by Nicole Thorn
Great… a whole new problem. I really needed one.
Ezra stood up. “I’m going now.”
“Plans?”
“Yes.” He smiled. “I’ve got to run to the store and pick up a new pillow. Seems someone stole mine.”
“You could always use mine,” I kept my face emotionless. He didn’t. Sadness crept into his eyes when he figured out what that meant. I regretted what I said. Every time I hurt him, it killed me a little more inside. The little bit of life in me faded so quickly.
The waitress dropped the check off and left. Ezra stared down at it. “Do you have any money?” He reached for his wallet.
“No. I was planning on screwing the cook and hoping he’d call it even,” I said sarcastically. Apparently, I had been louder than I thought, because I saw a man lean back and peek around the open door. He saw me, winked and gave a thumbs up before leaning out of sight.
“Oh, God…” I said.
Ezra pulled a twenty from his wallet and dropped it on the table next to the bill.
“Don’t,” I said. “Don’t be nice to me. If you’re nice, then I can’t be mad at you and I really, really need to be mad at you.”
“Why’s that?”
I spoke honestly, like I always had with him. “Because the alternative hurts so much more.”
Ezra leaned against the booth, but didn’t sit down. “What hurts?” he asked.
“All of it. Feeling. All I can feel is the bad stuff. All of the good is gone.” I left it in that loft with him. “It doesn’t hurt knowing I’m going to die again, but it hurts knowing that you’re the one who’s going to do it. Of everyone I’ve ever known… it’ll hurt the most coming from you.” By the time I finished talking I wouldn’t look at him anymore. I stared at the tabletop.
In my peripheral, I saw him move off of the booth. I looked up and he had his back to me.
He walked out the door.
Chapter Twenty-Six: Dirt and Granite
Ezra
I left Anastasia alone in the diner as I rode away. I wanted to go back. I wanted to say I was sorry for leaving her. I wanted a lot of things I couldn’t have. I shouldn’t start picking and choosing now.
I got back to the loft, then fell on our bed. My head hit her pillow, and I tried to sleep. It was still the middle of the day and I knew it wouldn’t happen.
I thought about the attack on Anna’s friend, and how her other friend said I did it. Because of a lifetime of lies and evil, my first thought was to blame the girl. Because if it had been me, I would’ve blamed someone else too. But why would the girl hurt her friend?
Someone could’ve been after my love. I’d kill them if someone so foolish existed. Of course. Any one hurt my girl, and I’d take them out without thinking twice. I’d done it before.
I laughed aloud at my hypocrisy.
But the little witch said that I attacked the boy. Either it had been someone who looked like me, or she had been trying to set me up. Both possible. Both bad.
A random break in maybe. The boy witnessed it, and the man tried to take him out. But the girl had been there too. Did she not hear it? Or had she been in on it?
Other option. She—Elisa—wanted Anastasia to think that I did it, because she wanted her turned against me. Little did she know that Anna had never been on my side. Not really.
Did she plan to kill me? I doubted that a little witch could take me out. Though… I saw Anastasia fighting. She could have taken those men without me. Maybe Elisa could too.
Would she really almost kill her friend so that Anastasia might want to hurt me? Maybe she didn’t have enough strength to do it herself.
Many options, and no way of knowing if any of them were correct. I had to do my own research. I might not have been able to prove anything, but I could at least keep watch over Anna.
I went back out my door, and headed to the apartment. All seemed quiet when I got there, so I parked a little ways away, and went to stand somewhere that no one could see me.
I memorized every car in the parking lot and watched anyone who left or came in. No one seemed out of the ordinary.
As the night came, I saw the little witch leave the building. Elisa didn’t live there and she must’ve been headed home.
But I couldn’t have been sure.
She got in her car, and turned it on.
I decided that I should follow her, wherever she might’ve been going.
Her convertible took off twenty miles over the speed limit. Playing by her own rules, and not in a cute way like Anastasia did.
Elisa went past her house was—I knew thanks to my file—and down the road. I stayed a good distance behind, so she wouldn’t know I followed. Who knew what that little witch would try.
She drove until she came to a place I’d never been, closer to Anastasia’s house than I realized.
We had stopped at the cemetery was Anna had been buried in. I hid my bike, and when I came back, Elisa began digging through her trunk. She pulled out an empty jar and walked fast past the gates.
What could she possibly be doing?
I followed far behind her. She went straight to Anastasia’s grave.
Elisa knelt on the land that the girl I love had to dig herself out of. I could feel the fear she had that night, waking up confused and all alone. Just because this damn girl in front of me didn’t think to dig her up.
She filled the jar with dirt from the grave.
A million red flags went up, and I didn’t know what to do. I couldn’t just kill her, but I felt like Elisa posed a threat. I just didn’t know to whom. If toward me, I didn’t care so much. But if it was Anastasia, then this would need to be taken care of.
I couldn’t tell Anna. She was angry with me, and I couldn’t accuse her friend of something that I couldn’t prove. It would make her hate me more.
I almost laughed when Anna asked if I cared about her, and if I hated her. My feelings for her were the only reason I still felt so angry. I loved her with all of me.
When I was with her, when I looked at Anna, I felt those missing parts of me healing, making me a whole person again. More than what I had ever been, even at my best. It made me feel like someone who could deserve her one day.
The girl in front of me stood once she finished filling her jar with dirt. I hid while she left the graveyard.
I didn’t follow.
I approached the grave once I was alone.
The land looked untouched, though the police had been there. They didn’t even bother to remove the coffin. I looked down and my body filled with anger at those children. Anastasia should never have been through the Hell I looked at.
The coffin remained half buried in dirt. I could see where her magic split it open. Blood had dried on the splintered wood and dirty satin. My fists clenched at my sides.
I looked at the headstone with her name on it and my head burned.
It felt real now; her death. I always knew, but had never given it much thought. She had really been dead. Dead and buried for more than five months. My Anna, just… dead.
I turned to leave, and I stepped on something hard. I knelt to look, and found something sunken into the earth. I pulled it out and examined it.
A broken heel.
I looked back to the grave. I dropped the heel, and stood back up. It couldn’t have belonged to her.
I went back to the apartment for a little while. Anastasia’s light was on, but I couldn’t see inside. I knew she was there. Close and far away at the same time.
I thought about the ticking clock, and how long I might have before there were consequences for my not doing my job. I didn’t fear them. I was scared of what would happen to Anastasia without me to protect her.
Maybe she didn’t need me. She might’ve be able to keep herself safe. She could run far away and hide. She could live her life without me to ruin it.
It wouldn’t matter if I was in Hell. Because my life, my heart, was wherever she was.
Chapter Twenty-Seve
n: Interrogations
Anastasia
Oswald was still recovering with Poppy by his side. None of us had seen or heard from Elisa since the day before. Maybe she had something important to do. She didn’t work, and her parents had gone on another trip, so who really knew.
I hid in my room while I went crazy. Ezra had blown me off, no surprise there. And I got the cold shoulder for defending him. Everyone I loved was mad at me.
So I pouted. Alone.
That damn man. Why do I keep trying to be mad at him? He acts like a total jerk and then does something nice. He has to be doing it on purpose. A punishment. Not that I don’t deserve one.
I paced the length of the still-packed room. I’d opened one box, just so I’d have something to read. I’d picked some old comics, and burned through them in record time.
I felt like a sitting duck, and all of my other duck friends hated me.
Well, I’m done sitting.
I walked over to the window, and slid it open before crawling onto the fire escape.
The smell of barbeque somewhere close by greeted me. I ignored it, and climbed upwards. I didn’t have anywhere I could go, so I could only hide on the roof. No one would follow me up there.
I pulled myself up and stepped onto the roof.
“Took you long enough,” a voice said, startling me.
I saw a tall man with long black hair. He stood in front of a barbeque, poking at food. He had set up a small table with plates and hamburger buns.
He wore a suit, sort of. His jacket was missing, and his sleeves had been rolled up to his elbows. His black and white tie had been tossed over his right shoulder.
“Uh, okay…” I stayed put. No need to get murdered by a creep on a roof.
The man looked over at me, and I saw that his eyes were mismatched. Interesting.
“I’ve been so curious about you, Anastasia. Not a lot of people get out of Hell once they’ve entered.”
Uh oh. “What?” I asked, dumbfounded.
“Come here, please. I don’t want to shout.” He turned back to his food, and turned a burger patty.
I hesitated. This felt like a bad idea.
“It is.” He smiled. “But I still need to have a talk with you.”
My mouth dropped open. He read my freaking thoughts. “Who are you?”
He breathed out heavily as he threw his head back in annoyance. “Why does everyone insist on asking that? Can a man just hang out on a roof without having to pass out his autobiography? Lucifer.” He turned to me. “All right? I’m Lucifer. Honestly I’m offended that you did not recognize me.”
I took a few steps forward as my curiosity peaked, and my sense of self-preservation dipped. What did I really risk? I wouldn’t be giving up much if I died.
“I don’t think we’ve met.” I stopped beside him.
“We have. Once. Or twice. I can’t remember.” He handed me his poky thing for the food and took a step back. His eyes flashed amber, and suddenly he didn’t look the same anymore. He dressed as a homeless man and a memory came back to me.
“Oh God…” I breathed.
Lucifer smiled, and changed back to his dressed down suit. “Quite the opposite.”
“Are you going to kill me?” I didn’t sound afraid, and it concerned me because I didn’t feel scared either.
“No.” He took his tool back. “I’ve sent someone to do that, but he seems to be taking his time.” He shot me a sideways glance, “Wonder why.”
“Me too.”
That got a stare and an eye roll. “Really? Are we playing that game?”
“What game?”
“The one where you pretend you don’t know what you did to my best assassin. My boys keep falling in love as of late. Let me tell you, I find the whole thing fascinating. I guess my girls too… lotsa love.”
I huffed. “Why is everyone trying to make me think that he loves me? Does everyone get their jollies from my misery?”
“Oh, so you’re the only one in denial, but everyone else is the one with the problem. Interesting. Maybe I should congratulate you. Over two and a half centuries of mourning his dull little girl, then you come along and change everything. It’s impressive I must say.” He picked up a piece of corn on the cob with his tongs, and handed it to me. I didn’t take it. “It won’t burn you, promise.”
I trusted the Devil… for whatever reason, and took it. He didn’t lie.
“You think he’s in love with me?” I asked.
“Are you in love with him too?”
“Yes. Of course I am.”
“Thought so. Eat your food,” Lucifer ordered me. I obeyed. It actually tasted pretty good.
“Thank you.”
He smiled.
“So is this why you came here?” I asked when I finished chewing. “You wanted to meet me?”
He waved his hand and a patio chair appeared next to us. He put a patty on a bun before handing it to me on a plate. “Sit.”
I did.
“I came here to meet you, yes. And I came here to let you in on something,” he started. “Ezra told you how he died?”
I nodded.
“He was meant for Hell. The side one does not want to find themselves on. I spared him that, but not without a price. He is my employee, and if he refuses to do his job, he’ll lose it. His favor with me will be lost, and the boy won’t be getting into Heaven when and if he dies again. Do you understand what I’m saying?”
I did, but I hoped I was wrong.
Lucifer waved his hand again and the barbeque disappeared along with the table. “Well, if I chose to take him from his position, his life is forfeit. Then he will reside in the side if Hell that he’s earned as opposed to what he would get if he died in the line of duty.”
My breathing quickened. “If he doesn’t kill me, he goes to Hell?”
“If you don’t die, then yes. If his job is taken from him and you are still living, then one of my other assassins takes his place, and any current assignments.”
“No matter what, I have to die…”
“It would seem so.”
“I lose him either way.”
I couldn’t win. If he really loved me, what’ would happen to him when I died? After all these years, he’d become vulnerable again and now he was being punished.
Lucifer smiled a little. “Do you really have him now?”
“I guess I don’t.” Now I’ll never get to.
“Given up hope, have we?”
I laughed. “Why should I hurt myself more with hoping? I’ve been in a losing game since I came back. All I do is hurt people and myself.”
He fixed his tie and rolled his sleeves down as he spoke. “It’s a shame when someone loses hope. Especially when there’s a reason for them to keep it.”
“What reason should I have hope for?”
Lucifer settled his jacket over his shoulder and grinned at me. “Lately I’ve found that love seems to find a way. As nauseating as it is, I’ve seen some seemingly hopeless situations turn into something amazing, for the persons involved. With my children especially.” His eyebrow went up. “I’ve seen the dead come back to life in more ways than one. And some who were dead, but didn’t know it.”
“I’m marked for death. Not only that, but the person I love is the one who is supposed to kill me… and you’re telling me to keep hoping this is all gonna magically work out?”
“I am, little witch. What’s the point to anything if you lose hope? Might as well end it all. Don’t you think?”
And then he vanished, leaving me on the roof, eating a burger that the Devil made me. My life had turned into a circus.
My mind flooded with everything I just experienced. I should’ve been more freaked out that I just had a conversation with the Devil, but somehow that didn’t make the top of the list of strange things that had happened to me in the last month.
Ezra might die because of me. Not only die, but suffer. I’d made him suffer enough. All I could say for certai
n was that I wouldn’t let him die. I’d figure out a way to save him, and I didn’t care what the cost might’ve been. I just needed to figure out what to do.
I went back to my room, content to stare out the window until the sun set. I kept hoping to hear the familiar sound of a motorcycle outside.
I’d give anything to know what he was doing. If he had started getting ready to kill me. If he wondered what I was doing right now. If he didn’t think about me at all.
A knock on my door derailed my train of thought. “Annie?” Poppy said from the other side of the door. It opened, and she held a tray of food. “Are you doing all right? You haven’t left your room all day.”
If you only knew.
“I’m not doing great. You all seem to think Ezra is some evil monster who kills for fun.” He’s not that person anymore. Since I met him, I’d seen Ezra change into a better man than I ever thought I’d get to know.
“I don’t think that.” Poppy shut the door before coming to sit on my bed with me. “I made this for you.” She handed me the tray with a bowl of macaroni and cheese.
“Thanks.” I took it from her.
She shifted, and I could see her nervousness. “Honestly I don’t know what I’m supposed to think. All I know is that I came home, and my boyfriend was almost dead. What else could it have been?”
“Not Ezra,” I said without hesitation. “He has his moments, but I know him well enough to know that he wouldn’t kill my friend. It was his job to kill me, and he didn’t even do that. What does he get from killing Oswald?”
Poppy considered it. Then she looked troubled. “I—I don’t know. But it scares me. I was thinking about it, and maybe Elisa didn’t know who it was. Maybe she mistook the person for Ezra. He’s been doing this job a while, right? So, if he wanted Oswald dead,” she nearly choked on the word, “then he’d be dead. Don’t you think?”
“Do you believe me?” Please believe me.
She chewed on the corner of her lip. “I don’t think Ezra did it, but I sure as Hell wanna know who did. He didn’t have any cuts or bruises on him. I don’t even know why he was dying.”
