It was insane that after all this time—we’d been having steady sex for over two years now—he could still make me shiver merely by skimming his fingers over my skin, by the mere idea that he might touch my nipple.
My breath caught when his thumb brushed the waiting peak. I kept my eyes on the television screen, but it was getting harder and harder to concentrate on the show. And speaking of harder . . . I was all too aware of the thick ridge growing under my cheek.
I crept my hand up slowly until my fingers touched his cock. At the same time that I curled my hand around him, I turned my face so that my mouth covered his stiff erection through his shorts.
“Jesus Christ.” Eli breathed out the words on a half-groan. “Baby, that’s so good.”
“It’s about to get even better.” I reached for the elastic waistband of his athletic shorts and was just easing them down far enough to get to his cock when my phone began to ring.
“Oh, you’ve got to be kidding.” I let go of his shorts and struggled to sit up. “Babe, let me up. I need to answer that.”
“Let it ring.” Eli cupped my cheek. “It can wait.”
“No, it can’t.” An odd sense of foreboding made my heart beat harder. “That’s Gia’s ring. She wouldn’t call from Carolina unless it was an emergency.” I picked up my phone and answered it. “Hello? Gia?”
“Zelda?” She was breathing heavily, and I heard the thickness of sobs in her voice. In the background, a voice was speaking over an intercom. “I’m on my way home. I’m on the plane, actually, and it’s going to land in about an hour. Can you pick me up? Please?”
“Of course.” I paused. “Gia, are you okay? What happened?”
“I can’t go into it now. We’re about to take off and the flight attendants are glaring at me. I’ll tell you when I land.”
“Okay. I’ll be there, sweetie. Fly safe.”
Ending the call, I looked at Eli. “Something’s up. She’s been crying. I need to go to the airport and pick her up.”
Eli expression mirrored what I was feeling. “What the hell did that fucker do now?”
I stood up and went hunting for my shoes. “That’s the million-dollar question. I guess we’ll find out shortly.”
Several hours later, I crawled into bed, my eyes gritty and my body aching. Eli startled awake.
“Zel? That you, baby?”
I smiled a little. “If it isn’t, you have some explaining to do.”
“Hmmm.” He opened his arms and drew me toward him. “Are you all right? Did you get Gia?”
“Yeah, I picked her up and brought her home. I just got her to bed. Eli, she’s a fucking mess. Matt—he . . .” I swallowed over the same lump that had been in my throat for the last few hours. “He . . . had sex with her, but I have my doubts about whether or not it was consensual. Gia said she didn’t really try to stop him, but she also said he was high on something, and he fucked her without protection. And that part was not consensual.”
“Son of a bitch.” Eli dropped his forehead onto my shoulder. “What’s she going to do?”
“She said it’s over. She’s going to take a little time to recover, and then she’s going back down there and end it. For real this time.”
“Huh. Do you think it’s going to stick this time?”
I heaved a long sigh. “I think so. I think he broke her. I just hope she can get over this, one way or the other.”
Chapter Fourteen
Zelda
“Ms. Porter?” The woman who greeted me at the door of the small house wore jeans and T-shirt with a logo that proclaimed Food systems sustainability means life sustainability.
I liked her already.
“Thanks so much for seeing me, Mrs. Thorne. I know it was kind of short notice.” I clasped my hands behind my back.
“Oh, not at all.” She gestured me inside. “Frankly, we don’t often have such well-qualified candidates apply to work here. Non-profits may occupy the high moral ground, but places like The Food Jungle can’t begin to compete when it comes to salary and benefits packages—particularly with a starting position.”
“I understand.” I glanced around the kitchen where I stood. It was clearly a place of business, with computers and printers on a long table and file cabinets pushed along the wall under the windows. But at the same time, I suspected that it was also a working kitchen, considering the baskets of fruit and vegetables on the counter and loaves of bread on a huge wooden cutting board.
“Please, sit down.” Mrs. Thorne pointed to the long kitchen table. “I was very impressed by your resume. Tell me, what inspired you to study agriculture?”
I settled myself on the end of the bench that ran under the table’s edge. “I grew up on a large family farm in Lancaster. My grandparents do well—but they’ve had to make concessions and compromises over the years in order to remain competitive—and profitable. At the same time, I saw our neighbors in the Amish community operating their farms in the old ways—better for the food, better for the earth, but they weren’t necessarily looking to be competitive. I always thought there had to be a way to have both. So that’s why I’ve studied sustainable agriculture—and business.”
“Very interesting.” Mrs. Thorne nodded. “You understand, though, that our little company here is more involved in addressing the issues of food deserts in urban settings. We want to help those who don’t have access to healthy foods. While we do like to work with farmers, helping them with better methods of farming is a distant secondary goal behind feeding people.”
“Right. I do get that.” I hesitated. “The job description is a farm liaison, though, right?”
“It is.” She inclined her head. “But our liaison would be an advocate for those who need the food, not those who grow it.”
“Of course. But it seems to me that helping the farmers increase their yield would be an excellent way to make more food available.” I smiled, hoping I didn’t sound cocky. “As long as the liaison remembered for whom she was ultimately working.”
Mrs. Thorne sat still for the space of a few moments, studying me without comment. And then she smiled.
“I’m going to make some tea, Ms. Porter. And then we’ll talk more about this idea. Would you care to join me in cup of Earl Grey?”
“Please.” I grinned. “And call me Zelda.”
“. . . and by the time I left, Mrs. Thorne was almost as excited as I was. She has to get me approved by their board of directors and the regional supervisor, but she said she didn’t see it as a problem. Eli, I think I got a job!”
“Zel, that’s amazing.” Eli laced his fingers with mine as he leaned over the table at the student life café. “I’m so happy for you, babe. And proud of you, too.”
“Thanks.” I was fairly vibrating, I was so excited. And it had nothing to do with the coffee I was currently sipping. “How did your second interview go at Eatonboro?”
He gave a little shrug. “Fine. We’ll talk about it later. Now we’re celebrating your news.”
I rolled my eyes. “Don’t be silly. I want to hear about it. Why didn’t they make you an offer today?”
Eli smirked. “Who said they didn’t? Who said I’m not the new fifth grade teacher at Herbert Andrews Elementary School?”
“No fucking way!” I raised myself up until I could reach him over the table and kissed his lips, hard. “Now we have two things to celebrate.”
“We do.” He paused. “I was thinking maybe in a few weeks we could go look at apartments.”
“Sure.” I nodded, although uncertainty made my stomach churn a bit. Eli still hadn’t mentioned anything about what would happen with us after graduation. Of course, neither had I—and maybe I should have. Eli never wanted to push me. That was probably why he was holding back now.
At least, I hoped that was the case.
“I think we can start out with a one bedroom, don’t you think?” He cast his eyes up, as though he was thinking. “Neither of us will be making much to begin with, a
nd we’ll really only need the one bedroom.”
“Wait a minute.” I held up the hand that wasn’t linked with Eli’s. “Who’s we?”
Eli blinked. “You and me, of course. Who else would I want to live with?” His brows knit together. “You do want to live with me, don’t you?”
Relief and anticipation flooded over me. “Yeah. Yeah, I do. I didn’t know what you were planning, though, and I didn’t want to assume . . .”
“Zelda.” His eyes, steady on mine, were filled with sweet confidence and faith. “All of my plans, from now on, involve you. Just go ahead and assume it.”
“All right.” I squeezed his fingers. “Where do you want to look for an apartment? I’ll be working in the city, and you’ll be around here.” I paused to think for a minute. “But it’s more important for you to be near the school, so we should be in Eatonboro.”
“We can check around. We’ve got time.” Eli lifted my hand to his lips and planted a kiss on my palm. “But for now, I suggest we go back to my place . . . and celebrate the right way.”
And celebrate we did.
I didn’t know if it was the elation over both of us having jobs after graduation or excitement that we were going to be living together, but Eli kept me up almost all night. It was almost as though we’d just discovered each other again. We’d fall asleep in each other’s arms, hearts still pounding, breath coming in short gasps, and then an hour later, Eli would awaken and begin touching me, running his hands down my body. Or I would open my eyes and be overcome by the realization that I had a future with this incredible man next to me, and I couldn’t stop myself from touching him.
Either way, it was off to the races. Again.
That was why we were both still so deeply asleep early the next morning when the knocking came at Eli’s bedroom door.
“Make it stop,” Eli groaned, pulling his pillow over his head. “Make them go away. Pay any amount of money.”
I blinked in the shadows of the room, disoriented and confused. “Who’s knocking?”
“I dunno, babe, but one of us should find out.” Eli’s voice was still muffled by the pillow. “And I’m naked.”
“So am I.” But I rolled out of bed anyway, since it was clear I was going to be the more expedient choice for answering the door. I found my shorts on the floor and stepped into them, and then I pulled Eli’s shirt over my head. Whoever was on the other side of the door would just have to deal with my braless state. I snickered at that thought
But when I opened the door, the expression on Nate’s face wiped away all humor. His eyes were dark, and his expression was grim.
“Zelda, you need to get upstairs. Quinn just called me. She needs you up there.”
My forehead wrinkled in confusion as I tried to make sense of Nate’s words. “What happened? Is Quinn all right?”
He expelled a long, heavy sigh and leaned one hand against the wall. “Yeah, she’s okay—but Gia isn’t.” He paused, and I sensed he was trying to find the right way to say what came next. “Matt killed himself last night, Zelda. Leo just called. Or Gia called him. I’m not sure—but Quinn says she needs your help, now. She’s been trying to call you, but your phone kept going right to voicemail.”
“I didn’t plug it in last night because Eli and I—we . . .” I stopped taking. Nate didn’t need to know this. “Let me grab my shoes and I’ll go upstairs.”
I had the odd sense of moving through a fog as I closed the door again and clicked on the light. Eli had already lifted the pillow from his face and was raising his body to a sitting position. “Holy fuck, Zel. I can’t believe this.”
“Yeah, I know. I can’t—” I shook my head. “No, I guess I can. As much as I hate this for Gia, it feels like Matt’s natural conclusion. Maybe I always figured this is how he’d end up.”
“Really? I thought it might be jail.” Eli punched the pillow behind him, ostensibly to get it into a better position, but I could hear the anger he still carried for Matt.
“We have to be here for Gia. We can’t talk about what an asshole Matt was—because he’s gone now. But Gia’s still here, and I don’t want to lose her.” I found my other shoe and stepped into it. “I’m going up there now. Will you come over when you’re dressed? I don’t know if I can handle this by myself.”
“Of course. I’ll grab a shower and be there in a few. Text me if you need me to bring anything or . . .” Eli shrugged. “I don’t know what the hell I’m saying. If you need something, I guess.”
I picked up my phone, holding it out to Eli. “It’s dead. Can you plug it in for me? Just call Quinn if you need to get in touch with me before you come up.”
“Okay.”
For a few seconds, we just stared at each other, both of us still trying to make sense of an impossibly senseless situation. Then he opened his arms, and I fell against him, burying my face in the crook of his neck as I swallowed back tears.
“I hated him,” I half-sobbed. “I hated him so much, Eli. And sometimes I wished he was dead. But not like this. And I hurt for Gia. I can’t let her know how I feel. I can’t tell her about Matt now.”
“No, you can’t tell her now,” Eli agreed, rubbing my back. “But maybe someday she’ll need to hear it. This isn’t going to be easy for her to get past, Zel. But all we can do is walk with her. All we can do is make sure she’s not alone.”
For the next horrible week, that was what we all did.
I was sure Gia’s screams of pain and grief would echo in my head for the rest of my life. It was the most heart-rending sound I’d ever heard, and considering how Lottie had sometimes carried on throughout my childhood—that was saying something.
By the day of the funeral, she had stopped screaming. But she’d also stopped speaking, except for occasional hollow, one-word replies. When Quinn and I couldn’t calm her down that first day, we’d resorted to desperate measures and called her mother, who’d arrived with their family doctor. He’d given her a powerful sedative that had let her sleep, along with other meds to help her get through the next few days.
I was grateful for those pharmaceuticals, if only because they stopped the screaming, but they’d left Gia a zombie. She moved through those terrible days on autopilot, only moving when one of us physically guided her to the next place and only speaking when we forced her to respond. But as horrific as that was, I supposed allowing her to sleepwalk through that time was a great act of kindness.
On the morning of the funeral, Quinn and I both helped Gia to shower, chose her black dress and helped her into it. I brushed her hair, and Quinn applied some balm to our friend’s cracked and sore lips. She’d been biting them in her sleep, I realized.
“I’m going to drive my car around to the front of the building.” I picked up my keys. “Eli’s waiting for me there. Can you handle getting Gia downstairs?”
“I think so.” She brushed her hair back out of her eyes. “If I have a problem, I’ll text you.”
“Okay.”
Eli was in the lobby, just inside the doors that led outside. He extended his hand toward me as I approached, and I let him tug me close until I fell onto his lap. There was nothing sexy about the move this time, though. Right now, everything was about us comforting each other.
“You look good.” He kissed my cheek. “I mean, for a funeral. How’s Gia doing?”
“Same.” I rested my forehead on his shoulder. “She’s checked out, and that’s okay. Quinn’s the one who worries me most right now. She’s been a wreck all week, but it got worse after she saw Leo the other day. Today isn’t going to be easy for her, on many levels.”
“Maybe it’s a good thing that Nate can’t go to the funeral,” Eli mused. “Not that being immunocompromised is ever good, but I think it would harder for Quinn to have both of them there.” He sighed and squeezed my hand. “When did it happen that all of our friends ended up with fucked up lives, and you and I are the mostly normal ones?”
I smiled and shook my head. “No idea, babe. Bu
t I do know one thing.” I framed his face in my two hands. “Seeing what Gia’s been going through—and Quinn, too, for that matter—I realize that I don’t ever want to be without you. I know it took me a long time to get to a place where I could say this, Eli—but I need you. Please don’t leave me. Please don’t do anything stupid like dying on me.”
“Ah, babe.” His voice was thick with emotion as he nudged up my chin with his fingers. “As long as it’s within my power, I’m never going anywhere. You’re stuck with me.” His kiss was gentle but filled with all the words neither of us had said.
“Is that a promise?” I murmured against his lips.
“Promise.”
Chapter Fifteen
Zelda
When I was a little girl, I always wanted to be grown up. That’s not unusual; most kids can’t wait to be able do things like drive, live on their own or choose their own bedtime. It’s all fun and games until real adulting comes along.
By the time we’d made it through college graduation and the months that followed right after, I’d come to the conclusion that being grown up wasn’t everything I’d dreamed it would be. As a matter of fact, much of it sucked.
Of course, most people just launching out from college didn’t have to handle what my small group of friends did. We’d survived the numb pain of Matt’s funeral and watched Gia begin the slow process of recovery in the aftermath of his suicide. We’d gotten through graduation, even though the future was so murky and uncertain for Quinn, Nate and Gia. And we’d even pasted on phony smiles and managed to fake our way through the shit-show that had been Quinn and Nate’s wedding.
The hardest part of that weekend for me had been watching Leo’s face as the woman he loved married their dying best friend. I could only imagine the agony of that. I knew he was furious with Nate and at the same time frustrated, because it’s hard to work up a good mad against a man who’s going to die before he hits twenty-three.
Next Man Up (Making the Score Football Romance Book 2) Page 23
