A Different Kind of Happy

by Rachaele Hambleton

  We agreed she would come back next week, and we could make a plan and start looking at properties for us all to get finally settled. I felt a wave of relief wash over me that she would be here again.

  Jamie and I spent the evening sorting the garden. He mowed the lawn and cleaned the BBQ while I tended to the plants I’d ignored since Pat left and decorated the bushes with some fairy lights that had been sat in the shed for weeks. I mentioned to him about approaching the landlord to buy this house, but Jamie didn’t think it would be big enough for his mum to live with us permanently. But he has spotted two cottages for sale down by Lou’s café, which are in her price range, a five-minute walk from us – and beautiful.

  I’ve just got into bed and the butterflies are still flying inside my tummy at the thought of tomorrow. I’m not going to have a drink; I can’t trust myself not to say or do something to David if I’m not totally sober.

  Saturday

  We decided on a BBQ for Lou and David seeing as the weather was glorious. We have been so lucky with it lately, and it definitely helps make everything feel better when you wake up to warmth and sunshine. They arrived bang on time at 4pm as we all wanted to make the most of the sun (and I hoped they’d then leave earlier). David was armed with a crate of vintage wine and local ales to impress us and I managed to act as well as Julia Roberts in Sleeping with the Enemy when I greeted him.

  I hadn’t mentioned the BBQ to Belle as she had already told me that she, Molly and their friends were going to a flume park out of town, so I wasn’t sure if they’d be back.

  David got tipsy quickly. Lou didn’t drink as she was driving. Jamie was drinking beer but was relatively sober. I imagine his nerves weren’t playing up quite the same as domestic abuser David’s.

  I noticed a shift within the first hour of David’s behaviour towards Lou. The ‘looks’ were there from the start to shut her up every time she spoke and it was as if he purposely did the opposite to everything she said – for instance when George said he didn’t want salad, she skipped past and popped some chips on his plate, but David snatched the plate off her and boomed at her that he would be eating salad. He then threw a shitload of lettuce on his plate, bellowed ‘EAT IT’ at him and looked at Lou for a further reaction. She didn’t give one. She just began reassuring George in a flustered voice that ‘Dad was right’ and he should ‘Eat some greens’. I saw him look down at his plate, probably knowing what was to follow later, and my heart hurt.

  Jamie continued sizzling steaks – under the hopeful eye of Stanley, who was salivating at the thought of a dropped sirloin – and chatting away to the kids like everything was absolutely normal, and I wondered if I wasn’t aware of this awful situation whether I’d be totally oblivious like he is now too. It was hard to believe that I wouldn’t notice the fact that George was sticking to Lou like glue and not interacting with his dad at all …

  Around 7pm Belle, Molly and Jacob came home. As soon as they walked in the garden, Molly went bright red. I introduced them all and Molly seemed even more awkward. She said she wasn’t hungry and went straight up to Belle’s room. I took Belle into the kitchen and asked if everything was OK, to which she said she had been fine up until coming in the house. I assumed she was probably just not used to having so many people around, it being just her, her mum and the housekeeper at home. Belle stayed in the garden chatting to Lou, George and Harry, and, as I studied them, I saw that George was such a sweet lad, which seemed like a miracle given everything he was dealing with at home.

  About half an hour later Jamie made a plate of food up for Molly and as I went up the stairs to give it to her, I saw David at the top leaning on the railing with Molly stood in front of him, sobbing. He sounded like he was speaking to her in a firm whisper voice, and I immediately panicked. I asked him what he was doing, and he said looking for the toilet.

  Molly went back into Belle’s room and quickly shut the door behind her. I told him the toilet was downstairs and he pushed past me down the stairs and sang, ‘Thank you, Jojo,’ in a sarcastic voice.

  I went into Belle’s room to find Molly on the bed. She had stopped crying and was smiling – trying her hardest to make out that everything was OK – but she looked like she was in shock and when I asked what had happened, she repeatedly shook her head and said, ‘Nothing,’ with an even bigger, falser grin, over and over again, she said she felt unwell and had called her mum to come and collect her. I asked her if she was sure and she assured me she was.

  I felt out of control, and even more sick. Something was really weird.

  Belle came up and we tried our hardest to convince Molly that she could tell us anything, but she was adamant she was fine, she just had a headache and that David had just met her in the hallway while looking for the toilet and she had already been crying as she had started to feel unwell. I thought about calling Jaclyn but I figured she would be here in a minute so I would speak to her and ensure no one had upset Molly.

  Belle and I left Molly to rest alone and went back outside. On the way downstairs we agreed something was definitely really odd. David was by now right at the bottom of the garden on his mobile phone. He was pacing up and down and every now and then I would hear his voice raise in an angry tone then quieten back down. I couldn’t make out what he was saying but I knew it wasn’t good. Lou was still chatting to Belle and Harry and seemed calm and happy. She was smiling away and engaging in conversation, seeming totally oblivious to how utterly weird and angry her husband was. David came back up the garden, looking half-cut and sheepish and said to no one in particular, ‘Sorry. Business,’ before grabbing his gin and tonic off the table and downing it in one. My stomach was doing flips, but Jamie still seemed totally oblivious, Lou was still chatting away to the kids, and I wondered if I was being crazy and making this all up in my head.

  I went inside to stack the kids’ plates in the dishwasher and fetch the trifle out the fridge when the doorbell rang. It was Jaclyn. I opened the door and closed it behind me to try to speak to her and explain something wasn’t quite right but she seemed massively agitated and started saying she was in a rush and could I fetch Molly as she needed to leave immediately.

  Molly came down the stairs and as soon as she saw her mum the tears came, I started really panicking then because I knew something wasn’t right and Jaclyn started repeating ‘We just need to leave, Molly, now, it will all be fine’.

  Before I could even ask what was the matter the front door was swung open with such a force and David appeared. He looked me up and down and sniggered, then ordered me to ‘get back in the house’ as he had things to sort, before pushing past me. He began following Jaclyn and Molly down the drive to their car, swaying as he went.

  I called out to him and asked what he thought he was doing – it was clear now that he was so pissed. He told me to go back inside. Molly looked at me in sheer desperation and Jaclyn looked panicky but said, ‘We’re fine here, Jo, honestly’ and I felt genuinely worried for them both.

  I had no clue what was happening, but I rushed into the back garden and told Jamie he needed to come to the front of the house.

  ‘Is everything OK out there?’ Lou asked in a trembling voice that reminded me of the day I found out about David’s abuse.

  ‘Yeah, I’m sure it’s all fine. Molly’s mum has arrived and David is talking to her. I didn’t realise they knew each other, is all.’

  Lou was really blasé at that point and told me they knew each other well since they were both solicitors and often met up for business stuff. Of course they did. That explains it.

  ‘Molly is really upset, though,’ I told her, ‘and I don’t think David being out there right now will help.’

  To my surprise, Lou was willing to put herself into the throng. ‘I’ll go and see what’s going on, and see how Molly is.’ Her voice was still shaking.

  Was Jamie really oblivious to this?! I had a very tense situation unfolding on the doorstep and he’s basting steaks with olive oil and a home-made
herb brush like he doesn’t have a care in the world!

  I watched Lou go to the front and as she called David over, he bellowed, ‘GO AWAY, LOUISE.’

  I knew I was going to be sick. I could feel it coming.

  Ruby was in a deep sleep on the sofa. All the boys were kicking a ball down the bottom of the back garden, and Belle and Jacob were still chatting to Jamie while he was flipping his sausages. It looked like the perfect picture of a nice family BBQ – but the music in the back garden was drowning out the shitstorm at the front of the house, and I was feeling like a yo-yo in between.

  I watched Lou continue to try to persuade David to come back inside. And then watched in horror as he stormed over to her, grabbed her throat in his right hand and said in a calm but threatening voice, ‘GO AWAY, SLAG.’

  That was it. The switch flipped in me. FUCK THIS!

  I went out the front and shouted at Molly and Jaclyn to get in the house. David told me firmly that Molly was leaving with her mother so we could continue to ‘enjoy the party’.

  ‘Just leave it, Jo, please,’ Lou begged me. ‘Molly and Jaclyn are going.’

  ‘No. Sorry, Lou, but I will not “just leave it”.’

  Molly was in a state. Jaclyn was incapable of parenting her or making any decisions right now because she was also in a state, and I could see David was gearing up to lose it with one of the four females in front of him, but I still stood my ground.

  By this time, Jaclyn was dragging Molly into her gleaming bright-white limited-edition Range Rover. Molly was pleading, begging with her mum for them to come inside, which was making Jaclyn even more panicky. David then bellowed, ‘Take that fucking kid home now, Jac.’

  With that Jamie appeared and looked like a rabbit in headlights. He asked what the hell was going on, as calm and rational as ever, still holding his BBQ pinchers. Better late than never, eh, Jamie? By this point David had gone into a full-blown rant about ‘interfering fucking bitches’. The only part I could make out was him repeating something about ‘getting that fucking kid out of his sight’ while Lou was wiping away silent tears. Molly was uncontrollably sobbing and Jaclyn now looked like she was bordering on a panic attack.

  Jamie tried reasoning with Jaclyn and Lou, asking them what had gone on and what needed to happen now to resolve things. Molly said that she didn’t want to go home, and David then screamed, ‘Well, you’re fucking going home,’ before striding towards her in a rage. Lou ran after him to stop him and as she grabbed his left wrist he turned around and punched her full on in the face with his right fist.

  He might have been slow to react earlier, but I couldn’t fault Jamie’s response time now. He was on David, holding him back from throwing any more punches, before I’d even fully processed what had happened.

  Lou’s head flew back and all of a sudden there was blood everywhere. I couldn’t tell which part of her face the punch had landed on but it had hit hard. I heard screams but couldn’t work out where they were coming from until I saw Belle stood at the door. I have this vivid recollection of Lou repeatedly reassuring everyone that everything was fine, exactly the same way she had done with me that day I found her at her house, while wiping the blood out of her eyes and off her cheeks. As she tried to pull herself together, David shook Jamie off and ran forward, kicking Lou as hard as he could. It was a kick on her bum, from behind as she was trying to get up off the floor, which sent her flying back down on her face, knocking her out. She was unconscious. Was she dead? Jamie called to me to ring 999 as he struggled again to restrain David’s flailing body.

  I had never in my life witnessed anything like this and my hands and legs were trembling so badly I could see them moving but couldn’t physically stop them. Molly was now screaming, and I shouted for her to go into the house with Belle and lock the door. I shouted at Jaclyn to help Lou, and, as I ran in to grab my phone, I saw that all the boys were now stood at the front door watching this war unfold.

  I called 999 and asked for an ambulance and the police, and when I came out, Jaclyn was helping Lou. She had come round slightly but there was blood everywhere – pouring from her mouth. I could see how frightened Jaclyn was, trembling like me, but she was so kind to Lou, reassuring her, stroking her hair and telling her everything would be fine.

  Jamie was rolling round on the floor with an intoxicated David, both covered in blood, though I had no clue whose it was while David continued to shout about ‘that fucking kid’.

  Molly and Belle were looking out of the upstairs hallway window so I pointed to the lounge window so they could go down and try to calm the little ones, who were still looking out at this absolute shitstorm unfolding in front of us. I saw Jacob appear at the lounge window and pull the curtains shut. Shit, Jacob. How would I explain this to Meg and John?

  Sunday

  Snuggled up on the sofa, with Stanley across my lap, it’s hard to believe that what happened last night actually happened. As I write this now, replaying it in my mind, I struggle to put the pieces together and figure out how we got from hot dogs and overly polite chit-chat to a bloody attack – because an attack is what it was – in the driveway, culminating in the arrival of an ambulance and two police cars. The situation spiralled out of control within seconds and no one understood why or saw it coming. There’s that saying where ‘everything can change in the blink of an eye’ and that really is so, so true.

  The police arrived before the ambulance and arrested David, who had totally lost it by that point, screaming obscenities that no one could make any sense of.

  Belle helped me and Jaclyn with Lou. We managed to get her to sit up, but her face was in a state. The ambulance arrived shortly after and I went with her to hospital. Her face seemed to be swelling more and more by the minute and her left eye was closed over already. She didn’t say much in the ambulance. I think we were both in shock about what had just happened.

  The police arrived to take a statement and Lou kept saying she didn’t want to ‘cause any trouble’ even though she had just taken a punch so vicious it had probably broken something. I sat and explained to her that her children had witnessed this, my children had witnessed this, other people’s children had witnessed this. This man, her husband, had done this to her in front of other people. This was no longer a case of him just bullying her behind closed doors; it had escalated and had to be stopped. Nothing had calmed him down and she had to see that he was terribly dangerous.

  Finally, whether through relief or shock, she seemed to finally acknowledge that it was done – it was a secret no more. We both gave full statements to the police and then they went to my house to get further statements from Jamie and the others. I wondered if they would speak to all the kids, and what effect it would have on them. I wondered if then that may reflect badly on Jamie with Will and Ruby. I couldn’t believe it had happened at all and I was still in shock, so God knows how they were feeling.

  By now it was 11pm and we were shattered. They kept Lou in overnight because she needed to see a surgeon. I overheard the doctors whispering about ‘old injuries’ when they were inspecting the X-rays and I saw Lou look down, making it clear she had heard them too. They confirmed she had a broken jaw and she would need an operation immediately. I took her hand and squeezed it and a tear ran down her cheek. I knew she knew this was it.

  It was over.

  It had all gone on for too long.

  Lou began crying about the boys and the practicalities of what would happen next. I tried to slow her down, and suggested she speak to her parents, because she really needs a support network so strong that she won’t ever go back to that man, no matter what.

  The police said David was still waiting to be interviewed but it was likely he would be released under bail conditions that stated he wasn’t to go anywhere near Lou. I had no understanding of why he wouldn’t be remanded in prison when he was clearly dangerous; he could have killed her.

  Lou agreed to let me ring her mum and explain things to her, and I asked Lou to le
ave everything – including the boys – with me and concentrate on healing.

  When I finally got home, all the kids had dragged their quilts off their beds and had snuggled up on the sofa and floor in the lounge together. Jacob had Ruby on his lap and I was relieved she had slept through everything that had happened. As soon as Belle saw me, she began to cry, and Molly looked like she wanted the ground to swallow her whole.

  Jamie and I joined them all in the lounge and I felt overcome with emotion when I looked at Lou’s boys. Both staring at the floor of a stranger’s home not knowing if their mum was OK or where their dad was.

  Jamie told me that Jaclyn had stayed for a few hours last night. She had cleaned up all the front drive after the police left and helped him get the kids settled and sort the kitchen. He told me she was surprisingly good with the kids, calm and nice – reassuring them and fetching them drinks and snacks. He said she was also extremely affectionate towards Molly, which Molly embraced. That surprised me too. He said she seemed reluctant to talk about what had happened, but he asked her what she knew of David and she told him he was a horrid man, but in a warning kind of way – as if to tell Jamie not to get on the wrong side of him.

  ‘She asked me to tell you that she’ll explain things in detail to you in the week.’ I replied by saying, ‘I owe an apology too, to you, Jamie. I’m really sorry that I didn’t tell you what happened that day at Lou’s. I shouldn’t have kept it a secret – we don’t do secrets. This felt too big and too scary and I know now that I should have spoken to you.’

  Jamie told me that he understood. I’m not sure he did because I’m not even sure I do, but he didn’t give me a hard time, just a hug, a reassuring kiss and a promise that ‘everything would be just fine in time’.

  When Jaclyn left, Molly was asleep so she agreed to leave her and said she would call in today to pick her up. We were to call her if either of us needed anything at all, she’d apparently said.