The Prodigal Heart

by Karen Cogan

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  Rachael glanced at her watch as she strode down the hall toward Ricky's classroom. The murmur of children's voices made her feel nostalgic. She loved her work at the learning center, yet there was still a part of her that missed schoolroom teaching.

  She walked into Ricky's classroom and smiled at the round-faced matronly woman who sat behind the desk. After making introductions, Rachel said, "Thank you for agreeing to see me. I've just started tutoring Ricky and I've heard he has problems at school."

  "Problems? I should say so." Paula Jeffries lifted her sturdy frame from the chair. "The child has the attention span of a gnat. I know he's had a big adjustment moving in with his father this year, but I have to say this boy is driving me crazy. Let's sit over here and I'll show you his recent papers and tests." She gestured toward a round reading table upon which the papers were spread.

  Rachael felt a twinge of sympathy for Mrs. Jeffries. Inattentive children were a real challenge. "Ricky has been under a lot of stress. Do you think that accounts for his being behind in his work?"

  "Could be." Mrs. Jeffries brushed back a strand of short gray hair. "He's immature. He doesn't pay attention and then he gets frustrated when he can't do the work. I'd say it's more lack of discipline than lack of brains. I know the grandmother blames me, but, after all, I do have a classroom of twenty-two first graders to deal with.

  "Then he's a discipline problem?"

  Mrs. Jeffries looked thoughtful. "He doesn't bother the other children or disrupt the class. He just doesn't pay attention and I don't have time to personally tutor one little boy. Teachers are expected to accomplish the impossible these days. Maybe the extra help you give him will catch him up."

  Rachel nodded. "I've found him to be easily distracted, too. And what you've told me has been helpful. It makes me wonder if he has an attention deficit disorder. I'm going to discuss it with his father."

  Mrs. Jeffries leaned toward Rachel. "If you find a way to help this boy, I'll be thrilled, but I'm at the limit of what I can do."

  Rachel smiled at her. "I know. It's hard to give individual attention to so many students. But I think Ricky can be helped."

  They spent the next ten minutes looking over his papers and discussing his work. Then, glancing at the clock, Mrs. Jeffries concluded the meeting by saying, "I've got to get my kids from P.E. If there's anything else I can help with, let me know. I'll send his work home for you to look over when you tutor him each week."

  "That would be great. Thanks."

  Rachael left with a strong suspicion she knew Ricky's problem. Now, if she could get hold of the absent Mr. Parker, perhaps something could be done to help. She fumed as she remembered the conversation from London. He was paying for her assistance. Was it too much to ask that he keep in touch about the progress of his son?

  When she got to the office, it was almost noon. Terri was already there. "Guess what! I had the most marvelous date last night. I haven't been able to think about anything else all morning. If you'd been at the spa this morning for our workout, I could have told you about it."

  "I know. I had to see Ricky's teacher on her off-period."

  "How did it go?"

  "She's not like the grandmother made her sound. She's just overworked. Now tell me about your dream date."

  Terri launched into the result of her blind date. It took her until well after lunch to fill in all the details. "He lives all the way out in Spring. I may have to move out there, too."

  There was a teasing light in her eyes, but Rachel had a strong feeling she would be willing to do it. "You'd be a long way from work."

  "You haven't met this guy. It would be worth it."

  Rachel brushed aside a twinge of envy, imagining Jonathon's handsome face. She knew she had expected too much. After their first meeting, she had looked forward to further contact. Now it seemed that was something he wasn’t eager to pursue.

 

  Her cell phone rang Saturday morning just as she stepped from the shower. She wrapped a fuzzy yellow towel around her and scurried for the phone.

  "Hello."

  "Hello, Rachel. It's me."

  She recognized the smooth voice and felt irritated he would suppose she would. Did Jonathon assume he was the only man who ever called?

  "I'm the worse from jet lag, but I'm back," he continued. "It was a killer trip. We're helping some clients dissolve a corporation and reinvest their funds. It's the second time I've been there in the last month."

  She tightened her hold on the towel. "I'm sure Ricky's glad you're back."

  "I haven't seen him yet. He spent the night with Nina."

  "I talked to his teacher. She seems to think he has a problem with his attention span. So do I. I think you should have him tested to see if he has an attention deficit."

  "Can you do it?"

  "No, but I can recommend a good psychiatrist. I'm tutoring a child she's treated for an attention deficit disorder."

  There was silence for a moment. Then he said, "This is heavy stuff, especially since I thought he was just a little behind in his work. I need more information before I can make a decision. I have to leave for the office in a minute, so maybe you could have dinner with me tonight and tell me more about it."

  "That really isn't necessary. We close at five on Saturdays. You could come in this afternoon."

  "I don't think I can get away by then. Could we meet at seven at Tony's?"

  She hesitated. She had gone there with him when they wanted to celebrate something special. Would it dredge up old memories?

  "How about meeting me in the office during the week?" she asked.

  "If tonight won't work, I'm afraid it will be several days before I'll have any free time. I'm leaving tomorrow morning for a meeting in LA," he said.

  "You aren't home much are you?"

  "Not much. That's the price of success at this job."

  She sighed. "Okay. I'll meet you at seven and we can talk about Ricky."

  "See you then."

  All through her busy Saturday she struggled to keep her mind on her small students. Terri was anticipating a date with her new boyfriend and was equally distracted. When five o'clock came, it was a race to see who would beat the other out the door.

  At home, Rachel dressed carefully for dinner. After rustling through her closet several times, she chose a mint-colored dinner dress with a high neckline. The color complimented her green eyes and set off her wavy copper hair that rested softly on her shoulders. It also set the tone for the professional image she wanted to present.

  At six-thirty, she pulled out of her parking spot and headed for Tony's. In a half-hour she would be sitting at a table, struggling with memories she should have forgotten ten years ago.

  She repeated Jeremiah 29:11. "For I know the plans I have for you, declared the Lord, plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future." Though it could be God's plan to bring Jonathon and Ricky into her life, she would have to be careful of the romantic stirrings that Jonathon might evoke in her heart.

  She sighed as she pulled into the restaurant lot just before seven and left her car to be parked. She walked inside, determined not to be led astray by her emotions.

  She glanced around. There was no sign of Jonathon.

  The hostess surveyed her expectantly.

  "I'm meeting Jonathon Parker," Rachel said.

  The woman glanced down. "He hasn't arrived yet. Would you like to wait for him in the bar?"

  She nodded and made her way to a room just beyond the hostess. She seated herself and ordered a soda. The restaurant was crowded and she felt conspicuous sitting alone on a stool. It was seven-fifteen. Where was Jonathon?

&n
bsp; She glanced up to see a man watching her. She avoided his interest, keeping her eyes on the door as she finished her soda. How could Jonathon put her in such an uncomfortable position? If he didn't show up, he could find someone else to tutor his son.

  Her anxious gaze turned to relief as she saw him coming towards her, preceded by a hostess. She slid from the stool and smoothed her skirt.

  "Sorry I'm late," he said. "I got an international phone call.

  She fought the urge to give a sarcastic reply, saying instead, "It's all right. I understand."

  Despite her irritation, she was keenly aware of his nearness as he walked beside her. The dark jacket, which hung upon his broad shoulders, brushed her back as he settled her in a velvet-cushioned chair. He seated himself across the table and she saw his mouth draw into a slow smile.

  "It's been a long time hasn't it?"

  Seeing the nostalgia in his eyes, she felt her irritation drain away. Lost in his gaze, she was startled when a waiter appeared. "May I get you something from the bar?"

  She shook her head. "I'd like a glass of tea."

  He turned to Jonathon. "You, sir?"

  "Just water. Thanks."

  He handed them menus and promised to return.

  She watched quizzically as Jonathon rotated his water glass. "You don't drink anymore?"

  "No. It left a bad taste in my mouth, if you'll pardon the pun. A lot of bad things have happened in my life from too much drinking."

  He took a sip of water and asked, "How about you? You were engaged. How come you never got married?"

  "How did you know I was engaged?"

  "I called after Eva and I separated. I wanted your advice. Your mother said you were engaged and didn't think you'd want to talk to me."

  "I never knew you called."

  "I did call. I wanted more than anything in the world to talk to you. I figured you got married and lived happily ever after. Then, I decided I better get on with my life. I'd wasted a lot of time."

  "So you chose to become a lawyer."

  "Yes. I thought if I could just become successful, all the pain would go away."

  "Did it?"

  "No. But the discipline of law school helped me straighten out my life."

  The waiter returned. Rachel realized she had given no thought to her order. Instinctively, she turned to her favorite from years ago. "I'll have chicken cordon bleu."

  "And I'll have filet mignon." Jonathon turned to her with a smile. "I guess your taste hasn't changed."

  "Not in some things."

  He sat silent a moment staring at her face. "So why didn't you get married and live happily ever after? I'm sure whoever you were dating was an improvement over your memories of me."

  She felt a bittersweet pang at the thought of her engagement. Her memories of Jonathon had been too fresh during the time she was engaged. She knew that was a large part of the reason she had been unable to go through with the wedding.

  "He was a nice guy, really sweet, but there just weren't the right feelings there to build a lifetime of commitment. We broke it off long before invitations went out."

  She stirred her tea and decided she had said enough about her personal life. "What about you? How long were you married?"

  "We were married four years when Eva died. I met her when we were freshmen. She was a party girl and we had a good time. We married the next year. My mom sent money to help us with expenses. I guess she hoped marriage would help me settle down. But it didn't. Eva and I drank and partied for a whole year. Then we started fighting. I didn't like the way she acted when she was drunk. I didn't like the way I acted either. I swore off drinking. It was tough, but I quit. Eva didn't."

  The waiter arrived with salads. She waited for him to leave, in the hope Jonathon would continue his story. When he lapsed into silence, she asked, "Did things get any better after Ricky was born?"

  He shook his head, his eyes showing he had not forgotten the pain in his past. "I wasn't home much. I just couldn't take it any more. It was my first year of law school. I needed peace and time to study. Eva wanted to be entertained. She'd quit school and worked part-time at a floral shop. At night she wanted to party. I knew the only way I was going to get a law degree was to spend my time in the law library."

  Rachael thought about what Nina had told her about Eva. "Ricky's grandmother said her daughter was very beautiful."

  She watched his face, still so familiar. His jaw set stubbornly as he snared a bite of salad. "Nina blames me for the problems, for not being there for her daughter. Maybe she’s right. Yet, Eva, beautiful as she was, was bent on self-destruction. I didn't want to destruct with her."

  They finished their salads which were promptly whisked away and replaced by the delicious smells of steak and chicken. She took a bite of the steamed asparagus from its bed of white rice. Everything was as she remembered. The restaurant, the food, even the polite and proficient waiters could have been the same. But the boy who had sat across from her had turned into a man. And the years had been very kind.

  His broad shoulders were straight, his body lean and tan. She watched him pick up his glass, his hands strong and sure. Watching him, she could almost believe she had traveled to the past and was out on a Saturday night with the man he had hoped to marry. Yet, there was something different about him now. He possessed a confidence the boy had lacked. The restlessness had passed, leaving steely determination. If possible, he was more attractive now than before.

  "Is your dinner all right?" he asked.

  She flushed, realizing the chicken she had placed on her fork was sitting uneaten. "It's fine." She took a bite and avoided his eyes.

  When she dared look up, she saw he was smiling at her, revealing white teeth neatly aligned behind alluring lips. It was a friendly smile, full of warmth.

  "I used to wish I could read your mind," he said. "You weren't only the prettiest girl at school, you were the most serious. Always so directed. You had life all figured out. I used to think you had everything. You were smart, you had a great home life. When things fell apart in my life, I was jealous of you. I let it come between us. I shouldn't have."

  She looked into his eyes and remembered how it felt to be in his arms, to gaze into those dark eyes as his lips came near for a kiss. She remembered so much. Too much, she told herself.

  Jonathon had said nothing about a relationship with the Lord, something terribly important if she were to let her feelings deepen. Somehow she had to break the spell that was being woven between them.

  Without looking up, she cut a bite of chicken and put it decisively into her mouth. "What matters now is Ricky, and what can be done to help him. I don't think his problems at school can be explained only by the trauma he's suffered. He has many of the symptoms of a child who has an attention deficit. If so, there is medication that can be given to help him concentrate. That's why I think you should have him evaluated."

  He sighed, looking resigned. "Something has to be done. It seems like every time I turn around he's disobeying me. I've caught him with matches twice. He has this thing about fire. Maybe you’re right and a psychiatrist is the answer."

  "More like a place to start. If I'm right about his problem, it's important to get him started on treatment while he's young. By the time these kids get to their teens it can be hard to help them."

  He nodded. "Do you have the name of a good psychiatrist?"

  "I brought a name and number."

  She dug into her purse and produced a small square of paper. She watched as he read it, then, slid it into his shirt pocket.

  They finished their dinners and ordered coffee. When it arrived, he took a long sip and said, "I wasn't ready for Ricky when he came to live with me. I co
uld have given custody to Nina. I thought about it, but I knew if I did, I'd never see him. I'd never know my son. I want to be a good father. I really want to try."

  She looked into his earnest face, almost boyish now, and felt her heart go out to him. He'd traveled a hard road during the last ten years. She wanted to erase all the pain and start over again. Since that wasn't possible, she would help all she could to make things easier with Ricky.

  They finished their coffee and he paid the tab. As they left, she was aware of the admiring glances that were cast their way. They looked good together. Wasn't that what her friends had always said?

  They stood together as they waited for the attendants to bring their cars. She wished they had truly been on a date. She wished they could be a couple again, sharing good times. But so much had happened. Surely they were different people from the high school sweethearts who dated so long ago.

  She wished she knew what he was thinking. As though reading her mind, he looked into her eyes. "I've had a good time tonight. I hate for it to be over."

  She smiled. "I had a good time, too."

  "Do you suppose we might need another conference after I get the results from the psychiatrist?"

  Slipping into his trap like a bird who chooses the cage, she said, "Yes, I think we might."

  "Since I'll be out of town on Monday, I'll have Nina call for his appointment."

  Her gaze caught his and she was all profession. "The doctor will want to talk to you, too. She'll have questions about his behavior at home. It's important that you be there."

  His face clouded slightly. "Nina probably knows more about him. She kept him while I was in school and Eva went out partying. Then he lived with her after Eva died and I finished law school. I've only had Ricky with me for the last two years. But I'll see what I can do."

  Business first? She bit back the question as the attendant pulled up with her car. The evening had been lovely and she didn't want to spoil it. Yet she knew she would have to make him see he couldn't successfully raise this child without investing a substantial amount of his time. Something would have to give. She planned to lead him gently in the right direction, helping him to understand Ricky's need for him.

  "Let me know what the doctor says about Ricky," she said, looking into his dark eyes. Her heart beat quickened at his response. He took her hand in his large palm and squeezed it gently. The expression in his eyes brought back memories of warm nights and tender kisses.

  She swallowed hard and tried to smile. What she felt frightened her. Her life had been orderly, her emotions under control. Now he had returned to send her orderly feelings into a whirl.

  He released her hand. She whispered softly, "Good-night," and slipped into her car.

  CHAPTER THREE