Heartfelt Lies

by Alexandra Christopher

  “Dude, what the hell? You plan to just sit with your back to us the whole time you’re here?” Jax asks.

  “Wasn’t planning on it, no.” I shake my head, and turn back to the table, taking a sip of the drink Jessa has placed before me.

  “What were you looking at anyway?” He leans to the side and looks over my shoulder. “Never mind. I think I know.” He gives me a shit eating grin.

  “Shut the hell up, Jax. You don’t know what you’re talking about.”

  “What? She’s hot as fuck. No shame in that. I’d be chasing her too if you hadn’t jumped in front of me and called dibs at the field that day.”

  “But I did, so play nice.” I narrow my eyes at him.

  “He’s not the friend you have to worry about fucking your girlfriends,” Sophie mumbles under her breath.

  “Excuse me? What did you just say?”

  “What? Oh, nothing. Just ignore me, I didn't realize I even said that out loud.” She turns away not meeting my eyes.

  What the hell did she mean by that? I glance over my shoulder at Ella. She’s all smiles while sitting some wings in front of a couple businessmen. Has she been talking to someone else this week?

  I notice Jax is staring at Sophie, looking as confused as I feel.

  “Here you go. A dozen medium with a side of ranch. You need anything else?” Jessa asks while placing my wings on the table.

  “No, I’m good. Thanks, Jessa.” Just as she’s about to turn away, I wrap my hand around her wrist, halting her movement. “Is Ella dating anyone?” I ask so only she can hear.

  “Not that I’m aware. You’re the only guy I’ve seen her talking to. Why?”

  “No reason. Just curious.”

  “She’s not Kennedy, Kohl. I don’t think you have to worry about that with her.”

  I give her a small nod before turning back to my food. I plan on taking my time and hanging out until the lunch rush is over, so I can steal Ella away for a few minutes.

  “Everything ok with you?” I ask Lily. “You’re being awful quiet today.” She hasn’t spoken one word to me since I sat down at the table.

  “I’m good. Just tired. All this rain is making me sleepy,” she says, staring out the window, watching the rain pelt the large glass.

  She doesn’t seem herself. Her usual carefree smile has been replaced with a somber expression. Her eighteenth birthday is tomorrow, and her mom is having a surprise party for her tonight. I'm terrible at keeping secrets, so I haven't said a word about celebrating. I'm sure she thinks I forgot. She appears upset though, and the last thing I want to do is hurt her. I send her mom a quick text to confirm the party time and tell her I'll keep Lily busy until seven.

  “This weather sucks. It’s a perfect day to veg out on the couch and watch some movies. What do you say? Want to hit Redbox and hide out in the game room with me all day?”

  That brings a little light to her eyes. “Sounds good. I don’t have any plans.” She grins ear to ear.

  I'm glad to see her smiling, I just hope I can pull this off and not spill the beans about her party. Conversation flows easily after that and we all finish our lunch while catching up. It was really good visiting with everyone, but it's once again time to head out the door and I haven’t even said hi to Ella yet, much less ask for her number. That’s just not happening.

  “Lily, I’ve got a couple errands to run. Why don’t I pick you up in…" I look at my watch, "about an hour? That work for you?”

  “Yeah, an hour works," she agrees easily.

  I’m left alone once we’ve all paid the tabs and said our goodbyes. I throw a big tip down on the table and take one last drink before making my way toward Ella.

  She’s standing over by the soda fountain, laughing at something Jessa has said. I take my time as I make my way over, appreciating the perfect round globes of her ass in those jeans.

  I picture myself gripping those cheeks in my large hands as she rides my cock. Her tits bouncing in my face, the taste of her nipples as I suck the pebbled buds into my mouth… damn I’ve got to stop that train of thought. If the bulge in my jeans gets any bigger, I’m going to embarrass myself.

  Her back is to me as I approach. I can’t help myself when I reach out and grip her by the waist, my thumbs fitting perfectly in the sexy dimples above her ass. She peeks over her shoulder with an easy smile, like she already knew who had her.

  “Hey, beautiful.” I pull her back against my chest and wrap my arms around her briefly. “How has your week been? I’ve missed you.”

  “It’s been good.”

  “Yeah? I’ve picked up my phone to call you a hundred times since Sunday. I’ve kicked my own ass every time, realizing I don’t have your number.”

  “Me, too! Let me see your phone.”

  I pull my phone from my pocket and hand it to her. She quickly adds her information before sending herself a text.

  “There, now I have your number, too.”

  “What time do you get off work?”

  “In a couple hours. Want to hang out?”

  “I can’t tonight, I already have plans. I’m sorry.”

  “Oh… I see. It’s fine—”

  “It’s not like that though. I didn’t mean it like it sounds. Lily and I are just going to veg out in my basement and watch movies. Her mom's throwing her a surprise birthday party tonight, so I'm keeping her busy while she sets up.”

  “Oh, well that sounds like fun."

  "Yeah, I'd invite you along, but I don't really know what her mom has planned.”

  “No biggie. You two have fun.” She gives me a small smile.

  “Maybe we could do something tomorrow. Are you free?” I reach for her fingers, giving them a small squeeze.

  “No plans other than sitting around bored out of my mind. I’d love to go do something with you.”

  “Great! Sounds like a plan.” I glance at my watch briefly. “I hate to cut it short, but I’m supposed to pick Lily up in an hour and I still need to stop by Redbox. Don’t want to get myself in trouble,” I joke.

  “I bet. I need to get back to work anyway.”

  “I didn’t mean to keep you. Just wanted to say hi. Can I call you later tonight? We can make plans for tomorrow.”

  “Sure. I'll look forward to it. See ya, Kohl.” She gives a little wave as she turns and walks away.

  I turn my attention to Jessa. She's shaking her head.

  “What?”

  “Nothing. I swear you’re clueless. Why do you always play right into those little games?” she asks, annoyance clear in her tone.

  “What games? What are you talking about?”

  “Ha! Yep, clueless. Let me give you a little piece of advice, Kohl. Don't let your little friend come in between you and Ella, like she has everyone else. Jealousy is an evil emotion.”

  “Okayyyy.” I stretch the word out, totally clueless, just like Jessa said.

  “You really don’t see it do you?” Jessa shakes her head. “You know what, forget I mentioned it. I’ve got to get back to work. Good luck!”

  What the hell is happening around here lately? I think everyone is losing their damn minds. Or maybe it’s me, I don’t know what’s up or down at this point.

  7

  Ella

  I’ve been staring at this empty page for the past thirty minutes, my mind a complete blank. My therapist gave me a journal at my very first visit. She said it doesn’t matter what I write in it, just write what I’m feeling down each day.

  The process is supposed to bring clarity and improve how I work through my emotions. I don’t know if it’s made a big difference really, but I suppose I’ll keep at it. It's a good outlet for venting my frustrations.

  It’s Saturday afternoon and I’m bored. I need to get out and do something. I’m done waiting around this house, watching my phone. I wasted my entire Friday night and most of today waiting for Kohl to text or call. Needless to say, he hasn’t and I’m tired of sitting around. I close my journal and slip m
y shoes on. When I get down stairs, I find Gram at the kitchen table working on a puzzle.

  “Gram, I think I’m going to go for a walk.” I hold up my journal. “Find a nice place to sit and write, maybe clear my head a little.”

  “Okay. What direction are you heading?”

  “I’m not really sure. Any nice, relaxing places you would suggest?”

  “There’s a river that runs just along the edge of town. It’s not too far from here, it’s beautiful out there, peaceful. You’re welcome to take my car.”

  “That actually sounds perfect. Thanks Gram.”

  “Keys are on the table by the door. Just turn left by the corner store and follow the road around. It will lead you straight there.”

  “Sounds simple enough. I won’t stay gone too long.”

  “Take your time, sweet pea. Just be sure to take your phone in case you need me.”

  I give her a kiss on the cheek and grab the car keys before heading out the door. It doesn’t take long to find my way to the river. I park the car and grab my journal before walking toward the water.

  It really is gorgeous out here. The long, wide river flows silently as far as I can see, down and around the bend. It’s lined with beautiful, tall trees, the reflection of their green leaves dance in the water. The ground surrounding it's a mixture of flat stones and sand. It’s quiet and peaceful, just what I need.

  I slip my shoes off and step into the water. It’s freezing cold but I appreciate the slight sting on my skin. Reminds me I’m alive. And no matter my past, I’m here and I’m not alone. I have Gram now, and a ton of opportunities I never thought I’d have. So what if I’m a little disappointed my crush didn’t call? I have plenty other things to look forward to.

  I continue to walk through the shallow water, never getting past my shins. Tiny baby fish gathered close to the edge scatter as I approach. I find a few flat rocks and attempt to skip them across the river. Most only make it a couple hops before sinking beyond the surface. Small drops splash onto my legs as I make my way through the water. When a shiver overtakes me, I decide I’ve had enough.

  I step from the river and slip into my shoes before walking further up the bank. I find a place close to the trees. The area here is covered with a plush grass, it's the perfect place to write. There’s not a soul in sight when I sit down. The sky is clear, and the sun warms my chilled body quickly. Closing my eyes, I take a few deep breaths to clear all thoughts from my mind. I love it out here. I think I may have just found my spot here in Gale.

  Back home in Texas my spot was a small abandoned ball park a few blocks from my house. Sometimes when it felt like the walls were closing in on me, I would walk there and spend hours just lying on the old wooden bleachers, listening to music on my phone.

  I’ve always been the type to need a little space when life becomes a bit too much to handle. I think this little patch of grass with a picture-perfect view was made just for me.

  Picking up my phone, I check the time. I’m surprised to see I’ve been out here close to two hours already. I’ve written in my journal off and on, but mainly I’ve just enjoyed the peace and quiet that surrounds me.

  A distant buzz draws my attention. My gaze scans the river as the buzzing gets louder. Not seeing anything I get up, slip my shoes off and make my way to the water’s edge once again. I hadn’t noticed but I’ve gotten a little hot while sitting out here.

  I’ve just stepped into the water when I look up and see a jet ski coming around the bend. I can hear shouted conversation as it quickly approaches me. I’m squinting my eyes for a better view when I realize who it is. Kohl and Lily. He’s in the front and she's snuggled to his back, her arms wrapped tightly around his waist. Her thighs press snug to the outside of his and a megawatt smile covers her face.

  He glances over and notices me just as they fly past. I immediately turn, walking briskly toward my things. I’ve just slipped into my shoes and put my journal back in my bag when I hear my name shouted behind me. I peek over my shoulder and see Kohl tugging the jet ski up onto the bank. Lily remains on the seat, an annoyed glare marring her face.

  Nope! I’m not doing this! I push my arm through the straps of my bag, turn around and walk quickly in the direction of the car.

  “Ella! Hey, wait up!” Kohl shouts.

  Wonderful. Just what I wanted to do today. I had just reached my happy place, now here I am, about to face the guy who’s basically left me hanging for two days. And all while he’s off having fun with his best friend that hates me. I don’t care if he says she's just being protective, or not. That girl doesn't want me around. It’s been written all over her face every time I’ve seen her. He continues to call after me. Ugh! I stop and turn, waiting for him to reach me.

  “Hey, I didn’t expect to see you. What are you doing out here?” Kohl asks.

  “Just relaxing.” I say nothing else, my gaze on the river. If he thinks I’m going to stand here and chat it up while Lily shoots daggers my way, he’s got another think coming.

  “Shit, Ella! I was supposed to call you last night. And today…” he trails off.

  “Yeah, don’t worry about it. No biggie.”

  “Damn.” He scrubs both hands down his face. “I’m so sorry. I completely forgot. Lily asked me to bring her out here for her birthday today and I didn't even think. I just agreed.” He looks to his feet and sighs. “I was tired and about to head home after her party, it slipped my mind that we already had plans. I really am sorry, Ella," he finishes, his hand squeezing the back of his neck.

  “Really, Kohl. Don’t give it another thought.” I’m silently thinking don’t give me

  another thought since you obviously haven’t until now. “I’ve got to get Gram’s car back. You two have fun.” I nod toward the girl still perched on the jet ski.

  I immediately turn, giving him my back and head straight for the car. I don’t need that kind of drama in my life. I’m done and over it.

  “Ella…” Kohl says, regret lacing his voice.

  I don’t turn, I don’t acknowledge him, I just walk to the car and open the door before getting inside. As I’m backing out, I look back, seeing him throw a leg over the seat of the jet ski. Lily's quick to wrap her arms around him, smiling once again.

  Jessa was right. I overheard her talking to Kohl yesterday. Lily knows the game she's playing, and she has Kohl right where she wants him, away from me.

  It’s Monday and the start of a new work week. Jessa and I have just moved the last chair from the table onto the floor. In a few more minutes Mr. Lewis will open the doors and the lunch crowd will hit.

  I was so happy to see the weekend come to an end. I stayed cooped up in the house all day yesterday. I thought about going to the river but didn’t want to chance running into Kohl. Not that I think he would be out searching for me or anything. But after avoiding the few calls and texts he sent, I wasn’t going to chance it. I’m not ready to talk to him just yet.

  He hasn’t really done anything wrong—we aren’t dating. Even so, he still asked me to spend time with him and then completely forgot about me. Yeah, my feelings are hurt. And maybe my prides a little bruised too.

  I wait nervously for the question I know is coming.

  “Well, how was it? What did you and Kohl end up doing this weekend?” Jessa pries.

  And… there it is.

  “Actually, we didn’t do anything.”

  “What? Why not?”

  “He never called. I waited all Friday night and most of the day Saturday, but he never called. Didn’t even send a text.” I shrug my shoulders, attempting to play off my hurt. I hope she'll drop it, but she doesn't.

  “You are not serious! That’s it, I’m calling him right now!” she huffs, pulling her phone from her back pocket.

  “No! Don’t.” I reach out, grab her phone and shove it behind my back.

  “I’ve already spoken to him. I got tired of sitting around and waiting on him like an idiot, so I went to the river to write. A
fter a couple of hours, I looked up and there he was. With Lily. They were speeding down the river on a jet ski and seemed to be having a great time.” I look down to hide the disappointment on my face.

  “What the hell, Ella? I’m so sorry. How could he do that to you?”

  I toss my hands up in an I don't know gesture. “He said Lily asked him to take her out to the river for her birthday. It was late, he was tired and not thinking, blah, blah, blah. I don’t know…”

  “I don’t give a shit what he said. He should have called her the next day and told her he forgot but had already made plans with you. Ugh! That girl is a manipulative little troublemaker.” Jessa fumes.

  “My thoughts exactly. You should’ve seen the look on her face when he pulled up to the bank to talk to me. If looks could kill I would’ve fallen over right there.” I laugh without humor. “She didn’t even bother to get off. Just sat there on the seat and stared me down the whole time. I made the mistake of looking back over at them while I was leaving. Let's just say, all was right in her world, and she had an "I won smile on her face.”

  “Sounds just like her. She’s always caused trouble for him. And I don’t mean just with other girls, though she caused plenty of trouble for him and Kennedy over the years. Any time anyone gets a little too close to Kohl she finds a way to come between them, even his guy friends. That girl takes jealousy to a whole new level. It's like she wants to be his only friend.”

  “Well, I don’t need the disappointment. I’m trying really hard to overcome some things from my past, I just can’t add more to it.” I admit.

  "I don't blame you. I wouldn't either."

  “I'm really hurt honestly. It's like he chose her over me. I guess in a way he did because he broke his word to me to keep his with her. He made plans with me first, then threw me aside for her. It sucks but I’ll get over it.”

  “Well, he’s going to hear about it from me. I’m not letting him get away with it. One day I hope he sees her for what she is.”