Goody Two-Shoes

by Anonymous

  The third composed the following Sentence.

  _The Lord have Mercy upon me, and grant that I may honour my Fatherand Mother, and love my Brothers and Sisters, Relations and Friends,and all my Playmates, and every Body, and endeavour to make themhappy._

  The fourth composed the following.

  _I pray_ GOD _to bless this whole Company, and all our Friends,and all our Enemies._

  To this last _Polly Sullen_ objected, and said, truly, she didnot know why she should pray for her Enemies? Not pray for yourEnemies, says Little _Margery_; yes, you must, you are noChristian, if you don't forgive your Enemies, and do Good for Evil._Polly_ still pouted; upon which Little _Margery_ said,though she was poor, and obliged to lie in a Barn, she would not keepCompany with such a naughty, proud, perverse Girl as _Polly_; andwas going away; however the Difference was made up, and she set themto compose the following

  LESSONS

  For the CONDUCT of LIFE.

  LESSON I.

  He that will thrive, Must rise by Five. He that hath thriv'n, May lie till Seven. Truth may be blam'd, But cannot be sham'd. Tell me with whom you go; And I'll tell what you do. A Friend in your Need, Is a Friend indeed. They ne'er can be wise, Who good Counsel despise.

  LESSON II.

  A wise Head makes a close Mouth. Don't burn your Lips with another Man's Broth. Wit is Folly, unless a wise Man hath the keeping of it. Use soft Words and hard Arguments. Honey catches more Flies than Vinegar. To forget a Wrong is the best Revenge. Patience is a Plaister for all Sores. Where Pride goes, Shame will follow. When Vice enters the Room, Vengeance is near the Door. Industry is Fortune's right Hand, and Frugality her left. Make much of Three-pence, or you ne'er will be worth a Groat.

  LESSON III.

  A Lie stands upon one Leg, but Truth upon two. When a Man talks much, believe but half what he says. Fair Words butter no Parsnips. Bad Company poisons the Mind. A covetous Man is never satisfied. Abundance, like Want, ruins many. Contentment is the best Fortune. A contented Mind is a continual Feast.

  A LESSON in Religion.

  Love GOD, for he is good. Fear GOD, for he is just. Pray to GOD, for all good Things come from him. Praise GOD, for great is his Mercy towards us, and wonderful are all his Works. Those who strive to be good, have GOD on their Side. Those who have GOD for their Friend, shall want nothing. Confess your Sins to GOD, and if you repent he will forgive you. Remember that all you do, is done in the Presence of GOD. The Time will come, my Friends, when we must give Account to GOD, how we on Earth did live.

  A Moral LESSON.

  A good Boy will make a good Man. Honour your Parents, and the World will honour you. Love your Friends, and your Friends will love you. He that swims in Sin, will sink in Sorrow. Learn to live, as you would wish to die. As you expect all Men should deal by you: So deal by them, and give each Man his Due.

  As we were returning Home, we saw a Gentleman, who was very ill,sitting under a shady Tree at the Corner of his Rookery. Though ill,he began to joke with Little _Margery_, and said, laughingly, so,_Goody Two-Shoes_, they tell me you are a cunning little Baggage;pray, can you tell me what I shall do to get well? Yes, Sir, says she,go to Bed when your Rooks do. You see they are going to Rest already:

  Do you so likewise, and get up with them in the morning; earn, as theydo, every Day what you eat, and eat and drink no more than you earn;and you'll get Health and keep it. What should induce the Rooks tofrequent Gentlemens Houses only, but to tell them how to lead aprudent Life? They never build over Cottages or Farm-houses, becausethey see, that these People know how to live without their Admonition.

  _Thus Health and Wit you may improve, Taught by the Tenants of the Grove._

  The Gentleman laughing gave _Margery_ Sixpence; and told her shewas a sensible Hussey.

  CHAP. VI.

  _How the whole Parish was frighted._

  Who does not know Lady _Ducklington_, or who does not know thatshe was buried at this Parish Church?

  Well, I never saw so grand a Funeral in all my Life; but the Moneythey squandered away, would have been better laid out in little Booksfor Children, or in Meat, Drink, and Cloaths for the Poor.

  This if a fine Hearse indeed, and the nodding Plumes on the Horseslook very grand; but what End does that answer, otherwise than todisplay the Pride of the Living, or the Vanity of the Dead. Fie uponsuch Folly, say I, and Heaven grant that those who want more Sense mayhave it.

  But all the Country round came to see the Burying, and it was latebefore the Corpse was interred. After which, in the Night, or ratherabout Four o'Clock in the Morning, the Bells were heard to jingle inthe Steeple, which frightened the People prodigiously, who all thoughtit was Lady _Ducklington_'s Ghost dancing among the Bell-ropes.The People flocked to _Will Dobbins_ the Clerk, and wanted him togo and see what it was; but _William_ said, he was sure it was aGhost, and that he would not offer to open the Door. At length Mr._Long_ the Rector, hearing such an Uproar in the Village, went tothe Clerk, to know why he did not go into the Church; and see who wasthere. I go, Sir, says _William_, why the Ghost would frighten meout of my Wits.--Mrs. _Dobbins_ too cried, and laying hold of herHusband said, he should not be eat up by the Ghost. A Ghost, youBlockheads, says Mr. _Long_ in a Pet, did either of you ever seea Ghost, or know any Body that did? Yes, says the Clerk, my Father didonce in the Shape of a Windmill, and it walked all round the Church ina white Sheet, with Jack Boots on, and had a Gun by its Side insteadof a Sword. A fine Picture of a Ghost truly, says Mr. _Long_,give me the Key of the Church, you Monkey; for I tell you there is nosuch Thing now, whatever may have been formerly.--Then taking the Key,he went to the Church, all the people following him. As soon as he hadopened the Door, what Sort of a Ghost do ye think appeared? Why Little_Two-Shoes_, who being weary, had fallen asleep in one of thePews during the Funeral Service, and was shut in all Night. Sheimmediately asked Mr. _Long_'s Pardon for the Trouble she hadgiven him, told him, she had been locked into the Church, and said,she should not have rung the Bells, but that she was very cold, andhearing Farmer _Boult_'s Man go whistling by with his Horses, shewas in Hopes he would have went to the Clerk for the Key to let herout.

  CHAP. VII.

  _Containing an Account of all the Spirits, or Ghosts, she saw in the Church._

  The People were ashamed to ask Little _Madge_ any Questionsbefore Mr. _Long_, but as soon as he was gone, they all got roundher to satisfy their Curiousity, and desired she would give them aparticular Account of all that she had heard and seen.

  Her TALE.

  I went to the Church, said she, as most of you did last Night, to seethe Burying, and being very weary, I sate me down in Mr._Jones_'s Pew, and fell fast asleep. At Eleven of the Clock Iawoke; which I believe was in some measure occasioned by the Clock'sstriking, for I heard it. I started up, and could not at first tellwhere I was; but after some Time I recollected the Funeral, and soonfound that I was shut in the Church. It was dismal dark, and I couldsee nothing; but while I was standing in the Pew, something jumped upupon me behind, and laid, as I thought, its Hands over myShoulders.--I own, I was a little afraid at first; however, Iconsidered that I had always been constant at Prayers and at Church,and that I had done nobody any Harm, but had endeavoured to do whatGood I could; and then, thought I, what have I to fear? yet I kneeleddown to say my Prayers. As soon as I was on my Knees something verycold, as cold as Marble, ay, as cold as Ice, touched my Neck, whichmade me start; however, I continued my Prayers, and having beggedProtection from Almighty GOD, I found my Spirits come, and I wassensible that I had nothing to fear; for GOD Almighty protects notonly all those who are good, but also all those who endeavour to begood.--Nothing can withstand the Power, and exceed the Goodness of GODAlmighty. Armed with the Confidence of his Protection, I walked downthe Church Isle, when I heard something, pit pat
, pit pat, pit pat,come after me, and something touched my Hand, which seemed as cold asa Marble Monument. I could not think what this was, yet I knew itcould not hurt me, and therefore I made myself easy, but being verycold, and the Church being paved with Stone, which was very damp, Ifelt my Way as well as I could to the Pulpit, in doing which somethingbrushed by me, and almost threw me down. However I was not frightened,for I knew, that GOD Almighty would suffer nothing to hurt me.

  At last, I found out the Pulpit, and having shut too the Door, I laidme down on the Mat and Cushion to sleep; when something thrust andpulled the Door, as I thought for Admittance, which prevented my goingto sleep. At last it cries, _Bow, wow, wow_; and I concluded itmust be Mr. _Saunderson_'s Dog, which had followed me from theirHouse to Church, so I opened the Door, and called _Snip, Snip_,and the Dog jumped up upon me immediately. After this _Snip_ andI lay down together, and had a most comfortable Nap; for when I awokeagain it was almost light. I then walked up and down all the Isles ofthe Church to keep myself warm; and though I went into the Vault, andtrod on Lady _Ducklington's_ Coffin, I saw no Ghost, and Ibelieve it was owing to the Reason Mr. _Long_ has given you,namely, that there is no such Thing to be seen. As to my Part, I wouldas soon lie all Night in the Church as in any other Place; and I amsure that any little Boy or Girl, who is good, and loves GOD Almighty,and keeps his Commandments, may as safely lie in the Church, or theChurch-yard, as any where else, if they take Care not to get Cold; forI am sure there are no Ghosts, either to hurt, or to frighten them;though any one possessed of Fear might have taken Neighbour_Saunderson_'s Dog with his cold Nose for a Ghost; and if theyhad not been undeceived, as I was, would never have thought otherwise.All the Company acknowledged the Justness of the Observation, andthanked Little _Two-Shoes_ for her Advice.

  REFLECTION.

  After this, my dear Children, I hope you will not believe any foolishStories that ignorant, weak, or designing People may tell you about_Ghosts_; for the Tales of _Ghosts_, _Witches_, and _Fairies_, are theFrolicks of a distempered Brain. No wise Man ever saw either of them.Little _Margery_ you see was not afraid; no, she had _good Sense_,and a _good Conscience_, which is a Cure for all these imaginaryEvils.

  CHAP. VIII.

  _Of something which happened to Little_ Two-Shoes_ in a Barn, more dreadful than the Ghost in the Church; and how she returned Good for Evil to her Enemy Sir_ Timothy.

  Some Days after this a more dreadful Accident befel Little _Madge_.She happened to be coming late from teaching, when it rained,thundered, and lightened, and therefore she took Shelter in a Farmer'sBarn at a Distance from the Village. Soon after, the Tempest drove infour Thieves, who, not seeing such a little creep-mouse Girl as_Two-Shoes_, lay down on the Hay next to her, and began to talk overtheir Exploits, and to settle Plans for future Robberies. Little_Margery_ on hearing them, covered herself with Straw. To be sure shewas sadly frighted, but her good Sense taught her, that the onlySecurity she had was in keeping herself concealed; therefore she laidvery still, and breathed very softly. About Four o'Clock these wickedPeople came to a Resolution to break both Sir _William Dove's_ House,and Sir _Timothy Gripe's_, and by Force of Arms to carry off all theirMoney, Plate and Jewels; but as it was thought then too late, theyagreed to defer it till the next Night. After laying this Scheme theyall set out upon their Pranks, which greatly rejoiced _Margery_, as itwould any other little Girl in her Situation. Early in the Morning shewent to Sir _William_, and told him the whole of their Conversation.Upon which, he asked her Name, gave her Something, and bid her call athis House the Day following. She also went to Sir _Timothy_notwithstanding standing he had used her so ill; for she knew it washer Duty to _do Good for Evil_. As soon as he was informed who shewas, he took no Notice of her; upon which she desired to speak to Lady_Gripe_; and having informed her Ladyship of the Affair, she went herWay. This Lady had more Sense than her Husband, which indeed is not asingular Case; for instead of despising Little _Margery_ and herInformation, she privately set People to guard the House. The Robbersdivided themselves, and went about the Time mentioned to both Houses,and were surprized by the Guards, and taken. Upon examining theseWretches, one of which turned Evidence, both Sir _William_ and Sir_Timothy_ found that they owed their Lives to the Discovery made byLittle _Margery_, and the first took great Notice of her, and would nolonger let her lie in a Barn; but Sir _Timothy_ only said, that he wasashamed to owe his Life to the Daughter of one who was his Enemy; sotrue it is, _that a proud Man seldom forgives those he has injured_.

  CHAP. IX.

  _How Little_ Margery _was made Principal of a Country College._

  Mrs. _Williams_, of whom I have given a particular Account in my _NewYear's Gift_, and who kept a College for instructing little Gentlemenand Ladies in the Science of A, B, C, was at this Time very old andinfirm, and wanted to decline that important Trust. This being told toSir _William Dove_, who lived in the Parish, he sent for Mrs._Williams_, and desired she would examine Little _Two-Shoes_, and seewhether she was qualified for the Office.----This was done, and Mrs._Williams_ made the following Report in her Favour, namely, _thatLittle_ Margery _was the best Scholar, and had the best Head, and thebest Heart of any one she had examined_. All the Country had a greatOpinion of Mrs. _Williams_, and this Character gave them also a greatOpinion of Mrs. _Margery_; for so we must now call her.

  This Mrs. _Margery_ thought the happiest Period of her Life; butmore Happiness was in Store for her. GOD Almighty heaps up Blessingsfor all those who love him, and though for a Time he may suffer themto be poor and distressed, and hide his good Purposes from humanSight, yet in the End they are generally crowned with Happinesshere, and no one can doubt of their being so hereafter.

  On this Occasion the following Hymn, or rather a Translation of thetwenty-third Psalm, is said to have been written, and was soon afterpublished in the _Spectator_.

  I.

  The Lord my Pasture shall prepare, And feed me with a Shepherd's Care: His Presence shall my Wants supply, And guard me with a watchful Eye; My Noon-day Walks he shall attend, And all my Midnight Hours defend.

  II.

  When in the sultry Glebe I faint, Or on the thirsty Mountain pant; To fertile Vales and dewy Meads, My weary wand'ring Steps he leads; Where peaceful Rivers, soft and slow, Amid the verdant Landskip flow.

  III.

  Tho' in the Paths of Death I tread, With gloomy Horrors overspread, My stedfast Heart shall fear no ill, For thou, O Lord, art with me still; Thy friendly Crook shall give me Aid, And guide me thro' the dreadful Shade.

  IV.

  Tho' in a bare and rugged Way, Thro' devious lonely Wilds I stray, Thy Bounty shall my Pains beguile: The barren Wilderness shall smile, With sudden Greens & herbage crown'd, And Streams shall murmur all around.

  Here ends the History of Little _Two Shoes_. Those who would knowhow she behaved after she came to be Mrs. _Margery Two-Shoes_must read the Second Part of this Work, in which an Account of theRemainder of her Life, her Marriage, and Death are set forth at large,according to Act of Parliament.

  ====================

  The Renowned

  HISTORY

  OF

  Mrs. MARGERY TWO-SHOES.

  -------------------- PART II. --------------------

  INTRODUCTION.

  In the first Part of this Work, the young Student has read, and I hopewith Pleasure and Improvement, the History of this Lady, while she wasknown and distinguished by the Name of _Little Two-Shoes_; we arenow come to a Period of her Life when that Name was discarded, and amore eminent one bestowed upon her, I mean I mean that of Mrs._Margery
Two-Shoes_: For as she was now President of the A, B, CCollege, it became necessary to exalt her in Title as well as inPlace.

  No sooner was she settled in this Office, but she laid every possibleScheme to promote the Welfare and Happiness of all her Neighbours, andespecially of the Little Ones, in whom she took great Delight, and allthose whose Parents could not afford to pay for their Education, shetaught for nothing, but the Pleasure she had in their Company, for youare to observe, that they were very good, or were soon made so by hergood Management.

  CHAP. I.

  _Of her School, her Ushers, or Assistants, and her Manner of Teaching._

  We have already informed the Reader, that the School where she taught,was that which was before kept by Mrs. _Williams_, whoseCharacter you may find in my _New Year's Gift_. The Room waslarge, and as she knew, that Nature intended Children should be alwaysin Action, she placed her different Letters, or Alphabets, all roundthe School, so that every one was obliged to get up to fetch a Letter,or to spell a Word, when it came to their Turn; which not only keptthem in Health, but fixed the Letters and Points firmly in theirMinds.

  She had the following Assistants or Ushers to help her, and I willtell you how she came by them. Mrs. _Margery_, you must know, wasvery humane and compassionate; and her Tenderness extended not only toall Mankind, but even to all Animals that were not noxious; as your'sought to do, if you would be happy here, and go to Heaven hereafter.These are GOD Almighty's Creatures as well as we. He made both themand us; and for wise Purposes, best known to himself, placed them inthis World to live among us; so that they are our fellow Tenants ofthe Globe. How then can People dare to torture and wantonly destroyGOD Almighty's Creatures? They as well as you are capable of feelingPain, and of receiving Pleasure, and how can you, who want to be madehappy yourself, delight in making your fellow Creatures miserable? Doyou think the poor Birds, whose Nest and young ones that wicked Boy_Dick Wilson_ ran away with Yesterday, do not feel as much Pain,as your Father and Mother would have felt, had any one pulled downtheir House and ran away with you? To be sure they do. Mrs._Two-Shoes_ used to speak of those Things, and of naughty Boysthrowing at Cocks, torturing Flies, and whipping Horses and Dogs, withTears in her Eyes, and would never suffer any one to come to herSchool who did so.