Global Warming Fun 5: It’s a Dry Heat

by Gary J. Davies

Chapter 13

  Wine Country and Trees

  After a restful night they set off north on Route 101. The temperature was comfortably in the mid-seventies and the sky was clear. "Do you want to make any stops in wine country?" Ed asked Mary.

  "No, I think that we should push on further north to tree country," she replied. "You may not have noticed but I'm getting weaker by the day."

  "I noticed. Everyone has. Maybe we should break out the med-tick we have packed away and give you a good physical, now that we're buddies with the jants again. At least I hope we are."

  "Unnecessary," she replied, as she reached for her ear buds and requested Brahms from Mack. "Wake me for lunch, a rest room, or big trees."

  The road was smooth and traffic was sparse. They made very good time, even though Mick should have been challenged by some of the long upward grades. The topography reminded Ed a bit of the Adirondacks back home in upper-state New York, except these mountains were not covered by ice. "UNLESS GRAVITY IS WEAKER YOUR ENGINE SEEMS STRONGER," Ed noted.

  "IT IS," Mack replied. "I MADE SUCCESSIVE MODIFICATIONS DURING OUR LAYOVERS IN SAN JOSE, SAN FRANCISCO, AND SANTA ROSA."

  "WONDERFUL! BUT WHY DIDN'T YOU TELL US?"

  "I WAS CURIOUS ABOUT WHEN HUMANS WOULD NOTICE. SUCH DATA IS BEING FED INTO OUR REFINEMENT OF HUMAN THOUGHT EMULATION."

  "AND I WAS THE FIRST TO NOTICE?"

  "YOU WERE THE LAST. EVERYONE ELSE NOTICED DAYS AGO."

  "SWELL," Ed concluded. He turned his attention back to the landscape they were moving through and the life it contained. In general there were low forested mountains to the left of the highway and hilly cultivated lands to the right that included fields of grapes. They were clearly skirting California's famous wine country. Ed wasn't much of a wine drinker but right now he wished that he had some. Somehow that thought must have slipped out to Mack via his implant because the Stone-Coat offered to synthesize wine for him. Ed politely declined the offer. Even after years of practice Stone-Coat synthesized food somehow always tasted like cardboard. He would probably have to be drunk in the first place for Stone-Coat synthesized wine to be palatable, and it would take an extraordinary amount of alcohol to get himself drunk.

  For a while he tried to telepathically keep track of surrounding wildlife but that task was overwhelming and ultimately boring. He sensed an endless population of small wild animals and an occasional jant colony. There seemed to be no security benefit to his taxing mental efforts; several CHiPs were escorting them and high above them several small drones patrolled. Safety seemed to be assured.

  At some point he dozed off. A couple of hours later Mara announced that they were passing outside the small town of Leggett. "We'll start seeing redwoods pretty soon. Thought you guys might want to see them."

  Ed and Mary looked about and found that they were on a four lane highway traveling through hilly countryside that lacked large trees. However the highway soon descended into patches of pine forests. "I think some of the bigger trees are redwoods!" Mary noted. The road narrowed to two lanes that were increasingly hilly and twisty. Mary nearly drifted off to sleep again when the road around them was suddenly surrounded by several great redwood trees. The road ran right alongside trees that were sometimes eight-feet in diameter at their base! Tourists with mostly tiny cars were stopped at little roadside parking spots and were walking about the trees. On the Giants' Rest Reservation back home there were a few surviving stands of redwoods, but none were this extensive or featured redwoods this large. Ten minutes later the redwoods were gone; the road wound its way to higher ground and widened out to four lanes again.

  "There's another similar stretch of redwood surrounded roadway about a half an hour further on," said Mara.

  "Nap again if you wish and I'll wake you when I detect redwoods," said Mack.

  When Mack woke the Rumsfelds they were again driving along a scenic two lane highway encroached upon by huge redwoods and fern-dominated undergrowth.

  "This is a side road named the Avenue of the Giants that parallels Route 101 for over thirty miles," said Mara. "Towards the end of it we'll stop for lunch."

  "And a potty break," added Mary. She grinned happily as they continued through patches of nice redwoods. Trees stretched over two hundred feet above them towards blue skies. Mary again dozed off comfortably. When they woke her next they were all ready for a potty break and lunch at a little roadside hamburger joint.

  "We have more than an hour of largely open spaces and some larger towns before we get to Trinidad," said Mara, between bites of burger.

  "What's in Trinidad?" asked Ed.

  "A small bed and breakfast that I booked to be our base of operations for your redwood and coastline vacation explorations," said Mara.

  "Is it close to the redwood parks?" Ed wanted to know.

  "Within half an hour or so," said Mara "Oreck is even closer but deemed to be less defensible."

  "I agree," said Snake. "As I recall, Oreck has a couple of tiny motels that are right on Route 101, while Trinidad is totally off Route 101 along a limited access stretch of highway."

  "Defense against what?" asked Mary.

  "Zombies and their friends," said Doll. "Despite the recent agreement with them we still need to be cautious."

  "That makes sense," Ed agreed.

  They got back onto Route 101 and continued north. Not for the first time Ed marveled at the huge size of the state of California and how wondrous it was from a nature viewpoint. Mountains, deserts, ocean, forests, and temperate weather: California had it all. Of course there were also earthquakes, brush fires, mudslides, severe droughts, and in recent decades political chaos and upheaval, but no place was perfect. Most people genuinely liked California; population had peaked at over fifty million people before the droughts got really bad. People packed the cities but here in the boonies people were still scarce and many people liked it that way.

  Ed often extended his senses occasionally and took note of the wildlife. There was plenty of it to sense: deer, occasional coyotes, bears, and mountain lions, and a host of smaller critters, as well as thousands of birds, including raptors. There were even soaring giant condors!

  People were few. Only a few small towns existed along this stretch of road. There were jant colonies every few miles also, he noticed. Northern California was well populated with jants. He briefly exchanged greetings with a few of the colonies. They likely sensed his wondering mind as easily as he sensed them; there was no sense in trying to hide. They seemed friendly enough, or at least were too busy thinking about other things to have ill thoughts of humans.

  He dozed off briefly and when he woke they were driving through a sizable town. "WHERE THE HELLS ARE WE?" he asked Mara silently, after checking to see that Mary was still sleeping comfortably.

  "Eureka," she replied by radio. "Still about a half hour from Trinidad."

  Mick elevated Ed's seat and decreased window tint so that he could look around better. They were driving past roadside motels, car dealerships, restaurants, and other sorts of commercial establishments. The road swung sharply right and they were soon among older commercial buildings. This was the most civilization that they had encountered since leaving Santa Rosa. The road swung left then soon crossed a low bridge and onto a stretch of land with water on each side. To each side of them long dikes protected the road.

  "This stretch of Route 101 is being rebuilt further inland," explained Mara. "The dikes are only a temporary measure. This whole Humboldt Bay area will eventually be tidal wetlands and then completely submerged, including Eureka and Arcata. People are already moving to higher ground, even though the whole flooding thing is happening in slow motion."

  "That's what's happening even more in the East," said Ed, "partly because the worsening hurricane situation has to be considered. It breaks peoples' hearts to see their childhood coastal towns and cities abandoned. It breaks their wallets too. You guys have only your bays and inlets to worry about; the East Coast has its hundreds of low
-lying coastal towns and big coastal cities being slowly lost. Look what happened already to Miami! It will take hundreds of years but all Florida and New Jersey will be gone before climate change is over, along with a wide swath of land along the Gulf and Atlantic coastlines. Worst case, land area loss will be much bigger than California, to put it in perspective for you folks. Loss in the East will be a hundreds of times worse than it will be in the West."

  "And look how screwed up the West is already!" said Snake. "I don't envy Jerry's job of trying to keep things together across the entire continent!"

  "Much of East Coast human habitation is technically located on the continental shelves," said Doll. "So you're right; at least the West Coast isn't ever going to be hit as bad by the rise in ocean levels. Much less of the West Coast will be flooded. But at least this country has resources to deal with what is happening. World-wide many low-lying countries are really screwed and too poor to do anything except migrate to places that are already crowded with people that don't want migrants."

  "Yes we're in damn good shape around here alright," said Snake. "Glad though that I won't be around to see the worst of things coming. Just lucky, I guess."

  They had talked their way back to a higher, wider stretch of Route 101. Evergreen forests again surrounded the roadway when they at last took the Trinidad exit.

  "I haven't been here since I was a kid," said Snake. "Hasn't changed all that much. Looks like the same gas station, little strip mall, and trailer park up ahead."

  They traveled straight ahead before turning left once they got past the trailer park. In a couple more blocks they found themselves atop a cliff that dropped a couple of hundred feet into Trinidad Bay, a broad, U-shaped bay with the small town of Trinidad somewhere near the middle. Here and there gigantic rocks poked up through the calm bay waters. Many miles further out, the pacific stretched away endlessly.

  "What are those dark bits of things scattered all over atop the water?" asked Mary.

  "Those are the gas-filed floating bladders of the kelp," said Mara. "Below them the kelp stretches down for a dozen meters and more to where they anchor themselves to the bay bottom. The under-water kelp forests are amazing!"

  "Of course!" said Mary.

  A few yards down the cliff was a small white lighthouse, similar to the one they had visited at Point Reyes. An old wood sign proclaimed it to be the Memorial Lighthouse. Directly across the street from cliff and lighthouse sat an inconspicuous, ordinary looking, two-story dwelling covered in maroon colored shingles. "That is our bed and breakfast," said Mara, pointing at it. They parked in the driveway and the CHiPs parked their motorcycles along the street.

  "Old lady nap time!" proclaimed Mary, as Ed helped her out of Mack and into Wheels. She looked tired but very happy and excited. "After my nap we'll look around a bit before bedtime."

  A very old gray-haired man and a very old gray cat greeted the visitors at the door of the B&B. "Welcome travelers to my B&B, my name is Truman," the man announced, as he shook hands, "and this is Fog, my little gray companion." The cat walked among the visitors, rubbing its soft gray fur against their legs and purring.

  Snake lifted Wheels and Mary through the door and into a quaint lobby that featured antique nautical trinkets and tourist pamphlets. To the left was a dining room with large table and to the right was a lounge area with comfy looking sofa and chairs.

  Truman pointed straight ahead to a stairway that led up. "Yours is a larger group than we're used to but there are three suites upstairs that I've prepared per the Lieutenant Governor's instructions," he said. "Rumsfelds to the left, Stormtroopers to the right, and the Lieutenant Governor suite in the middle."

  Ed picked up Mary in his arms and carried her upstairs. They took Wheel's flashlight-sized extension with them for company. Mary was far too light, Ed felt; she was still losing weight that she couldn't spare.

  Indeed upstairs there were quaint well-appointed suites for Ed and Mary, Snake and Doll, and Mara. Ken was relegated to the lounge area, which led to Truman's private suite and the kitchen. The vacated house next door was commandeered to become CHiP headquarters. Fog pretty much had the run of the place, but like all cats, mostly slept.

  "What a fantastic view from here!" exclaimed Ed, after he had settled Mary atop the big comfortable bed. Through the large windows Trinidad Lighthouse and Bay were on display. The view was incredible. Large rock outcroppings of assorted shapes and sizes were scattered throughout the bay. The natural beauty of California was crazy-beautiful. The room itself has clean but antiquated, and even featured a rustic ancient table-model flat-screen TV less than a meter across. There would be no holograms here. There were sloping ceilings overhead that followed roof contours, but they were generally high enough to not require any ducking.

  "Go see your friends and just let me sleep," Mary complained. "Wheels will keep me company."

  Ed found the others gathered in the lounge area discussing itinerary and security as they drank wine. "The CHiPs and I will need to stay with you and the Rumsfelds throughout your visit," Mara was saying, "that's my orders from the Governor."

  "Bull," countered Snake. "It will be the four of us without State help. Me and Doll can provide enough security from here on out. We aren't helpless, you know."

  "Perhaps not, but in the North you lack your Crew of armed supporters," pointed out Mara. "You should gratefully accept CHiP protection."

  "Mary and I will be spending a few nights camping alone in the forest and on the coast," Ed announced. "We'll take Mack and Wheels with us, but that's it. We'll buy camping equipment we need from that little sports equipment store we saw when we entered Trinidad."

  The others objected fiercely. "Your security is a matter of State interest," Mara asserted. "Plus personally I'd rather not see you all killed. PLUS HIPPOPOTAMUS."

  "And camping ain't that easy," said Snake.

  "We've lived forty years with the Mohawk and camped in the Adirondacks every year," said Ed. "We aren't novice campers. That is what we came here to do more than anything else."

  "The forests are full of wild animals including bears and rattlesnakes," noted Mara.

  "Hopefully so," said Ed. "I can detect and communicate with pretty much whatever is out there, even snakes. We're hoping for elk, deer, bears, wolves, cougars, and a host of smaller critters to keep us company. Personally I'm partial to wolf packs. I'll simply send away any rattlesnakes or skunks though; I have my limits. Anyway I'll discuss things with the local jants and birds when we get there; our self-protection in a forest won't be a problem."

  "We're more worried about human critters combined with their little ant friends to form unfriendly zombies," argued Doll.

  Ken kept refilling wine glasses and everyone kept drinking it.

  Ed finally agreed that Snake and Doll would shadow himself and Mary within shouting distance while Mara and the CHiPs would patrol the surrounding area. "Keep those noisy nosy spy drones away from us or I'll eagle them out of the sky," insisted Ed. "Snake and Doll are our buddies though; you all are, but especially Snake and Doll and Wheels and Mack are."

  Why had he blurted out that last part, Ed wondered? It was true but had he just slighted Mara and Ken?

  "YOUR IMPLANT DETECTS ALTERED BODY ACTIVITY," said a message from Wheels.

  "IT'S THE DAMNED WINE," Ed replied. He wasn't used to alcohol, though his altered body chemistry tended to resist alcohol effects. However to his surprise he was now feeling a little woozy. "And now we have Mara and Ken as new buddies," he added diplomatically.

  "Yeah, we're all buddies!" exclaimed Snake. He slumped low in his chair, as did Doll and Mara, as though they were all utterly exhausted.

  Too much wine, Ed wondered? That didn't make sense; he had seen Snake and Doll chug down as much whisky without noticeable effect, and this was just wine. He was going to say something about that but then he forgot what he was thinking about.

  "Buddies like us shouldn't keep any secrets," said Ken, who
sat smiling nearby. He had a glass of wine in his hand, but wasn't drinking much of it.

  "Course not," Ed mumbled in agreement.

  "And we're buddies," said Ken.

  "It's swell having buddies," said Ed.

  "You can trust buddies like me with all your secrets," said Ken.

  "Sure, because buddies are the best," said Ed. Except for him and Ken, all the gathered buddies seemed to be asleep. He thought that he should take a nap too, like Mary and the others.

  "You can tell me now what you learned at Ames, Ed," said Ken. "What secrets did they tell you?"

  Ed erupted into laughter. Weak laughter, because he was half asleep. "They said everything is going fine, and that's about it. Ain't that a hoot?" Ed managed. "All that damned security nonsense and then that's all they told us!"

  "What's going fine?" Ken asked. "What are they doing there?"

  "Damned if I know," said Ed "Ain't that a hoot? All this jet plane and motorcycle and tip-top secrecy stuff and we still don't know shit!" At that point he fell asleep.