Goody Two-Shoes

by Anonymous

  Commonly called,

  Old GOODY TWO-SHOES.

  ------------------------ PART I. ------------------------

  INTRODUCTION. By the Editor.

  All the World must allow, that _Two Shoes_ was not her real Name.No; her Father's Name was _Meanwell_; and he was for many Years aconsiderable Farmer in the Parish where _Margery_ was born; butby the Misfortunes which he met with in Business, and the wickedPersecutions of Sir _Timothy Gripe_, and an over-grown Farmercalled _Graspall_, he was effectually ruined.

  The Case was thus. The Parish of _Mouldwell_ where they lived,had for many Ages been let by the Lord of the Manor into twelvedifferent Farms, in which the Tenants lived comfortably, brought uplarge Families, and carefully supported the poor People who labouredfor them; until the Estate by Marriage and by Death came into theHands of Sir _Timothy_.

  This Gentleman, who loved himself better than all his Neighbours,thought it less Trouble to write one Receipt for his Rent than twelve,and Farmer _Graspall_ offering to take all the Farms as the Leasesexpired, Sir _Timothy_ agreed with him, and in Process of Time he waspossessed of every Farm, but that occupied by little _Margery's_Father; which he also wanted; for as Mr. _Meanwell_ was a charitablegood Man, he stood up for the Poor at the Parish Meetings, and wasunwilling to have them oppressed by Sir _Timothy_, and thisavaricious Farmer.--Judge, oh kind, humane and courteous Reader, whata terrible Situation the Poor must be in, when this covetous Man wasperpetual Overseer, and every Thing for their Maintenance was drawnfrom his hard Heart and cruel Hand. But he was not only perpetualOverseer, but perpetual Church-warden; and judge, oh ye Christians,what State the Church must be in, when supported by a Man withoutReligion or Virtue. He was also perpetual Surveyor of the Highways,and what Sort of Roads he kept up for the Convenience of Travellers,those best know who have had the Misfortune to be obliged to passthro' that Parish.--Complaints indeed were made, but to what Purposeare Complaints, when brought against a Man, who can hunt, drink, andsmoak with the Lord of the Manor, who is also the Justice of Peace?

  The Opposition which little _Margery's_ Father made to this Man'sTyranny, gave Offence to Sir _Timothy_, who endeavoured to forcehim out of his Farm; and to oblige him to throw up the Lease, orderedboth a Brick Kiln and a Dog-kennel to be erected in the Farmer'sOrchard. This was contrary to Law, and a Suit was commenced, in which_Margery's_ Father got the better. The same Offence was againcommitted three different Times, and as many Actions brought, in allof which the Farmer had a Verdict and Costs paid him; butnotwithstanding these Advantages, the Law was so expensive, that hewas ruined in the Contest, and obliged to give up all he had to hisCreditors; which effectually answered the Purpose of Sir_Timothy_, who erected those Nuisances in the Farmer's Orchardwith that Intention only. Ah, my dear Reader, we brag of Liberty, andboast of our Laws: but the Blessings of the one, and the Protection ofthe other, seldom fall to the Lot of the Poor; and especially when arich Man is their Adversary. How, in the Name of Goodness, can a poorWretch obtain Redress, when thirty Pounds are insufficient to try hisCause? Where is he to find Money to see Council, or how can he pleadhis Cause himself (even if he was permitted) when our Laws are soobscure, and so multiplied, that an Abridgment of them cannot becontained in fifty Volumes in Folio?

  As soon as Mr. _Meanwell_ had called together his Creditors, Sir_Timothy_ seized for a Year's Rent, and turned the Farmer, hisWife, little _Margery_, and her Brother out of Doors, without anyof the Necessaries of Life to support them.

  This elated the Heart of Mr. _Graspall_, this crowned his Hopes,and filled the Measure of his Iniquity; for besides gratifying hisRevenge, this Man's Overthrow gave him the sole Dominion of the Poor,whom he depressed and abused in a Manner too horrible to mention.

  _Margery's_ Father flew into another Parish for Succour, and allthose who were able to move left their Dwellings and sought Employmentelsewhere, as they found it would be impossible to live under theTyranny of two such People. The very old, the very lame and the blindwere obliged to stay behind, and whether they were starved, or whatbecame of them, History does not say; but the Character of the greatSir _Timothy_, and his avaricious Tenant, were so infamous, thatnobody would work for them by the Day, and Servants were afraid toengage themselves by the Year, lest any unforeseen Accident shouldleave them Parishioners in a Place, where they knew they must perishmiserably; so that great Part of the Land lay untilled for some Years,which was deemed a just Reward for such diabolical Proceedings.

  But what, says the Reader, can occasion all this? Do you intend thisfor Children, Mr. NEWBERY? Why, do you suppose this is written by Mr.NEWBERY, Sir? This may come from another Hand. This is not the Book,Sir, mentioned in the Title, but the Introduction to that Book; and itis intended, Sir, not for those Sort of Children, but for Children ofsix Feet high, of which, as my Friend has justly observed, there aremany Millions in the Kingdom; and these Reflections, Sir, have beenrendered necessary, by the unaccountable and diabolical Scheme whichmany Gentlemen now give into, of laying a Number of Farms into one,and very often of a whole Parish into one Farm; which in the End mustreduce the common People to a State of Vassalage, worse than thatunder the Barons of old, or of the Clans in _Scotland_; and willin Time depopulate the Kingdom. But as you are tired of the Subject, Ishall take myself away, and you may visit _Little Margery_. So,Sir, your Servant,

  The EDITOR.

  CHAP. I.

  _How and about Little_ Margery _and her_ Brother.

  Care and Discontent shortened the Days of Little _Margery's_Father.--He was forced from his Family, and seized with a violentFever in a Place where Dr. _James's_ Powder was not to be had,and where he died miserably. _Margery's_ poor Mother survived theLoss of her Husband but a few Days, and died of a broken Heart,leaving _Margery_ and her little Brother to the wide World; but,poor Woman, it would have melted your Heart to have seen howfrequently she heaved up her Head, while she lay speechless, to surveywith languishing Looks her little Orphans, as much as to say, _DoTommy, do Margery, come with me_. They cried, poor Things, and shesighed away her Soul; and I hope is happy.

  It would both have excited your Pity, and have done your Heart good,to have seen how fond these two little ones were of each other, andhow, Hand in Hand, they trotted about. Pray see them.

  They were both very ragged, and _Tommy_ had two Shoes, but_Margery_ had but one. They had nothing, poor Things, to supportthem (not being in their own Parish) but what they picked from theHedges, or got from the poor People, and they lay every Night in aBarn. Their Relations took no Notice of them; no, they were rich, andashamed to own such a poor little ragged Girl as _Margery_, andsuch a dirty little curl-pated Boy as _Tommy_. Our Relations andFriends seldom take Notice of us when we are poor; but as we grow richthey grow fond. And this will always be the Case, while People loveMoney better than Virtue, or better than they do GOD Almighty. Butsuch wicked Folks, who love nothing but Money, and are proud anddespise the Poor, never come to any good in the End, as we shall seeby and by.

  CHAP. II.

  _How and about Mr._ Smith.

  Mr. _Smith_ was a very worthy Clergyman, who lived in the Parishwhere Little _Margery_ and _Tommy_ were born; and having aRelation come to see him, who was a charitable good Man, he sent forthese Children to him. The Gentleman ordered Little _Margery_ anew Pair of Shoes, gave Mr. _Smith_ some Money to buy herCloathes; and said, he would take _Tommy_ and make him a littleSailor; and accordingly had a Jacket and Trowsers made for him, inwhich he now appears. Pray look at him.

  After some Days the Gentleman intended to go to _London_, andtake little _Tommy_ with him, of whom you will know more by andby, for we shall at a proper Time present you with some Part of hisHistory, his Travels and Adventures.

  The Parting between these two little Children was very affectin
g,_Tommy_ cried, and _Margery_ cried, and they kissed eachother an hundred Times. At last _Tommy_ thus wiped off her Tearswith the End of his Jacket, and bid her cry no more, for that he wouldcome to her again, when he returned from Sea. However, as they were sovery fond, the Gentleman would not suffer them to take Leave of eachother; but told _Tommy_ he should ride out with him, and comeback at Night. When night came, Little _Margery_ grew very uneasyabout her Brother, and after sitting up as late as Mr. _Smith_would let her, she went crying to Bed.

  CHAP. III.

  _How Little_ Margery _obtained the Name of_ Goody Two-Shoes, _and what happened in the Parish._

  As soon as Little _Margery_ got up in the Morning, which was veryearly, she ran all round the Village, crying for her Brother; andafter some Time returned greatly distressed. However, at this Instant,the Shoemaker very opportunely came in with the new Shoes, for whichshe had been measured by the Gentleman's Order.

  Nothing could have supported Little _Margery_ under theAffliction she was in for the Loss of her Brother, but the Pleasureshe took in her _two Shoes_. She ran out to Mrs. _Smith_ assoon as they were put on, and stroking down her ragged Apron thus,cried out, _Two Shoes, Mame, see two Shoes_. And so she behavedto all the People she met, and by that Means obtained the Name of_Goody Two-Shoes_, though her Playmates called her _Old GoodyTwo-Shoes_.

  Little _Margery_ was very happy in being with Mr. and Mrs._Smith_, who were very charitable and good to her, and had agreedto breed her up with their Family; but as soon as that Tyrant of theParish, that _Graspall_, heard of her being there, he appliedfirst to Mr. _Smith_, and threatened to reduce his Tythes if hekept her; and after that he spoke to Sir _Timothy_, who sent Mr._Smith_ a peremptory Message by his Servant, that _he shouldsend back_ Meanwell's _Girl to be kept by her Relations, and notharbour her in the Parish_. This so distressed Mr. _Smith_that he shed Tears, and cried, _Lord have Mercy on the Poor!_

  The Prayers of the Righteous fly upwards, and reach unto the Throne ofHeaven, as will be seen in the Sequel.

  Mrs. _Smith_ was also greatly concerned at being thus obliged todiscard poor Little _Margery_. She kissed her and cried; as alsodid Mr. _Smith_, but they were obliged to send her away; for thePeople who had ruined her Father could at any Time have ruined them.

  CHAP. IV.

  _How Little_ Margery _learned to read, and by Degrees taught others._

  Little _Margery_ saw how good, and how wise Mr. _Smith_ was,and concluded, that this was owing to his great Learning, thereforeshe wanted of all Things to learn to read. For this Purpose she usedto meet the little Boys and Girls as they came from School, borrowtheir Books, and sit down and read till they returned;

  By this Means she soon got more Learning than any of her Playmates,and laid the following Scheme for instructing those who were moreignorant than herself. She found, that only the following Letters wererequired to spell all the Words in the World; but as some of theseLetters are large and some small, she with her Knife cut out ofseveral Pieces of Wood ten Setts of each of these:

  a b c d e f g h i j k l m n o p q r (s) s t u v w x y z.

  [Post-processor's note: (s) is an old-English style non-terminatingletter "s".]

  And six Setts of these:

  A B C D E F G H I K L M N O P Q R S T U V W X Y Z.

  And having got an old Spelling-Book, she made her Companions set upall the Words they wanted to spell, and after that she taught them tocompose Sentences. You know what a Sentence is, my Dear, _I will begood_, is a Sentence; and is made up, as you see, of several Words.

  The usual Manner of Spelling, or carrying on the Game, as they calledit, was this: Suppose the Word to be spelt was Plumb Pudding (and whocan suppose a better) the Children were placed in a Circle, and thefirst brought the Letter _P_, the next _l_, the next _u_, the next_m_, and so on till the Whole was spelt; and if any one brought awrong Letter, he was to pay a Fine, or play no more. This was at theirPlay; and every Morning she used to go round to teach the Childrenwith these Rattle-traps in a Basket, as you see in the Print.

  I once went her Rounds with her, and was highly diverted, as you maybe, if you please to look into the next Chapter.

  CHAP. V.

  _How Little_ Two-Shoes _became a trotting Tutoress and how she taught her young Pupils._

  It was about seven o'Clock in the Morning when we set out on thisimportant Business, and the first House we came to was Farmer_Wilson's_. See here it is.

  Here _Margery_ stopped, and ran up to the Door, _Tap, tap, tap_. Who'sthere? Only little goody _Two-Shoes_, answered _Margery_, come toteach _Billy_. Oh Little _Goody_, says Mrs. _Wilson_, with Pleasure inher Face, I am glad to see you, _Billy_ wants you sadly, for he haslearned all his Lesson. Then out came the little Boy. _How do doodyTwo-Shoes_, says he, not able to speak plain. Yet this little Boy hadlearned all his Letters; for she threw down this Alphabet mixedtogether thus:

  b d f h k m o q s u w y z [f] a c e g i l n p r t v x j

  and he picked them up, called them by their right Names, and put themall in order thus:

  a b c d e f g h i j k l m n o p q r (s) s t u v w x y z.

  [Post-processor's note: (s) is an old-English style non-terminatingletter "s".]

  She then threw down the Alphabet of Capital Letters in the Manner youhere see them.

  B D F H K M O Q S U W Y Z A C E G I L N P R T V X J.

  and he picked them all up, and having told their Names, placed themthus:

  A B C D E F G H I J K L M N O P Q R S T U V W X Y Z.

  Now, pray little Reader, take this Bodkin, and see if you can pointout the Letters from these mixed Alphabets, and tell how they shouldbe placed as well as little Boy _Billy_.

  The next Place we came to was Farmer _Simpson's_, and here it is.

  _Bow wow, wow_, says the Dog at the Door. Sirrah, says hisMistress, what do you bark at Little _Two-Shoes_. Come in_Madge_; here, _Sally_ wants you sadly, she has learned allher Lesson. Then out came the little one: So _Madge!_ say she; so_Sally!_ answered the other, have you learned your Lesson? Yes,that's what I have, replied the little one in the Country Manner; andimmediately taking the Letters she set up these Syllables:

  ba be bi bo bu, ca ce ci co cu da de di do du, fa fe fi so fu.

  and gave them their exact Sounds as she composed them; after which sheset up the following;

  ac ec ic oc uc, ad ed id od ud af ef if of uf, ag eg ig og ug.

  And pronounced them likewise. She then sung the Cuzz's Chorus (whichmay be found in the _Little Pretty Play Thing_, published by Mr.NEWBERY) and to the same Tune to which it is there set.

  After this, Little _Two-Shoes_ taught her to spell Words of oneSyllable, and she soon set up Pear, Plumb. Top, Ball, Pin, Puss, Dog,Hog, Fawn, Buck, Doe, Lamb, Sheep, Ram, Cow, Bull, Cock, Hen, and manymore.

  The next Place we came to was _Gaffer Cook's_ Cottage; there yousee it before you.

  Here a number of poor Children were met to learn; who all came roundLittle _Margery_ at once; and, having pulled out her Letters, sheasked the little Boy next her, what he had for Dinner? Who answered,_Bread_. (the poor Children in many Places live very hard) Wellthen, says she, set the first Letter. He put up the Letter B, to whichthe next added r, and the next e, the next a, the next d, and it stoodthus, _Bread_.

  And what had you _Polly Comb_ for your Dinner? _Apple-pye_answered the little Girl: Upon which the next in Turn set up a greatA, the two next a p each, and so on till the two Words Apple and Pyewere united and stood thus, _Apple-pye_.

  The next had _Potatoes_, the next _Beef and Turnip_ wh
ichwere spelt with many others, till the Game of Spelling was finished.She then set them another Task, and we proceeded.

  The next Place we came to was Farmer _Thompson's_, where therewere a great many little ones waiting for her.

  So little Mrs. _Goody Two-Shoes_, says one of them, where haveyou been so long? I have been teaching, says she, longer than Iintended, and am afraid I am come too soon for you now. No, but indeedyou are not, replied the other; for I have got my Lesson, and so has_Sally Dawson_, and so has _Harry Wilson_, and so we haveall; and they capered about as if they were overjoyed to see her. Whythen, says she, you are all very good, and GOD Almighty will love you;so let us begin our Lessons. They all huddled round her, and though atthe other Place they were employed about Words and Syllables, here wehad People of much greater Understanding who dealt only in Sentences.

  The Letters being brought upon the Table, one of the little ones setup the following Sentence.

  _The Lord have Mercy upon me, and grant that I may be always good,and say my Prayers, and love the Lord my God with all my Heart, withall my Soul, and with all my Strength; and honour the King, and allgood Men in Authority under him._

  Then the next took the Letters, and composed this Sentence.

  _Lord have Mercy upon me, and grant that I may love my Neighbour asmyself, and do unto all Men as I would have them do unto me, and tellno Lies; but be honest and just in all my Dealings._