Nice Day For A White Wedding

by Le Carre, Georgia

  I stare at her curiously. The more I learn about Babushka, the more fascinating she becomes. She is most definitely the matriarch of the family. They all respect her and do what she wishes, but she is so much more than that. She’s clever, and even now I imagine pulling the wool over her eyes would be damned hard. Unless of course it’s something she wants to believe. Like how her favorite nephew has found love. I feel another surge of guilt run through me, but as always, I remind myself I’m here to make an old woman very happy, to maybe give her her final wish.

  “You must love this house very much,” I say softly.

  “I do. There was only once when I wanted to leave it. When my husband died. Then I wanted to die too. For years I grieved, wearing only black and walking all those empty corridors. I thought he would come back. Even just once. I thought he couldn’t leave me just like that. I waited for the sound of footsteps, his laughter, an apparition. Anything. But he never did. Then one day I cast aside my black garments and I moved on. I never remarried or anything, and the house became my, well my obsession. I think certain family members were a little disappointed when I rallied and they realized they’d have to wait for me to die to get their hands on the house and my money.”

  “Oh, I’m sure that’s not true,” I gasp.

  Babushka gives a wry laugh. “Oh, I’m sure it is true, but it is what it is. It seems they’ve had a rather long wait.” She winks at me and I can’t help but laugh at her healthy attitude towards it. I’m almost certain she’s talking about the ice sisters, although I don’t come out and ask her. Good on her for getting one up on those two.

  “I can’t speak for the rest of the family, but Alex speaks very highly of you, and I know he doesn’t feel that way.”

  I don’t know why I feel the need to defend Alex. I tell myself I’m saying it to make Babushka feel better, so that she knows she has at least one family member who loves her, but I’m not sure that’s the real reason I’m saying it. It’s as though I feel guilty for our deception and I’m making sure the end justifies the means. So what if we are lying to her, we’re not harming anyone and it is making her happy and that is the most important thing.

  “Why? Do you think he’s my favorite?” Babushka quips, then laughs uproariously.

  I join her. Who can blame her for favoring the family member who isn’t just waiting for her to die so they can take her home and its contents?

  “I always worried Alex would not find a nice girl, you know. I mean he’s handsome, but he’s so closed off. It takes a special girl to see beneath that harsh exterior. He wasn’t always like that you know. When he was younger, he was always smiling, always laughing. But then his parents died and he changed. He became a stranger overnight. He was so angry with the world. He chose a path I would not have wished upon my enemy. It was a very difficult period.”

  Her eyes cloud over with the memories of that time.

  “I really thought he was lost to us. Every night before I went to bed, I would pray that no policeman would come to my door to tell me he was dead. I was so desperate I used to pay people to keep tabs on him. I was so frightened, but God was merciful. He kept him safe. And now he is the man of this family.”

  She smiles at me.

  “Don’t tell anyone I told you this, but when Anton decided he was ready to ask for Petra’s hand in marriage, he didn’t go to her father for permission. He went to Alex. And do you know what Alex said? He told Anton that Petra was a grown woman who could make her own decisions, and he didn’t need his permission. He needed Petra’s.”

  I smile to myself. I love that Alex realized that the outdated tradition of asking for a male relative’s permission to marry a woman is as good as treating her like a possession and that he wanted no part in doing such a thing. Babushka is right. I knew it before and I’m certain of it now. Beneath the harsh front Alex puts on is a man with a heart of gold.

  That doesn’t help me though. In some ways, I almost wish he was an asshole underneath the mask. That would make it so much easier to not fall for him.

  “You seem a bit off today dear,” Babushka says, astute as ever. “You and Alex haven’t fallen out, have you?”

  If circumstances were different I would have liked to pour my heart out to her and tell her I’m falling for Alex and I think I’m going to get hurt, but I can’t do that. And the last thing I want is for her to start fretting over our relationship. My job is to make her feel good not the opposite.

  “No, not at all,” I smile. “As Petra said, we got up to no good all night long.”

  Babushka erupted in laughter. “You really must have Alex take you riding tomorrow. There’s nothing quite like the freedom of riding through the countryside to make you feel like a million rubles,” Babushka jokes.

  “Yes, I think I’d like to feel like a million rubles tomorrow,” I agree with a grin.

  “I can tell you now from experience there are many parts of these grounds where you and Alex can get naked and get up to no good,” Babushka adds, that twinkle back in her eyes.

  I just laugh at Babushka’s lack of tact and impropriety. I will really miss this kind soul when I’m gone from here.

  “I think it’s almost time for dinner,” Babushka says as we arrive back at the conservatory door. “Are you hungry?”

  “Starving.”

  Alex

  I hate to admit it, but I’m actually pleased and more than a little impressed that Cindy disobeyed my direct order. As perverse as it seems it only makes me even more hungry for her. I spent all day thinking up ways she could pay for her insubordination.

  From my window, I watch her walking back with Babushka. It should have made me happy seeing the two of them getting to know each other. Knowing how accurately I had predicted what Babushka would appreciate in a woman. But it didn’t feel good. It was hollow. I was cheating Babushka. And the stakes were high. If she ever found out it would destroy her.

  I make my way downstairs to the music room and have a drink on my own. The time alone is necessary. Dinner tonight will be informal, more like a party. Babushka has invited some friends too, some of whom are old friends of mine. Usually Natalia gets to come to these events because Babushka was living in hope I would find a girl and she knew Natalia had a thing for me. If she comes tonight though there will be fireworks for sure.

  I stroll into the ballroom where we all gather and have a drink first. Extra chairs have been brought in and arranged in small, intimate circles around the room, but the majority of the guests are standing, chatting and catching up with each other. I can’t help but notice Natalia’s absence. I smile to myself. Babushka might be getting on in years, but she’s as sharp as a razor blade, and she knows Natalia has always had a thing for me.

  Yakov, an old friend, comes up to me. As he talks my eyes keep returning to the door every time it opens. Eventually, it opens and Babushka and Cindy walk in. Cindy looks as beautiful as ever in a bright lemon sundress. The color brings out her tan and the way she’s laughing at something Babushka says makes her eyes sparkle.

  “Is that her?” Yakov asks in Russian. “Your fiancée?”

  I nod.

  Yakov pats me on the back. “Whoa! You’ve got a beauty there, my son. I wouldn’t let such a rare bird fly out of my hand if I were you.”

  What did he know? That ‘rare bird’ didn’t actually belong to me. It only came into my hands at night when the pipes in its room disturbed it. I watch as Cindy leads Babushka to a chair and helps her into it.

  Cindy sits down next to Babushka and I smile to myself. I love how attentive she is to her, how she really seems to be making the effort with her. I just wish that was all I loved about her. I wish I didn’t love the way her eyes sparkle when she laughs, or the way her hair shines. I wish I didn’t love those killer legs of hers or how they feel wrapped around me.

  I feel my temper starting to rise as Cindy sits laughing with my aunt. I’ve spent all day trying to get her body out of my head. To forget the way her tight litt
le pussy clenched around my cock. To forget the way she made me feel things I didn’t think I could ever feel. And I failed miserably. I got no work done, and I couldn’t even sleep for thinking about her, and now I’m tired and grumpy, and seeing her there looking so fucking hot, and her not even coming over to acknowledge me, gets on my last nerve.

  I realize Yakov is saying something and I force myself to look away from Cindy and listen to him. It lasts for all of about four seconds before my eyes go back to her. Yakov laughs beside me.

  “You’ve got it bad, Alex,” he comments. “You can’t take your eyes off her for even a second.”

  I’m mad at myself, but I have to play the part. “Why would I want to look at anyone or anything else when such a thing of beauty exists in my line of vision?”

  Yakov bursts out laughing. “I never thought I’d see the day you become a poet. Ah, the power of love.”

  Babushka nods towards me, then Cindy stands and starts moving in my direction. She smiles shyly at me and I feel myself returning her smile. The whole room drops away. I forget I’m supposed to punish her. I forget everything except how wonderful she looks in her lemon dress. Yakov claps me good-naturedly on the shoulder and moves away.

  “Babushka seems to think you can’t take your eyes off me,” she says, her tone light and teasing.

  “Hmm,” I grunt. “Well, I have to keep up the ruse, don’t I?”

  “Of course,” Cindy says.

  Does she look a little disappointed or is it just my imagination? She touches my arm and I lose my train of thought as her touch wakes up the raw craving inside me.

  “Are you still mad at me for not coming to your room, Alex?” she asks.

  How can I tell her I’m not angry with her, I’m angry with myself for allowing myself to think with my dick?

  “It wasn’t a request. And you directly disobeyed me,” I say, looking around and noting that our conversation is not being overheard.

  She looks shocked. “You’re not kidding, are you? You seriously think I’m going to be ordered around like that.”

  “You are an employee, and I am your boss, so quite frankly, yes I do,” I say.

  She glances around then, flashes a stunningly sexy smile at me. Anyone looking will think we are flirting with each other. Even my dick thinks that. “Let’s get something straight here, just so there’s absolutely no confusion. My boss or not, you do not get to order me to your room to have sex with you.”

  Where the fuck did that come from? I smile at her with the same glaring intensity she is employing. “I did not ask you to come to my room to have sex. I had something important I wanted to tell you.”

  Her mouth drops open. “You didn’t?”

  “Right then. I’m glad that’s cleared up. Looks like we’ve got the chemistry thing out of our systems and discovered we are anything but compatible. So … let’s get back to the business at hand, shall we?”

  She nods her head slowly, her eyes blank. “Yes, I think that’s for the best.”

  “Yes,” I lash out, angry at the easy way she gave up. “And while we’re laying down ground rules, here’s one of mine. When you get scared tonight, don’t come running to my room.”

  It sounds petty even to my own ears once I’ve said it aloud and I want to take it back. I am such a dick. No wonder I had to pay a girl to pretend to like me for my aunt’s sake.

  She smiles at me, the fake smile she uses when she’s about to take Petra down. I hate that I have pushed her into a place where she feels she has to use it on me.

  “Don’t worry I won’t be bothering you tonight or any other night for that matter. If I get scared, I’ll go and see Babushka.”

  “Are you going to introduce me then or are you scared she’ll fall for my charms?” Yakov’s brother, Vladimir says, coming over to join us.

  It’s bad timing. The atmosphere between Cindy and I isn’t exactly warm and fuzzy, but the chemistry is still sizzling between us. Even though she makes me so angry I see red, I still want to grab her, throw her against a wall, and fuck the living daylights out of her. The look in her eyes tells me she would still let me do it.

  “There’s no chance of that,” I say, forcing a laugh. “Cindy, this is an old friend, Vladimir. Vladimir, this is Cindy, my fiancée.”

  I emphasize the word fiancée, to subtly remind Cindy why she’s here. To be a professional and act the part of a loved-up fiancée even though I’ve made her hate me.

  “Pleased to meet you, Cindy,” Vladimir says formally.

  Cindy smiles charmingly at him. “Likewise. So you’re the one to go to for all of the stories about Alex as a teenager, huh? You will tell me everything, won’t you?” she asks with a little laugh.

  She’s still playing her part, and I am at least grateful for that.

  I put my arm around Vladimir’s shoulders, laugh and shake my head. “There’s no chance of that. It’s the bro code. What happens between friends stays between friends,” I say.

  He laughs and nods his head, but then winks at Cindy. “I’m sure I can pass you a few juicy snippets though.”

  The rest of the dinner is hard. Cindy and I are very much acting our parts and sometimes it feels so real, I have to remind myself I won’t be taking her up to my bed tonight.

  I am glad when eleven o’clock rolls around and people start to leave. I excuse myself around half past eleven. We say our goodnights to everyone and go upstairs. We walk along the silent corridor without saying a word. At her door, she quickly says goodnight, and turns the handle. The door shuts before I can even respond.

  I enter my room, close the door behind me and bite back the roar of frustration. I move into the room and punch the mattress hard. It gets out some of the anger, but it does nothing to make me feel any better.

  Alex

  Although I am determined not to go to Cindy, I can’t sleep for thinking about her. Only a few steps separate us, but it might as well have been a deep chasm. It doesn’t help that I can still smell her scent on my sheets.

  I hear her moving around and then the sounds stop and I know she must have gotten into bed. I bet she’s not losing any sleep over this. I mean I was a dick, there’s no way around that, but I didn’t really say anything we didn’t already know. What we have is a business arrangement. She’s probably done the sensible thing, shrugged it off and moved on, just like I should.

  I roll angrily onto my side and close my eyes, but sleep won’t come. I’m tired and I thought sleep would be easy, but it’s the farthest thing from my mind.

  Still, I must have finally fallen asleep after hours of tossing and turning, because I jump awake suddenly, awakened by a noise that I can no longer hear. I roll over and look at the clock. It’s just gone half past two, which means I managed all of about thirty minutes of sleep. There are no more noises. It must be those damned pipes again. I close my eyes, determined to go back to sleep. I am just drifting back off when I hear it. A whimpering sound. And it’s coming from Cindy’s room.

  I jump out of bed and stride towards the connecting door, but the noise has stopped. I hesitate at the door. There are no more noises. Just as I start to move away from the door, I hear it again. A high-pitched shriek. I fling open the door and burst into Cindy’s bedroom.

  Cindy’s bedside lamp is on and I blink a few times against the bright light after the darkness of my own room. She’s sitting up on the bed, her knees drawn to her chest and her arms wrapped around them. She’s rocking back and forth gently and her face is as white as the sheets around her. Her eyes swing around towards me. They are wide with utter terror. If I had not seen it I could never have believed that such a strong and confident woman like her could look like that. A cold horror grips my belly. I never want to see her like this again.

  “It’s ok,” I say quickly. “It’s just me. I heard you …”

  I don’t get to finish the sentence before she bolts out of the bed and sprints towards me. She throws herself against me and I instinctively wrap my arms aroun
d her. As she clings to me I feel her body shaking. She’s only wearing a thin nightdress and her skin feels cold. Her breath comes shallow and fast. I look around the room. There are no noises and nothing in the room. I won’t tell her she is imagining it, but as far as I can see she is in no danger.

  “Shh, it’s ok,” I whisper against her hair. It smells of coconut or strawberries. I can’t help but suddenly become aware of all her curves pressed against me. I ignore the lust inside of me. I have to come to terms with the fact that I will always want this woman, no matter what the circumstances are. Even when she is this terrified!

  “What happened?” I ask her gently.

  She takes a shaking breath.

  “I heard it again, Alex. My name. From the bathroom. I’m not imagining it, Alex. And it wasn’t a dream.”

  I don’t bother telling her it’s just the pipes or the floorboards whispering. I know she doesn’t believe that. And I’m starting to think it’s not the pipes either, but I also don’t think it was supernatural. This house has been standing here for a half-century with not a single report of a ghost before Cindy came to it.

  “Why didn’t you come to my room?”

  She pulls away from me and I see a little of her fighting spirit come back to her. “You made it quite clear that wasn’t an option.”

  “Yeah well, sometimes I say shit I don’t mean.”

  “Yeah, well, I didn’t know that.”

  “Now you do.”

  She bites her bottom lip and my cock stirs. I clear my throat. “I’ll go take a look in the bathroom.”

  She nods gratefully and I can feel her eyes on me as I cross the room. I push the bathroom door open and turn on the light. There’s nothing and no one there of course.

  “It’s all clear.” I turn the light off and walk back towards her.

  “Did you mean it?” she asks. “When you said I should have come to you?”