Starboard Vow

by K. M. Jackson

  They were breathing hard and she was ready, so ready, naked and under him, happy and complete from her own satiation under his hands and mouth and there he was as ready to go as he’d ever been in his life. He was so excited when he finally sank deep into her, he couldn’t hold back and let go within moments. Gah! Seconds maybe. Some action star he was. They were each silenced and panting hard when suddenly Jules burst out laughing.

  “What’s so funny. This is embarrassing and you’re laughing. You really have changed.”

  “No,” she said. Leaning up and kissing him. “I guess you really did mean what you said about not being with anyone else. I, well, enjoyed the compliment of your quick release.”

  He groaned, quickly followed by a laugh, looking her in the eye. It felt so good to be with someone he could trust this much. “Fine, Mrs. Smarty-pants. Game on. Be prepared for a long night. I may have been quick that time, but I’ve got a strong rebound. You will rue those words,” he said, leaning down and taking her nipple into his mouth.

  She giggled and wiggled under him. “Oh, game on for sure. I look forward to seeing how well you score tonight, Mr. Manning.”

  Aaron couldn’t stop smiling thinking about it. And having her with him now, having her in his arms, made him feel complete.

  “What time is it?” Jules said, suddenly bolting up and jolting Aaron out of his musings.

  “What?” he asked, confused by her jumping up and at the same time nervous because she was way too quickly moving out of the space of his arms. Aaron pulled her back in and down towards him, relieved to have her body next to his once again.

  “Where are you running off to?” he asked. “It’s only 6:30. Way too early for you to be getting up. Besides we barely got any sleep last night at all.”

  Jules groaned and brought her hand up to cover her eyes. “Don’t remind me. What did we do? What did I do?”

  Aaron couldn’t keep the confusion from his voice. “Honey, I know it’s been a long time for the both of us, but I’m sure you don’t need to have me explain to you in detail what we did. Now if you’d like a repeat of it to further your education, I’ll be happy to oblige,” he joked.

  Jules pushed at him and went to get up. Immediately noticing her nakedness, she grabbed at the sheet covering them and used it to cover her own body. Aaron cocked his head at her when she looked down and noticed that her sheet swipe left him naked and at full attention. He raised a brow “Like I said, would you like me to explain further?”

  “Ugh. You are infuriating,” she replied, as she threw the sheet back on him and reached down to the floor, grabbing for her discarded panties and bra from the night before and quickly putting them on. Jules turned back Aaron’s way as she pulled her shirt down over her head and let out a frustrated sigh. “Aaron, I don’t have time for this right now, and honestly I really did just come here last night to talk.” She smiled and, in that smile, he could see the memory of what they did the night before fluttering across her mind. There was no regret in that smile, only sweet pleasure, and he felt his body twitch with the longing to bring that pleasure back to her once again.

  “Okay, fine then,” Aaron started. “Let’s just say we talked in our own special way. You and I were always great communicators, Jules.”

  Jules looked at him, her expression going blank. “You know as well as I do that what’s going on between us will take more than a fantastic night between the sheets.”

  Aaron swallowed and closed his eyes against her cold words. Finally, he looked back at her, wanting to say so much but not able to truly control his thoughts as they tangled together. “A night between the sheets? So that’s all last night was?” he asked. “I thought we were on our way back to building something special. Enough of this being apart Jules. It’s time for us to come out into the light once and for all.”

  Aaron tossed the sheets aside and went to get up and head to his duffle. He was about to reach inside for the box when Jules put her hand on his and stopped him.

  He turned around and took in the desperate and scared look in her eyes. She shook her head. “No, last night was more than just a toss in the sheets and you know it. Last night was the goodbye we should have had but didn’t and that was my fault. I’m so sorry I robbed you of that. I should have given you a proper goodbye and in person instead of leaving like I did. But we’re over. We have to be over. More than anything, Aaron, I want to see you happy, and I want to see you succeed. And for you to do that, I can’t be in your life.” Tears pricked her lashes, and Aaron’s hands shook with the need to wipe them away. Catch them before they fell.

  “I know how this business is,” she continued. “I know what the studio said, and they were right. You ask Morris and he’d agree. This is for the best.” She paused for a moment, and he could see the wheels turning in her head. She swallowed. “Who knows if it was later in your career, maybe three or four years down the line, and you were a little more established, things could be different, but I won’t have you hold on and wait for me. It’s just not fair. I want you to live truly, freely, and happily. Do everything it takes to realize your dream. I won’t be the one holding you up from that.”

  Aaron was stunned speechless. She couldn’t be more wrong, but he didn’t know what it would take to get through to her. He watched as she put on her skirt and slipped on her shoes. She bent to pick up the discarded envelope from the night before from where it had ended up wedged between the loveseat and the nightstand.

  “Please sign,” she said. “Do this for you. Don’t let anything hold you back anymore.”

  And with that, she went to his door, opened it carefully, looked out, he supposed to make sure the coast was clear, and then she was gone.

  Chapter 9

  Jules was in full panic mode and it annoyed her more than anything else. She didn’t do panicking. She was the queen of cool and prided herself on that fact. But there she was after one night with Aaron and she didn’t know herself or her mind anymore. Thankfully, she successfully snuck out of his room and back into her own, though there’d been a few hairy moments in the hallway when she’d almost gotten caught by a couple of folks from the cleaning crew on her way down to her cabin.

  She was lucky enough to have made it up in the ranks and have a cabin to herself. At least there would be no need for explaining. She didn’t know what excuse she’d give a roommate if she had to. Fraternizing between crew was generally frowned upon but a regular occurrence in their line of work where the tours were so long. So once hookups happened it was big news. It was even bigger news though if said hookup happened with a passenger. That was pretty much a no go.

  But Aaron wasn’t just a passenger. He was technically her husband, even if no one knew it. And try as she might, she couldn’t hang what they did last night in the hookup category.

  After a quick wash up, Jules changed to get in a run on the treadmill in the staff gym. She wasn’t on call until later that evening but had to get rid of some of her anxiety somehow. She found the gym empty except for Angelo who was pretty much a workout fiend. She greeted him, and got a nod back between his bench presses, when a text came through on her phone.

  Crap, she should have known he’d not give up so easily. Annoyed, she marched towards the VIP guest gym.

  “What is it Aaron? Why did you call for me?” she asked, her arms crossed over her chest, eyes squarely on his and not on his chest straining his tank top or his thighs giving his workout shorts a workout of their own.

  He looked her up and down. “You going for a run this morning?” he asked. “I had a feeling you would be. You usually do that when you have some things you want to work out in your mind. Why don’t you run with me? I have some things I want to work out too?”

  Jules frowned. “Staff don’t usually exercise with guests. At least non-trainers don’t. Now if you’d like a trainer, I’d be happy to call one for you.”

  He gave her a bland smile. “You know I would not. I’d like you to run with me. I’m not asking
for anything more. You can at least give me that.” His look grew more challenging. “Besides, I’m a VIP. Don’t you all pride yourselves on doing just about anything for your VIPs. I’d think this would be nothing.”

  They stared at each other for a few moments, but Jules already knew that Aaron had won. He was right, they would do anything for their VIPs or at least close to it. If she said no she’d probably come off as petty and she didn’t want to give him that type of power. Why let him know he was getting to her that much. She needed to be cool and just get through this.

  “Fine, I’ll run with you.”

  “Great!” He grinned wide and reached out to grab her by the hand and pull her towards the outside sky deck. When Jules pulled back, he turned to her. “It’s a beautiful day. Why not take in some air while we run?”

  “Why can’t we just run on the treadmills here. It’s quiet and there’s nobody around. You can still get your workout and I’ll be right here too.”

  He tilted his head and gave her a challenging glare. “Have you always been this timid?” The fact that he asked the question both infuriated and embarrassed Jules.

  “What do you mean timid? I’m not afraid of anything?” she protested.

  He shook his head, his eyes softening. “Really, because from where I stand it looks like you’re afraid of everything or at least everything when it comes to being seen with me.”

  His words hit her hard, but Jules couldn’t let him know that. “Okay. We’ll run outside. This ship is big, and a few laps around will be a good workout. Most people are probably still asleep anyway, getting over the parties last night,” she mumbled to herself.

  Aaron nodded and headed out. “Come on I’ll race you. Let’s see if you still have some of your old speed, Mrs. Manning.”

  Jules felt heat rise in her cheeks at the use of her married name. She couldn’t tell if it was anger or joy, since she hadn’t heard that name in so long. Still the rush of pleasure was undeniable, and instead of arguing she followed Aaron out onto the sky deck.

  As they ran Jules took in how finely-honed Aaron’s muscles had become. How truly, devastatingly handsome he was. He was so much more than he appeared on the screen or the internet blogs, or in the tabloids. This man was magnificent and, for a short time, he’d been hers.

  Was she a fool to have let him go without even a fight? Maybe she was, but she couldn’t help but be happy for him. He was indeed talented, and he was doing what he was meant to do. That was incredible. Jules let go and, in that moment, took in the cool breeze kicking up from the ocean as the Elegance made its way, cutting swiftly through the choppy seas. There was no land on either side of them, only blue water and wind against their bodies as the two of them ran, their movements and breaths keeping time with each other.

  They made it two whole laps around the ship without talking, or teasing or bickering and thankfully, without seeing any passengers; for that time, Jules was happy. It almost felt like old times. On their third lap Jules felt curious eyes trained her way as the ship started coming to life and morning passengers came out to take in the splendor of the day at sea. That too, felt too close to old times, the early days when Aaron’s star was early on the rise and he was just starting to get recognized. She was always getting harsh looks, questioning glares that made her feel like a third wheel in their relationship for two.

  Jules’s gait faltered when she caught the questioning eyes of a couple of twenty somethings looking at her and Aaron. She faltered even more when one of the deck crew members winked at her as she passed while he was putting out chairs for sunbathers. And, oh no, was that a paparazzi lens trained their way?

  Aaron stopped and looked back at her. For the first time she noticed how far she’d fallen behind him.

  “Hey, what are you doing way back there? We’ve got two more laps to go, Jules. Come on, this is a workout not a walk out,” he yelled playfully.

  She nodded and gave him a thumbs up. She wouldn’t show her fear, not now when she only had to get through these next days. That’s all she had to do and then this would all be over. There would be no more judging eyes and no more speculation. Aaron ran in place waiting for her, giving her a shrug and a big smile. In that moment, it was as if the sun became even brighter and she got a new burst of energy. She ran fast and went past him, poking him in his side. “Now who needs to catch up?” she teased and stuck out her tongue.

  “Oh, you’ll pay for that,” he said, running to catch up to her.

  No doubt I will, Jules thought to herself, no doubt I will.

  Chapter 10

  Jules should have known the feeling of joy she had wouldn’t last. She successfully finished her run with Aaron and thankfully extricated herself from him without any further talk of reconciliation, though none of divorce either, but she was happy enough to leave it as it was with just their run. She made her way back to her cabin for another quick shower and change before heading to the staff dining hall. She’d barely finished, when her phone buzzed again. She half expected it to be Aaron but saw it was Dina with an SOS, telling her to meet her at her cabin right away.

  “What the hell is going on,” Dina started in. “Are you and that star hubby of yours back together? Why do I have to call out to you for this kind of info. Shouldn’t I be the first, well, at least the second to know?”

  Jules pulled up short, before letting out a huff. “No, we are not back together. What makes you think that?”

  “Well, you were up bright and early running together. And frowns aside, your skin is positively glowing.”

  Jules sighed. She couldn’t deny either, but, damn, news traveled fast. “Doesn’t this crew have anything better to do than gossip?”

  Dina shook her head. “You know we don’t. Now spill. What is the dirt? Did you or did you not finally end your drought last night?”

  Jules gave her friend a hard stare, but Dina saw right through it and squealed. “Yay! I’m so happy for you. It was way overdue. I was about to send you to medical if you didn’t jump that good-looking man. I’m so happy for you.” Her face went serious then. “But I am going to miss you. It will be boring here without you. But promise me you’ll invite me once in a while to your fabulous Hollywood parties, will you?”

  “Would you slow your roll,” Jules said. “Who says I’m leaving? It’s not like Aaron and I are back together. My plan is still on track.”

  Dina looked confused. “Your plan. Honey, that plan was crap. This plan is so much better. Take your man and go be happy. Live your life.”

  Jules shook her head. “It’s not that easy.”

  “Why the hell not?” Dina admonished. “You and your plans and need for control, thinking everything must be mapped out to a T. Sure, nothing is that easy, but it doesn’t have to be as hard as you’re making it. Where is it written that you must live your life for everyone else? And why are you making him live his that way too?”

  “I’m . . . I’m not.”

  “If you say so. Listen I know I’m overstepping, but I’m all in now. Why is it you slept with him last night when you have had plenty of offers in this past year from plenty of good-looking, eligible men for sex and more? And how about him. From the looks of things with him and that Poppy, I’d say it’s pretty much one-sided if that. Seems like a lot of show for me. Why was it less than eight hours in that man’s presence and you couldn’t keep away from him?”

  Jules was stumped. Why, was a darned good question. She’d told herself it was a goodbye, but what was it really? If she was honest, she wanted it. Not it . . . Aaron. She needed him and needed him desperately in every conceivable way. But how could she be with him when she was such a hindrance to his life? The realization of it all hit her square in the heart at the same time that her stomach let out a loud growl. Saved by the bell! Jules shook her head.

  “I don’t want to deal with this right now, Dina. The fact that I slept with Aaron last night was a form of closure for me, and I’m glad I did it. But now I’m ready to move o
n. Come on, let’s eat. As you can tell, I worked up an appetite last night.”

  Chapter 11

  It was just a run, Aaron told himself, trying hard to not get excited about his time with Jules that morning. But still he couldn’t help it. The little bit of time he had with her was more precious to him than anything he could imagine, but along with that, the thought of having to disembark without her by his side as his wife was almost more than he could bear. He didn’t know how he could possibly go on without her. On the outside it looked like he’d made it just fine, but in reality, he was anything but.

  Back in his room after showering, he rubbed a weary hand across his forehead as he waited for the call time for meeting with the crew to prepare for the fan meeting they would have on board. There was also a private meeting scheduled with the director about Starboard 2 and his and Poppy’s romantic arc. Though he knew the movie and his personal life were separate, it was time to make it clear with the director and the rest of the studio heads that the line must no longer be blurred.

  Poppy was a good actor and they worked well together on screen. Aaron also liked the direction of the new script, but he’d no longer be a pawn to advance another person’s career. This was ending now. He and Jules’s happiness was worth so much more to him, even if it meant this would be his last moments in the spotlight.

  Aaron sent a quick text to Morris letting him know that he was on his way, then headed off for the meeting.

  ♥ ♥ ♥

  The day progressed better than Jules expected. Thanks to Dina she had been able to quash the rumor mill amongst the rest of the staff about what could possibly be going on between her and Aaron. Everyone knew that she was a stickler for her job and would do whatever it took to keep the guests happy or at least that was the way Dina had spun it. In the end, the star run turned out to not be such a big deal.