Not Until Us (Hope Springs Book 4)

by Valerie M. Bodden

  One of the things she’d worried about most when she’d agreed to come to Hope Springs for the summer was that things would be awkward between her and her sister after not seeing each other for so long. But thankfully they’d been able to pick up right where they’d left off—better than they’d left off, actually, since they’d never been terribly close as kids.

  She followed Vi up the stairs at the back of the building.

  “We should have just enough time to get ready before everyone gets here,” Vi said over her shoulder.

  Jade glanced up. “Get ready for what?” She’d been looking forward to slipping into some pajamas and spending the night binging Netflix.

  But before Vi could answer, the door at the bottom of the stairs opened. They both glanced over their shoulders.

  “Hey! I didn’t expect you to be home yet.” Instantly, Vi turned and skipped down the steps to greet her fiancé. Jade smiled at the clear adoration on Nate’s face as he looked up at his future bride.

  But her smile wilted as Dan stepped through the doorway behind Nate. His eyes met hers for half a second before he looked away, his jaw tight.

  “Sorry I’m early,” he said to Vi, who had already pulled him into a quick hug.

  “Don’t be silly. Come on up. Jade helped me in the shop today, and we were just heading up ourselves.”

  “Yeah?” Nate smiled up at Jade. “How’d you like it?”

  “It was good.” If they wanted more intelligent conversation from her, she was going to need to know what was going on. Why Dan was here. “So what are you guys up to tonight?”

  Vi slapped a palm to her forehead. “I can’t believe I forgot to tell you. Everyone’s coming over for dinner tonight. I hope that’s okay?”

  “Of course.” It was Vi’s place, after all. Jade only wished she’d known ahead of time so she could have made plans to escape.

  Maybe it wasn’t too late.

  But no matter how much she wracked her brain, she couldn’t come up with somewhere to go by herself on a Friday night around here.

  She let Nate and Vi pass her on the stairs. Dan was still at the bottom, though, busy with his phone, so she turned to follow them up. After a second, Dan’s footsteps sounded below her, but she refused to let herself look back. The same way she’d done when she’d left that note on the beach years ago.

  In the apartment, Vi and Nate were already bustling around the kitchen, gathering the taco fixings Jade had smelled Vi making before she’d left for work this morning. The way they moved together, handing each other plates, sidestepping to move out of the way, occasionally pausing for a smile or a quick kiss, made them seem like a married couple already.

  Jade had pretty much always been sure she didn’t want anything like that, but watching them now almost made her change her mind.

  She crossed through the apartment to take refuge in the bedroom. She didn’t really need anything in there—aside from a minute to compose herself.

  After spending all week fighting to get Dan out of her head, having him in the next room wasn’t helping.

  She pulled her hair into a ponytail, just so it would look like she’d come in here for a reason, then forced herself to rejoin the others. In the few minutes she’d been in the bedroom, the small apartment had filled up. Emma, Leah, Grace, and Sophie had joined Vi and Nate in the kitchen. Sophie’s husband—Jade thought she remembered his name was Spencer—and his brother—Tyler, maybe—were talking to Dan in the living room.

  And there was Jade, all by herself between the two, not belonging anywhere. Story of her life.

  She took a tentative step toward the kitchen, but the apartment door swung open, and before she knew what was happening, everyone was oohing and swarming the couple who had just come in. It wasn’t until the group shifted positions that she saw why. The woman was holding a small, squirming bundle.

  Jade retreated to the kitchen to busy herself with something. Anything. She couldn’t coo over the baby. Not with this terrible ache in her throat.

  “She’s getting so big already.” Vi stroked the baby’s cheek as she led the couple to the living room.

  “She’s a month old today,” the woman said, never taking her eyes off the baby.

  Vi moved toward the kitchen. “Jade, you haven’t met Ethan and Ariana yet, have you? They weren’t at the fireworks the other night because of the baby.” Vi grabbed Jade’s arm and dragged her to the living room, not stopping until they were right in front of the happy family. “Ethan. Ariana. This is my sister Jade.”

  They both smiled and said hello.

  “And this is little Joy.” Vi leaned down to touch the baby’s hand, and instantly Joy grasped her finger. Vi looked like she was in heaven. “Isn’t she just the most precious thing?”

  Everyone was watching her expectantly. Waiting for her to—what? Play with the baby?

  She nodded mutely and turned toward the kitchen.

  The apartment door opened again, and the woman Vi had introduced as Peyton at the fireworks held up a pink box. “Sorry we’re late. But I brought cake, so you can’t be mad.”

  Her husband followed her through the door. “It’s my fault. I was on a call.”

  “Ask him what it was.” Peyton laughed as she opened the box, revealing a beautifully decorated cake covered in swirls of flowers.

  Jared groaned. “It was a first for me. Some kid got stuck in a laundry chute.”

  A mixture of laughs and gasps went up from the group.

  “Did you get him out?” Grace asked.

  “Her,” Jared corrected. “And yes. But it took several hours, and I’m afraid the parents are going to be facing some pretty costly repairs.”

  “Great.” Ariana sighed. “Add one more thing to worry about as a new mom.”

  Ethan kissed her forehead and took Joy from her, snuggling the baby against his shoulder. “We don’t even have a laundry chute.”

  Ariana laughed along as the others giggled. When they stopped, she stood, grabbing a diaper bag from the floor. “I know, but seriously you guys, I had no idea how much there was to worry about as a parent. I pray for this little one constantly.”

  “And that’s the best thing you can do for her,” Dan said.

  Jade glanced at him, then at the others, who were nodding in agreement. Did they really believe it was that easy? Just pray and everything would be fine?

  “Dinner’s ready,” Vi called from the kitchen.

  The noise swelled as there was a mass surge for the food. Jade watched everyone for a minute. They were all comfortable together. Relaxed. Like a family.

  One she didn’t belong to.

  But as dinner wore on, Jade had to admit that the others were striving to include her—everyone except Dan, who’d chosen a spot as far from her as possible in the small quarters.

  Sophie had asked about life in LA. Ariana had complimented her earrings. And Grace had been interested in knowing what it was like on a film set—which Jade could only answer with details she’d picked up from friends since the closest she’d come to an actual film set was the training video she’d starred in for an insurance company.

  When the dishes were cleared and washed—by the men, since they apparently traded off turns between the sexes—they all settled on various pieces of furniture or the floor of the living room. Jade took a spot on the floor with her back against the wall. To her surprise, she had to admit she enjoyed listening to the flow of their conversation.

  There was no talk of parties or clubs or who wore what when. But they all seemed to care about the mundane details of each other’s lives, like Ariana and Ethan’s sleepless nights with the baby and Peyton’s plan to expand her bakery and Tyler’s tales about the twins’ latest mischief.

  Jade let herself wonder briefly what it would be like to have a group of friends like this—people she was one hundred percent comfortable around and never worried would judge her. But she dismissed the thought. She’d never needed a close friend group like this before—an
d she didn’t need one now. Besides, she wasn’t hanging around long enough to form friendships.

  “I know!” Grace chirped during a lull in the conversation.

  Jade had tried not to notice that Grace had chosen a spot next to Dan on the couch, along with Vi and Nate. The four of them were crammed on there so tightly that Grace’s shoulder was pressed up against Dan’s.

  “Let’s play Bible Pictionary.” Grace’s enthusiasm was almost alarming.

  Jade made a face. She had to be kidding, right?

  But apparently Jade was in the minority with her opinion, as Vi was soon pulling out a large pad of paper and some markers.

  Tyler did a quick count of the room. “It’ll be uneven teams, unless baby Joy plays.”

  As if she’d heard her name, the baby cooed in her sleep, and everyone aahed over her again.

  Jade stretched her cramped legs and pushed to her feet. “That’s okay. You guys play without me. I’m going to get a little air.”

  She ducked her head so she wouldn’t have to see Vi’s disappointed look. But her sister followed her to the landing outside the door.

  “Everything okay?” Vi asked in a low voice.

  “Of course.” Jade lifted her lips into a smile. “Your friends are great. I just need a little break.”

  Vi laughed. “That’s understandable. They are pretty great, but they can be a bit much to get used to.” She squeezed Jade’s arm. “Be careful out there.”

  Jade resisted rolling her eyes. She’d lived in LA for eight years. There wasn’t much about Hope Springs that could scare her. But she dutifully answered, “I will,” before trundling down the steps.

  She paused outside the exterior door. Where was she going to go?

  The sound of the waves reached up the long hill behind the apartment building. She’d been working to avoid the beach all week. It held too many memories of what could have been.

  So she absolutely shouldn’t go there now.

  But apparently her feet hadn’t gotten the memo, as she was already halfway there.

  Chapter 10

  “Samson and Delilah,” Grace shouted, and Dan pumped a fist in the air.

  “See,” he said to the rest of the group. “I can draw.”

  “I have no idea how she got that.” Spencer tilted his head to the side. “It looks like a potato to me.”

  “You two must have some kind of connection,” Leah piped up.

  Dan shot his sister a look as Grace beamed at him.

  “It was the scissors that did it.” Grace pointed to an X on Dan’s drawing.

  “That was supposed to be a braid.” Dan held his hand up to her for a high five. “But whatever works.”

  He deliberately ignored his sister, who was probably exploding with googly eyes right now.

  “And on that triumphant note, I must bid you all adieu.”

  They all protested, telling him to stay, but he held up a hand. “Some of us have a sermon to finish preparing for Sunday.” Not to mention, some of them wanted to escape before Jade came back inside.

  She’d been gone at least half an hour already, and if he didn’t get out of here soon, he was going to have to see her again. And if he saw her again, he was going to have to remind himself all over again of all the reasons he should avoid her, same as he’d been doing all night. It was getting exhausting.

  He said goodnight, then jogged down the stairs and out the door, savoring the cool night air after Violet’s warm apartment.

  “Oh, hey.” He stopped short as his feet hit the parking lot.

  Great plan. Not only was Jade standing right here in front of him, but now they were alone together.

  “Hey.” Jade ran a hand through her hair, which she’d pulled out of its ponytail. It was now dancing in the lake breeze.

  “Were you down by the beach?” He didn’t intend to ask, but the words slipped out right past the wall he’d meant to erect around his heart.

  She nodded wordlessly.

  “Oh.” Was that really all he had to say? Oh?

  But what else was he going to do? Ask her if being down there made her think of him? Ask if she remembered the time they’d kissed down there?

  If she could tell him why she’d left?

  “I was just heading out.” He pointed to his car behind her as if his words weren’t clear enough to explain what he was doing.

  She nodded again but looked away, biting her lip.

  The gesture was so familiar that he had to remind himself that it was eight years since the last time he’d seen her do that.

  But he still knew what it meant. “What is it?”

  “Can we get something in the open?” Jade gave him a direct look, and he forced himself to return it.

  “Of course,” he said evenly. Maybe she was finally going to tell him why she’d left. Not that he was sure he actually wanted to know anymore. Some things were better left buried.

  “I understand if you don’t want me to hang out with you all anymore.” She gestured toward the upper floor of the apartment building behind him just as a burst of laughter sounded through Violet’s open apartment window. “You have every right to hate me.”

  Dan scrubbed a hand against his jaw, staring past her toward the lake. Moonlight reflected from the foamy tops of the waves. She didn’t really think he hated her, did she?

  “I don’t hate you.” He couldn’t look at her as he said it. Otherwise, he might be tempted to tell her that far from hating her, he was beginning to fear that he was as taken by her as ever. Even though he very much shouldn’t be.

  “Of course not. You’re a pastor. You don’t hate anyone.”

  Dan laughed and brought his eyes to her face. But she was staring at her feet. “I’m human, Jade. I struggle with emotions just like everyone else. But I don’t hate you. I never did.”

  She looked at him then, skepticism written all over her face. “Why not?”

  He lifted his shoulders. How could he tell her that no matter what happened in this world, he was pretty sure he could never hate her?

  “You did what you thought you had to do.” His gaze swung back to the lake. Much as he hadn’t wanted to see it then, it was probably for the best that she’d left. “Anyway, I’m here doing what I’m supposed to be doing. You’re in LA doing what you’re supposed to be doing. So it all worked out.” He forced a tight smile, and she half returned it.

  “So you weren’t angry with me for leaving?”

  Dan pondered the question. She deserved an honest answer. “I was maybe a little angry at first. But mostly I was confused.”

  He waited, hope and dread colliding over the possibility that she might take the hint and fill him in on what had driven her away.

  When she remained silent, he stepped past her to his car. “But then, you always were the most confusing girl I knew.”

  Jade’s soft laugh followed him.

  “Anyway―” He paused with his hand on the car door. “I don’t want you to stop hanging out with everyone. You should feel comfortable with your sister and her friends. And if me being around makes you uncomfortable, I’ll step back for the summer.” He had plenty to keep him busy at church, although the thought of not spending time with his friends left him empty.

  Jade shook her head. “You don’t make me uncomfortable.”

  “Good.” He pulled the car door open. “Then you should join us all for dinner again next Friday. My place.”

  He dropped into his seat and closed the door. It’d been a dumb thing to say, and he didn’t want to hear her answer, whether it was yes or no.

  Chapter 11

  “Here we are.” Vi parked the car in the driveway of a cute little house after church on Sunday. “What do you think?” Vi was clearly enchanted with the place.

  “It’s sweet.” Jade could easily picture her sister and Nate starting a family here. She unclicked her seatbelt and followed Vi onto the front porch, with its white railing, decorative pillars, and cozy swing.

  Vi paus
ed with her hand on the front door. “The house needs some work on the inside, but we’ll get to that eventually. When we have time.”

  Jade gave her sister’s arm a reassuring pat. Vi didn’t have to worry about impressing her.

  “I’m sure it’s— Whoa.” She stopped as she entered the house. She didn’t know where to look first. Wallpaper in every pattern imaginable covered every wall—and even some doors. The entryway was a checkered red plaid, while the living room walls boasted a pink floral print. Jade made her way slowly through the first floor, taking in the jungle print on the dining room walls and the fruit basket border in the kitchen.

  “There’s more upstairs.” Vi laughed at Jade, who struggled to ease her features into an expression somewhere short of horror.

  “More?”

  “It’s no big deal. We’ll take it one room at a time after we move in, and eventually it’ll get done.”

  “And in the meantime, you’ll be happy living here?”

  “Of course.” Vi rubbed a hand over the kitchen wall. “I don’t care what our home looks like. Nate and I will be here together. That’s what matters.”

  Jade nodded, even though she’d have no idea about any of that. She walked to the French doors that looked out onto the backyard.

  “It’s an amazing view, though.” The house overlooked an empty section of beach below the town.

  “Yep.” Vi pulled the doors open and led the way onto the patio. “That’s what drew us here.”

  Jade shielded her eyes against the morning sun as she watched the water. It was completely still today. Completely peaceful.

  “So―” Vi poked her shoulder. “What’s up with you and Dan?”

  Jade wrinkled her nose at her sister. “What are you talking about?”

  “I saw the way he looked at you the other night at the fireworks and the way you kept staring at him Friday night when everyone was over.”

  “He wasn’t looking at me any way.” Jade tried to keep her voice disinterested. “He was probably trying to remember who I was. We didn’t exactly run in the same circles in high school.” Which wasn’t a complete lie. Aside from each other, they’d had no mutual friends—something she’d worked hard to maintain since the kind of people she called friends would have had a field day picking on the preacher’s son if they’d known she was seeing him. Dan would have beat his own school record in the one hundred meter dash running away from her if he’d spent any time with them.