The Haunting of Josiah Kash

by Dana Pratola

  “Do you know if you were still at that house of horrors, she’d be there with you? You know why? Not because she needs a place, because you needed someone and that’s the kind of person she is.”

  “I know, she’s a wonderful girl.”

  “And don’t you forget it,” she snapped.

  “I won’t—”

  “Don’t you dare take advantage of her.”

  “I wouldn’t.”

  “She’d never think of leaving you as long as she thought you needed her. She’s always the one there, the one you turn to. Her heart is so big and she doesn’t mind having it stomped as long as she can help someone. That’s the kind of girl she is.”

  “Can I talk now?”

  “No. I’m at work. Just think about what I said.”

  She hung up leaving me to do just that. I thought and thought, with short breaks in between to greet Ben when he dropped off Paisley, then to direct her to Vanessa to set her up with something to do that would keep her out from under my feet and away from Y chromosomes.

  I needed to be on horseback where I could think clearly, but even so, my initial level of anxiety was unexpected. I was told it might be months before I felt like myself, but this…. I sat a horse before I could walk, yet my heart palpitated as I entered the stable. I hadn’t been thrown or trampled, just kicked by a rowdy, half-grown mustang, and here I stood, literally nervous before opening Scout’s stall.

  I ran a hand down his muzzle and led him out to the aisle. Scout was the best horse I’ve ever owned, my companion and friend these past eight years, yet I hesitated before draping the pad across his back, preparing to saddle him. I understood the principle of God being my vindicator, but I would make Brewster McCloud pay for this, and for the second moment of hesitation before swinging up to settle on Scout’s back.

  When he craned his head around, giving me the once-over, picking up on my sour mood, I determined not to give Brew any more space in my head. I gave Scout’s sleek neck a reassuring pat and brought him out to the paddock to put him through his paces. Good exercise for him, and good for me to click back into gear.

  After ten minutes or so, when I finally noticed the world around me at a standstill, and Scout and I standing in the center of the enclosure where we’d been the whole time, I had to accept this wasn’t going to happen today. Not because of any residual fear or doctor’s caution about PTSD or further injury. My head just wasn’t in the game. No matter how I reined them in, my thoughts kept galloping off. Not to Brew, thankfully. To what Eliza said.

  Was it true? Brenna had feelings for me? Something inside answered the question immediately, though I’m not one to take anything at face value. I’ve seen her face light up when she looked at me, yeah, but also when she talked of memories from her childhood, and the time she tried skiing. It’s possible when she brings me up to Eliza she reacts in a similar way. Eliza probably mistook that reaction for real interest and her compassion for real feelings.

  Which, in turn, had me wondering if this all simply came down to pity. Eliza made it clear Brenna wanted to take care of me. Hearing Brenna say the very same thing on the phone this morning, that was probably it.

  Scout yanked the reins, bored. I turned him toward the hill, up the path, taking it nice and slow. That inner something spoke again. Eliza and Brenna were best friends, like me and Ben. We usually knew one another’s thoughts or feelings on a matter without being told.

  “Okay,” I said aloud to Scout. “Let’s just say her feelings are real, not pity transformed. What if I’ve been leading her on without knowing it? Maybe if I hadn’t, she wouldn’t be confused.”

  Then again, Eliza knew her, not me. I had no right to assume Brenna was confused. “In fact,” I told Scout, who managed to follow even when I split up my thoughts, “I don’t know if I’ve met a more decisive girl than Brenna. Has her head on straight. Knows what she wants.”

  Scout gave me a soft whinny. Good point. Did I know what I wanted?

  We stopped at a spot beside a field, now a marsh, flooded by recent rain. More was coming and this bog would expand, but it was too far out to be a danger to anything other than the trail. It was a good place to ponder some of life’s imponderables, and for Scout to score some camellia from a bush.

  If I was being honest with myself—and this seemed the best time, just me and my horse on a lonely track of land—I wanted Brenna. I admired and desired her strength, intelligence and sincerity, and aside from her beauty, she had a calming spirit I hadn’t even known I needed to be around. Now that I had, how could I be expected to watch her leave when the time came?

  But neither could I let her hang around for the wrong reasons. I had to tell her I had my sight, and take it from there. Yeah. When she got home from work, I’d sit her down and tell her. How was the question.

  “This is a mess,” I told Scout.

  His only reply, a snort, as we headed out toward the cabin taking a mouthful of camellia with him for the road. He was a great listener.

  CHAPTER 23

  The weirdest thing…. Wally still hadn’t been in, though he did look in as he passed a couple times a day. I assumed he was mad or embarrassed because I wouldn’t let him drive me home. I hated for there to be any bad feelings between us since we had to work as neighbors on the block. I figured he’d get over it, and hopefully not ask me again. So, I was surprised when he came through the door as I was preparing to close up.

  “Hey Wally, how’s it going?” I asked, the words stilted under the circumstances.

  He folded his arms over his flat chest, scowling at me.

  “What is it?” I asked. Oh no. Was he planning to confront me about why I wasn’t interested in him?

  “I intended to let it go,” he said. “Just let it go entirely, not say anything.”

  I had a sinking feeling in my stomach. He would push it; ask why I’d refused a ride from him. And he was just dense enough to ask me out anyway, not reasoning if I wouldn’t accept a ride, I wouldn’t want anything else from him, either.

  I would have to explain to him that I just wasn’t interested, which, of course, he would take to mean I don’t find him attractive. Neither of us needed to go through this. I didn’t have the heart to do that to him, or the time to do it. I wasn’t going to keep a borrowed truck a minute longer than absolutely necessary. Anyway, I was getting ahead of myself.

  “About what?” I put on a placating smile and jingled the keys toward the door, hoping he’d take the hint and step onto the sidewalk. He did.

  “I didn’t appreciate your boyfriend threatening me the other night.”

  Hmm. Not what I thought he was going to say. “My what? Did what?”

  “And knocking me to the ground! It was un … un ….” His arms flailed. “Uncalled for! Rude!”

  I blinked, shaking my head. “My what?”

  “Boyfriend, boyfriend!” Wally said, glancing over his shoulder, taking a few steps back. “I wasn’t aware you had a boyfriend at all, and he—he … charges into me like a rhino and tells me you’re not my business.”

  “Wally, what—”

  “Brenna, I’m no Peeping Tom. I wasn’t trying to spy on you when I saw you go into that house. I was legitimately concerned, that’s all.”

  I couldn’t have been more confused if I was two people. “What?”

  Wally nodded and smirked. “Right. Okay. We’ll forget the whole thing. I don’t want any trouble with that guy. He’s crazy.”

  He turned to go but I called him back. “Wally, wait. I have no idea what you’re talking about.”

  At first, he looked like he didn’t believe me, then after a quick peek over his shoulder, put his hand over mine on his arm. “He didn’t tell you?” I shook my head. “Brenna, the man is a lunatic. You should stay far away from him.”

  “Who?”

  “Your boyfriend. He and his friend were at the house you were in—uh … why, by the way? What was happening there?”

  I waved the question off as
completely unimportant. “Tell me what happened.”

  He looked like he’d lost his place, and had to refocus. “There were two men. I was attacked. Thrown to the ground, the wind knocked out of me. I thought they would kill me. One of them pulled a gun. I might’ve been shot!”

  His face told the tale better than his words. He’d been terrified. Still, by the way he kept looking over his shoulder.

  It didn’t make sense. Josiah had been dirty, yes, and said he bumped into someone, who I now had confirmed to be Wally, but he certainly couldn’t have attacked anyone intentionally. Thrown to the ground? If it happened at all, it had to be Ben. It was very possible he’d pulled a gun defending Josiah.

  “Did he say he was my boyfriend?”

  “Sure, of course.” Wally paused. “I don’t … not in exactly those words,” he admitted, then perked back up. “But he did say you were none of my business, that he did say. If that doesn’t sound like a boyfriend, what does? Brenna, if you’re seeing this man, I caution you, he’s a wildcard. Be careful.” With that, he fled up the block leaving me gaping after him in a wake of eau de grandpa.

  The whole thing seemed preposterous. Ben would never lead Wally to believe he was my boyfriend. Also, I consoled myself, not wanting to believe Ben a real danger, Wally was a tad dramatic. For all I knew, he had the wording all wrong, too. Probably more like go away and mind your business. Perfectly sensible when finding a stranger skulking near the house where I was alone. Showering, I remembered. Perfectly understandable. They were being protective.

  Though it didn’t explain why Josiah hadn’t told me any of this. I mused on it on the way back to his ranch. The sky was darkening and it was a relatively short drive with no traffic to speak of, but I hoped to return in at least partial daylight and look around. I hadn’t had much time this morning.

  *****

  “So, you’re still blind?” Vanessa asked, one brow arching high over a dark brown eye.

  “For now,” I said. “I’m going to tell her; it just hasn’t worked out.”

  “What’s to work out?” Sandy asked. “You see her, you say, hey, guess what? I have my sight back!”

  “She’s going to ask how it happened and when. I haven’t—what?” I asked Vanessa, leaning her weight on one hip, shaking her head.

  “You’re lying. And lying begets more lying. Isn’t that what the Holy Book says?” she asked Sandy.

  “That’s in there.”

  “So, what am I supposed to tell her?” I asked.

  “The truth,” Vanessa said.

  “That I had my eyesight since Tuesday and didn’t tell her?” It was my turn to shake my head. “Uh uh. She’ll never understand.”

  “I don’t either,” Sandy said. Vanessa nodded in smug agreement. “But I think he’s right.”

  “What?” Vanessa resettled on the other hip. “It is not okay to lie to that girl.”

  “I’m not saying lie,” Sandy said. “Just don’t tell her the truth yet.”

  “Acting like he can’t see isn’t lying?” Vanessa asked.

  “Not if he’s doing it for her good.”

  “Or his own,” Tory chimed in from the office bathroom.

  Vanessa laughed. “That’s right. A man will always try to save his own hide.”

  “I don’t mean like that,” Tory answered, coming out, wiping her hands on a paper towel. “I think he has more at stake than a skinning.”

  She gave me a knowing look. The kind she did when she thought she had some deep insight into my life.

  “What are you talking about?” I asked.

  “Ahh,” Vanessa said, catching on to Tory’s hidden meaning.

  Women were always doing that. Tuning to the same frequency. Syncing up. “What?”

  “You’re right,” Vanessa told Tory, ignoring me. “He doesn’t want that pretty little thing to leave.”

  “She has nowhere to go,” I reminded them.

  “That reason’s for her,” Vanessa said. “This reason’s for you.”

  “Didn’t he just meet her?” Sandy asked, surprised.

  “Doesn’t have to take long. Sometimes the conditions are prime,” Tory claimed.

  “That’s true, that’s true,” Vanessa joined in. “I saw it on one of those Lifetime shows, all about chemistry.”

  “Stop discussing me like I’m not here,” I said. Though right then I wished I wasn’t. “Anyway, thanks for coming to help out at the cabin.” They nodded.

  “Looks like I’m going to miss her again,” Sandy said, grabbing her bag and heading for the door. “Have to stop by the mechanic on the way home. I have this noise in my front wheel.”

  She’d been leaving early a lot lately and I’d have to talk to her about it if it kept up. Lord knew I had enough on my plate already.

  When Vanessa and Tory started comparing auto mechanics, I slipped out, no closer to solving my other dilemma. How to tell Brenna. Not just the manner—best to do it fast, like ripping off a bandage—but the words.

  “Oh, by the way….”

  “The funniest thing….”

  “This’ll make you laugh….”

  I hoped no matter how I told her, she’d still want to stay. I guess the best way would be to show her the cabin, hope it impressed her, and tell her there. The privacy would let her say whatever she had to without my staff eavesdropping.

  That reminded me, while we—well, the ladies—were putting some finishing homey touches to the cabin earlier, Tory mentioned Jim had called, begging her to ask me to give him another chance. When it came to sneaking, lying, or disloyalty, I didn’t tolerate it. Stupidity could be forgiven so long as no serious harm came of it, and although brain surgery and blindness fell into that category, as I said, he was a good worker, and I couldn’t afford to dismiss that on a ranch this size. The remaining staff already stretched themselves thin trying to cover.

  I checked my phone, deciding to listen to Jim’s three voice messages as I walked toward the gate. He’d left two pleading apologies and another message less desperate than the others. He asked me to reconsider, saying even if I didn’t, working for me had been the highlight of his life and he would cherish the friends he had made, including me.

  Well, crap, I wasn’t made of stone. My thumb hovered over the CALL button when headlights came into view, then the front grill of my truck, until finally Brenna’s bright face as she rolled to a stop, put the window down and popped her head out.

  “Hi! Is something wrong?”

  “No, why do you ask?”

  “You’re out here alone.”

  “Uh….” Here it was, my chance to come clean. “I … I’m waiting for you. I wanted to talk to you.”

  She left the truck running, got out and came to me. “Is everything okay?”

  “Yes. In fact—” My phone rang and I raised it to my face to view the caller, when Brenna took it from me.

  Her lips twisted into a sneer before she placed it back in my hand, still ringing. “Tracy.”

  “What the hell does she want?”

  “You could find out by answering,” she suggested.

  I turned the ringer off and slipped the phone back in my pocket. “I don’t want to talk to her. Now or ever.”

  “I don’t blame you,” she said, taking me by the arm. “Come on, it’s freezing out here.”

  It may have been the feel of her fingers around my bicep, or the light press of her body against mine, as she led me around to the passenger door, but I let her. She made sure I was inside, then came around and got in. God help me, after feeling her gentle touch, I couldn’t bring myself to risk her leaving by telling her I’d been lying to her for days.

  “So, what’s up?” she asked.

  “I, uh….” Yeah, what? “I wanted to take you to the cabin.” Yeah, that sounded good. “The girls got it all ready for you today.”

  In keeping with my giant blind lie, I tried not to look directly at her, but still couldn’t miss the tiny intake of air, the nodding of her head,
or the look she gave me.

  “I don’t know what to say, Josiah. I can’t even….” She flipped her hands palm up, then down in her lap and turned to look out the windshield. “You’ve already been so kind to me.”

  I studied her profile until she looked at me again.

  “Oh, here.” She reached into her bag on the seat beside her, took out a bank envelope, and placed it in my hand. “First month’s rent.”

  “Ugh,” I groaned.

  “No, now, don’t get all grouchy because I insist on paying you.”

  “I’m not getting—I don’t get grouchy about that.”

  “Yeah you do,” she returned, smiling.

  “Well, if I do, it’s only because I don’t need the money, I need the help. Did you decide to come work for me?” I asked.

  “Thinking about it.” I lifted a shoulder and she touched my arm. “I am, I’m not just saying that.”

  “What’s stopping you?” I asked.

  I took in her delicate profile as she stared through the windshield. “It just seems like … a big step.”

  “Brenna, it’s a job. People start new jobs all the time.”

  She looked at me—really looked—and I had to fix my eyes on the rearview mirror.

  “I don’t know,” she answered, after a drawn-out moment. “Seems like … more than just a job.”

  Was she saying what I thought she was saying? I was a big factor in her decision? On a personal level?

  She cleared her throat and looked around the cab. “I mean, it’s a different dynamic here than at the dry cleaner. There it’s just a paycheck. Here it’s like family. A team.”

  She scraped her teeth over her bottom lip and my body reacted. Unexpectedly, inconveniently. I fastened my gaze on the pillar just behind her.

  “I’m not sure I fit in, you know?” she asked.

  “How can you possibly know that? You met a few people for less than five minutes.”

  “Sometimes you just know. You click.”

  “And sometimes you don’t,” I added.

  She looked at me again. “But sometimes you do.”

  The air grew still and silent as once again, she watched me. She ran her tongue over her lips, not in a seductive way, really, though again I had to pretend not to see, and that my gut wasn’t tightening with suppressed need, and something else I couldn’t pinpoint.