by S S Bazinet
“Yes, but how many will ever get a chance at angelic blood?”
“How many would take that chance? Think about what you’ve gone through.”
“I guess you’re right. I even died at one point. So did William.”
“Yours hasn’t been an easy path.”
Arel sat back. “So why do I feel so worthless when Claire is around?”
“That’s a question only you can answer.”
“So that’s it. You won’t give me any advice about how I’m feeling.”
“Would it make any difference if I did?”
“No, I guess you’ve told me how you feel about me many times. But why hasn’t it stuck? Why do I still get thrown off course like I do?”
“Perhaps you’re still looking outside of yourself for answers.”
Arel stopped rubbing the rough bench seat. “Michael, I just had a thought. Maybe Claire has some misguided ideas too.”
“I’m listening.”
“She’s always talking about helping the unfortunate, but what if that’s because she’s not happy? Maybe she’s trying to fix herself by fixing others.”
“Whether that’s true or not, she has a right to feel however she chooses to feel. Your responsibility is not to blame her if her choices conflict with your own.”
“She says things that make me cringe. At the same time, I can’t argue with her views. There are so many people in the world who are hurting.”
“Yes, and if you feel in your heart that you’d like to help others in some way, I’d say to follow your heart and that path. But each person has to find the path that’s right for them. Take Elise for instance.”
“Elise? She writes romance stories. How’s that helpful?”
“It’s easy to point out people who are starving physically, but many of the women who read her books have very difficult lives too. They might live in a house and have food to eat, but that’s not enough to sustain them. Many still feel very discouraged, even hopeless. Elise has been in their position, and she tries to address some of their needs. Her books don’t provide a solution to people’s problems, but they might provide some moments of relief, and maybe even the strength needed to face another day.”
“I never thought of it that way.”
“Now, let’s consider a very different path, one where the person simply sits on their porch and admires their surroundings, the sun or the rain clouds, the birds or a mouse in the grass. What about that path? Some would say the person is lazy, but how is that person so very different than a contemplative monk? Aren’t both of them honoring the Creator in their own way?”
“I guess that’s true.”
“Every person has a unique viewpoint. Everyone has the ability to contribute to the well-being of all. It might be something intangible like the joy a person feels about their life and the life around them. That joy can’t be measured like the results that come from a more active lifestyle. But think about the effect a joyful person or a laughing, happy child can have on another. It can be an uplifting experience. The key is not to judge one person’s path against another’s.”
Arel settled back and glanced at the barren trees that circled the park. When he felt a chill from a sharp gust of wind, he knew that winter was on the way. “Everything you’ve said makes perfect sense.”
Michael laughed. “But—”
“But there’s another side to all of this. Sometimes, when Claire and I are in bed, it’s so wonderful to have her close. In those precious moments, I forget everything. I don’t want those moments to ever end. That’s why it feels impossible to say no to her.”
Michael stood up and took in a deep breath of the brisk air. “I understand.”
“So what am I going to do?”
“Give yourself some time. Don’t try to figure it out all at once.”
“That’s not an option. Claire says I’ve wasted enough of my life, and I need to make some decisions, now.”
Thirty-One
ELISE KNOCKED ON Annabel’s door. “Annabel, can I talk to you in the living room? I know that it’s getting late, but I have an idea.”
“Be there in a minute,” Annabel called out.
A few minutes later, when the two of them were seated on the sofa, Elise handed Annabel a cup of hot chocolate. Freddie was stretched out on the cushion between them. He was dozing soundly after a day of puppy crazies and long walks.
“So what is your idea?” Annabel asked.
Elise snickered and handed her a napkin. “You have a little mustache, sweetie.”
“Mustache?” Annabel returned a look of surprise and dabbed at her upper lip.
“You got it,” Elise said, still smiling.
Annabel laughed too. “You seem unusually happy. What’s going on?”
“I want to have a party before you leave. We can invite our friends over to celebrate and enjoy lots of good food.”
“What are we celebrating?”
“I don’t know, but everything is changing very quickly. You’re going back to London. I’m moving, and Claire and Arel are going to be traveling to who-knows-where. Before all that happens, we should get together and have some fun.”
“Yes, I guess you’re right. I saw a ‘For Sale’ sign in Arel’s yard today.”
Elise held her cup in both hands. “I haven’t known all of you for very long, but I have fond memories of the time we’ve spent together.”
“Me too, Elise. I never knew how much fun it could be to dress up in a wig or learn to dance. But I’m curious.”
“About what?”
“Why are you inviting Claire and Arel to this party? Won’t that be awkward for you?”
“I want to part with everyone on good terms.”
Annabel gave Elise a playful look. “Are you also curious about Claire?”
“Maybe, she does seem rather interesting. And who knows, she might have some redeeming qualities.”
Annabel took a big sip of her chocolate and grabbed for her napkin. “I guess you’re right. Arel is a dear friend. I want to be okay with Claire, too.”
“Well, I’ve been thinking a lot about her and what I’ve been told. If I picture her as one of my characters, it helps me to have a different perspective.”
“Really? So describe how you see her as someone in one of your stories.”
Elise paused for a moment, giving her imagination free rein. “The character named Claire is focused and filled with determination. She’s the take charge type. She goes after what she wants and gets it.”
“Does that include a man? I only ask since you write about romance.”
“Of course, in my books, there’s always a love interest.”
“What about Arel? Would he make it into one of your novels?”
“Maybe, but he’d have to change. Claire needs someone as strong as she is. Plus, my readers don’t want my male characters to be push-overs. They need a juicy partnership, where both the gal and guy bring something unexpected and challenging to the relationship.”
“You’re saying that Arel would have to stand up to Claire.”
“That’s right.”
Annabel sighed. “The real Arel has no intention of doing that. From what I know, he’s been alone for a long time. He wants someone to share his life. When he met Claire, he decided that she was the one.”
“I’m kind of curious to see the two of them together. I hope they come to our little get-together. Sometimes a party brings out versions of a person that you don’t expect.”
Annabel let out a sudden gasp. “Goodness, I’ve never gone to a party.”
“Never? Oh Annabel, that means we’ll have to make it an extra-special celebration.”
“I’ll be happy to help with the food preparation.”
“Thank you, I love having you in the kitchen. You’re great company.” Elise put her feet up on the coffee table and stared at her fuzzy slippers. “And Annabel?”
“Yes?”
“Wherever I go, wherever I end up
, I hope we’ll stay in touch. And remember, you’ll always be welcome to visit me.”
Annabel put her feet up too, looking pleased. “Thank you, and thank you for the matching slippers. I wonder if William will like them.”
Elise sat back and let her thoughts drift. “Your fellow sounds like quite the man. Do you think he’d be able to stand up to Claire?”
Annabel swallowed wrong and started coughing. When she finally caught her breath, she gave Elise a mischievous look. “My William and Claire? I can only think of one scenario. War, with no holds barred.”
“Hmm, I’m certainly not in favor of an all-out war, but some loud disagreements don’t scare me.”
“I’ve disagreed with William, but I always come away feeling bad. I don’t like to fight.”
“It’s not about liking to fight necessarily. It’s about both parties knowing it’s safe to have their own ideas and if need be, to express them. It’s about knowing that you love each other, even when you don’t like each other. Anyway, that’s how I think about disagreements.”
“It’s a shame that Arel didn’t get to know the real you.”
“Why?”
“Because you’d have been a good match for his stubbornness. I also think you’d have given him room to be himself. Not many people are like you, Elise. You’re special.”
“Thanks, and how about you and William? Are you two a good match?”
Annabel sat very still and took her time before answering. “I’m not sure.”
“Do you know what I think?”
“What?”
“That the two of you are going to have a very long and happy marriage.”
“Why do you say that?”
Elise ran her hand over Freddie’s fur, calming some muscle twitches. “It just happens sometimes. My intuition kicks in, and things that I feel often turn out to be true.”
Annabel smiled and stood up. “So when should we have this party?”
Elise stretched and stood up too. “I’d like to do what Peggy does and make it somewhat spontaneous. Why don’t I call everyone in the morning? It’ll be short notice, but maybe people can make it on Saturday night.”
“That sounds wonderful.”
* * * * *
Arel slipped his phone into his pocket and headed towards the living area. He’d given Elise a tentative “yes” regarding her party invitation. But he wanted to make sure that Claire was agreeable. When he walked into the room, she lowered her book.
“You look like something is on your mind,” she said as she turned a page.
“My neighbor, Elise, is having a get-together tomorrow night. We’re invited.”
Claire shrugged. “Sure, why not? As long as we don’t stay too long.”
“You’ll get a chance to meet some of my friends. You’ve been here for a bit, and I think they’re eager to get to know you.”
Claire paused and looked up. “I’m sorry that I haven’t had the time to meet them sooner.”
“It’s fine. I think they’re used to me being overly private.”
“Arel?”
Arel stopped immediately and braced himself. When Claire used that tone and his name, she usually had something important she wanted to tell him. “Yes? What is it?”
“You know that has to change.”
He glanced around. “What has to change?”
“Your ideas about personal space. When people go on digs or volunteer for projects in poverty-stricken areas, there isn’t much privacy.”
“But what about us? Don’t we need time to ourselves? Don’t you want us to get to know each other a little better?”
Claire patted the cushion next to her. “One of the best ways to get to know someone is to work with them in the field.”
Arel smiled back. “Forget the field work, I’d like to start right now.” He sat down and reached out for her hand. He studied her slender fingers and kissed her palm. Carefully, he cradled her hand close to his chest. “Everything about you is perfect, do you know that?”
Claire laughed. “Yes, as a matter of fact, I do. I can’t tell you how many men have told me the same thing.”
Arel replaced her hand on the cushion and sat up stiffly. “So I guess I remind you of a whole string of guys who annoyed you.”
Claire waved his statement off. “Oh stop it. You’re letting your feelings get bruised again. You need to toughen up a little, my darling. Besides, I’m not with any of those other men. I chose to be with you.”
“That’s true, but I don’t think you’ve ever told me why.”
“Maybe I feel that there’s so much more to you than with most. I think you’re someone who can achieve great things. Together, we’ll make a wonderful team.”
“That’s not exactly romantic, is it?”
Claire gave him an impatient sigh. “I think you’re letting your libido get mixed up with reality. When it comes to the business of day to day living, teamwork is much more important.”
“When I mentioned romance, I was thinking about more than my libido, Claire. I love you.”
“Love! What does that mean?”
“It means I’d do anything I could to make you happy.”
Claire’s eyes softened for a brief moment. “Poor Arel, you have such an attachment to the personal. And I appreciate that, but when I think of love, it goes beyond you and me. Love means being there for those who have no one. Do you understand?”
“I don’t think so.”
“It’s okay. It takes time to learn what I’m trying to teach you.”
“I feel like I should be in a classroom.”
Claire laughed. “Don’t start pouting, please. I don’t find that to be an attractive trait in a man. Instead, do something constructive. Read about what it means to be a volunteer. Inform yourself about this planet and what needs doing.”
Arel stood up and looked at his bride-to-be. “I don’t know much about your world, do I?”
“No, but maybe that’s just as well. When we begin working together, you’ll start fresh. You won’t have any bad habits that need correction.”
“What bad habits could a volunteer have? I’d think they’d be very nice people.”
“Oh, you’d be surprised at how hard it is to work with some people. They can be real nightmares. Happily, from what I’ve seen, you’re very willing to learn, and you don’t balk at taking orders.”
Arel started for the hall. “With that in mind, I better get started on being informed.” As he retreated to his bedroom, he thought about Claire’s description of their future together. It almost sounded as if he was joining the army instead of getting married.
He rubbed his temples as he made his way to the bathroom. With a headache coming on, he needed to find an icepack he had in his vanity. If the headache got really bad, the cold would help to dull the pain. Unfortunately, he didn’t have anything around to lessen his doubts and fears. With Claire at the helm, guiding his every step, he was headed for an alien world he’d never contemplated or wanted to contemplate.
Thirty-Two
ROLPHE FOUND THAT prayer filled his body with a lightness of spirit and added to the joy he felt when he painted. And his prayers flowed out so naturally. It was easy to envision William getting back on track with his life. William had proven who he was, a man of honor and courage. Before he engaged Arel in battle, he swore that he would not harm Arel or any of his soldiers. And in the end, he accomplished his goal. With angelic assistance, William thwarted Arel’s attempt at playing the bad guy. He saved those who’d been caught up in Arel’s twisted plans. In the aftermath of all that conflict, Rolphe was sure William would once again overcome any inner demons.
What Rolphe hadn’t expected was an emotional upheaval in his own life. As he painted and prayed and thought about William’s noble nature, his own nature and past looked anything but noble. He’d once been a soldier too. In fact, he’d spent years fighting on one battlefield after another. But never once had he known glory. No matter how man
y of the enemy he killed, he only felt more shame and loss of self.
He’d made peace with those memories since knowing Arel, Michael and Carey. Now, they began to haunt him again. And for some reason, he felt the need to talk to William about them.
* * * * *
William quickly made his way to the front entrance. With narrowed brows and frayed nerves, he was in no shape for visitors. Whatever he’d stirred up in his gut was getting more agitated by the day. His body refused to relax. He did his best to ignore the situation, but denial was becoming a losing battle.
At least Annabel wasn’t around to witness the state he was in. Her decision to extend her stay in Chicago was a small respite. Otherwise she’d be hovering over him, letting him know how worried she was. Still, when they were talking on the phone, he felt compelled to tell her how much he loved her. He was saying goodbye to her when he heard someone pounding on his door. Whoever his visitor was, they sounded out their urgency in no uncertain terms.
As he was about to reach for the door knob, he noted that his hand hesitated. In fact, every muscle in his body was on alert. That’s when he realized who his visitor was. His scowl deepened as he quickly undid the latch and swung open the door. His reward was a very tall, very large man who stood looking down at him. “Rolphe, what a surprise.”
Rolphe took a step back and bowed his head. “Hello, William.”
William hadn’t seen Rolphe since he and Annabel accompanied Arel to Paris. He wasn’t anxious to see him now. The man had been an ally in the past, and when he was around William, the man tried his best to demonstrate a penitent attitude. It was warranted. William had been at Rolphe’s mercy on two occasions. Irrational or not, William’s gut sent out warnings to stay vigilant. “What brings you to London?” he asked as he reluctantly showed his guest into the living room.
Instead of answering, Rolphe quickly took a seat on the sofa. As he settled into the confines of the couch, he checked out his surroundings with darting eyes. When they came to rest on William, they softened. “You and Annabel have a very nice home.”
