The Stand-In Boyfriend

by Doherty, Emma

  He ends the call and turns to me.

  “Everything okay?”

  He shakes his head, concern written all over his face. “That’s my friend Ethan. We went to camp together when we were little kids and he lives in Texas. He’s going through some real shit.”

  “Yeah?”

  He nods. “Yeah, his mom died last year.”

  My stomach drops. I don’t even know this Ethan kid and my heart breaks for him. I don’t know what I’d do without my mom. I’m hoping I never have to find out. “That’s awful.”

  “Yeah, it was really quick. Anyway, his sister had to move over from the UK to live with him and his dad until she’s 18, and she’s giving Ethan hell. He doesn’t know what to do.”

  “That’s tough.”

  He nods. “Yeah, he really cares about her but she just sounds like she’s so messed up.” He offers me a wry smile. “It’s just the two of them now and from the sound of it, she’ll barely speak to him.”

  “What about their dad?”

  He snorts. “He’s a joke. He treated their mom like crap and is around even less than my parents. Seriously, their dad makes mine look like father of the year.”

  I wince. It must be bad then. I know exactly how it feels to have a father that lets you down.

  “Is he coming to visit?”

  Chase nods. “But not for a while. You’ll really like him. He’s cool.”

  “Does he play soccer?”

  Chase laughs. “That’s all you think about. No, he’s from Texas—he plays football.”

  I grin. “A proper Southern boy?”

  Chase smirks. “Well he’s part British but yeah, you wouldn’t know it. His school won state last year when he was a junior. He’s their quarterback.”

  I’m impressed. Winning state as a junior? And in football in Texas? I know Chase and I both hold high school championships, but soccer isn’t on the same level as football, at least not yet. To win a state championship in Texas, where they live and breathe football? That’s pretty big time.

  It’s like Chase can read my mind. “It’s crazy over there. Football is a religion. Everyone’s obsessed with it. Aaron and I visited him last year and went to one of his games. You wouldn’t believe it, Liv. Thousands and thousands of people showed up just to watch the game—a high school game.”

  “Was it fun?”

  He smiles at the memory. “It was incredible. And the party afterward?” He whistles at the memory. “We’re gonna go back again before the season’s over. You should come.” He pauses, like he just realized what he said. He hesitates for a second. “Would you want to come?”

  I raise my eyebrows in surprise. Planning a trip together is a pretty big deal for a pair who is just pretending to date.

  “We could book early and get cheap flights and we’d just stay at Ethan’s house. There’s tons of room. His house is like twice the size of mine.”

  I gape at him. Chase’s house is the biggest I’ve ever seen. I can’t even fathom how big this kid’s place must be.

  “Seriously, on paper, Ethan has everything you’d want: all-star athlete, all the girls chasing him, and ridiculously rich.”

  I raise an eyebrow at this. Chase is hardly lacking in the money department.

  He rolls his eyes. “His dad makes my family look poor. He’s old-school rich. He owns a worldwide chain of hotels, dealerships, and gas stations. It’s pretty insane.”

  That is insane. And here I was worried about college tuition. Even with that, I know I’m better off than a lot of people out there.

  “But it doesn’t make him happy, you know? He misses his mom a lot.”

  I nod in understanding. All the money in the world isn’t worth losing someone you love. Nothing can replace your mom.

  “He sounds cool.”

  “He is. We’ve kept in touch even though we don’t see each other much.”

  “It’d be cool to meet him.”

  He lights up. “So you’d come? If we planned a trip to Texas you’d come?”

  I nod and am rewarded by a blinding smile that is infectious. Soon we’re just grinning at each other like idiots and I lay back down on the grass so I don’t have to face him and look so completely dopey. He lies down beside me and I close my eyes, totally content in the moment.

  After five minutes he turns to face me. “You know what I’ve been thinking about?”

  I turn my gaze away from the sky to look at him. Things have returned to normal between us ever since we had our fight. We’re hanging out all the time, he’s back to making me laugh and entertaining me, and there have been no more kisses that mess with my brain. I mean, yes, we’ve been holding hands and being affectionate with each other in public, just to keep up the charade, but that’s it, and it’s better. It’s made things a lot clearer in my mind. When I turn to him, he’s staring intently back at me. “What?

  “About the first time I kissed you, in the cafeteria.”

  I actually feel my face heat at the memory—all those eyes on me, the surprise of it, how it wasn’t entirely unpleasant.

  “What about it?”

  “Just that I’m sorry.”

  My brows furrow in surprise. That was all him. He did that so everyone would think we’d hooked up and I’d go along with his idea, and he got what he wanted. Now he regrets it?

  “Um, okay,” I say hesitantly. What else can I say? It’s pretty embarrassing when someone admits they regret kissing you—to your face! “I mean, you didn’t have to. I thought you wanted to.”

  He chuckles. “I don’t regret kissing you, Chapman, just the way it happened—taking you by surprise, pushing you into it. It’s not the way you should have had your first kiss.”

  Hold up—what? “My first kiss?”

  He shifts slightly on the ground. “Well, yeah. I was trying to think if I ever remember you dating anyone and I don’t.”

  “Well how would you know? We weren’t exactly friends.”

  He shifts again and doesn’t look at me. “I don’t know…these things just come out.”

  I turn my gaze back up to the sky. This wasn’t a conversation I was expecting to have. I watch as a plane flies overhead, leaving a trail behind it, and try to focus on that. This isn’t something I’ve ever talked about. The only person I’ve told is Sophie, and only the once. It wasn’t something I was expecting to have to think about, but for whatever reason, I trust Chase. “That wasn’t my first kiss.”

  It takes me another couple of minutes before I have the courage to turn and face him. He doesn’t say anything when I do. He just waits for me, just like he keeps doing—not rushing me, just waiting, just waiting for me to share with him, if and when I want to.

  I take a breath, sit up, and cross my legs. He matches my stance, and I look down at my hands. They automatically start twisting together. I glance at him and his eyes are focused on my fingers. I get the idea he’s figured out that’s my nervous habit. “Jessie was my first kiss,” I eventually manage to spit out.

  He raises his eyebrows in surprise. “What happened?”

  I think back to sophomore year, the night of that party Sophie dragged me to, the way I only stayed because Jessie was there and how we found ourselves together and alone in a corner of the garden.

  “What happened?” Chase asks again, gently.

  I shake my head and force a smile. “I woke up the next day really excited. I stupidly thought we’d be together, but he didn’t even remember it. He was drunk, had no recollection.” I shrug like it doesn’t bother me, like Jessie didn’t shatter my heart that day. “And that was that.”

  “I’m sorry.”

  I shrug again and try to push away the feeling of rejection that has come rushing back. I still remember that day. I didn’t stop crying for hours. “S’okay.”

  Chase reaches out and rests his hand on top of mine, stopping my hands from fidgeting—which I hadn’t even realized I was still doing. “And I’m sorry our kiss in the cafeteria was our first kiss.
You deserved better.”

  I smile. “You’re not what I was expecting, Chase Mitchell.”

  He narrows his eyes at me. “What were you expecting?”

  I shrug. “I don’t know, some hotshot player who thinks he knows everything.”

  His eyes are trained on me. “And what did you get?”

  What did I get? I got a friend. I got someone I’ve come to rely on, someone who is there for me and seems to understand me, someone I can be completely myself with.

  I’m about to open my mouth to tell him this but I stop as another thought springs to my mind. “Why did you never date Sophie?”

  He scrunches up his face, confused.

  “I’m being serious. She had a thing for you for years, and she’s not exactly subtle. You’ve dated tons of other girls at school, and she’s gorgeous, popular…why never her?”

  “Truth?” he asks, his green gaze holding mine.

  I nod.

  “Because she’s your best friend.” My heart thuds in my chest. “And I knew you’d never look twice at someone who had dated your friend.”

  SOPHIE AND I ARE WALKING down the hallway just after lunch, and she has to stop by her locker before we each head to our next class. She’s talking non-stop about Mark, absolutely back in the throes of young love, and I can’t help but laugh—the way she’s talking, you’d think she’d never broken his heart. There was never any doubt they’d get back together eventually, and after I lectured her sufficiently about not taking his feelings for granted, she’s managed to convince me it’s the real deal for them this time.

  She stops at her locker and pulls out a couple of books, shoving them into my hands while she dumps the ones she doesn’t need. I glance up and see Aaron, Jackson, and Brendon walking down the hallway. Aaron spots me, smiles in greeting, and swerves over to us.

  “You guys want to come to my house after school?” he asks. “Thinking of ordering a bunch of food and chilling by the pool.”

  “Is Mark going?” Sophie asks.

  Aaron smirks. “I’ll ask him.”

  Sophie grins at me. “Then definitely count me in.”

  “We said we’d go for food with Jessie,” I remind her.

  Her face falls. “Oh yeah.” She turns to look at Aaron, a plea in her eyes.

  Aaron looks uncomfortable, and I know why. He probably doesn’t care if Jessie is there or not, but Chase will, and Aaron won’t go against Chase.

  Chase. Chase who hinted that he’d watched me play soccer from Ms. Fountain’s classroom. Chase who rejected a hot college girl because he said he already had an awesome girlfriend. Chase who told me he wouldn’t date Sophie because of me. Chase who told me that with so much meaning in his eyes, nearly causing me to stop breathing. Chase who told me that and then acted like it was cool that I immediately froze up and made my excuses and left a few minutes later. Chase who I haven’t spoken to all day.

  “It’s fine,” I jump in. “You go, Soph. I’ll go for food with Jessie on my own.”

  Sophie looks at me like I’m crazy, and Aaron snorts while Jackson and Brendon look on skeptically (which worries me considering they’re not supposed to know anything about my feelings for Jessie and Chase and I are boyfriend and girlfriend as far as they’re concerned). Well, yeah, okay…Chase will like that idea even less than Jessie hanging out at Aaron’s house, but to be honest, I don’t really care. Things are finally somewhat back to normal with Jessie. He hasn’t mentioned breaking up with Courtney again—much to my frustration—but he’s the one who suggested getting food, and I’m not about to bail on him.

  “Actually, Jessie should just come over too,” Aaron says.

  I shake my head. It’s too late now, and besides, I’m pretty sure Jessie just wants to hang out alone—and so do I. I want to find out what’s happening with Courtney, and I could do with putting some distance between me and Chase. “Nah, we already made plans.”

  Sophie turns to me. “You’re right, I’ll be there.”

  “You really don’t have to. You’ll have more fun with Mark.”

  She snorts. “Well I know that, but Chase might have a heart attack thinking of you and Jessie alone together. It’s best I’m there to babysit.”

  I glare at her. What the hell is she talking about? Yes, I know Chase isn’t Jessie’s biggest fan, but she knows Chase and I are only faking it and we definitely do not need a babysitter. Plus, as much as I’d like to think Jessie can’t resist me, he’s proven that’s not the case numerous times. I’m starting to think more and more that Chase and I should just end this, no matter what he says about Courtney and Jessie. I hate to think of us not hanging out together so much, but the more I consider it, the more complicated everything seems to be getting. “Don’t be ridiculous,” I tell her.

  She waves me off and straightens up, looking over my shoulder. I turn to see Abigail approaching with Sarah and Sasha and just about manage to hide my inner groan. She hasn’t said anything to me since Chase talked to her, but I can always feel her glaring at me and I just know she’s waiting for me to mess up in some way.

  “Hey,” she greets Aaron, barely even looking at me. “What time later?”

  Aaron’s eyes swing to me, but I don’t say anything. I don’t care if Abigail hangs out with them tonight. It’s her who’s turning us into rivals, not me. “Um…”

  Abigail’s eyes narrow on him and she turns to me. “What? I’m not even allowed to hang out with my friends now because of you?”

  I blink. “I’m not going.” I force my voice to stay steady. She always makes me so nervous. “You can do what you want.”

  “Oh, thanks Livy—so glad I have your permission.”

  I swallow while Sophie scowls. “Back off,” she tells her.

  “Livy!”

  I turn around and see Hallie hurtling toward me. Her entire face is lit up and she has Maria and Tia trailing after her.

  “Did you hear?” she demands, inching her way into our group so she’s closer to me.

  I shake my head. I have no clue what she’s talking about.

  “Kelly Raynore is coming to town and agreed to run a practice with the team.”

  I swear I nearly fall over. “What?”

  She jumps up and down, the giddiest I’ve ever seen her. “I tweeted her last night to say I loved her and she should come see us when she’s in town and she replied and said she’s here next Wednesday and would love to run a session with us. Coach just confirmed it!”

  “Oh my God!” Kelly Raynore is one of the stars of the US women’s team. She might be far from the best known of female athletes, but she’s one of my heroes, and she’s from right here in Florida. “Oh my God, that’s amazing!”

  “I know!” she tells me excitedly. “I actually love her. I need to go tell the others.”

  She turns around and starts to follow Tia and Maria away when Abigail mutters, “Dyke,” just loud enough for us all to hear.

  I feel like all the air has been sucked out of me. She didn’t really just say that, did she? She did not just say that to my friend.

  Hallie freezes, dead still, and I see Tia and Maria slowly turn around, eyes narrowed in on Abigail. Sophie has her mouth hanging open in disbelief, and Aaron and the rest of the guys are looking at Abigail in disdain. She just gazes around defiantly, not taking it back, not looking guilty. She clearly doesn’t give a damn about what she just said or how much she could have just hurt Hallie.

  “What did you say?” I ask, my voice ice cold.

  Abigail looks bored. “What? It’s not like it’s not true.”

  She has got to be kidding. “Apologize,” I demand firmly.

  Abigail scoffs and turns to face me fully, her eyes meeting mine. “What for? It’s not a lie. We’ve all seen the way she follows Sophie around like a puppy. She might as well just admit it.”

  There’s a shocked gasp from Sophie and when I glance at Hallie, she has her lips pressed together in a thin line as she blinks rapidly, trying to stop the tears
from falling.

  How dare she? How dare she say something like that in front of all these people when she doesn’t even know Hallie? How dare she question Hallie’s sexuality when it’s something Hallie has never even mentioned to her own friends?

  Abigail shrugs like she hasn’t a care in the world. “We all know she’s a dyke. I mean, look at what she wears.”

  That is it. That’s too far.

  “That ‘dyke’ happens to be one of my best friends,” I tell her, stepping closer. My voice might be low, but no one else utters a word and they can all hear what I’m saying. “And why do you think that, huh? Because she doesn’t walk around with her chest, legs, and stomach out all the time? Because she’s stronger than any of the guys here right now and is able to defend herself against anyone and anything? Because she cares more about looking after her grandparents in the morning than spending an hour getting ready for school?” I shake my head. “You didn’t know any of that, did you?” I take another step forward. “Or is it because she’s a soccer player? Because that soccer player took us to state last year. She’s the one who got us there, who dragged all of us along with her and never once blamed any of us when I missed an open goal and Tia got sent off for a dirty tackle, because she never would. She would never blame us. She’s the one who led us to the state finals this year and made sure we won it, because she led by example. That soccer player is the one who is going to be remembered in this school long after she’s gone for being the best female player we’ve ever had, for getting a full-ride to one of the best colleges in the country, and I’d bet money on her one day representing our country.” I’m breathless but I take another step closer to her, my eyes staring into hers. “You won’t be remembered, Abigail, I can promise you that. You might be remembered for a year or two as the biggest bitch this school has ever seen, but it certainly won’t be for anything good.”

  I’m breathing heavily now. Abigail just raises an eyebrow at me while everyone else gapes in shock.

  “If you think Hallie’s a dyke for playing soccer, what do you think about the rest of us? Huh? Are Tia and Maria dykes too?” I ask, gesticulating around at the girls who are staring at me, not saying a word. They’ve never seen me take someone on before, never seen me argue like this. This isn’t something I do. “Am I?” I scoff. I allow a smirk to appear on my face, taunting her. “I’m not though, am I? And you know that, don’t you? You know that because I’ve got the one person you want more than anything else in this world, the one person I prove I’m not a dyke to every single time I see him.”