She arched a brow again, jotting down something on her notepad. “Well Ryder, as a professional, it is my job to tell you that that isn’t quite true. I am able to sense your emotions remember?”
“How could I forget?” I said dryly. “Next topic. I’m done talking about her.”
She nodded in agreement and the tension ran out of my shoulders. Blood was oozing between my fingers though I couldn’t even remember making the cut.
Nightshade handed me a tissue, dropping it onto my knee where I proceeded to firmly ignore its existence.
“I’d like to delve a little deeper into your motivations behind your affair with Professor King. I have some theories I’d like to discuss with you and I need you to keep an open mind and let your emotions flow as naturally as possibly so I can get a sense of whether my assumptions are true or not.”
She liked to play this game with me. It meant I didn’t have to say much, which suited me just fine while she got a fun little look under the hood of my mind.
“Remember, if my suggestion is outrageous to you, you are not to react violently toward me. This is a simple exercise.”
I nodded curtly. She was still wary since the time I’d lunged at her for asking whether my mother had been a junkie.
Nightshade uncrossed her legs, placing the clipboard flat down on her thighs. “As we’ve established, Professor King fulfilled a need for you, allowing you to indulge in your masochistic and sadistic desires while in return she received pleasure in the form of sexual gratification and you as a blood Source.”
I gave Nightshade a blank look, not responding to the labels she would have loved to staple to my forehead.
“So here are my theories as to why you have this need based on the conversations we’ve shared here during the past year…” She cleared her throat. “At a very young age you were exposed to the trauma of losing your mother.”
My gut pinched and I tried not to let her feel that, but I knew she did.
“Though your father sheltered you from gang life up until her death, afterwards you began to witness more and more bloodshed even before your tenth birthday. Your father quickly became the only constant in your life. You shared your home with several gang members, witnessing both sexual and violent acts on multiple occasions.”
I fought an eye roll as she summarised my childhood, stuffing it into a nice little box wrapped up with a ribbon. She felt my disdain and quickly hurried on.
“The cataclysmic moment for you occurred when your father was brutally murdered by the Oscura Clan and you ended up in the hands of Mariella Oscura for thirteen months. At the sensitive age of fifteen, you were susceptible to Coercion and in a fragile state due to the loss of your father.”
“Fourteen months,” I corrected sharply. Or more specifically four hundred and twenty six days.
She nodded, taking a breath and twitching a sympathetic smile at me. Anger twisted my organs and a deep rattle emanated from within my body.
She swiftly hurried on. “During your captivity with Mariella, you were subjected to torture which warped your view of pain. As she began to reward you for enduring longer and longer bouts of suffering, you became hardwired to start anticipating the release at the end of the torture.”
My heart hit a frantic beat and I tried not to react as she continued to summarise my life like it was so simple. So fucking transparent.
“As you spent more time enjoying the rewards she gave you, from free time, to books, food and your own gym to work off your frustration, the lifestyle she’d created for you became your new normal. As you weren’t yet Awakened or Emerged, you had no magic or Order to fight her off and therefore eventually fell into the role of her slave. Which was precisely where she wanted you. But, as is fairly obvious nowadays, you are not naturally submissive, so what she had created instead was a ticking time bomb.”
I realised my right fist was crushed around the razor blade and blood was spilling onto my knees, the kiss of pain giving me some relief while emotions warred inside me.
“When Mariella’s rewards became sexual-”
“Enough,” I snapped, my breathing heavy, my chest tight. I couldn’t go back there. I wouldn’t. Nightshade had made me relive it too many times and now she was pouring it all over me like a vat of acid. And I was done.
I rose to my feet and her eyes lit up as she drank in the emotions flowing out of my body and into hers. I placed a mental shield between us but she already had a grip on me. Triumph gleamed in her eyes like she’d worked me out at last. Like she knew everything there was to know about me. And she had to say it. She just had to fucking say it, didn’t she?
“Which is why you live between the boundaries of pleasure and pain, and why your relationship with Professor King was so fulfilling to you. But Ryder-”
“Stop!” I bellowed, blood dripping onto the carpet between us.
She rose to her feet, her gaze bright. “You are finally starting to move beyond the trap of those boundaries and I think it’s because of-”
Magic crashed through my flesh and vines knocked Nightshade back into her seat, one wrapping tightly around her throat.
I pointed down at her with fury bubbling and spitting under my flesh. “There is no beyond,” I snarled, hellfire raging through my body like an inferno. “Not for me.”
She choked, raising a hand to fight me, but I severed the vine anyway, marching from the room and slamming the door behind me, making the walls shudder.
The blood was already drying against my right palm now I’d healed it and I shoved the blade into my pocket, needing more than my own pain. I needed someone else’s.
I headed back to The Vega Dormitories in the hopes of finding some Oscuras straying into my path to sate this desperate need in me. But I had no such luck.
I shoved my way inside, finding Bryce walking down the stairs, cocking a brow when he spotted me.
“Guess you’ve seen it then?” he said with a dark scowl. “I told you that bitch was an Oscura whore.”
“What?” I growled as he halted before me, pushing a hand into his messy black hair.
“The video on FaeBook with Callisto and Inferno.” Bryce frowned and venom dripped through my veins.
“What fucking video?” I demanded in a deadly hiss and he quickly produced his Atlas, tapping on the screen before holding it under my nose as it played.
Elise was dancing between the fucking Lion King and Inferno, her body grinding into theirs. When Dante caught her chin and pressed his lips to hers, a switch flipped in my head. She pawed at him, leaning into his kiss and my shoulders began to shake. I was frozen in place, feeling like a gun was placed firmly to my temple with Elise’s finger on the trigger.
Bryce tucked his Atlas back away. “You alright, boss?”
I remained silent, my teeth grinding to dust as a toxic rage took hold of me. “Contact the Eyes,” I spat. “Get me both of their locations. Now.”
Bryce quickly started tapping out messages on his Atlas while I turned and threw my left fist into the wall, splitting apart the word lust. Because fuck lust. Fuck it. And fuck her.
“Boss er…” Bryce gave me a wary look. “Jake’s already got eyes on Inferno and he…well he’s with Callisto.”
“Perfect,” I growled, my rage cooling to a dangerous kind of calm.
“I’ve sent you the location. Do you want backup?” Bryce asked as my Atlas buzzed in my pocket.
“No. I need to do this alone.” I took out my Atlas, heading back outside and finding their location pinned on my campus map. They were down by Tempest Lake. Which was ideal for what I was going to do. I had a promise to fulfil anyway. And it was time it was done.
I headed north, crossing campus, passing through the Empyrean Fields and slipping into the boughs of The Iron Wood. The icy calm I felt always preceded a kill. My split knuckles throbbed and I drew strength from the pain, letting it fill me up until nothing else existed inside me but power.
I am strong, unstoppable. And I am not a
ny woman’s plaything.
I made it to the edge of the forest where it met the rocky shoreline of Lake Tempest. I remained within the trees, willing my heart to slow to the barely perceptible thump of my Order form so Elise wouldn’t hear me coming. With silent footsteps, I moved toward the sound of their voices, a predator stalking its prey.
Elise’s laughter strummed against my ears as I halted close by, pressing my shoulder to the bough of a huge tree as I peered down at the beach.
They sat side by side, their backs to me, their hands locked together.
I let two vines grow from my palm, sliding down to the ground and slithering out onto the beach, one behind Elise, the other behind Dante. Every drop of my magic poured into them. I’d need it all to immobilise them both. But I was catching them unaware. So I was fucking capable of it.
With a flick of my wrist, I sent the vines spiralling toward them. Elise screamed as they were thrown away from each other, the vines growing and wrapping around them at speed. I pinned Elise against a tree while Inferno was held on the ground. I sped from the forest, racing toward my victim with a roar of rage.
My fist hit Dante’s face so hard, the pain of it spiked right back up into my body. I held him down while he writhed against the bonds, his eyes wide with shock.
“Ryder!” Elise screamed, but I ignored her, cracking Inferno’s head back against the rocks.
“Fuck!” He thrashed hard, managing to get a hand free and I braced as air magic tore the vines to shreds and threw me from him. My back collided with the stones and my magic reserves soaked up the shot of pain.
I leapt to my feet, running at him again as a storm built around us. Lightning struck the water to my right and I knew I only had seconds until he cast it more accurately. I took out his legs with a vine and launched myself on top of him.
Lightning sent a flare of heat up my back as it hit the spot I’d just been in. The ground exploded behind me. Stones crashed into my back and the bruising sent another hungry wave of power through my body.
My hands locked around Dante’s throat as a powerful wind battered me. I wrapped vines around us, binding him to me so he couldn’t throw me off. We rolled and his head collided with the bridge of my nose as he landed on top of me. A snap filled the air and Elise cried out for us to stop once more.
“You’re dead,” I promised through bared teeth, crushing his neck tighter. He stole the air from my lungs, but I’d outlast him. I’d trained to hold my breath for several minutes. He’d choke before I passed out. I was prepared for every eventuality.
The sound of the world faded away as my fingers tightened and Dante remained stubbornly in place above me, my lungs compressing as he squeezed every last drop of air out of me.
Elise appeared, dragging Dante off of me with her Vampire strength and breaking the vines which bound us. I jerked upwards in fury, lunging after him as darkness curtained my vision.
Elise slapped Dante hard enough to break the power of his magic and I coughed heavily as air flowed back into my lungs and the sound of her voice found me through the thickening atmosphere.
I rose to my feet, blood pouring over my mouth from my broken nose as I strode forward to get to Inferno. Thunder crashed above as he snarled at me, his eyes flashing with the reptilian slits of his Dragon form. I’d relish a fight as beasts.
Elise planted one hand on my chest and the other on Dante’s.
“ENOUGH!” she commanded and the numbness washing over me peeled back, allowing me to focus on her for a second.
Her impassioned gaze found mine and I wondered if any of the emotions I found there other than rage belonged to me.
Dante bristled then fell as still as me, his jaw growing redder by the second from the hit I’d landed on him.
“You kissed him,” I spat at Elise. “Maybe it should be your neck I wanna break.” My heart returned to a normal pace and I tried not to feel anything toward those callous words as they spilled from my tongue.
“It meant nothing,” she snarled and Dante’s jaw ticked, but he didn’t respond.
“Liar,” I hissed.
She moved forward in a blur, her hand cupping my jaw and her mouth suddenly pressing against mine. I tasted the whole world on her lips before she pulled away just as fast, her eyes dark and wide with some emotion I couldn’t even begin to comprehend.
“Like that meant nothing,” she whispered, but it was loud enough for Dante to hear as he folded his arms, glaring at us. Her mouth was tainted red from my blood and as she realised it, she raised a hand to heal my broken nose, her brows knitting together as the soothing flow of her magic slid under my skin.
Nothing sure tasted a lot like everything. It was one pathetic, no-tongues kiss but I had sure as fuck been altered by that interaction. I moved back a step, turning away from those endless eyes which were capable of biting chunks off of my soul. I was nothing to her. Like Dante was nothing to her. And so long as we were the same, that knowledge was worth suffering through.
“Come on, carina, let’s go. And if you ever fucking attack me again, Ryder, I’ll retaliate with the full force of my Clan.”
I ignored him, waiting for her to go with him, wondering if she’d lied about her feelings for Inferno and was about to prove it.
Elise’s hand caught mine and she tugged to turn me around. I found her other hand wrapped around Inferno’s and nearly recoiled from the connection her body made between us. But it felt too good to have her skin against mine and it suddenly felt easier to breathe.
“I can’t keep going through this,” she said seriously, looking between us. “I’m never going to choose between you two.”
I remained silent, keeping my gaze on her face while Dante shifted closer to her in my periphery.
“So this is how it’s gonna be,” she said firmly. “I’ll be friends with both of you.”
“Friends can be construed whatever fucking way you want,” I growled and her hand tightened around mine as if she sensed I was about to pull away.
“I know. Which means we’ll need some rules,” she said and my gaze drifted to Inferno.
His jaw was set and he nodded in agreement, meaning I immediately nodded mine too, because fuck, I was so done not having Elise in my life. And if this was the only way, then hell if I was gonna relinquish her to Dante Oscura.
“No more kissing,” Dante said and I nodded easily. I did not want her mouth anywhere fucking near Inferno’s ever again.
“No fucking either,” I added, glaring at him as I could see his conniving little mind coming up with loopholes.
“Fine. No blowjobs or handjobs,” he said, cocking a brow at me with a smirk.
“No touching Elise beneath her underwear,” I growled and Dante’s eyes lit up with the challenge of this game while Elise looked between us in confusion.
“No hurting Elise for pleasure,” Dante said, his smile widening and I ground my jaw.
“No overnight bed sharing,” I spat back.
“Guys-” Elise started, but Dante cut over her.
“And no jerking off over her while she’s in the same room.”
“Done,” I agreed, snatching my hand out of Elise’s and holding it out to him. His palm crashed into my mine and magic snapped between us as the deal was struck. I’d know if he broke it and he’d know if I did too. And not only that, the stars would punish us for weeks in the form of bad luck if we fucked it.
We both looked to Elise, her lips parted in surprise and her eyes flipping between us.
“Are you still my Sources?”
“Yes,” we replied instantly and I took a measured step away from Dante in irritation.
“And you’re both happy with the deal you just made?” She frowned, glancing between us.
Dante was grinning, nodding firmly as if he’d won by keeping me off of Elise. But it was me who’d fucking won something here today.
Although, as I thought about that brief mind-blowing, star-shitting kiss she’d given me, I realised I’d just sc
rewed myself over too. I’d never get another kiss like that again, let alone any airtime with her naked body.
Dante’s smile withered away as he realised it too and he shared a look with me as his eyes widened.
“Dammit,” he hissed under his breath and for once, I had to fucking agree with him.
Thirteen Months Before the Solarid Meteor Shower…
I walked beneath the trees in The Iron Wood in my Order form with Cindy Lou at my side in hers. As a Centaur, she had the body of a horse like me in my Pegasus form, but the top half of her body retained her Fae form. And she didn’t have wings. Not to boast.
“You wanna see if you can run as fast as me?” Cindy teased, looking my way.
Of course with my horse head, I couldn’t reply with words but I snorted my agreement enthusiastically and she laughed, stomping her front hoof in a clear challenge.
She wore a pink bikini top to cover her breasts but the rest of her ivory skin was bare and I couldn’t help but keep looking at her as we walked. We were deep into The Iron Wood now and I had a bag tied to my back containing our clothes and a picnic for when we decided to stop.
“There’s a clearing at the end of this track. First one there wins,” she said, her eyes glinting with the game.
I whinnied excitedly, tucking my black wings tight to my back as I prepared to run.
“Three, two, one-” Cindy whipped her bikini top off and tossed it into my face, giving me an eyeful of her pert nipples before she laughed and sprang away from me.
I shook my head to clear it, leaping after her and driving myself into a gallop. My hooves thundered across the hard packed mud beneath me, leaves whipping up around my legs as I disturbed them.
Cindy was fast, her dappled legs pounding a fierce beat against the ground ahead as she fought to maintain her lead. But I was a lot bigger than her, my legs longer and muscles thicker.
I neighed excitedly as I drew level with her, my wings twitching with the urge to take flight. I kept them locked tight instead, keeping to the ground so that our race remained fair and urging my feet to move ever faster.
The clearing was bright up ahead and I set my gaze on it as I took the lead, my chest heaving, nostrils flaring and sweat gleaming wetly on my coat as I gave it my all.
Savage Fae (Ruthless Boys of the Zodiac Book 2) Page 15
