Starboard Vow

by K. M. Jackson

  Shudder, swoon, melt. Crap his hand felt good. Wait. Concentrate woman. He only just put his arm around your waist. It wasn’t that big a deal. Just keep it professional and you’ll be alright. Besides, she looked around, they were in the middle of the Beach Lounge’s dance floor with just about every eye on them. She had to keep her distance and stay professional.

  The music changed to something with a slightly slower tempo, supposedly to let the more novice dancers keep up, but all it did for her was accentuate the sensuous nature of the music. Aaron’s fingers splayed and the heat of them radiated throughout her back as he pulled her closer to him. Unwillingly, she let out a long and low breath as the present slipped away and she was suddenly transported to the past. To a moment where all was warm and wonderful, and she felt nothing but happiness and hope in the arms of the man she loved. It was everything. Her breasts against his hard chest, the quick beating of her heart making steady time with his as he dipped a hip low and her body immediately moved to his rhythm.

  They were dancing again. Moving, swaying, going with the rhythm of the music while also following the beat of something else entirely. Something they always shared when they got within a certain distance of each other and mysteriously synced together. It was as if their bodies became one and each movement, beat, and breath was a direct reaction to the other. For the moment, Jules let herself go with it. Lost herself to the overwhelming feelings of being in his arms again. She missed that feeling and when he looked her in the eye, and they clicked, it was as if she was shot with a love dart right square in the center of her chest.

  Just then the music changed tempo again and thankfully the spell was broken before she could be fully and completely drawn in by Aaron and his charms. Jules blinked and it was no longer just the two of them but them and the hordes of questioning eyes taking in their sensual dance and her, dammit, way too emotional responses. Aaron swung her out then pulled her in close once again. She held up a hand to his chest, blocking him but not the feel of his rapidly beating heart, the large hand on her thigh as her traitorous leg still came up on its own and wrapped around his behind. Shit. Body come on! Get with it and catch up to the brain!

  “We need to talk,” his voice was husky and deep against her ear.

  From the feel of him under her thigh it didn’t seem like talking was on his mind.

  “Yes, but now is not the time,” she said.

  His eyes got deadly serious. “Then make the time and soon. I won’t hold out. If you don’t set it, then I will, and I don’t think you’ll be happy about my time or place of choosing.”

  Jules sucked in a breath as Aaron pulled her in again with a wicked grin, then he gave his bottom lip a lick that sent her insides to liquid along with just about every other woman in the near vicinity as she heard a collective sigh wave throughout the room. Jules blinked back into consciousness. It was time to get this straight. To get him straight. “Like I said, now is not the time. I’ll find you later. Don’t mess this up for me. I didn’t get in your way. So please afford me the same courtesy.”

  Putting on her smile once again, Jules let out a breath and pushed away from him. It was too easy though, because he’d already let her go and she’d almost stumbled back on weak legs. She made her way to the small stage and the MC, taking the mic from his hands. “Great job everyone. Let’s keep this party going and don’t forget the drinks are flowing. DJ, bring that quick beat back and get this floor shaking!”

  A cheer went through the room and she looked towards the bar noticing that Brenden had gone over and was now flipping bottles in the air while standing and gyrating. Thank goodness for his sweet soul. He probably sensed the tension she was feeling and even if he didn’t, she was grateful for the distraction from where she and Aaron had made such a show on the dance floor. She looked back to where Aaron had been standing, expecting for some reason to see him still there, but he was gone. Her eyes instantly went to the doorway but all she saw there was the quickly retreating figure of Poppy, her strawberry blond hair flying behind her. No doubt she was chasing behind wherever Aaron went off to. The thought left Jules with nothing but a sinking feeling.

  Chapter 7

  Aaron couldn’t get the shower cold enough, so he gave up trying. There was no cooling off from that dance with Jules anyway. As the water streamed over his body, he gave up on torturing himself and turned the tap to hot, letting the water temperature match that of the blood pulsing through his body, and proceeded to soap up. He let out a sigh and put his head back against the shower wall. He was exhausted. Not so much physically, though this had been a long day, but mentally. No, emotionally, since though geographically he was currently in the same location as Jules, he didn’t feel any closer to her.

  Check that, he thought, as the image of her flashed in his mind. The dilation of her pupils, the pulsing of her lips and slight beads of perspiration that he saw dapple her skin at the end of their dance—there was no faking that. She might say she was totally over him, but her body’s response to him said something different. Something instinctual, almost primal. She couldn’t hide that. And he couldn’t hide or deny what her reaction did to him.

  It was probably for the best they were interrupted by the crowd and her getting skittish. He almost, without any talk, let it all go and took her right then and there on the dance floor with all eyes on the two of them. Wanting to taste those sweet lips like nothing he’d ever wanted to taste before in his life. At this he didn’t care who knew how he felt, but knew he had to tread carefully, or everything could blow up in his face. A move like that and she could good and well be done with him forever, plus his career could be over. Or close to it. Sure, he could maybe get past the studio but the press, the internet? They could be quite unforgiving.

  But what did his career matter? Yes, he was well on the way to something big, but with each small victory he’d gotten, it felt incredibly hollow when he couldn’t share his joy with Jules. The fact that she’d cut herself off from him completely burned him beyond belief. It was so unfair and one sided. Sure, a part of him, the logical part, got her reasoning but his heart could never quite catch up. The fact that she used him and his career as her excuse for their break just didn’t sit right.

  Aaron dunked his head under the spray, trying to wash the dark thoughts he was having from his mind as he rinsed shampoo out of his hair. Dark thoughts mixed with pent up sexual frustration didn’t bode well, and he’d frankly had his fill of both over the past year. Turning off the shower in frustration, he dried off, wrapping a towel around his waist as he stepped back into his suite. He grabbed a beer in further pursuit of cooling down and once again reached for the divorce papers she’d sent as he pushed aside the box with her ring in it. He growled. She was hell-bent on him signing and now. Why was that?

  Could it have something to do with the handsy stew with the fast hips. Aaron didn’t want to really consider it but for some reason he couldn’t get past how good and how right the two of them looked out on the dance floor. They seemed happy, comfortable and in sync. For the first time since he’d seen Jules on this trip she wasn’t visibly tied up in knots and her lips weren’t drawn in a taut line. With that dude she was relaxed and Aaron’s selfish ass, while he knew a part of him should be happy or at least relieved for her, well, truth be told, he hated it.

  “Why can’t she be that relaxed with me?”

  Just then there was a knock on his door, and he gave another frustrated huff as he put the papers back in the envelop and threw them on the counter. It was after midnight. He hoped like hell it wasn’t Maribel. The maid had been to his room twice in the short time he’d been back. He was certain he’d put the do not disturb light on outside, but for all he knew it could be Morris. The guy never quit.

  Aaron looked down at his towel and paused, but if it was Poppy, he was going to give her a piece of his mind once and for all.

  Padding to the door, Aaron looked out the small peephole, jumping back in surprise when he saw Jules�
��s angry expression on the other side.

  He looked down at himself in the towel once again and grinned before opening the door wide.

  Jules’s brows shot straight up upon seeing Aaron standing in front of her dressed in only an Elegance issued towel. What the heck? Did she just walk in on something? She knew she was taking a huge risk coming to Aaron’s cabin at this time of night, but she wouldn’t be able to rest if she let things stand another moment with the way they were. After his display in the Beach Lounge, she had to put a stop to things. But, it wasn’t without a small amount of fear that she’d knocked on his cabin door. Afraid that he wouldn’t be alone after seeing how Poppy had run out of the lounge behind him. And there he was, opening his door in only a towel, looking like sex on tap.

  Jules shifted her eyes left to right, then closed her gaping mouth, trying hard to control her whirling thoughts. “I’m, um, sorry. This was a mistake. I shouldn’t have disturbed you. I can, um, come back when you’re not so busy or text me and we’ll meet to . . .” She let her gaze go over Aaron’s shoulder, toward the bed. Not able to get a clear look her eyes went back to him. Towel, chest, face. “. . . morrow. We could meet somewhere discreet for coffee when you’re free and talk. Well, c-catch up,” she stuttered, trying to cover in the case of listening ears.

  She turned, her rapidly beating heart loud in her ears, when Aaron’s voice penetrated her mortification. “No, we’re having this out now.”

  His hand was on her wrist then and he was pulling her back around.

  She looked behind him again. Then shook her head. “Aren’t you busy?”

  He let out a frustrated sigh and looked at her deadpan. “Busy doing what Jules? Tell me what you expected to walk in on here tonight?”

  Just then Jules heard the click of one of the crew’s work doors opening down the hall. Shit. She didn’t want to get caught outside Aaron’s room at this time of night. Though she could come up with any number of excuses to be here, it would still take a day to let the question die down. She pushed at his naked chest, backing him up, and walked into the cabin.

  The fact that she was relieved at finding him alone made her feel incredibly foolish. She’d told herself months ago that it didn’t matter what Aaron did. She’d walked away. But still, upon finding the cabin empty, the only signs of habitation coming from him, did give her an undeserved sense of satisfaction.

  “So. You didn’t answer my question,” Aaron said, coming past her, his voice smooth and sexy as he looked her in the eye. His eyes were beautiful. Despite being laced with anger and questions they were dark, sharp, and smoldering. Her gaze shifted, looking for someplace else to rest and get a break but everywhere she looked it was all him. His hair, damp and clinging to his forehead and the nape of his neck where droplets of water clung then trailed down. He was all shoulders, chest, abs and oh lord, that towel. She stepped back.

  “You want to put on something so we can talk?”

  Aaron laughed. “What? You can’t talk with me like this? It’s not like you haven’t seen me in less. Besides, I would think being on this floating paradise you see men in lots less than this all the time.”

  She rolled her eyes. “It’s not the same!”

  “Oh, really what’s different? Is it the towel? Maybe? Am I wearing too little? Would it make you happier, more comfortable or stoke your fantasy if I were say wearing a tight white officer’s uniform?”

  Jules frowned. What was he talking about? But then it hit her. Brenden. He was jealous. This was the second time Aaron had brought him up. So, he actually thought that, though she was still married to him, she’d be sleeping with another man? And another guy on the cruise. It was almost too much. “Are you kidding me with this? What makes you think I’d be into Brenden or anyone for that matter. We are still technically married.”

  Aaron let out a growl and rubbed his hand through his hair. “Technically? That’s all you see me as Jules, a technicality? Damn, woman when you left, I thought it was harsh, but I didn’t know you could be cruel.”

  “Well, what do you see me as? It’s been a year, Aaron, and you and Poppy look pretty close. Let the tabloids tell it, you and she are practically engaged.”

  He stared back at her. Jules noticing for the first time real hurt in his eyes. Her heart seemed to fracture with the image.

  “So what? This is how you’ve squared it all in your mind,” he said, going and picking up the manila envelope. “You went and got in your head that I’ve moved on and was bedding someone else, while still married to you, while I was still hopeful to get back together with you. Dammit, still waiting for you. I can’t believe you thought so little of me.”

  Jules couldn’t have felt lower. She hated the way Aaron was looking at her. She’d left so she’d never have to see that particular haze of resentment in his eyes and here she’d gone and put herself in the direct path.

  “I’m sorry,” she said, her voice steadier than her actual feelings. She never wanted to cause him pain. She loved him more than anyone in her life. She only wanted to see him happy. This is what this past year had been about, hadn’t it?

  He threw the envelope on the bed. “Sorry? For what exactly? Making assumptions about me, my fidelity or walking away from us without even giving me a chance to be the man I said I was.”

  Jules looked down at the envelope on the bed, then back up at Aaron. Once again, her mind went to war with her heart and her body. This wouldn’t do. She had to stay strong for herself, but mostly for Aaron. “I’m sorry for a lot of things, Aaron. But for walking away I’m not. It was the best thing for both of us. Look at how your career has gone. You are on your way to the top. I know you wouldn’t have gotten there with me hanging on to you.”

  In a flash, Aaron strode across the stateroom toward her. “What are you talking about? So what if you were by my side. At least we would have been together.”

  He was close, so very close, his emotions practically pulsating from his body onto hers. She needed to keep her cool, but it was almost impossible with him so near.

  She looked up at him. “Yes, we would have been together, but it wouldn’t have been the same. Every other interview you did would have been about your movie, yes, your great acting and then the question would come up about if you’re single or married. The fact that you were married would have closed the doors for so many fans.”

  “So what, it would have kept the door open for us though,” he said, his voice full of desperation and longing. “I wanted you with me. Near me. Loving me. I needed you, Jules.”

  Jules closed her eyes a moment and took a breath. Was what he said true? Did he really want her with him through those interviews, shoots, and all the days that had passed? She knew she wanted to be with him, but still there was the fear.

  “I needed your love, baby.”

  Jules opened her eyes and looked at him. He was everything to her and he was there. Finally, there in front of her. She thought of all her lonely days and even lonelier nights. How lost she’d felt. How much sorrow and shame she felt for how she’d ended it. She’d needed him too.

  The revelation of it hit her hard in the heart, and at the same time in places she’d essentially kept closed off for the past year. Only opening to Aaron in her fantasies in her most private times and thoughts. She reached up and slowly slid her hand around his neck. Tipping up and leaning forward she let her lips meet her husband’s once again for the first time in so very long.

  The rush was incredible. Like all her past fantasies came to life in 4D. He invaded every one of her senses at once as his lips softened and pulsed under hers and his hand came around her waist to pull her in close to his body. Instantly, Jules felt his hardness on her upper belly and heat pooled between her legs. Easy, she was always so damned easy when it came to him. With that thought, doubts started to crowd her mind as his hand went down and cupped her behind softly while he coaxed her lips apart with his tongue.

  “Don’t do that, Jules,” he said, his voice a low
whisper into her mouth. “I know the moment you start thinking. Don’t think right now. Just feel. It’s been way too long, and this is heaven.”

  “Heaven,” she breathed out. He was right. It was heaven and why was she denying herself this bliss? Jules let her lips open to receive Aaron’s tongue at the same time she ran her hand across his chest. He felt perfect. He let out a small moan as their kissing dominance switched and she sucked lightly on his tongue. Enjoying the throb of life within her mouth. The feel of them as one. Their breaths and bodies melded as they sank to the bed.

  Jules wrapped her legs around Aaron’s waist as he pulled back and looked her in the eye. His stare was long as if he was trying to really see her, to both see her and memorize her at the same time. He was looking deep. Deeper than he’d ever looked at her before. She stared back at him. He was still her Aaron, the same but still she could see how he’d changed over the past year. It wasn’t just the slight physical change in his body, he’d changed mentally. The old Aaron never looked at her this hard, he didn’t study her in this way. Their relationship, though close to perfect, she could now admit had been more about him, even when he was loving her. That man was easy, this man was not and it worried Jules that she couldn’t read this Aaron’s thoughts the same way she once did.

  He leaned down and kissed her on the pulsating point of her throat. Instinctively she arched her back, her breasts pushing up at him.

  “So, are we doing this?” he asked, gazing into her eyes.

  She nodded. “I don’t see how I can stop.”

  He smiled and Jules was both excited and chilled at the same time. No, there was no way she was stopping. He was here and she wasn’t missing out on this opportunity to be with her husband at least for one more night.

  Chapter 8

  Aaron woke with a smile. Jules was still there. Warm and perfect by his side. Last night had been more than he could even dream of. They made love three times, and he was exhausted but also exhilarated. Not that he could brag over much. The moment he was inside her the first time last night, he’d come so fast it was almost embarrassing. Of course, in true Jules form, she didn’t let it pass.