?”

  Hmm. Not a bad idea. “Yes. I am.” I stopped trying to tickle him and maneuvered until I was snuggled beside him.

  He looked at me. “This probably isn’t a two-person contraption.”

  “Shut up. Are you calling me fat?”

  His eyes widened. “What? No. Never.”

  “It’s fine. The ropes are holding. I think we’re well under the weight limit on the box.”

  He nodded and relaxed back into the fabric and closed his eyes. “All right. You can join me.”

  I laid my head on his chest and closed my eyes as well, the breeze carrying the smell of the ocean. Parker was warm, which was handy since it was an overcast day. I listened to the waves and the sound of his heartbeat as a seagull cawed in the distance.

  His fingers brushed against the side of my face. I couldn’t tell if he was brushing my hair back, or just tracing the side of my cheek, but it sent shivers through me. I was getting used to Parker’s touch doing that to me. I didn’t move, because I didn’t want him to stop. It felt nice. But it was making me drowsy.

  Minutes passed and I could feel myself slipping into unconsciousness. I was content as the sounds of the ocean and Parker’s touch lulled me to sleep. Before I drifted off completely, I heard Parker whisper something. It sounded like, “You have no idea, do you?”

  But that didn’t make much sense, so I figured I’d either heard him wrong, or I was already asleep and dreamed up the whole thing. The next thing I became aware of was Parker shifting. I opened my eyes, the fog of sleep making me confused. “What’s going on?”

  “Text message.” He pulled his phone out of his pocket and looked at the screen. Then he groaned.

  “What is it? Is it your mom?”

  “Yes.”

  “What does she need? Do you have to go?”

  He pressed the phone to his chest and looked up at the trees. “No. She’s drunk texting.”

  “Oh.” I wasn’t sure what else to say to that. His mother had always been a bit strange.

  Parker swallowed, and I could tell he was upset. “I think she has a problem.”

  “Oh,” I repeated. That wasn’t good.

  “She’s been drinking a lot lately. That’s why she got into the accident. She was drunk and hit a telephone pole.”

  I sucked in a breath. “Oh, no.” I was starting to understand now what was going on with Parker. The reason he was so tired. The reason he’d been on edge lately.

  “Her drinking is getting bad,” he said, his voice low.

  My throat tightened. If his mother needed to go get some help, what would Parker do? Would the state take him away? He wouldn’t be eighteen for another seven months. He could get sent into the foster care system. “How bad?” I whispered.

  “Bad.”

  I didn’t like the sound of that at all. I wrapped my arm around him and pressed my cheek against his chest. “I’m so sorry.”

  He drew in a deep breath and let it out as he held me. “It’s going to be okay.”

  It was the oddest thing. Parker was consoling me, even though he was the one with the problem. “But what if it’s not?” My words were once again a whisper.

  “I’ll be fine.”

&n
bsp; “Will she need rehab?”

  “I don’t know.”

  I bit my lip, not knowing what else to say. There were no words left in me. I’d never had to deal with a problem like what Parker was going through. My mom left us, but my dad was always there. He was the reliable one. I knew no matter what, my dad would not flake out on us.

  My heart ached for Parker. I leaned up on my elbow as best I could in the confined space and looked into his eyes.

  He returned my gaze, his gray eyes stormy. I could see the pain he carried hidden in the depths. I reached up and traced the side of his face with my finger, like he had done to me. He closed his eyes and his lips parted, a gasp escaping.

  A crazy thought sprang into my mind. Maybe my touch was doing the same thing to Parker that his touch was doing to me. I froze, my finger resting on his face. I didn’t want to give Parker the wrong idea.

  I cared about him. Deeply. But my heart wanted Lucas. It was Lucas who made my knees go weak. Lucas whom I had such a large crush on. I knew we’d be perfect together.

  Parker was safe. He was my rock. But he wasn’t Lucas. The thought of dating Lucas was exciting. Being with Parker was more like slipping on an old pair of shoes. Comfortable, but predictable. And I just couldn’t give up thrilling and unpredictable for an old pair of shoes.

  Parker’s eyes fluttered open and he looked at me. “Hannah?”

  “Yeah?”

  “Do you still want to go out with Lucas?”

  I swallowed, guilt washing over me. Had he read my mind? Or was I that transparent, that he could read my expression so easily? I broke his gaze. “Yeah.”

  “All right, then.”

  “All right, what?”

  He laid his hand over mine. “Then I’ll help you.”

  Chapter Twelve

  I clenched the steering wheel as I drove Parker to his house. “You sure you don’t want me to come in?” I glanced at him. He sat there, rigid, his leg bouncing.

  “No.”

  “Maybe I can help.”

  He gave me a flat look. “No, Hannah. I don’t want you coming in.”

  I could count the times I’d been inside Parker’s house on one hand. He hated that his house was so run down, and I think it embarrassed him that his mother was kind of a hoarder. Not like you’d see on TV or anything, where you can’t walk in the door, but she always had piles of things lying around.

  As I neared his street, I could see his mother standing in the yard. She wore what looked like an old ’50s house dress, a bottle of something in one hand. She was yelling at some kids across the street.

  Parker looked like he wanted to sink into the seat.

  I stopped the car and Parker hopped out. “Mom. Let’s go inside.” He tried to catch her arm but she moved away from him.

  “Them kids need to go!” she yelled. The children across the street just stared at her.

  “Mom.” Parker pointed toward the house. “Let’s rest for a while.”

  I could see he wasn’t going to get her inside the house. Not while those children were outside. She continued to yell at the kids.

  I climbed out of the car and approached the children. I pointed to the house they were in front of. “Is that your home?”

  The older girl nodded.

  “Can you take your little brother in and get him a drink of water? He looks thirsty.”

  She nodded again, took the little boy’s hand and tugged him inside. I turned around and crossed the street. Parker’s mom was already calming down. I approached her. “Hey, Mrs. Evans.” I always called her that, even though she’d never been married. That’s what Parker told me to call her.

  His mother pointed. “Did you see those kids?” Her words slurred a bit.

  “Yes, but they left. Let’s go inside now.” I took her hand, and she allowed me to lead her back into her house.

  Parker shoved his hands in his pockets and followed us in, a frown on his face, but he didn’t stop me. I led his mother to her easy chair. “Have a seat, Mrs. Evans.”

  “Thank you, dear.” She sat down and huffed. “Those kids…”

  “Forget about them, Mom,” Parker said, reclining her chair for her. “Lay back and rest.”

  I slid my hands in my back pockets as Parker helped his mother settle down. I couldn’t help but notice all the empty booze bottles sitting on the bookshelves and end tables. Parker was right. She had a problem.

  After she was settled down and almost asleep, I followed Parker into his room and sat down on an office chair. Parker sat on his bed and exhaled. “I can’t believe you came in my house when I told you not to.”

  I tried not to get mad at him. I knew he was under a tremendous amount of stress, but I couldn’t quite keep the edge out of my voice. “Seriously, Parker? You want me to leave?”

  He glanced around his small bedroom. “No.”

  “I could see you needed help.”

  “Yeah. Thanks for that. I wasn’t sure how I was going to get her inside.”

  “What usually happens when she’s like that?”

  He looked down at his hands. “She either settles down or someone calls the cops.”

  Oh, man. My stomach clenched. If that happened too often, he was going to get taken away from her for sure. “Does your mom have any family at all? Do you have grandparents? Aunts and uncles?” In all the time I’d known Parker, it had always been just him and his mom.

  “Yeah, I have an aunt, but she and Mom hate each other.”

  Well, it was a start. “Have you called her to tell her what’s been going on?”

  He scoffed. “No. I hardly know her.”

  “But maybe she could help.” A snoring sound came from the other room.

  Parker leaned forward and put his elbows on his knees, his head in his hands. “Maybe.”

  “Would you try to contact her?” I leaned forward and placed my hand on his shoulder. “For me?”

  He reached up and took my hand, then laced his fingers through mine. I liked how it felt. I was getting used to his touch making my skin tingle. “All right.”

  He lifted our hands in the air and made the office chair wheel close to him. He grinned at me. “You know, I’m not supposed to have any girls in my room.”

  “Really?” I suddenly felt flirtatious. “Why not?”

  “I think my mom doesn’t want me making out in here.”

  I leaned in. “She’s asleep. She’d never know.”

  A look flickered across his features, and his gaze dipped to my lips. He tried to hide a smile but was unsuccessful. “Probably.”

  My heart thudded as time seemed to slow. What was I doing? Was I really coaxing Parker to kiss me? The playful look on his face faded as we stared at each other, the tension mounting. His thumb grazed the skin on my hand, causing my heart to triple in speed.

  If I moved a fraction of an inch, our lips would touch. It was weird, but I kind of wanted him to kiss me, not because I’d told him to, but because he wanted to. Strange, I know. It was kind of like some game I was playing with myself. Trying to see how far I could push things. I held my breath, waiting to see if Parker would close the distance.

  “You’re giving me mixed signals, Hannah,” he said softly.

  I snapped out of my weird mood and pulled back from him. “What?”

  “I don’t know what you’re doing.”

  Embarrassed, I withdrew my hand from his. “I’m just joking around.” I stood and walked to his bedroom door. “Let’s go do something. It’s Friday night and I think your mom’s going to sleep it off now.”

  “Yes, you’re right.” He stood and joined me. “Where do you want to go?”

  Still feeling shame for how I’d flirted with him, I stepped away from him. “I heard there was a party tonight. Maybe Lucas will be there.”

  Parker’s expression hardened. “Hannah…I don’t really want to go to another party. Can we do something else?”

  A ball of guilt sank into my stomach. He’d been so accommodating
, doing what I wanted just so I could catch Lucas’s eye. I shouldn’t force him into another social situation. The last one didn’t go very well anyway. “Okay, let’s just go to the beach.”

  “Sounds good.”

  We didn’t say much to each other as I drove us to the public beach and parked my car. I pocketed my keys and we got out of the car. I slipped off my shoes and tossed them in the trunk. Parker did the same.

  I started toward the water. “So, tomorrow. The mall. You and me.”

  He groaned. “You’re seriously going to make me dress shop with you? Don’t you want to surprise me?”

  “No. I want you to help me pick a good one.” I bit my lower lip. I hadn’t yet told my father I would need a dress for the cupid’s dance. He would probably freak.

  Parker knew what I was thinking. “Is your dad going to like you spending money on a dress?”

  “No.” But I seriously didn’t have anything in my closet. I couldn’t just wear one that I had. The last time I’d bought a formal dress was in middle school.

  “I have an idea.”

  “What is it?”

  “We can try the thrift shop.”

  I made a face. “You mean, wear someone else’s clothes? Gross.”

  He folded his arms and glared at me. “You’re being a snob again. There’s nothing wrong with wearing clothes that aren’t brand new. They’ve been washed, you know.”

  “I know.” But I still hated the idea of shopping the thrift store.

  “Your own clothes aren’t new once you wear them once.”

  I rolled my eyes at him. “But they only had my sweat on them.”

  “What about that time you stole my sweater and wouldn’t give it back? You wore it all last winter.”

  I loved that sweater. It was super soft. “Yeah,” I said, smiling at him. “I did wear your sweater. But I know you. I know your sweat.”

  He gave me a smug look. “I bought that sweater at the thrift store.”

  I froze. “Seriously?”

  “Yes. And you didn’t care. You wore it anyway. Repeatedly.”