Beautifully Broken Spirit

by Catherine Cowles

  We would drive up to the horses, out to the lake, or sometimes, like now, just crisscross the county in circles until we worked out what we needed to. There was something about J’s fingers interwoven with mine that added a whole new level of peace to the scenario. I traced circles on the back of her hand with my thumb. “He’s getting worse.”

  Jensen said nothing, just let me go at my own pace.

  “I don’t think I can go back there. At some point, it’s going to escalate to something neither of us can take back.” I gripped the wheel a bit harder. “It almost did today.”

  “Do you have to? Go back, I mean. Can’t your mom come to your place? She has to know this isn’t a good situation for you to be in.”

  I let out a sound of frustration. “I don’t know what she thinks.” I hated that as time went on, I lost more and more respect for my mother. Because no matter what Dad did, it never seemed to warrant her leaving. It didn’t change that I loved her, but I didn’t like her all that much anymore. And that made me feel guilty as hell. Even more guilty because I hadn’t told her the one thing that might push her over the edge to leaving.

  Jensen squeezed my hand. “You’re angry at her.”

  I released Jensen’s hand and used mine to run through my hair. “Damn straight. And then I feel like a garbage human for being mad. I’m just losing patience with them both. They make each other miserable, so why the hell stay together? If they broke up, they’d at least have a shot at finding some happy, even if that happy was alone. Though for my dad, it would probably be with a harem of women.”

  Jensen twisted a strand of hair around her finger. “I think when you’re used to life a certain way, even if that way is miserable, it takes a lot to break free of that. But they might be closer than you think.”

  We’d circled around Sutter Lake and were headed back through downtown. I pulled my truck into a park. “Do you think I should tell her?”

  Jensen’s hand squeezed mine. “I hate that you’ve been carrying the weight of that for so long.” She stared up at me. “I would want to know. I’d also want to know that my husband had forced my son to keep that secret for so long. But I also think there’s going to be fallout, and I hate that you might be the casualty.”

  I blew out a loud breath. “Fuck.”

  Jensen reached up and ran a hand through my hair. She began massaging my scalp, easing the tension away. “You’ll know when the time is right.”

  My eyes slowly opened. “I hope you’re right.” I glanced around. The place was dead. I cupped Jensen’s face in my hands and took her mouth in a long, slow kiss. I could’ve lost myself forever in her lips and died a happy man.

  Reluctantly, I pulled back. “I’ve got a little something for you.”

  Jensen’s face lit up. “What is it?”

  I chuckled, reaching into my backseat and handing her a small box. “You’ll have to open it to find out.”

  Jensen quickly untied the ribbon and opened the box. Her brow furrowed. “You got me a paintbrush?”

  My chuckle deepened. “Well, I couldn’t exactly wrap the present.” I slipped my hand beneath the fall of her hair, giving her neck a few squeezes. “I know how much that graffiti on your barn has been pissing you off, so I painted over it yesterday.”

  She blinked rapidly. “You painted my barn?”

  I nodded.

  “You would’ve had to shovel snow away from the exterior walls. And it was ten degrees yesterday.”

  I shrugged.

  Jensen launched herself at me. Her fingers dove into my hair, and her lips crashed down on mine.

  When her hands slipped under my shirt, I had to pull back. “Jensen, we have to stop.”

  She nodded, breathing hard. “That is the most thoughtful gift anyone has ever given me.”

  I grinned. “I’ll definitely be painting more things for you in the future.”

  Jensen smiled. “I have something for you, too. But it wasn’t exactly something I could give you in front of my family…” She let her words trail off. “There’s lace involved.”

  My dick jerked. Never in my life had a woman affected me the way Jensen did. “Wilder, you really are going to kill me one of these days.”

  Jensen laughed, but it cut off. “Shit.”

  “What?” I turned to see a figure walking away.

  “I’m pretty sure that was Cody and that he just got an eyeful of us making out.”

  My head swung back around. “Fuck.”

  Jensen nibbled on her bottom lip. “I don’t think that’s going to make him very happy.”

  My hands itched to haul Jensen to me. “Tough shit.”

  One corner of her mouth quirked up. “Tough shit?”

  I threaded my fingers through the hair at the base of her scalp, pulling her to me until her mouth was just a breath away from mine. “He can throw a hissy fit for all I care. This mouth.” I swept my lips against hers. “It only belongs on one body.”

  Jensen’s breath hitched. She closed the distance between us in a swift, hard movement, that fire in her flaring to life. Her hands fisted in my hair as she half hauled herself over the console.

  I forced myself to pull away. “Jensen.” Her name came out on a pant.

  She sank back in her seat. “I know, I know. It would be a real bummer end to Christmas if my brother got a call that his sister and best friend had been arrested for indecent exposure.”

  I chuckled, but that niggling guilt settled in my gut. “So very true.”

  Jensen began worrying her lower lip again, her gaze traveling to where Cody had disappeared.

  I linked my fingers with hers. “You think he’s going to make trouble for us?”

  “I’m not sure…”

  26

  Jensen

  “How are you doing?”

  For once, the question didn’t frustrate me like it normally did. Usually, I would’ve interpreted it as pity. But now, I could hear it for what it truly was, care and concern. I looked up at Taylor as I handed her the change for her tea and scone. “I’m actually doing pretty well.”

  It was true. Considering that I was waiting for the other shoe to drop when it came to Cody, I had a surprisingly cheery outlook on it all. Maybe it was the shift in the weather. The two days of sixty-degree temperatures had the sun shining and the snow melting. The horses all had an extra burst of energy, along with room to run and play.

  Or maybe it was Tuck. I couldn’t help the little smile that came to my lips. He made me happy. And instead of letting that freak me the hell out, I was just going to roll with it.

  Taylor took her change. “What’s that look about?”

  My body gave a little jolt. “What look?”

  Taylor grinned, pointing to my face and drawing a little circle in the air. “The one that makes you look like the cat that got the cream. Do you have a man in your life, Jensen?”

  This was the thing about good friends, they paid attention. I pressed my lips together.

  Kennedy leaned on the counter. “This I have to hear.”

  My palms started to sweat. Kennedy had seen Tuck in here more than a few times. “There’s no one. I just think I’m finally starting to get out of my funk.”

  Taylor tapped the top of her to-go cup. “I’m not so sure I believe that. But I’ll let you have that play for now.” She headed for the door, but it opened before she could reach it. “Tuck, what’re you doing here?”

  He grinned at Taylor. “Good morning, gorgeous. Just getting myself some snacks.” He patted his stomach. “And I might see if I can get that friend of yours to play hooky with me today.”

  Taylor looked from Tuck to me and back again, her eyes dancing. “I think that’s a great idea. Don’t take no for an answer.”

  I let out a breath I hadn’t realized I’d been holding when Taylor finally headed out. The last thing I needed was her chatting away to Walker about Tuck and me.

  Tuck sauntered up to the counter. “Wilder, run away with me.”

>   I laughed. “Apparently, the warm weather is getting to everyone.”

  He placed his hand on the counter, his fingertips just touching mine. “I have the day off, and there’s somewhere I want to take you.”

  Kennedy bumped my hip. “Go.”

  I looked up at her. “Are you sure? I haven’t left you alone yet.”

  “The baking is done. Taylor was the last of the morning rush. Your mom’s coming in at two.” Kennedy ticked each point off on her fingers. “I’ll be fine. Go.” She eyed Tuck up and down. “I would.”

  Tuck chuckled. “The girl has a point.”

  My stomach gave a little flip. “Okay. Thank you. My cell number and my mom’s are on the board. If you get slammed, call her, and she can come in early.”

  Kennedy grinned hugely. “Have fun, you two.”

  I rounded the counter. “What do I need for where you’re taking me?”

  Tuck looked me up and down, not in a sexual way, more assessing. “Can you hike in that?”

  That was one of the perks of working in such a casual environment. I was wearing jeans, boots that would support a ten-mile trek, and a long-sleeved gray tee. “Yup.”

  “It’s sunny, but it’s still cold. You got a coat?”

  The overprotectiveness would never end. I smiled and pointed to my puffy jacket hanging by the door. “Good to go.”

  Tuck grabbed the coat and slipped it over my shoulders. “Don’t want you catching a cold.” He leaned in closer, his lips brushing the shell of my ear. “I need to be able to kiss you whenever I want.”

  “Tuck.” The single word was meant to be a warning, but it came out way too breathily for that.

  “Yes?” His tone was playful with an edge that hinted at mocking.

  I shoved at his chest. “You don’t fight fair.”

  “Never said I would.”

  The drive was quiet, like so many of our drives were. Just the easy peace of being together. It soothed my frayed edges in a way nothing else could.

  It didn’t take long for me to figure out where we were headed. As we drove up the mountain pass, I was relieved to see that the snow from the blizzard a few weeks ago had melted, and though more snow would come, for now, the bitter cold had given us and the mustangs a break.

  Tuck pulled to the side of the road. We’d stopped at a spot I hadn’t been to before. It was easy to forget just how vast the forest was. So many unexplored nooks and crannies, so many wondrous sights to take in.

  Tuck reached over and gave a strand of my hair a few gentle tugs. “You ready to go?”

  I leaned across the console. “I don’t know where we’re going, so how can I know if I’m ready or not?”

  Tuck gave me one of his signature grins that made my insides flip. “You’re ready.”

  I shook my head. “Okay, then. What about you?”

  Tuck gestured to the back of the cab. “I’ve got my pack in the back, so we should be covered.”

  Tuck was always prepared for an adventure. Or an emergency. Since he and Walker were on both the SWAT and Search and Rescue teams, they never knew when they’d need to head into the wilderness.

  I slipped out of the truck. Closing my eyes, I inhaled deeply. The air was so fresh, so clean, so…pure. It held the dampness of recently melted snow. The unique scent of a specific type of pine tree only found in this part of the world. The smell, the feel—it was home.

  Tuck tugged on my hand. “Come on. There’s something I’ve been wanting to show you.”

  He led me through the forest, following a path only he could see. Yet again, we walked in silence, the familiar peace sliding over my skin. I loved these moments with him.

  I wasn’t sure how long we hiked. I let my mind wander, soaking in the sights and sounds around me. Tuck stopped suddenly, and I almost ran into his back. “Geez, behemoth, watch where—” My words cut off as I gasped.

  In front of us was the most beautiful waterfall I’d ever seen. The water was so crystal-clear it almost had a turquoise hue to it. A massive tree had fallen by a pool at the base and was now covered with the most vibrant green moss I’d ever seen. It was the most breathtaking place I’d ever been. I could only get one word out. “How?”

  Tuck wrapped an arm around me and pulled me into his side. “I was tracking the herd one day, and they led me here. I’ve never told anyone about it. Never brought anyone here. There’s just something about it that’s so pure. I didn’t want to sully it with other people.”

  I looked up at him. “Thank you for sharing it with me.”

  Tuck brushed his lips against mine. “Look.” He gestured down the stream that led out of the pool at the base of the waterfall.

  I turned, and my heart clenched. There were our mustangs. A family band of about twelve getting a drink at the stream. We stood watching, saying nothing, just soaking up the experience of this magical place together. I closed my eyes, wanting to commit this moment to memory forever.

  Tuck brushed a hand over my face, and my eyelids rose. He opened his mouth to say something but was cut off by a loud crack. The color drained from Tuck’s face and, suddenly, we were falling.

  27

  Tuck

  My body dropped, covering Jensen. The band of horses at the stream took off at a gallop. The crack of another bullet filled the air. Fuck! Where was the shooter? I tracked the sound the best I could, trying to determine the trajectory.

  Jensen grabbed at my shirt, tearing at it with a frenzy that I’d never seen from her before. “Where? Where are you hit?”

  “Wilder, calm down.” I needed her quiet and, more importantly, still. “Steady. I’m fine. I wasn’t hit.”

  She froze, her beautiful face marred with dirt looking up at me. “But you dropped like a ton of bricks,” she whispered.

  “Yeah, because I wasn’t looking to get shot.” I attempted to glance over my shoulder without raising my head. I couldn’t get a good look. “J, on the count of three, I’m going to roll us, okay?” She nodded. “One, two, three.” I rolled us until we rested up against the protection of that massive fallen tree. At least now, we had cover. I pulled my Glock from its holster. “Stay down.”

  Jensen gripped my shirt. “Don’t. We don’t know where he is.”

  I rolled onto my side. “I got a location when he shot the second time. But I need to see if he’s taken off.”

  Jensen’s lips pressed together in a tight line. “Okay. Please be careful.”

  “Always.” I crept up the side of the fallen tree until I had a sightline to where I knew the shooter was. Nothing. I steadied my breathing and cleared my mind. Listening. Truly listening for any sounds that shouldn’t have been there.

  The rushing water of the falls behind us didn’t make things easy. At first, there was nothing I could place. And then, finally, I heard something that didn’t belong. An engine. An all-terrain vehicle if I had to guess. I scanned the forest around us. He was gone.

  I sank back to the ground. “He took off.”

  Jensen stayed where she was. “You’re sure?”

  I nodded and reached out a hand to help her sit up. She winced as she did. “What’s wrong?” I was instantly on alert. Could she have been hit and I hadn’t realized it? I immediately began scanning her legs, I started to lift up her shirt, and she batted my hands away.

  “I’m fine. I just got a little banged up when you tackled me. You’re not exactly a lightweight.”

  I winced. “Let me see. I’ve got a first-aid kit in my pack.” Jensen nodded, and I lifted up her shirt and jacket to examine her back. I hissed. Shit. She had a deep cut running on a diagonal across her lower back. I didn’t think it needed stitches, but it had to hurt. “I’m going to call this in, and then I’ll get started on your back.”

  Jensen looked at me over her shoulder. “You’ll have to tell them where we are.”

  My brow furrowed. “Yes…”

  “They’ll know where your special place is.”

  I shook my head. “That’s the l
ast thing I care about right now. We need to get you out of here safely and then see if there’s any forensic evidence we can find.”

  Her expression grew stormy. “This creep is ruining everything.”

  “You aren’t wrong.” I pulled my sat phone out of my pack and called Dominguez. He and Mackey were on today. The call only took a few minutes, and I asked Dominguez to call Walker so he could pick up Jensen. I shoved the phone back into my pack. “They should be here in about an hour. In the meantime, let me deal with your back.”

  Jensen nodded and lifted her shirt. “Did you have to ask them to call Walker?”

  I grinned and pulled out the first-aid kit. “How else were you going to get home?”

  “I could’ve just waited for you to be done.”

  I pulled on a pair of gloves, not wanting my dirt-covered hands anywhere near Jensen’s open wound. “It’s going to take me hours to finish up here. You need to go home and soak in a hot bath. Your muscles are going to be killing you tomorrow.” I ripped open an alcohol swab.

  Jensen hissed as the pad touched her raw flesh. “Fuckity freaking fracking fuck! That stings.”

  I blew on the wound. “Sorry. That better?” She nodded. I worked as quickly as possible. Wiping an antibiotic salve across the cut and covering it with gauze. I eased her shirt and jacket down. “I’m pretty sure that shirt is done for.”

  Jensen shrugged and leaned back against the log, careful to avoid her wound. “It’s just a shirt.”

  I wrapped an arm around her and pressed my lips to her hair. “I shouldn’t have brought you up here.”

  Jensen tensed. “Don’t put this overprotective guilt trip on yourself. There’s been no sign of any other injured horses, right? Or the shooter.”

  “No…”

  She smacked my stomach with the back of her hand. “Then quit this crap.” Jensen was silent for a moment. “All the horses are okay?”

  I reached over and squeezed her thigh as I looked to where the horses had taken off. “They’re fine—" I caught sight of a small form at least one hundred yards out. “Fuck.” I grabbed my pack and took off running.