The Van Helsing Paradox

by Evelyn Chartres

  It

  Slang for someone with sex appeal.

  Jalopy

  An old car or a beater.

  Jane

  A term applied to any female.

  Juice Joint

  Another name for a speakeasy.

  Keen

  Attractive or appealing.

  Kick the Gong Around

  Smoking opium.

  Killjoy

  A person who spoils other people’s fun or enjoyment.

  Knee-Duster

  Slang for a skirt.

  Kodak Moment

  A memorable moment that one would wish to capture on film.

  Mad Money

  Cab fare home if she gets in a fight with her escort.

  Make Do

  Working with what one has.

  Malarkey

  Talk that is nonsensical.

  Middle-Aisle

  The act of getting married; walking down the middle-aisle at church.

  Moll

  A gangster’s girl.

  Mistress Grundy

  A priggish or extremely tight-laced person.

  Munitions

  Face powder and rouge.

  Mustard Plaster

  Someone who is not wanted and will not leave.

  Neck

  The act of kissing with passion.

  Nobody Home

  Describes someone who is dumb or dumbfounded.

  Nertz

  Used to express disgust, defiance, disapproval or despair.

  Nervous Nellie

  Timid or worrisome.

  Off-Time Jive

  To be inappropriate, impolite; to have bad manners.

  On the Lam

  Someone who is fleeing from the authorities.

  On the Up and Up

  Legitimate and above board.

  Ossified

  Someone who is intoxicated.

  Palooka

  An average or below average boxer.

  Peashooter

  The term for a firearm, normally of smaller calibres.

  Petting

  To make out or foreplay.

  Petting Party

  A party where young couples make out.

  Piece of the Action

  Share of the profits or advantages generated by an activity

  Pill

  A person who is generally unlikable.

  Poufter

  An effeminate male.

  Pushover

  Individuals who are easily convinced or seduced.

  Quiff

  A term applied to sexually active females.

  Racketeering

  Service offered for a problem that does not actually exist.

  Real McCoy

  A term applied to an item that is genuine.

  Ritzy

  Based on the Hotel Ritz, implies elegance.

  Rock of Ages

  A middle-aged woman, usually over thirty.

  Sap

  Someone who is easily fooled.

  Sapphic

  Slang for a lesbian.

  Says You

  A reaction of disbelief.

  Shell-Shocked

  The term employed during the Great War referring to Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD).

  Speakeasy

  An illicit drinking establishment dealing in bootleg alcohol.

  Spifflicated

  Someone who is intoxicated.

  Spiffy

  Something that is elegant or opulent.

  Stewbum

  Someone from the dredges or an old drunken hobo.

  Sure-Fire

  Will not fail.

  Swanky

  A term similar to ritzy.

  Talkie

  Original term for movies where actors speak.

  Take for a Ride

  The final drive someone will take before they are murdered.

  Tap

  To deprive of money or applied when one has no money.

  Tarte

  Slang for a prostitute.

  Tits

  Slang for breasts.

  To a Tee

  Something which is made properly or to exact specifications.

  Toe-to-Toe

  Being in direct confrontation or opposition.

  Torpedo

  A hired gun or enforcer.

  Tough

  Too bad.

  Townie

  Someone from town.

  On the Up and Up

  Open and honest.

  Upchuck

  Slang for the act of vomiting.

  Wallflower

  A person who stands apart from others during a dance or party.

  Waterworks

  Crying.

  What am I, Chopped Liver?

  Frustration or anger at being ignored on a social level.

  ABOUT EVELYN CHARTRES

  Evelyn Chartres is the nom de plume for a self-published Canadian author. The writer of four Gothic fantasy novels, Evelyn released her debut novel The Portrait in 2016, and her latest The Van Helsing Resurgence in 2019.

  A fan of the phrase live to eat, Evelyn shares her recipes on evelynchartres.com. These recipes have a loose focus on French-Canadian cuisine, featuring deep-dish meat pies, seafood, and desserts that are rarely seen outside of La Belle Province.

  Evelyn is currently living in Ottawa, Ontario, and is busy laying the foundations for her next project.

  Follow Evelyn on Facebook

  http://www.facebook.com/theportraitofawoman

  Follow Evelyn on Twitter

  http://twitter.com/EvelynChartres

  Visit Evelyn’s Website

  http://evelynchartres.com

  ALSO FROM EVELYN CHARTRES

  THE PORTRAIT

  “A vision from the past becomes a writer’s deadly obsession.”

  The Portrait is a Gothic fantasy about Victoria Frost, an author who develops an unhealthy obsession for her character. As events unfold, her obsessions begin to turn on her and force Victoria to question her sanity. Is she simply slipping into madness, or are there other factors at play?

  The Portrait features a mixture of contemporary and historical scenes brought forward as Victoria explores the world of her muse. Using both prose and art, every scene yields a new piece of the puzzle which provides insights on the origins of her character’s portrait and the model within.

  Discover how a vision from the past becomes a writer’s deadly obsession.

  THE GRAND

  “Even things that go bump in the night need a place to unwind.”

  You will find the Grand nestled atop a cliff that overlooks a cursed valley. Surrounded by foreboding mountains, this ritzy French palatial-style hotel is a place where a roaring party’s success can be measured by its body count. This hotel does not cater to the rich and famous. Instead, its staff and facilities accommodate a clientele with a more discerning palate.

  The Grand is a collection of Gothic fantasy stories with an overarching storyline that incorporates supernatural themes. The Roaring Twenties serves as a rich historical, linguistic, and cultural backdrop.

  Centred on the Grand’s victims, each story brings a different perspective to the hotel, the staff and their esteemed guests. At the Grand, it is always best to remember: even things that go bump in the night need a place to unwind.

  THE VAN HELSING RESURGENCE

  “While the Roaring Twenties are long gone, a heroine’s work is never done.”

  Clara Grey is a hunter and part of a secret organisation known only as the Tower. During the Roaring Twenties, she sacrifices herself to destroy a powerful vampire. As a reward, she joins the ranks of Heaven’s army, and for ninety years, Clara yearns to take an active role in the mortal realm.

  In an attempt to alter the course of history, scientists trigger an experiment with devastating results. The effects are felt not only on Earth, but in other realms as well.

  Clara and an echo from her past are sent to Earth to investigate the case of a corrup
ted soul. For this transgression, Heaven could go to war, but they choose to send Clara—and Edith. They fall to Earth, intent on their mission.

  Both have been isolated from the mortal realm. In their lives, monsters were on the decline, but they soon learn just how much the modern world has changed. While navigating this alien world, will they adapt to their surroundings to fulfil their mission? Or be swallowed up by the evil that lurks beneath?

  Before reading on, be sure to remember: while the Roaring Twenties are long gone, a heroine’s work is never done.

  LICENCE

  The Van Helsing Paradox is a work of fiction. All characters, organisations and events appearing in this work are fictitious. Any resemblances to reality are purely coincidental.

  All images and text herein are copyrighted:

  The Van Helsing Paradox

  Copyright © 2018 by

  Evelyn Chartres (Nom de plume)

  theportraitofawoman@gmail.com

  All rights reserved.

  Amazon Kindle – Third Edition – ISBN 978-1-9994606-1-7