No Looking Back

by Kate L. Mary

  We remained silent, watching from our hiding spot as the standoff continued. The first man who’d stepped out of the car—the leader, I assumed—waved to someone behind him, and another man pulled himself from the crowd. My back straightened at the sight of him and I curled my hands into fists. No. It couldn’t be. I squinted as if that would make his face change, but it didn’t. Had he come here to get revenge? Had he brought these men to our settlement?

  “What is it?” Landon asked. “Do you know him?”

  “Max. He used to be with us,” I whispered, watching as he approached our guards. “We kicked him out last fall.”

  “Why? What did he do? Is he dangerous?”

  “I didn’t think so,” I said. “At least not to us. He was hitting his wife and everyone knew it. We live in such close quarters now that we could hear them fighting at night. The council and I approached him, and her, and tried to work it out. He told us to mind our own business and she didn’t want our help. We couldn’t just let them stay, though. It was making everyone uncomfortable.” I swallowed, thinking about the day we’d escorted them out the gate, leaving them to find their own way or die. “We banished them. I didn’t actually think they’d survive the winter.”

  “Well, they did, or at least he did, and it looks like he found himself a new group, too.”

  A shudder shook my body when I thought about the kind of people who would welcome a wife beater into their group. No one good, that was for sure.

  Just as I was thinking that, a crack echoed through the air. I jerked at the sound, and when Bill dropped to the ground, I had to shove my clenched fist in my mouth to stifle a scream.

  Landon put his arm around me. “It’s okay.”

  “No.” I sucked in a few mouthfuls of air, trying to stay calm. “They just shot Bill. They shot him, Landon!”

  “And they’ll shoot more people if your friends don’t open those gates.”

  He was right. We had to open them.

  I started to stand, but Landon held me back. “No, April.”

  “I have to go out there. I have to tell Devon and the others to open the gate. To let them in before more people get killed.”

  “You need to stay here and watch. Right now, you and I are the only hope your people have of defeating these guys.”

  I looked at him with wide, terrified eyes, tears brimming in them as I thought about Bill’s body lying on the ground, slowly turning cold, and found myself wondering who would be next.

  “What can we do?”

  “I don’t know.” Landon gave me a squeeze. “But I know we have the element of surprise right now, and we don’t want to give that up.”

  We stayed huddled together behind the bushes, watching the scene play out. It didn’t take long for tensions to rise, and as the seconds slipped away, the voices grew louder, making it possible to catch a few words here and there.

  “You want everyone you love to die?” the man in charge said, his voice coming out like a growl.

  Devon and Trish stood in front of him, looking as unyielding as a brick wall. Next to them stood Matt, and I saw his mouth move, but I only managed to catch a few words.

  “…won’t give up…our home…leave…”

  My own body tensed, because even without hearing the entire sentence, I knew Matt had told the man in front of him that he wasn’t giving up without a fight, and I also knew what that would mean.

  The leader’s mouth scrunched up, forming a sneer that I could make out clearly even from all the way across the road, and it turned my blood cold. A second later another gunshot rang through the air, only this time, Devon’s body dropped to the ground.

  “No!”

  The strangled cry that came out of my mouth was muffled by Landon’s chest when he pulled me against him. Tears filled my eyes, and my shoulders shook as painful sobs broke out of me. Not Devon. They couldn’t have shot Devon.

  “Shhh,” Landon murmured in my ear. “Stay calm. Stay in control.”

  This man had been my rock for years when we were children, and later on when we were dating, but I still didn’t know how he was able to maintain control in the face of something so horrible. Even if he hadn’t known Devon and Bill personally, we’d just watched two men get killed, and it seemed to have fazed Landon very little.

  I untangled myself from his grasp and looked up at him. “How can you be so calm?”

  “I have to be.” His hands were still on my shoulders, and when he looked down, it seemed as if his brown eyes had aged ten years in the last few seconds. “If you lose control, you die. That’s something I’ve witnessed firsthand. I’m not going to let it happen to me, and I sure as hell won’t let it happen to you. ”

  I wanted to ask what he meant, to hear everything he’d been through over the last eight months so I could understand the man in front of me. He was a person I’d known so well in the before, but now, we were more like strangers.

  A shout echoed through the air and we both turned to face the road just as the gate swung open. The three people from my group had their arms up, and a few men from the new group held them at gunpoint while the others returned to their cars. In seconds, the vehicles had driven through the open gate, and the raiders followed wearing satisfied sneers, forcing my people inside under threat of death. Three men stayed behind to stand guard, and the sight of their automatic weapons turned my blood to ice.

  We didn’t have any guns like that. We had rifles and handguns, things the average person used for hunting or target practice. Hell, we’d even raided the local police station, and while we’d gotten some useful things, this was a small town. They didn’t have automatic weapons. The guns this group had looked like something you saw soldiers on TV toting around, and I instinctively knew that unless we could figure out a way to outsmart these men, we would be no match for them.

  “We need to get someplace safe for the time being,” Landon murmured. “After that, I don’t know what. Come up with a plan.”

  I tore my gaze from the gate and focused on him. “I don’t know how much help we’re going to be considering there are only two of us, but we have weapons hidden out here. In case of an emergency.”

  Landon’s eyes light up. “Where?”

  “In the old optometrist’s building.”

  “Next to Fox’s Pizza,” Landon murmured.

  “Yeah.”

  When he rubbed his chin, the scratchy fibers of his beard scratched against his palm. “That’s something at least.”

  “Will it do us any good?”

  “I don’t know, but we’ll figure something out.”

  The confidence in his tone gave me hope, even if it was only a sliver.

  Chapter 9

  We moved back down the hill a little so we were lower and less likely to be seen by the raiders, and I found myself feeling like I was hanging off the side of a mountain. Below us, the zombies still standing groaned and moaned, their cries growing louder the longer we stayed where we were, while above us and across the street, the men who’d killed two of my friends stood guard. I was trapped, like a fly in a spider web, and I didn’t like it. I itched to run for safety, but I wasn’t sure where that might be.

  “What are you thinking?” I asked, keeping my voice low so I didn’t rile the dead up even more.

  “We need to get to those weapons, but I want to wait until dark. We’re too out in the open right now. It’s too risky.” Landon looked down, his gaze moving over the dead. “And we need to get out of here before they draw the attention of those assholes.”

  He looked to our right, over to where the old West Milton Inn loomed. It had been a grand building at one time, big and white, and even though it hadn’t been open in more than a dozen years, the owners had kept it maintained. The windows had been boarded up before the virus, probably to keep them from breaking and to discourage vandals, but the exterior had been maintained.

  Now, though, it looked like every other place in town. Dead branches and leaves from fall littered t
he porch and former parking lot, and the yard was overgrown with weeds. It, like the rest of the neglected buildings, looked on its way to giving up. It was sad after all these years, but inevitable.

  “You think we can get in there?” Landon asked, nodding to the building.

  “It didn’t get looted like every other place, so it won’t be easy or fast, but I don’t see why not. Since it had been empty for years, we avoided it when we first started searching houses.”

  “That means it will be secure at least,” Landon said, then nodded as he started moving to the right, climbing his way along the side of the hill. “Be careful.”

  I looked down again and shuddered when my gaze met that of a decaying man with only a few stringy gray hairs on his torn scalp. His milky eyes widened at the attention, and he reached up, clawing at the hill even though there was a good five feet of space between us.

  I tore my gaze from the dead man and followed Landon, clinging to the weeds and dirt as I moved toward the house. Below us, the dead tried to follow our progress, but they were uncoordinated and not paying attention, and with every step more of them seemed to trip and fall. Over each other, over the steps, over the bodies littering the stairs, and even over their own feet. Even though eventually a few of them would get it together enough to make it up the stairs, it would give us time to get over to the building, and if we were lucky, we’d make it inside before any of the dead managed to claw their way to us.

  Rock and bits of dirt, even a few weeds, fell as we moved, dropping onto the heads of the zombies trying to get at us. I did my best to focus on where I was going, though, avoiding looking down, and having Landon in front of me helped.

  We made it to the top of the staircase and he dropped down, and the sound of his feet hitting the cement seemed loud even surrounded by the moaning of the dead. They were still scrambling, and a few had even made it to their feet, but the need to sink their teeth into us made it impossible for them to concentrate on their surroundings, and they were still falling over each other.

  “Come on,” Landon urged, waving for me to come down.

  I did as I was told, dropping beside him with a thud that vibrated through my body, and the second I was down, he had a hold of my hand and was pulling on me. Urging me to move as he climbed the stairs and left the dead behind.

  Their moans faded as we made it around the curve, but we both knew it was temporary. We’d come up behind the old building and in front of us was an overhang where a car could drive up, and beneath it a door that hopefully led to safety, assuming we could get it open fast enough. We needed to get in, but we didn’t want to damage the door so much that we couldn’t get it closed. Normally, we’d break a window and try to unlatch the door that way, but since all the windows were covered, that was impossible. Which meant trying to pry the door open.

  “Stand back,” Landon said, releasing my hand.

  I did as I was told, holding my breath as I looked back and forth between him and the walkway at our backs. I could still hear the dead, but they weren’t in sight. Yet. They would be, though. It was only a matter of time.

  Landon backed up enough to give him space, and then lifted his leg so he could slam the heel of his boot against the door. It hit right next to the doorknob, and there was a crack, like wood splitting, but it didn’t budge. So Landon did it again, grunting with the impact, and then a third time, and finally the door burst open in a splintering of wood.

  “In,” was all he said when he grabbed my arm and pushed me forward.

  I stumbled a few steps before regaining my momentum, and just before I stepped through the now open door, I looked back and saw the first few zombies stumble into view.

  Landon was two steps behind me, and the second he was inside he slammed the door, plunging us into dusty darkness, and leaned against it, putting all of his two hundred pound body into keeping it shut.

  “We need something to put in front of it.”

  “I’m on it,” I said.

  The wood covering the windows succeeded in blocking out every sliver of light, but thankfully I had my backpack and my emergency flashlight with me. Only my hands were shaking and I had a difficult time getting my bag open, and by the time I did the thudding of my heart made it impossible to know if the dead were banging on the door or if it was just the blood pounding in my ears. Either way, it didn’t matter. We needed something to wedge against the door. And now.

  I flicked the flashlight on and panned it around, praying the owners had used this building to store something. Old furniture they’d inherited from a dead relative would be especially helpful right now. Dark figures loomed in the shadows to my right, and I swung my flashlight toward them to find piles of boxes. I blinked, unsure of what I was seeing, and then focused enough to realize they had names of long-gone food companies on them. That was when I remembered that the people who’d owned this building had also owned the small grocery store on the other side of town.

  “Here,” I said as I dashed for the boxes.

  I had to set my flashlight down on one pile to free up my hands, and when I did, I grabbed the nearest box. It was heavy, filled with canned goods probably, and I groaned under the weight as I hurried to where Landon stood waiting.

  “Is that food?” he asked in disbelief.

  I set the box down with a loud huff. “Yeah. I guess we were idiots for not searching this building. I’d forgotten the owners of B&B also owned this place.”

  I’d already turned and was headed back to get another box when Landon said, “When did that happen?”

  “I don’t know.” I lugged another box up. “While you were gone.”

  When I’d set the second box down, Landon nodded to the door. “You stay here and lean against it. I can move the boxes faster.”

  I’d argue, but he was right. The boxes were heavy and he could carry more than twice what I could.

  I leaned on the door, putting my back against it and pressing my heels into the ground. Before I’d been unsure if the thudding in my ears was the dead trying to get in or my pounding heart, but now that I’d calmed a little, I knew it had been the first one. Maybe the zombies hadn’t seen where we went. Maybe they were out there stumbling around, trying to find us. Maybe they’d wander off and we’d have a clear shot to the optometrist once the sun went down.

  Landon brought two boxes back on his first trip, and another two after that. Once we had a good pile, I joined him in lugging the boxes across the dark room, marveling at how much was stored here. Not only were there canned goods, but there were also boxes filled with snack food, too, the kind that lasted for years. Chips, snack cakes, nuts, beef jerky, and dozens of other things. When I lifted a box that surprised me with how light it was, I looked down to find the image of a familiar yellow, spongy snack cake on the side and laughed out loud.

  “What?” Landon set the two boxes he was carrying down and turned to face me, huffing from the exertion of moving the boxes.

  “Tallahassee would be thrilled if he was here.” I lifted the box so he could see it.

  Landon grinned. “I think of Zombieland every time I come across a Twinkie.”

  I set the box I was carrying on top of the others and stepped back. We’d moved two whole piles and there was enough in front of the door now that we would most likely be okay, or at least have plenty of time to retreat into another part of the building before the dead broke in.

  Now that we were finished, I took another good look around the room. “It’s strange that there’s so much food here. I mean, when things got bad and travel was cut off, the shelves in most stores were practically bare.”

  “Maybe they stashed it here for themselves when they realized the end was coming,” Landon said. “So they had food in case they survived the virus.”

  “Maybe,” I said as I panned my flashlight around.

  It was a good theory. Nearly all the boxes contained non-perishable food items, and a lot of it was canned.

  I paused when the beam of my
flashlight illuminated a stack of boxes at the back of the room, smiling to myself.

  “Take a look at that.”

  Landon followed my gaze, grinning when he saw what I was referring to. “I guess they wanted to make sure they were very prepared for the end of the world.”

  “I understand.”

  I headed over with Landon following behind, and inspected the boxes of beer and wine. There had to be nearly a dozen cases back here, and it wasn’t the cheap stuff, either.

  “Huh,” Landon said as he ripped a box open and pulled one of the bottles out. “This stuff is hard to find.”

  “They’d started carrying a pretty good selection of craft beer,” I replied. “I’m not a beer drinker, but Michael loved going in there.”

  My brother’s name almost stuck in my throat and I had to close my eyes. I hadn’t spoken about my family in so long, mainly because I lived with a group of people who hadn’t know any of them, and Landon’s sudden reappearance had brought all kinds of memories and feelings to the surface.

  He put his hand on my shoulder. “I’m sorry, April.”

  “So am I.” I let out a deep breath and opened my eyes.

  I turned to face him and our eyes met, and it was like being transported to the past. To a time before a virus had destroyed the world, back when the idea of the dead coming back was as preposterous as an alien invasion. Back to a time when I thought this man and I would be together forever.

  “I’m glad you’re here,” I said.

  Landon gave me a sad smile. “So am I.”

  Like dozens of other times since his return a short time ago, he captured me with his gaze. Now that we were momentarily out of danger, I couldn’t help thinking about that kiss again, and about Landon’s promise that there would be more.

  My gaze moved to his lips, and I knew he noticed because he sucked in a deep breath. The timing was wrong, bad, but then again, we didn’t have anything else to do right now.