Aloha in Love

by Watts, Jennifer

  “Kane,” I murmur, pulling my mouth away.

  “Yes, Lani?” He licks a path along my collarbone, finding the dip between my breasts.

  “I just thought I should let you know that this dress is too tight for underwear,” I whisper, and he releases a deep agonizing groan. I turn my attention to the remaining plates of Kalua pork nachos.

  “You’re going to pay for that comment later, Ashley Walsh.” He growls, stalking out to the lanai like a lion. I watch him go, admiring the outline of his firm ass in those sleek black dress pants.

  • • •

  I hold my breath all throughout the first two courses, but I start to relax as my friends’ portions disappear from their plates. It’s a beautiful, clear night, with laughter, wine, and the ocean sparkling beneath the light of the moon. I take a deep breath and inhale the heady scent of plumeria.

  “Pancho, you know this is a tasting menu, right?” Taylor jokes, observing Pancho eating the remains of his wife’s mini poke pizza.

  “I’m a growing boy.” He licks his fingers. “And these grinds are super ono—delicious. For a mainlander, you really seem to know your way around Hawaiian food. Seriously, Red, you broke da mouth with this one.”

  “Thanks, Pancho. I’m flattered.” At least I think so, though I can’t understand Pancho’s Pidgin half the time. “Is broke da mouth a good thing?” I whisper to Kane, who chuckles.

  “It’s a very good thing.” He slings one arm around me and plants a soft kiss on my lips. Pancho stops chewing mid-bite, glancing between Kane and me, his dark eyes noticing the arm draped around my neck.

  “So you and Red?” He asks, but his words are muffled by a mouthful of poke.

  Kane gives me a quick look before answering. “Yes. We’re…hanging out.”

  The pause between his words makes my stomach bottom out, but I slap on a shaky smile. “We’re just having some fun.” The words feel like lead on my tongue, but I think they’re what Kane wants to hear—at least what he’s ready to hear. I glance over at Taylor, who looks neither surprised nor pleased about the news.

  “Congrats, guys.” Lance raises his glass in a toast, but his smile is tinged with the slightest bit of sadness.

  “It’s about time,” Adele chimes in.

  Kayla just snorts. “Yeah, it’s a real shock, with the way you’ve been mind-fucking each other since the day you met.”

  “Mind fucking?” Maui Maude asks, turning to Adele for clarification.

  “Foreplay!” Adele shouts, and I can’t suppress the groan that escapes from my mouth. “Whenever those two were in a room together, you could cut the tension between them with a spoon.”

  “Knife,” Maui Maude corrects. “I think the expression is cut the tension with a knife.”

  Adele just waves her newly manicured hand. “Whatever the utensil, you get the picture.”

  “The Kalua pork is delicious, and I loved the poke pizza as well,” Keiko says. I shoot her a grateful smile, appreciating the change of subject.

  “I hope you guys aren’t full yet, ‘cuz I have another taster on the way—spam and taro eggrolls with pineapple-pepper dipping sauce.” I signal for the waiter to bring out the next appetizer, noticing Lance feed his date the last appetizer by hand, which is both cute and a little disgusting. For about the millionth time tonight, Taylor is staring at Kayla. My heart goes out to him. He tried to engage her in conversation a few times, but she’s a master of the one-word shutdown.

  “This food is resort quality,” Lance’s date pipes up, and I give her a warm smile back. “If you keep cooking like this, maybe the resorts will head up here.”

  “Over my dead body,” Pancho snorts. “Paia is Paia, and it’s going to stay that way.”

  “But why wouldn’t hotels want to set up here?” Maude asks, turning her attention to Pancho. “Lahaina is expensive and busy. I’m sure there’s huge demand on the North Shore.”

  “Paia has zoning districts and prescriptive community plans to avoid negatively impacting the local community,” Taylor explains. “The county made it almost impossible to establish mass developments in Paia, so our piece of Paradise can remain mostly untouched.”

  The conversation conjures up memories of my old life, and a sick feeling grows in the pit of my stomach. I do my best to change the subject. “Okay, who’s ready for my fried coconut shrimp tacos?”

  I get a few whistles, plus one groan from a very stuffed Keiko, who gives her stomach a pat. “I don’t think anything else will fit inside this body.”

  “I don’t know how that’s possible, since Pancho ate most of your food,” Kane says, dryly.

  “Hey now.” Pancho tosses his napkin down. “Tell you what, man, you can have my tacos then, since they’re your favorite.”

  “Tacos are your favorite?” I look at Kane, who just shrugs.

  “I thought Korean beef was your favorite?” Taylor asks.

  “No,” Lance cuts in, “that’s his second favorite.”

  “Makes sense.” Taylor nods. “We used to stuff our faces with tacos after a long day of surfing.”

  “Way back when Kane Keo was the shit on the competitive scene.” Kayla tips her glass in his direction.

  “You surfed competitively?” I ask, my head whipping back-and-forth, as I try to keep up with the conversation.

  “Sort of,” Kane says, looking uncomfortable.

  “He was ranked,” Kayla interjects.

  “He truly could have been one of the greats,” Taylor adds, his tone wistful.

  “Then why did you stop?” The table goes deadly quiet. Kane looks down at his lap, and Taylor glances out towards the ocean. Obviously I’ve entered some kind of dangerous territory. “What else don’t I know about you?” I say, my smile wavering.

  Kane remains calm, but I can sense the shift in mood around the table. Just then, Pancho starts throwing out random facts about Kane, attempting to lighten the mood. He was born and raised in Hana by his grandfather. In high school, they called him Ke alii which means “king,” and he almost joined the military. My friends go around the table sharing details about Kane, while I glom to their stories like a starving woman. I know absolutely nothing about him, no details from his past or plans for his future. I’m not even clear on what motivates his present. The only thing I’m familiar with is his big hard body and oh so talented tongue.

  While I knew not to expect anything from our fling—or thought I did—the realization rocks me all the same. Kane doesn’t value our connection enough to share even the smallest of details, and I’m kicking myself for allowing this to happen. I sink into my chair, deflating like a leaky balloon as the tide comes in on my emotions. Kane glances at me, and I notice how his brow furrows. He doesn’t seem to appreciate not knowing what I’m thinking, but I literally never know where his head is at—ironic to say the least. I do my best to keep up the façade, but my shaky bottom lip betrays me and I take refuge in the kitchen before I burst into tears. Only two more courses to go; then Adele will bring out the coffee and fresh fruit platter for dessert, and by that time, I should be able to slip out unnoticed.

  The last two courses go smoothly, and I collect up all the comment cards. The waiters have already scoured the kitchen and there’s really nothing left to tidy, so I resolve to pick up my dishes and containers in the morning. Adele, deep into the red wine and fully immersed in conversation with Maui Maude, doesn’t give me a hard time about leaving. I say goodbye and thank every guest one by one, whose kind compliments make my eyes water. I wait until Kane is distracted by Taylor before heading inside and grabbing my purse. On the condition that I drop it with her tomorrow morning at Baldwin Beach, Kayla lends me the keys to her car. I limp down the long driveway in her high heels, which are half a size too small and pinch like hell, as I head for the rust-speckled gray Toyota. After a few yanks, I manage to get the driver side door open, hearing it creak like a haunted house.

  “Where do you think you’re going?” His voice cuts through the nig
ht, sending a chill of pleasure down my spine, but I find my resolve before turning to face him.

  “Home, Kane.”

  “I’m taking you home.”

  I sigh dramatically. “No, I’m taking myself home. Can you please just back off, for once?”

  The driveway is unlit and the moon obscured by Adele’s massive home, so I can barely make out Kane’s large silhouette. “What happened back there? I thought everything went perfectly.”

  “You would,” I mumble.

  “What does that even mean?”

  “It’s not important.”

  “Clearly it is, if you’re leaving.”

  “I just want to go home, Kane.”

  He takes a step closer. “Then go home with me.”

  “Why?”

  “What do you mean why?” His silhouette takes another step in my direction.

  “I don’t even know you—that’s why!” We’re both silent as the words sink in. “If tonight showed me anything, it’s that I know nothing about you, Kane Keo. So let’s stop pretending this thing between us is anything besides what it is.”

  “And what is it?” He steps so close that the only thing separating us is the car door.

  “It’s you, Kane Keo, fucking some tourist, at least until you’ve had your fill.”

  He stumbles backwards as if I’ve hit him, his eyes widening like a predator, before letting out a full blown roar. I feel scared—not of him exactly, but of the situation. I want to hop into the car and drive away, but my feet are nailed to the ground.

  “That’s not what this is.”

  Kane pulls me into his arms and slams the car door.

  “Then what is it?”

  “I don’t know yet, but definitely not that.” He scrubs a hand down his face. “Shit, Ashley, I didn’t mean to make you feel like that. I told you…I’m not good at the rest of it, but I want to be. I want to take you out. Please let me take you out.”

  “Don’t do me any favors,” I grumble.

  “Don’t be a smartass,” he shoots back. “I’m taking you out because I want to. Tomorrow. I’ll take care of everything, and I promise to tell you about myself then.”

  “Tomorrow?”

  Kane smiles and nods. “But first I’m taking you home tonight.”

  Before I can protest, he lifts me over his shoulder and smacks my ass. “And you’d better tell Kayla not to expect this dress back, because I’m going to tear it off you with my teeth.” My laugh gets swallowed up by the darkness, as Kane carries me back to the warm glowing light of the house.

  Chapter 16

  The bar is closed on Sundays, so Kane keeps his word and arrives on my doorstep at 9am the next morning. I almost fall over upon glimpsing him at the door. He has shaved his beard to reveal a pair of high cheekbones, square jaw, and one strong straight nose. He has also trimmed his sunlit hair, which rests now just above his ears. I don’t know if the changes in his appearance are a literal attempt at being more open with me, but holy hell is it ever hot.

  He gives me a strange look. “What?”

  Moving closer, I run my hand down his freshly-shaven cheek. “I thought I liked the beard, but you’re even more handsome like this, if that’s even possible.”

  I continue to stare and he actually blushes, which is kind of adorable.

  “You look pretty ono yourself.”

  His eyes scan my white strapless sundress, and I look down at my outfit.

  “Nah, you definitely win. There’s no competition standing next to you.”

  “C’mere,” he says, pulling me against him and taking a deep breath. “Mmm…coconut and jasmine, my favorite.” He buries his nose in my hair, which I’ve pulled to the side and styled into a loose braid.

  “Should we get going?” I ask.

  “We’d better, or else I’ll have you naked on your back in less than sixty seconds.”

  I smack his shoulder. “Play your cards right and maybe you’ll get some at the end of the date. But I want to see how hard you work for it,” I tease. He laughs as I pull the front door closed behind me.

  He walks me around the side of the jeep and helps me in. Once inside, I do up my seatbelt and give him a look. “Where to?”

  “I have a few ideas.” He speeds away into the overcast morning.

  The sun works hard to break through the clouds, but the breeze is rejuvenating and I roll down my window to inhale the fresh air. Kane takes the highway. We drive for about half an hour before pulling up at the Maui Ocean Center, where he parks the car and turns off the engine.

  “I know you’re not a tourist anymore,” he says, “but I feel like you might have missed out on that part.”

  “So we’re tourists for the day?” I say, touched by the gesture, and he gives me a warm smile.

  Kane pays our entry fee, and we spend the first hour exploring the outdoor area and tidal pools. It’s a lovely tropical space with a stunning view, but the wind is impassioned and I’m thankful for having pulled my hair into a braid today. We walk through the shark’s mouth and onwards through the aquariums, stopping to hear a guided talk about the center’s conservation programs. Kane presses his hand against the glass just as a spotted tiger shark glides by, and his face appears faraway as he speaks.

  “I took my son here a few times.”

  “Your son?” I should be surprised by the admission, but I guess I’ve been waiting for this moment. More than anything, I’m grateful that he’s finally opening up.

  “I had a son, but he died.”

  “When?” It’s a strange opening question, but I have so many left to ask, and who knows when Kane will retreat into his shell again.

  “It’ll be seven years in March.” He clears his throat. “He was three years old when he died.”

  “I don’t even know what to say. I’m sorry, Kane. I cannot imagine that.”

  “You can’t imagine it, no, not until it happens.” He looks off into the shark tank. “I still remember how he smelled when I held him up to see the tank—like sunshine and salt and indescribable sweetness.” He sighs and takes the deepest of breaths. “They say it’s instinctual, smell. We’re like animals that way. Before having a kid, I never would’ve thought that was true, but I’m telling you, I could’ve found my boy in a pitch black room with scent alone.”

  Still he stares off into the distance, the turquoise glow of the aquarium highlighting his face. “I remember holding him up to watch the Manta Rays. I remember feeling his soft, chubby arms wrapped around my neck, and the pressure of his small warm body against mine.”

  He’s painting such a vivid picture that I can feel a tear slip out and escape down my cheek. I swipe it away before he notices, not wanting to make the moment about me. I want to ask how his son died, but I chicken out and go with the safer option. “What was his name?”

  “Kaiden.”

  “And his mom?” I’m trying not to push, but curiosity has gotten the best of me.

  “After Kaiden died, she couldn’t deal. She committed suicide.”

  “Oh God…” I cover my mouth with one hand, trying to process how anyone could survive one tragedy after another like that.

  “It was about a year afterwards. We tried our best to stay together, but we were both lost. One night, while I was at the bar, she swallowed a whole bottle of Xanax that the Doctor prescribed for sleep, chasing it down with a bottle of vodka. I found her later that night at home.”

  “Kane…” I sigh out his name at the same time that a group of children walk by in matching yellow bibs, probably on a field trip. Their excited chatter ruffles the air and drowns out my own voice. “To lose them both so close together…”

  “The funny thing is—Kaiden’s death didn’t break us up. We were already broken. We dated in high school. She got pregnant at twenty-one, and we married right after Kaiden was born.” He takes a deep breath, his eyes flitting around the fish tank. “She struggled with mental illness back then, but having a kid hit her hard. Her moods were all ov
er the place already, long before Kaiden died. I used to worry about leaving them alone together, believing she’d make a careless mistake and that would be it, but it was me I needed to worry about.”

  I’m about to ask him more when he pushes himself off the aquarium glass and turns to walk away. “You wanted to know more about me? Well, there it is. That’s why I don’t do relationships. I haven’t dated since my wife died, because how would that work, anyway? It’s not like I’ve had anything to celebrate. Still, I’m a man with limits. I’ll fuck when I have to, but nothing more—I don’t deserve more.”

  “What makes you think that?” I whisper, standing on my tip toes and looping my arms around his neck. To my surprise, Kane gently lowers them to my sides.

  “I don’t deserve happiness. No man should ever bury his child.”

  I know better than to argue right now. Even though I don’t agree with his logic, I understand that the statement is true for him. Besides, his outwardly caustic personality is now starting to make sense.

  “Come on, let’s check out the tropical fish,” he says.

  In his words, I hear everything that he can’t say yet. For now, this is all he’s willing to give, but I’ll take it. Kane holds my hand and tugs me forward, his neutral mask falling right back into place. We leave the ocean center and head for a nearby food truck serving Thai fusion. Kane opts for the pad thai with chicken; I choose ginger shrimp stir-fry and we share an order of veggie spring rolls. He tells me about his grandfather and growing up in Hana. He tells me how he started the bar, his friendship with Taylor—in fact, he talks about everything except the giant pink elephant in the room. As much as I want to continue our conversation from the ocean center, I won’t push him until he’s ready.

  After a late lunch, Kane suggests that we head to Kihei for some shave ice at his favorite place, which turns out to be the cutest outdoor stand, painted in vibrant greens and yellows. We sit side-by-side and share a Papa-Nui-sized order of red raspberry and pineapple. Midway through our feast, it starts to downpour with rain—big, warm, tropical drops that soak through my dress before I even have a chance to think. I laugh and hop off my stool. Kane joins me, unbuttoning his short-sleeved shirt to shake off the wetness. He wrings out the hem and leaves it hanging open, as my eyes find their way to his smooth, muscled stomach and dark trail of hair disappearing beneath his shorts. I take a step closer as the heavy rain comes down in a barrage, running my hand across the hot, damp skin of his chest. He shivers, a low noise rumbling from the back of his throat.