Sweet Dandelion

by Micalea Smeltzer

  A deep chuckle rumbles in his throat. “I’m really here.”

  “You left me,” I accuse, lower lip trembling.

  He wipes my tears away with his thumbs. “I had to, Dani. I’m so fucking sorry.”

  I sniffle. “I know, but you could’ve told me.”

  He shakes his head, his eyes somehow sad and happy at the same time. “I wouldn’t have been able to leave you if you asked me to stay, and you would have.”

  I look away, more tears forming. “You broke my heart.”

  “I didn’t want to.” He cups my cheek in one hand, pressing our foreheads together. “God, Dani, leaving you was the hardest thing I’ve ever done. But I knew I needed to give you room to grow. I was holding you together, but I wasn’t solving the problem. I had to let you do it on your own.”

  “What if this year hasn’t been enough? What if I’m still too broken?”

  “I have faith in you, and if you still need time then I’ll go away. But I’ll be waiting until you’re ready. And if you’re never ready for me, or if you want someone else, like your friend, then that’s okay too. I want what’s best for you. I can’t be selfish, not when your happiness means more to me than anything else.” A shadow falls over his face. His thumb rubs in soothing circles against my cheek. “And if you’ve already moved on—”

  “I haven’t.” I shake my head roughly. “That last text I sent you … it was because I was mad. I didn’t even think you were reading them and if you were I wanted to make you jealous. Ansel and I … nothing ever happened.”

  “It’s okay if it did.”

  “It didn’t,” I say, more for my benefit than his. “I … I wanted to feel something for him, but you can’t force love, and a connection like ours…”

  “It’s once in a lifetime,” he finishes for me, and then, blessedly, his lips are on mine.

  My body melts into his, aching for his touch. We kiss like it’s the first and last time. It’s the kind of kiss everyone dreams of getting but doesn’t seem to happen in real life, only the movies.

  His fingers tangle in my hair, gripping the back of my neck as he holds me to him. My hands tremble where I grasp his face, kissing him with all the love that was absent from me without him.

  His mouth leaves mine, and he stares down at me, his lips now slightly swollen and pinker than normal. “I love you, Dandelion Meadows. I wasn’t expecting you. I sure as hell wasn’t searching for you. But then there you were, standing in the doorway of my office with your wary eyes, and something about you spoke to me. The more you talked, the more I got to know you, and I found myself saying to myself this girl is mine.”

  “And you’re mine,” I nearly growl the last part, pulling his face back to mine because I need to feel his lips.

  Our mouths move together in sync, anticipating one another with ease.

  I should probably be embarrassed that we’re making out like two horny teenagers in front of the Seattle Space Needle, but I can’t bring myself to care.

  I pull away from him suddenly with a gasp.

  “W-What is it?” he stutters, blue eyes glazed with lust.

  “You’re loving me in the light.”

  He looks around, the sun glowing around us, strangers passing by and grins, his lips pulling up more on one corner.

  “Well, would you look at that.”

  Then, he kisses me again, and I know without a doubt that we’ll never have to hide in the dark again.

  Chapter Eighty-Three

  After I force Lachlan to take a selfie with me, our first photo together as a couple, he leads me to a diner down the block. Inside, we grab a booth. I’m hardly hungry, but I know we need to catch up. There’s so much to say, but there are no words on my tongue. I want to stare at him, study the minute details that have changed in our time apart.

  A waitress comes over and Lachlan asks for two coffees to start.

  He laces his fingers together, looking across at me the same way I can’t help but stare at him.

  I break the silence first. “When did you figure out about the Space Needle?”

  I never told him about discovering myself in the photo in his office, but we wouldn’t be here right now if he hadn’t noticed it too.

  “The same day you did. When I came into my office you were looking at the photo and you seemed as if you’d seen a ghost. Your skin was pale, almost clammy. When I looked at the photo I didn’t notice it at first and put it away, but when you left for class, I sat there studying it. It was hard to make out your details, but I could tell it was you. I couldn’t believe it, to be honest.” He removes his hat from his head, scratching at his scalp. “It’s crazy, isn’t it? All those years ago and here we are now?”

  “It’s surreal.”

  I smile when the waitress sets down our coffees, promptly pouring a mountain of sugar and creamer in mine.

  Tapping my fingers against the white ceramic mug, I say, “I think you should know, those texts I sent saying I hated you … I never actually felt that way.”

  “It would be okay if you did. You didn’t have to turn up today.” He flicks his fingers lazily, acting very blasé but I can see through him, that he was terrified of what it would mean if I didn’t.

  “I threw your letter away,” I admit, feeling a bit foolish. “Ansel found it and read it after I tossed it while we were in Paris. He gave it back to me before I got on the plane to return home. It reaffirmed for me the reasons I was coming back.” Shaking my head, a small laugh leaves me. “I can’t believe I took that letter with me, to all those different countries. I don’t know why but I couldn’t leave it at Sage’s. My therapist would probably say something cheesy about how it was all I had left of you and I needed it close.”

  “I’m sorry I had to leave you.” He places his hand over mine on the table. “You’re seeing a therapist, though?”

  “Yeah, she’s great. It was tough in the beginning but it’s been easier to open up to her than I expected. It’s helping a lot.” I tuck a piece of hair behind my ear, suddenly feeling nervous. I still don’t like to talk about my therapy and I hate that I feel some kind of shame for it, because there’s nothing to be ashamed of when it comes to getting the help you desperately need. “I’m driving again, got my own place too.” He grins at that news. “Oh, and I have a cat. Wanna see?”

  Before he can answer I pull my phone out and show him a picture of Tally.

  “She’s adorable.” His smile lights up his whole face.

  “Think Zeppelin would get along with her?”

  “He’d love her.”

  “Wait, are you living in Seattle now?”

  The thought suddenly occurs to me that he might’ve moved here.

  He shakes his head. “I’m still in Utah, just outside the city. I bought a house there, it’s small but it’s home. What about you?”

  “I’m renting an apartment in the city near the university.”

  “Are you taking classes?” He arches a brow, looking pleased.

  “I start in the fall.”

  “Have you decided what you want to do?”

  I wipe up some drops of coffee with my napkin. “I think I’m going to go into Marketing. I’m not sure if I’ll stick with it, but right now it seems like something I’d enjoy.” Clearing my throat, I ask, “Where are you working now?”

  “At a youth center. I do counseling there and I also coach the basketball team.”

  A smile bursts free of me. “That’s amazing, Lachlan. I’m so happy for you.”

  The waitress stops by again. “Is there anything else I can get you guys?”

  “Do you have any cake?” Lachlan asks.

  She smiles. “Yes, we do. It’s freshly made. Chocolate cake with fudge icing.”

  “We’ll have two slices, please.” She starts to walk away but he calls after her. She pauses, turning around. “You wouldn’t happen to have two candles would you?”

  “Oh, someone’s birthday?” She smiles pleasantly, looking between us.
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  “Both of ours.”

  “You have the same birthday? That’s neat. I’ll see if I can find any.” She turns, heading back to the kitchen.

  Tapping my fingers on the table, he watches the gesture, no doubt picking up on how nervous I am. It’s beyond dumb. This man has had his mouth on my vagina for God’s sake.

  Although, maybe that is why I’m so nervous. He knows me in the most intimate ways, not just my body, but the inner workings of my mind.

  “Thinking about something?” he prompts.

  “It’s … where do things go from here with us? What are we? A couple?”

  He leans back in the booth, appraising me. “We’re whatever you want us to be. We can take things slowly.” Leaning forward, he rests his arms on the table. “I’ve waited this long, I can wait some more for us to figure it out.”

  “That sounds good to me.”

  The waitress sets down our pieces of cake, a single candle in each, and lights them. “Happy birthday, guys. I’d sing but you don’t want that.”

  “Make a wish.”

  I look across at him with a mischievous grin. “Don’t tell me what to do, old man.”

  He groans, closing his eyes. “Don’t remind me.”

  “You’re thirty-one, and I think that’s hot. Makes you distinguished.”

  He chuckles. “Whatever you say.”

  We both close our eyes, blowing out the candles. I don’t make a wish, not when I can safely say I’m happy and there’s not anything else I could possibly want. I’m healthy, I’m thriving, my brother’s in a good place, and the love of my life is sitting across from me.

  Opening my eyes, I meet the ones shining across from me. “When we get back to Utah can I take you on a date? A real date?”

  My breath catches. “I’d like that.”

  I try to act cool, but there’s a part of me screaming on the inside that Lachlan asked me to go on an actual date with him.

  “Will I need to dress up on this date?” I ask, taking a bite of cake. I nearly moan. It’s one of the best cakes I’ve ever tasted.

  “Do you want to get dressed up?” I nod. Call it cliché, but I want to spend hours doing my hair and makeup, picking out a dress, the whole shebang. “Then definitely.”

  “You know,” I fight a smile, looking at my slice of cake, “I promised you last year that I’d make you a cake for your birthday. Sorry that plan fell through.”

  “Well, we always have next year.” He says it with such confidence that it fills my whole body with joy at the prospect of all the things to come.

  “When are you flying back to Salt Lake?” I wipe some icing from the corner of my mouth and lick it off my finger. Lachlan’s eyes dilate as he watches.

  “Tomorrow.”

  “Me too. Where are you staying? I haven’t booked anything yet.”

  “A hotel near the wharf.” He finishes his slice of cake, pushing the now empty plate away.

  “Can I stay with you?” I hedge. “Or you know, it’s okay if you don’t want that. Never mind, I can get my own hotel room. Don’t mind me.”

  “Dani,” Lachlan says with a laugh, trying to quiet me, “of course you can stay with me.”

  I blow out a breath. “Thank you.”

  With our cake gone, Lachlan pays and takes my hand, leading me out onto the Seattle streets.

  “Let me show you the city, beautiful.”

  I can’t stop my smile, my hand tightening around his.

  Best. Birthday. Ever.

  After spending our day cruising around Seattle, seeing as much as we possibly can, we don’t get back to the hotel until after dark.

  Lachlan insists I shower first, so I shut myself in the bathroom, shrugging off my backpack. Standing in front of the lighted mirror, I smile.

  I’m in Seattle.

  With Lachlan.

  Today was better than I could’ve imagined. This morning when I got off the plane I wasn’t sure what would happen, or even what to expect. Being with Lachlan is easy. It’s like we’ve known each other our whole lives. We laughed, talked, and teased each other. I also stuffed myself with way too many sweets today.

  Trying to force myself to stop smiling, I grab the hotel provided shampoo, conditioner, and body wash so I can clean up.

  When I’ve showered I change into the tank top and shorts I packed for sleeping. It’s ridiculous how nervous I feel stepping out of the bathroom. It’s not like I’m in my underwear, or naked, and Lachlan’s seen me both ways anyway.

  I find Lachlan sitting on the end of the king size bed, texting on his phone.

  He looks up when he hears me, his eyes scanning me from my toes—painted a green shade called Shake Your $ Maker—all the way up until his blue eyes meet my hazel ones.

  “Feeling any guilt about being here with me?” I try to make my question sound light, but I need to know his answer. I know there’s no hope for us moving forward if he’s always going to feel guilty for his feelings.

  He shakes his head. “Come here.” He crooks a finger.

  I do as he says, standing between his spread legs. He places his hands on my hips, fingers splaying until they’re on my ass.

  “We didn’t have appropriate beginnings, but the feelings were real, and despite it all I wouldn’t change a thing as long as it means at the end of the day I get to love you.”

  “Lachlan.” Damn him, he’s going to make me cry again.

  Even though he’s sitting, we’re nearly the same height and he cups my cheek in one hand.

  “I’m yours as long as you’ll have me.”

  I place my hands on his shoulders. “And if I want you forever?”

  A slow smile lifts his lips. “Then I’d say that sounds pretty perfect.”

  I lean in, kissing him. I don’t ever want to stop kissing him. I want the world to know this man is mine, that our love is undeniable.

  “I love you,” I murmur between our pressed lips.

  He hums low in his throat. “I love you, too.”

  Pulling away, I admit with a sigh, “I need to call my brother.”

  Lachlan groans, biting his lip. “Does he know?”

  I nod. “He figured it out after you left.”

  Lachlan stands, a sigh billowing from his chest. “Bet he wants to kill me.”

  “He used to.” There’s no sense in sugarcoating it. “But I think he’s coming around.” Lachlan gives me a look that says yeah right. “We’ve talked about it a lot the last couple of weeks, and I’m not saying he approves of you but … he understands. He knows I love you and that I choose you and that’s all that matters.”

  “That simple, huh?” His lips threaten to tug into a crooked grin.

  I fiddle with the edge of a pillowcase beside the bed. “Why complicate it when you don’t have to?”

  “That’s smart. You’re … you’re different, and I mean that in a good way.”

  I smile at the love of my life. “I’m trying. One day at a time. One step. One moment. The past doesn’t have to be an anchor, it can be your wings.”

  “Fuck, you’re killing me,” he growls, crossing the few feet separating us. His fingers dive into my hair and then his lips are on mine once more. He pulls away quickly. “I need to go shower before I do something stupid.”

  “Something stupid?” I repeat, slightly offended.

  He rubs his jaw. “I mean … I want to do this right with you. I want to take my time. I don’t want to rush you into anything. Besides, I owe you a real date first.”

  I laugh softly, shaking my head. “I think it’s a bit late for that.”

  He points a finger at me with a playful smile. “You have a point, but I’m not touching you. Not tonight.”

  I pout. “You suck.”

  He backs toward the bathroom. “Again, not tonight.”

  My jaw drops and I grab one of the pillows, throwing it at him.

  His laughter booms in the room as he dodges it.

  It’s so easy between us, like no time at
all has passed, only this time we’re able to be free.

  “Go shower, you smell like you’re full of shit.”

  He laughs again, closing the bathroom door.

  While he’s showering I turn back the bed and then call my brother.

  “So, are you mooning over the Lach-ness Monster?” he asks as soon as he answers.

  “Sage,” I admonish, trying not to laugh.

  “It’s a valid question, Weed.”

  “I guess, technically yes.”

  “You’re going to marry this guy one day and force me to like him aren’t you?”

  “Eventually … yes.”

  “Fuck.”

  “Get over it, Herb. You’re boinking my eighteen-year-old friend.”

  He fake gags. “Never, ever, say the word boink again.”

  “Whatever you say.”

  “When do I get to meet Nessie in person?”

  “Sage.” I cover my mouth to hold in my laughter. “Um … I’m not sure, but we’ll plan something soon, okay?”

  “Mhmm,” he hums. “Tell Lach-ness I’ll be preparing a list of questions.”

  “You do that.”

  “I love you, D. Be careful, okay?”

  “I will. I love you, too. I’ll let you know when I get on the plane tomorrow.”

  After a few more words we hang up.

  The bathroom door opens, and I look up in time to see Lachlan step out in only a towel. The white cotton looks like a small puff of air would send it falling from his lean frame.

  “Forgot my pants.”

  “I bet you did,” I grumble and he chuckles, grabbing a pair of sleep pants and disappearing into the bathroom again.

  I pout to myself, disappointed I’ll be missing the strip show.

  Plugging my phone in to charge, I climb into bed.

  The bathroom door squeaks and Lachlan emerges, his large shoulders nearly touching the doorframe. My mouth waters at the sight of his bare chest. I’m pathetic, I know, but it’s been way too long since I had my eyes on him.

  Lachlan gets into bed beside me, reaching over to flick off the light.

  Rolling onto his side to face me in the now dark room, he says, “Are you going to stay all the way over there?”

  I don’t have to be told twice.