Not Until Us (Hope Springs Book 4)

by Valerie M. Bodden

  It didn’t help that she’d spent all week holed up in Vi’s apartment. But there wasn’t anything she wanted to do or anyone she wanted to see.

  And there was one person she very much did not want to see.

  She raised her hands to her face and rubbed it. Why was it in the six days she’d been home she’d thought about Dan at least six million times? Over the past eight years, she’d managed to leave thoughts of him behind, but now that she was here, it was like he’d invaded her head.

  The head is fine. Just don’t let him get to your heart again.

  Jade pulled her hands down, firming her resolve. Of course Dan wouldn’t get to her heart again.

  Anyway, he was with another woman now. When he’d walked into the Hidden Cafe with Grace after church on Sunday, she’d told herself she was fine with it. But the longer the meal had gone on, the more painful it had been to watch him with her, laughing and planning their trip. And when that guy from church had come over to tell Dan what big shoes he had to fill, it had hit her.

  Even if he weren’t with Grace, he would never consider a relationship with her. He had a role to fill here, a reputation to maintain. And being with her wasn’t the kind of reputation he needed.

  Not that she’d wanted to get back together with him. That wasn’t the point. The point was, she’d burned any hope of a future here before she’d left in the first place.

  She shook her head at herself. It wasn’t like she wanted a future here anyway. All she had to do was make it through the summer, and then she could get back to her real life in LA.

  The real life with the dead-end job, string of meaningless men, and, oh, don’t forget the generous helping of self-loathing.

  Jade shut off the voice and grabbed her phone again, swiping at her contact list. She needed someone to help her get her head on straight.

  Keira answered before the phone had even rung.

  “Wow. Were you waiting for me to call?”

  “Yep.” Keira’s voice was reassuringly familiar. “I figured you were due to be going crazy right about now.”

  Jade snorted. “You could say that.”

  “So those wholesome Hope Springs guys aren’t enticing you, huh?”

  Jade closed her eyes. She’d had a wholesome Hope Springs guy once. “I already told you I wasn’t coming here to date.”

  “Ah, well, the summer is young. Don’t give up yet.”

  “Actually―” Jade fiddled with the small turquoise ring her mother had given her for her sixteenth birthday. It was the one piece of jewelry she never took off. “I’m not sure I can make it the whole summer. I might just come back to LA. I’ll tell Vi I have an audition.” No need for Vi to know she’d quit going on auditions two years ago when she’d realized that even if she ever got a decent part, she actually hated acting.

  “What about the shower and the wedding?”

  “I don’t have to be here all summer for those. I can just fly here for those weekends.” The more she talked about it, the better the plan sounded.

  “Jade Lynn Falter.”

  Jade winced at her roommate’s use of her middle name.

  “Do you remember how many nights you spent crying to me about what an awful sister you’ve been?” Keira’s voice was sharp and sympathetic at the same time.

  “It wasn’t that many nights,” Jade muttered.

  “It was that many. And if you come back now, it’s going to be that many more. And I can’t take that—my tissue budget is empty for the year.”

  Jade let herself laugh a little. She pushed out an exaggerated sigh. “Fine. I’ll stay.”

  “Good girl.” Keira’s voice gentled. “It can’t be that bad there, can it?”

  This time Jade’s sigh was too real, pulling with it all the mistakes from her past. She’d never told Keira about Dan, and she didn’t feel like getting into it now. Next thing she knew, Keira would be telling her God had brought her back into Dan’s path for a reason. And unless that reason was to torture her, Jade couldn’t agree.

  “There’s just not much to do, I guess.”

  “What did you used to do?”

  The question was innocent enough, but Jade flinched. “Nothing I’m proud of or want to repeat.”

  Keira paused. “Okay, what does your sister do?”

  “Works in her antique store.”

  “There you go then.”

  Jade wrinkled her nose. She’d popped down to the store below Vi’s apartment a couple times during the week to ask her sister where things were, but she hadn’t hung around long. Too dull for her taste.

  “I’m not sure that would be much more fun than sitting around staring at the walls,” she told Keira.

  “Jade.” For a single woman with no children, Keira sure had a good mom voice. “You’re supposed to be spending the summer there to catch up with your sister. Wouldn’t it be easier to do that if you actually spent some time with her? I’m sure it’d mean a lot to her.”

  “Well―” But she had no counterarguments. “Ugh. I hate when you’re right.”

  “But I always am. Gotta fly, but call me soon and let me know how antiquing goes.”

  Jade sighed again as she hung up the phone, but she dutifully got dressed and made her way downstairs to her sister’s antique shop.

  It may not be fun, but at least it should help get her mind off Dan.

  Chapter 8

  “Thanks, Pastor Dan.”

  “Anytime.” Dan ushered the young newlyweds he’d been counseling to the door of his office. When he’d married Colton and Sierra two weeks ago, both had been radiating happiness. So he’d been more than a little surprised when they’d knocked on his office door this afternoon, both near tears, asking if he had time to talk.

  Thankfully, the issue hadn’t been anything serious. Just some difficulties in adjusting to married life and setting realistic expectations of each other.

  “Why don’t you two go out and get a nice dinner together and keep talking?”

  “We will.” Colton shook his hand, but Sierra gave Dan a hug.

  “I know you told us before the wedding that marriage would be hard, but I didn’t know you meant this hard,” she said.

  Dan laughed as he released her. He may not have any personal experience with marriage, but he’d done enough couple’s counseling to know marriage took work.

  “It’s worth it though.” Colton draped an arm over his wife’s shoulders and dropped a kiss onto the top of her head.

  “Stay in the Word together and pray together,” Dan reminded them as they started down the hall. He watched them until they turned the corner into the church lobby, a deep sense of satisfaction filling his soul. The impromptu counseling session had been an interruption to his plans for the day, no doubt about that. But for him, one of the most rewarding parts of ministry was moments like this, when he could sit down with people one-on-one and help them work through their problems. Most importantly, he could point them to God’s Word.

  Help them to keep you at the center of their relationship always. He offered a silent prayer for the couple, then checked the time.

  Four-thirty. Which meant he had just enough time for a short run before dinner at Violet’s.

  He switched off the lights in his office and pulled the door closed. But as he came to the end of the hallway, he heard the church’s door open, followed by footsteps.

  He paused, undecided.

  He could backtrack and take the side exit, so he wouldn’t run into whoever had just come in. But he dismissed the thought. What if it was Colton and Sierra with more questions?

  He continued toward the lobby, promising himself he’d give whoever was there the time and attention they needed, even if it meant missing his run.

  But the only one in the lobby was Leah.

  “Oh, it’s just you.” He moved toward the door, gesturing for her to follow him.

  She slapped his shoulder as he passed. “That’s a nice way to greet the sister who brings you good news.�
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  Dan held the door open for her, then stepped outside, locking it behind him. “What good news?” He took a deep breath of the lake-scented air. The day was warm, but the usual humidity of late June hadn’t hit yet, and the light breeze off the water was refreshing. Perfect running weather.

  “I was just talking to a certain someone, and I get the impression she’d be more than happy to go on another date with you.”

  Dan’s thoughts jumped to Jade, before he realized his sister was talking about Grace.

  He rolled his eyes. “It’s tough to go on another date with her since we haven’t gone on one date.”

  “Yes you have. Dinner last week. And the fireworks.”

  “Those were not dates. They were setups. By you.”

  Leah shrugged. “Same difference. Anyway, I’m not the one who made you bring her to the Hidden Cafe after church on Sunday. That was all you.”

  Dan threw his hands in the air and walked across the parking lot toward his house next door. “Her car was out of gas. What was I supposed to do, leave her?”

  Leah fell into step next to him. “Still, it was pretty chivalrous, especially the way you insisted on filling her car up afterward, at least the way she tells it.”

  Dan scrubbed a hand down his face. “I told you, I just don’t see it going anywhere, Leah.”

  “Why not?”

  But he didn’t have a good answer. Grace was a nice woman, and he appreciated all her help at church. But that was the extent of his feelings for her.

  When he didn’t answer, Leah’s hand went to her hip. “Dan, if she’s not perfect for you, I don’t know who is. She’s a pastor’s daughter, she jumped right into volunteering at church, she has all kinds of ideas for ministry and the ability to carry them out. Oh, and she was helping me out in the kitchen the other day—she knows her way around in there.”

  All of that was true—Dan knew that. On paper, Grace would make a perfect pastor’s wife.

  “This is about her coming back, isn’t it?” His sister’s sharp stare made him look away.

  “Her who?”

  Leah whacked his arm. “You know who.”

  He shook his head. “It’s not about Jade, if that’s what you’re implying.”

  “Good.” Leah was still watching him too closely. “Because that is a high school dream that’s over. You know that.”

  “Yeah.” Dan kicked at a rock in front of him. “I do.”

  He wished, not for the first time, that he’d never told her about his short-lived relationship with Jade.

  Leah stopped as they reached the front of his house. “I’m serious, Dan. Grace is a great woman. Promise me you won’t get so blinded by what was that you don’t notice what’s in front of you. Give Grace a chance, at least.”

  “Yeah, fine. I promise.” He jogged up the porch steps. “Now get out of here. I want to go for a run before we have to be at Violet’s.”

  “Fine.” Leah backed toward the church parking lot, where she’d left her car. “But just so you know, I invited Grace tonight. So you can start keeping your promise right away.” With a wave and a laugh, she skipped off.

  Dan closed the door harder than necessary behind her. His sister’s meddling got worse every year. For some reason, she couldn’t bear to see Dan single, even though she herself rarely dated and claimed she’d be perfectly content to end up alone.

  As he was changing into his running clothes, Dan’s thoughts wandered to Leah’s accusation that his lack of interest in Grace had something to do with Jade’s return.

  That was ridiculous. What he’d had with Jade—if it had ever been anything—was long over.

  He tied his running shoes and headed out the back door, jogging across his yard to the wooden staircase next to church that led down to the beach.

  Telling himself it was the better workout, he turned to the south, images of Jade chasing him all the way. When he reached their special spot between the dunes, he stopped short, sucking in sharp breaths. He’d avoided this place for the past eight years, but in the last week, he’d found his runs ending up here every day.

  He moved closer and squinted, as if that would make it possible to see into the past. To figure out what had gone wrong.

  For two months, everything had been as close to perfect as possible. The beach had become their refuge, the spot where they sat close and talked about everything from school to his plans to enter seminary to her mom’s cancer. He’d even worked up the courage to hold her hand.

  He’d tried for weeks to find exactly the right moment to kiss her, but every time he thought he might go for it, he chickened out.

  A couple weeks before graduation, Jade’s mom died. He ached to be there for her, but the more he tried, the further she pulled away. She didn’t want him to sit with her at the funeral. She shut down all his requests to meet at the beach. Eventually, she quit coming to chemistry class too, although he saw her in the halls at school, always with some guy or another. The same guys who’d treated her so badly at the beginning of the year.

  Dan had tried to be understanding, tried to tell himself she was going through a lot. That she just needed time.

  Finally, on graduation day, she slipped him a note as they rehearsed the recessional.

  Meet me at our spot tonight after graduation?

  He looked up to meet her eyes, not caring who saw his grin. Giving her time had worked. Now things could get back to normal.

  Looking back later, Dan realized that her return smile had held a trace of sadness behind it, but at the time, he’d been too ecstatic to notice.

  He barely paid attention to the graduation ceremony. He couldn’t wait to get out of there and get to Jade. When he finally made it to the beach after his family had given him about a gazillion hugs, she was already there.

  The night was dark, clouds completely obscuring the moon, but as his eyes fell on her silhouette, the clouds slid aside, letting a slice of moonlight illuminate her face.

  Dan’s breath caught as it hit him: He was in love with Jade Falter, and he would be for the rest of his life.

  “Hi.” Jade’s voice was thick with emotion, and he wondered if she’d had the same realization as he had.

  He stepped closer, all the fears that had held him back so many times falling away.

  He knew it then.

  This was it. Exactly the right moment.

  As he’d leaned toward her, he’d never been so uncertain and so sure of something all at once.

  The kiss had been . . . awkward. But also sort of magical.

  Dan hadn’t had much practice in the kissing department, and his lips had fumbled against hers. He didn’t remember doing it, but somehow he’d lifted his hands to her shoulders, and he still remembered the simultaneous warmth of her skin with the chill of the night air.

  Jade had sighed against his lips, and it was the most beautiful sound he’d ever heard.

  When she’d pulled away, she’d given him a smile he’d never seen on her. Sort of happy and scared and overwhelmed all at once.

  For some reason, it had made him self-conscious. “Sorry if that wasn’t very good. I don’t―”

  But her hand had brushed against his cheek. “That was perfect.”

  “Hey, man, can you get that?” The guy’s voice yanked Dan out of his memories, and he shook himself, eyes tracking to a Frisbee that lay a few feet from where he stood. He stooped to pick it up, then tossed it to the guy.

  As the guy called out a “thank you,” Dan lifted a hand to wave, then started toward home at a slower jog.

  Apparently the kiss wasn’t as good as Jade had let him believe.

  The next day when he went to meet her again, all he’d found was a note.

  And, until last weekend, that was the only word he’d heard from her in eight years.

  Leah was right.

  He should give Grace a chance.

  Jade was a dream who had walked out of his life.

  He’d be a fool to let her back in.<
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  Chapter 9

  Jade took a second to survey her handiwork.

  “That’s looking pretty good.” Vi stepped over to examine the dining table Jade had been sanding down for her. “Tomorrow I’ll teach you how to refinish it.”

  Jade groaned, but she couldn’t help smiling. When she’d taken Keira’s advice to come down here, she’d planned on talking with Vi for an hour or so and then making her escape. When Vi had asked if she wanted to help, she’d said yes only out of a sense of obligation.

  But she had to admit that she’d enjoyed working with her hands. And seeing the fruits of her labor left her feeling more satisfied than she’d been in a long time.

  Satisfied and exhausted.

  She lifted her arms in front of her to stretch them. “How do you do this every day?”

  As she’d watched her sister move from helping customers to repairing broken table legs to taking care of the accounts, Jade had been amazed.

  Vi shrugged. “I love what I do. Just like you love acting.”

  Jade turned away. She’d wanted to love acting, so maybe that counted for something. Truth be told, she’d never found anything that she really loved. Or that she was good at.

  “I flipped the sign out front to closed,” Vi said, “so as soon as we get this all cleaned up, we can head upstairs for dinner.”

  “Already?”

  “Yep.” Vi held out what looked like a piece of netting.

  “Fishnet stockings?”

  Violet burst into laughter. “Cheesecloth.”

  Jade wrinkled her nose as the fabric hit her fingertips. Instead of the smooth silkiness she’d anticipated, it was gummy.

  “You use it to wipe off the dust from sanding.” Vi pantomimed wiping the cloth over the table.

  Jade followed her sister’s instructions as Vi put away her tools. Ten minutes later, the workshop looked just as it had this morning, with the exception of a couple items she and Vi had managed to maneuver onto the sales floor.

  “This was nice.” Vi flipped off the light and pulled the door closed.

  “It was.” To her surprise, Jade meant it.