NEVER BEEN A LOVED ONE

by Ramamurthy, Sivaranjini

  “They are brilliant,” said the officer, looking at the mirror.

  “They are lovable too,” said CK, turning ahead completing his sentence. He held Sara’s hand who was still looking at their blurred faces.

  “I’m going to miss them terribly. I felt like a goddess among them, which I had never experienced before,” Sara leaned on CK’s shoulder.

  “You are going to experience it life long with me,” he whispered, being conscious the officer did not hear it. Sara hit his lap, smiling.

  “How long have you been working here?” CK asked, raising up his voice above the jeep engine.

  “For more than 10 years,” the officer replied with pride. “This forest is safe during winter. During summer you can see more animals wandering around the forest,” the officer added, looking at the forest.

  “Animals like?” CK asked with a shivering voice.

  “Like tiger, lion, elephant…” said the officer casually. “Cheetah is famous during summer. They come from different forests,” added the officer. CK thought he was speaking as if he sells the forest. Sara squeezed CK’s hand hearing it.

  “Can we reach safely out of the forest?” CK asked, slowing down his words, keeping his other hand on Sara’s hands.

  “Don’t worry, as I said earlier, it is safe during winter,” assured the officer smiling, looking at his face with droplets of sweat in his forehead through the mirror. “Honey of this forest will be very tasty. Have you ever tasted it? asked the officer trying to change their mind.

  “We had it last night. It was very tasty,” Sara swallowed her saliva as she said it. “I wanted more,” she added slowly.

  “They had packed it for us,” CK leaned to the backseat and picked it up. She licked her lips seeing him remove the leaf’s parcel. He gave her the piece of nest and she grabbed it and squeezed it near her mouth. “Mmm…” Sara tasted it. CK gave a piece to the officer and then he had one. Her sound made the honey even tastier for CK.

  “How did you meet the tribe?” The officer asked, having honey in one hand and driving in another.

  “It’s a long story,” CK exhaled.

  “We have a long way to go. Come on, say it,” urged the officer with curiosity.

  “We sheltered in a love hut. We stayed there for so long being unaware that it belongs to them. One fine day they came to the hut and they tried to kill me but stopped seeing her pregnant. She asked for their help and they contacted you,” said CK, picturing each scene in his mind.

  “Yeah they are so sensitive. They have never spoken to any other outsiders except me. I struggled a lot to make them understand that I am the forest officer and I am for their welfare. They would have accepted you since she is pregnant. They worship pregnant women as god,” said the officer laughing.

  CK and Sara said, “Yes!” recapping their sweet moments with them.

  “Your luck in this badluck is that you got struck here in the beginning of winter,” the officer noted.

  “Yeah,” said CK, nodding his head.

  “It is the start of rainy season here,” the officer added, looking at the forest.

  Hearing the word rainy, Sara folded her lips inward smiling, looking at CK. He could figure out the picture screening in her head.

  “But this is a beautiful forest,” said officer admiring its beauty.

  “True, we are going to surely miss it,” acknowledged CK. “We can come for our child’s first birthday,” he added looking at Sara who was also admiring the forest’s beauty.

  “Of course,we can come on weekends too,” she laughed.

  “You have to see me first and get permission to get into this forest,” the officer raised his voice over their laughter.

  “Sure, it’s only because of you we are able to go home. We will come to see you not only to get permission,” Sara agreed, with her thankful heart. Officer smiled and asked her to take rest so she lay on CK’s lap. He patted her shoulder gently but she couldn’t sleep in excitement of going home. After few hours, she heard people’s voice around while her eyes were still closed. She suddenly got up from his lap and saw people and shops around. Her eyes and mouth widened and CK was admiring her expression. “We are going home!” shouted Sara seeking the passerby attraction and she also hugged him tight forgetting the presence of people and the officer. CK patted her back trying to calm her down. He released her hand from his shoulder and held it tight. He looked in the direction of officer trying to make Sara remember his presence. Sara bit her tongue and hit her forehead with a palm, smiling. Officer was driving as if he didn’t notice anything.

  “I couldn’t control my happiness that I’m going to be with you without fear of my life,” she stated, leaning on his shoulder. Soon they took the highway and within an hour they reached the airport.

  CK wore her mini backpack and got out of the jeep and he helped Sara get out. The officer shook hands with him wishing, “Have a happy journey!” and he asked CK to take care of her.

  “Thank you so much,” Sara cried joyfully.

  “Enough of your thanks I have received enough. I just did my duty. It’s time to celebrate!” The officer beamed with a big smile, which rubbed in on CK and Sara. “Don’t forget about the promise you made that you will meet me with your baby,” he reminded them starting the jeep engine, looking at them.

  “Of course,” they said in chorus, seeing the jeep moving. They waved their hands smiling with thankful eyes. Soon the officer and the jeep went out of sight. CK and Sara sat in the waiting area. They sighed hearing their flight’s delay. Sara was scanning the people around her. Normal people appeared so new to them. Normal things become abnormal at certain point in life , thought CK looking at her scanning eyes. Suddenly he saw her staring at one person. He turned to check it out. It was a pregnant woman with her mom. Sara turned down noticing CK. He saw that she was anxious.

  “What happened baby?” He asked, holding her hand. Sara nodded her head facing down.

  “Comeon, what is it baby?” He slowly moved his finger over her hand.

  “I don’t know how my mom will react seeing me in this condition,” she looked at him, holding back her tears.

  “She will be happy to see you alive and then she will accept you, if she sees me beside you,” he assured her, holding her shoulder firmly. Different thoughts popped up in his mind looking at her moistened eyes. Oh my god, I didn’t tell her about my background. Dad didn’t accept me, how will he accept her? Should I tell her about my background right now? No, it’s not the right time. I don’t want to scare her. I will explain to her once we land. She will also be mentally calm after seeing the hometown. He was brought out from his mind hearing Sara’s voice.

  “CK come, we have to go, they have announced our flight.” CK flinched, got up and picked up the bag.

  “What are you dreaming?” Sara asked while walking.

  “Always of you baby,” he smiled.

  “Stop with these pick-up lines,” Sara laughed and hit his shoulder. “But it suits you.”

  “I know I am the most romantic man in the world!” CK raised his voice and lifted his collar. Hearing his voice, the girl walking ahead moved aside looking weirdly at him. He acted as if he didn’t notice that girl but Sara saw him and looked at that girl peeping beside him they both burst out in laughter. I want you to laugh the same way throughout my life , he thought, looking at her incredibly sculpted teeth.

  As they entered the flight they saw the seat of their last flight. They exchanged a terrified look as they sat in their seat, which was in the middle of the flight.

  “Even if this is hijacked, we will be safe in the middle,” CK joked, wearing his seatbelt.

  “Don’t say that. To come out of that fear I need a lifetime. I can’t face another one,” Sara held her chest, widening her eyes and nodding her head no.

  “I too faced the fear of my life only at that time,” he recapped those dreadful moments.

  After a minute of silence, “I don’t know what my boss will
say because of this long leave,” she whined in a dejected voice.

  “You explain to him about the hijack,” he tried to calm her.

  “You don’t know about him. He would expect me to inform the leave in between the hijack,” she smiled. “He is really crazy. He will ask me to explain and when I open my mouth, he will say don’t argue,” she laughed.

  “Ha, by the way, you have never told me about your work,” Sara enquired, as if she remembered the answer at the last moment in the exam. Oh shit, what should I tell her? Should I tell her or should I not? Just tell her in the flow. But the plan is to explain her after the landing. The mind battle started for CK. She called, “CK? CK!” Sara’s voice stopped his mind battle.

  “We were struggling for our life. Who will remember the work? But, I never expected this journey to be so terrific when I started it,” he tried changing the topic knowing her memory power.

  As he expected, “I knew I would go as one and return as two,” Sara tried to tease him.

  “No, three,” he turned the sentence romantic. She blushed and smiled looking at his eyes full of love.

  “Hey, I asked you about your work and you are diverting me,” she tried to hide her blush. Ugh, why can’t she forget that question? Her mind works at the unwanted time. Okay I’ll manage.

  “When I was dejected in life and felt alone, I found my peace in my job. It was my first job and it’s so close to my heart. It gave a purpose in my life, which I hunted for so long,” he explained with bright eyes. Sara was puzzled by the way CK expressed his love towards his job. Wondering what it would be, Sara was about to shoot the question. The airhostess interrupted her by making the announcement of the flight landing. CK exhaled with relief. Thank god. No, thank you airhostess .

  “We have reached!” He was holding Sara’s hand.

  “Yeah,” she shouted in excitement, which grabbed the attention of others. She closed her mouth with a palm controlling her emotions. CK smiled looking at her excited eyes. They heard the sound of the flight landing. He was watching Sara’s moves. She closed her eyes tight, narrowing her eyebrows and by her expression, it clearly made him understand that she recalls the last landing. He held her hand, which was tightly clutching the seat. Sara opened her eyes, which were red. She turned all around, panicked and breathed a huge sigh of relief after realizing that they are safe.

  “We are safe. We reached baby, relax,” he comforted her with his hand on her shoulder.

  “I am not afraid,” Sara breathed heavily, leaning on his shoulder and covering her face by flipping her hair continuously.

  “Yeah, you are not scared,” he laughed. Sara punched his chest. “It will only hurt you, if you beat my chest,” he smiled.

  “It’s old, try something new. I’ll give you time,” she smiled. CK started to think with his hand on his chin cornering his eyeball and lips. Sara noticed that most of them had left the flight. “Before you think, they will start the next travel,” she laughed and pushed him out of the seat, he smiled.

  “Where are we going? Your home or mine?” Sara asked, wearing her mini backpack.

  “Oh my god, I forgot about it. Why did the flight land? It could have been flying forever. Anyway I have to tell her one day . I have no other choice. It has to be today. How will she react? It lies in the way I explain. Your words should give her the confidence and trust in you.” His mind’s battle was stopped when she pushed him away from the path.

  “He is calling you to move aside many times, what are you dreaming?” Sara asked, clueless and looking at a passenger moving ahead.

  “Of you,” CK whispered, starting his mission. She blushed and walked ahead. Thank god she forgot it but anyway you have to say it. You can do it! Your mom will be always with you giving you strength and above all she loves you. They reached the waiting area and he was continuously rehearsing his lines in his mind. ‘ You know you are the only person whom I love.’ would be good to start. ‘I love you more than me’ would be better than that. He was framing different sentence from his heart for his love and was validating it. He was interrupted by Sara’s voice.

  “We will go to your home and then take your dad along with us to my mom, then she will surely agree.” CK felt his heartbeat rising up hearing it. He rubbed his throat casually where he could feel the heavy heart beat. He was wetting his dry lips with his tongue. He tried to calm himself before speaking up. He looked all around except her knowing she is waiting for his answer.

  Sara was puzzled by CK’s reaction, “Are you too afraid?” She asked, holding his hand.

  “No,” CK said, faking a smile.

  “Do you feel thirsty?” Sara asked. She is so good. I’m lucky to have her. She is helping me consciously and unconsciously, thought CK, noticing a coffee shop at one corner of the airport.

  “Yeah, we will have a coffee and then we will go.” He pointed at the coffee shop.

  “I too feel like having one. It’s been long days without coffee,” Sara beamed looking at the shop. She stretched her hand holding her mini backpack.

  “Have it, I am going to restroom,” said Sara. CK grabbed the bag without even looking at her.

  Noticing it Sara held his arm, “Don’t worry, I’ll be beside you forever. We can handle it we are meant to be together that’s why we could overcome all the struggles. Our love has the power to solve the problem on our way, trust me,” Sara whispered near his ears. He felt the words made her more beautiful. He was looking at her mesmerized and she smiled. He felt those words like a bottle of glucose to him.

  “I love you,” CK said. Sara blushed and turned his shoulder to the coffee shop, hiding it as usual.

  “Go and order the coffee,” Sara pushed him forward. She turned and walked towards the restroom. He turned and looked at her. He saw her smiling. He made sure that she will understand him if he explained well. He was looking at her and he couldn’t move his eyeball away from her. Slowly his vision was losing her presence. He could only see her salwar at a long distance. He felt a different feeling seeing her moving away from his vision. She took a turn and a wall hid her from CK. He felt his heart heavy seeing the wall blocking her presence. Why am I crazy? she had just gone to restroom, before that I should prepare my lines thought CK, diverting his heavy heart. He was reciting the lines as he went to the coffee shop. As he went, he was hugged by two arms from his side. He twitched and turned, relieving the arms. CK couldn’t recognize him.

  “Finally, you are alive. It’s because of the good things your dad did you are here. It was announced that you are dead. Hearing it, his sufferings couldn’t be expressed in words. He didn’t come out of house for months. Only today we forced him to receive a party leader. And by god’s grace, I saw you. I have sent an informer. Your dad will be here in two minutes,” said the guy holding CK’s hand rushing up his words, tears welling up in his eyes and jumping. CK recalled those lines trying to realize if what was happening was real and not a dream. He resisted himself to question about his dad’s feelings to that guy but he couldn’t, so CK held his shoulder and shook him asking, “Are you serious? Did he really feel for me?”

  “How couldn’t he? He was dying in your absence.” They heard a group of people shouting, “See it with your eyes,” the guy turned CK’s shoulder, facing the group.

  He saw a group of people running towards him. Seeing hundreds of people running towards him, his mouth was widening and he couldn’t blink his eyes. He was capturing each second to make it memorable. He felt like an action hero in the climax where people will run towards him. Soon they surrounded him and shouted his dad’s name and paved way. CK got goosebumps hearing the sound. He was expecting to see him in the path. He saw his dad’s hair moving towards him in between the crowd. He thought to run and hug him but still his subconscious didn’t let him still having the doubt whether it’s true. He was frozen. He saw his dad walking fast towards him. CK was stunned seeing him. What he expected from his birth was happening before his eyes. Chandra Sekhar stood frozen s
eeing his son alive. His eyes turned red by scanning CK from top to bottom. His nose began to tremble when he closed his wide opened mouth with his palm. There was pin-drop silence. Sara came out of the restroom. She looked for the coffee stall. She saw a big crowd before it. She walked towards it with a puzzled face, facing down. Suddenly she saw white sleeve holding a sweet box. She lifted her head seeing the white shirt.

  “Have it,” an unknown guy said, smiling. A flight announcement broke the silence between CK and Chandra Sekhar. Only then CK got back to his senses and so did Chandra Sekhar. Chandra Sekhar started to run towards him. Seeing him, CK’s heartbeat increased. He was breathing heavily. He didn’t know when he started to run towards him. Chandra Sekhar was about to slip. CK caught him and balanced him to stand up. Chandra Sekhar held CK’s cheeks with his trembling hand. CK was saving each expression of his. Chandra Sekhar moved his lips inwards, his nose was trembling as did his hands. CK saw lines on his forehead by shrinking his eyebrows and he saw his red eyes, which were about to burst out. Chandra Sekhar kissed his forehead. His tears joined with CK’s and rolled down on CK’s cheeks. CK felt that moment magical. He had imagined this moment from his childhood but had never trusted it to turn out real. He was speechless as his father hugged him tight.

  “I know I’ll see you, but others didn’t trust me. I know your mother will not take you away from me. These days made me realize that she had left you in behalf of her,” his dad said, weeping. CK kept a hand on his dad’s shoulder and patted him cherishing the moment with tears of joy. “I missed you and thank you for giving me one more chance,” his dad hugged him tight, weeping. Those words and the hug made his mind fly. His dad opened his mind by holding his hand, “I am sorry, I was afraid to face you because you made me remember her death. She trusted me and left you to me, but I could have seen her through you, I was a fool.” His dad said and slapped his cheek with CK’s palm. CK tried to pull his hand but he was holding tight.