Beyond Always (Lex and Amanda Series)

by Carrie Carr

  Amanda put her hand on Melanie's head and leaned to kiss Lex lightly on the forehead. "How are you feeling?"

  "Better." Lex fought through a rattling cough and grimaced at the pain in her chest and throat. "Sorry."

  "Sssh, it's okay." Amanda brushed Lex's limp hair back with her hand. "Try not to talk too much. I just thought you'd like to see the rug rats."

  "Thanks," Lex mouthed. What small amount of energy she had seemed to be ebbing away.

  Amanda noticed. She helped Melanie stand on the chair beside the bed. "Give Momma a kiss so we can go. It's time for her nap."

  "Momma has to take naps?" Melanie asked. She kissed Lex on the cheek. "Have a good sleep, Momma."

  "I will," Lex whispered. "Love you."

  Melanie giggled when Lex poked her stomach. "Love you, Momma."

  She climbed down and pointed to the bear. "Don't forget to sleep with Mr. Bear."

  Lex nodded. She turned to Lorrie, who appeared embarrassed. "You okay, lil' bit?"

  "Yeah." Lorrie awkwardly patted her on the arm. "Hope you feel better."

  Lex looked at Amanda, who shrugged. Lex started to say something, but another painful cough wracked her body. She held her good arm to her chest and closed her eyes until the sharp pain lessened then fell back against the pillows.

  Lorrie and Melanie both looked scared to death. Amanda put her arm around Mel and held out her other arm to Lorrie. "It's okay, girls. Momma's going to cough like that for a while, but she's going to be all right."

  "Yeah," Lex wheezed. "Sorry."

  Amanda hugged the girls and released them. "See?"

  She stepped around them and touched Lex on the cheek. "Behave yourself, so you can come home soon. All right?"

  Lex opened her mouth, but Amanda covered it before she could say anything.

  "I love you, too." Amanda replaced her hand with her lips for a brief moment. "Get some rest."

  "Yes, ma'am," Lex mouthed.

  She raised one hand and waved to the girls, who waved back. "Be good," she whispered, getting a grin from each of them. She looked at her family for as long as her eyes would stay open, keeping her eyes on Amanda's until she drifted off to sleep.

  Chapter Thirteen

  ELLIE PARKED HER old Corolla in the driveway and turned to her partner, who sat in the passenger seat. "Have I thanked you for taking today off?"

  "Several times. I'll have to admit, when you first asked me to take Valentine's Day off, I thought your plans would be a little more romantic." Kyle rubbed her hands together. "At least it's warmer today."

  In deference to the warmer temperatures, she was wearing a tight, black T-shirt with her faded jeans instead of a denim shirt.

  "Yeah." Ellie turned off the car. "I'm not sure how long this will take, but I'll be glad to take you out to dinner afterward."

  Kyle put her hand on Ellie's thigh. "Babe, don't worry about it. I was kidding." She squeezed her lover's leg. "Neither one of us is the candlelight dinner and flowers type. And I'd rather show you every day how much I love you, instead of making it once a year."

  "You're a lot more romantic than you let people think." Ellie leaned across the car and kissed her lightly on the lips. "Come on, hot stuff. Let's get this over with."

  They got out of the car at the same time and walked toward the house side by side. Before they reached the front porch, the door opened.

  Anna Leigh waved as they drew closer. "Come in, girls. I have some coffee and iced tea prepared, whichever you prefer." She gave each of them a hug as they crossed the threshold.

  "Mrs. Cauble, you didn't have to go to any trouble," Ellie said.

  "Please, call me Anna Leigh. I thought we've talked about that before. It was so nice of you and Kylie to come clean out the workshop. Michael won't step foot out there and poor Jeannie's too busy with the children."

  As she did with Lex, Anna Leigh used Kyle's proper name, much to the younger woman's embarrassment. She led them to the kitchen and directed them to a chair. "Now. Coffee or iced tea?"

  Kyle waited until Ellie was seated before taking the chair beside her. "Iced tea would be nice, ma'am."

  Anna Leigh poured them each a glass. "Do you have any special plans for this evening?"

  They looked at one another and laughed. Ellie said, "We were just talking about that in the car. But no, we don't."

  "I see."

  "Neither one of us thinks it's right, to celebrate on just one day," Kyle explained. "That's like saying I only love you when I'm told to.

  And I don't like that at all."

  Anna Leigh patted her hand. "You sound a lot like my Jacob. He used to grumble that all the holidays were invented by card companies." Her smile faded. "I have an entire drawer full of little notes he'd write to me, just because he felt like it."

  She cleared her throat and straightened in her chair. "Well, you're not here to listen to the musings of an old woman. Let me show you to the workshop."

  Ellie shot a panicked glance at Kyle, who nodded.

  Kyle covered Anna Leigh's hand with her own. "Mrs... I mean, Anna Leigh, we're here for you, however you need us. I can only hope to have that kind of long-lasting love."

  "Thank you, dear. I would have to say that you both are off to a very good start."

  She stood and brushed off her slacks, as if to brush away painful memories. "I've already had someone from the high school come by and gather all the projects and leftover wood, so all that is left is to go through the tools and pack them up."

  Ellie stood and gave the older woman a hug. She didn't say anything, content to just hold Anna Leigh and give her whatever comfort she could.

  AMANDA HUMMED TO herself as she swept the small pile of dirt and dog hair into the dustpan. She glanced around the kitchen, satisfied that the floor was as clean as it was going to get. With the girls in school, and Eddie spending the morning with his Pawpaw Charlie, it was the only time she had to get housework done. She turned to take the broom and dustpan to the hall utility closet and screamed when she saw someone in the doorway.

  "You scared the crap out of me," Amanda scolded. "What are you doing down here?"

  Lex leaned against the door frame. Her face was pale and her pajamas hung loosely on her. "It's too quiet upstairs, so I thought I'd come down and see what you were doing." Her voice was soft, as if every breath was difficult.

  "Honey, you should have called. I would have helped you." Amanda leaned the broom against one of the kitchen chairs and walked to her wife.

  "I've been out of the hospital..." Lex coughed and held onto the door frame to keep from falling. She took a moment to catch her breath. When she spoke again, her voice was just above a whisper. "I've been home for almost a week."

  Today was the first time she had even felt like getting out of bed. Now she wanted to get her strength back and forget about the past couple of weeks.

  Amanda put her arm around Lex's waist. "And you spent a full week in the hospital with pneumonia. Forgive me if I worry about you."

  "Nothing to forgive." Lex leaned against her and kissed the top of Amanda's head. "But if I don't start moving around some, I'll never get my strength back." She held back another cough, pressing her left hand against the pain in her chest. "Damn."

  "Come on, tough stuff. If you want to stay downstairs, let's get you comfortable in the den."

  "Tough stuff, huh?" Lex moved slowly as she was led to the front of the house. "I could probably walk by myself, you know."

  Amanda poked her in the ribs. "Don't ruin my fun."

  "Yes, ma'am." Lex shuffled along beside Amanda. By the time they reached the den, she was breathing heavily. "This is ridiculous," she panted, as she dropped onto the sofa. When Amanda sat beside her, she put her left arm across the back of the sofa.

  "I'd ask if you'd like to fool around, but I don't think I'm up to it."

  "You're not?" Amanda scooted to the opposite end of the sofa and patted her lap. "How about you stretch out and catch your breath?"


  When Lex didn't move, she gave the stubborn woman a glare. "Let me rephrase that. Lie down and put your head in my lap."

  "Is that an order?"

  "Let's just say it's a forceful request. Come on. If you don't, I'll have to get up and do more housework."

  "Well, we can't have that, can we?"

  Amanda kicked off her shoes and turned so that her legs were on the couch. "I forgot that you're not supposed to lie flat. Come here and lean against my chest."

  "The things I have to endure," Lex sighed dramatically, but did as she was told. As she rested against Amanda, she felt the security and comfort of her wife's arms around her. "This is nice."

  "Sure is." Amanda kissed the back of Lex's ear. "How's your arm?"

  After she'd returned from the hospital, Lex had removed the sling, since the most strenuous thing she did was go from the bed to the bathroom.

  "A little achy, but not bad."

  In the hospital, Lex had been fitted with a smaller brace for her upper arm. She slowly clenched her right hand into a loose fist. The stitches had been removed before she left the hospital, and she was determined to get the full use of her hand as soon as possible. She began to cough and Amanda's arms tightened around her. After she was able to breathe again, she closed her eyes and relaxed. "Thanks."

  "You don't have to thank me, love. But I hate to see you suffer like this."

  Lex turned her head so she could see Amanda's face. "What? No I told you so because I was out in the rain and sleet for hours?"

  "Not this time. It's not like you did it out of spite. You had work to do. That's different. Besides, the doctor said you were already coming down with pneumonia before you were out in the elements."

  "Ah." Lex kissed Amanda's arm. "Maybe you could talk to Martha, then. She gives me grief at least once a day."

  Amanda giggled and squeezed her. "Poor baby. Is big, bad Mada picking on you?"

  "Uh-huh."

  "Aww." Amanda kissed the top of her head. "Bless your heart."

  Lex nodded pitifully, then realized what Amanda had said. "Hey!" When Amanda nuzzled her hair, Lex closed her eyes. "Feels nice," she mumbled.

  "Ssssh." Amanda rested her head against Lex's. "Rest."

  "Yes'm."

  THEY HAD BEEN working for hours without a break. Ellie glanced at her lover, who was clearing out a lower cabinet. Kyle was covered with sawdust, but seemed completely at ease with the task before them. Unlike Ellie, who had almost immediately broken out into a sweat and was slower because she didn't want to get dirty.

  "Hey, cool!" Kyle crawled from beneath the cabinet and raised a wooden item. "Check it out, Ellie."

  Ellie wiped her hands on a paper towel and stepped over a pile of rags. "What is it?"

  "An old toolbox." Kyle held the box with the reverence usually reserved for a priceless artifact. "Isn't it awesome? My great-grandfather had one."

  Wrinkling her nose, Ellie cocked her head and studied it. "Uh, I guess."

  The lower part of the wooden box was rectangular, with a piece of wood across the top for a handle. It was empty, but she could tell that it had been used for many years before being retired. "Wouldn't the tools fall out?"

  "Nah. It's deep enough to hold them, but not so deep that you can't find anything. I wonder if Mrs. Cauble would let me buy it."

  "Absolutely not," a voice echoed from the door. Anna Leigh carefully stepped through the shop.

  Kyle set the box down. "Hey, no problem. I was just--"

  Anna Leigh held up her hand. "What I meant was that you won't pay me a cent, Kylie. I want you to have the tool box."

  She picked up the box and turned it around slowly in her hands. "This was one of the first things Jacob made, you know. I think he'd be thrilled that it would go to someone who would enjoy it." She handed it to Kyle.

  "Thank you, ma'am. I'll treasure it. Maybe one of your great-grandchildren will like it, when they're older. I'll take good care of it for them."

  "I know you will, dear. I'm happy to keep it in the family." Anna Leigh made a show of looking around. "It appears as though you girls are almost finished. Why don't you come in for lunch?"

  Both women looked at one another. Kyle was the first to speak. "I'm going to have to do some serious washing up before I'd even think of joining you inside. I think I have years of sawdust on me."

  "There's a washroom in that corner." Anna Leigh pointed to their left. "I'm sure there are enough clean towels. Jacob was always afraid of bringing in half his work with him, so he had it built years ago. Come inside as soon as you're ready. I have a huge pot of chili on the stove."

  She smiled at them and turned to walk away.

  On her way to the door, Anna Leigh paused and looked at a bare spot on the floor. No longer surrounded by pieces of furniture, the surface was eerily clean. Unaware of her audience, she said something softly under her breath and slowly moved away. Her shoulders were slumped, and she shuffled along as if she felt every one of her years.

  Once they were alone, Kyle walked to where Anna Leigh had stood. "I wonder what that was all about?"

  Ellie stepped next to Kyle. "She came out to get Jacob, and found him on the floor. I guess this must be the spot." She felt a cold chill and hugged herself. "How horrible, to come in and find him like that."

  Kyle put her arms around her lover. "Yeah. I don't know how she's survived."

  She lowered her voice. "How could you function, after losing the person you'd spent sixty years loving? God."

  She rested her head on Ellie's shoulder and closed her eyes. She had only known Ellie for a year. Just the thought of losing her made her weak. "I couldn't handle it."

  WHEN LEX AWAKENED, she was alone and the house was silent. She sat up and realized she had been resting on a large pillow that Amanda had sneaked behind her. She blinked and checked the clock above the fireplace. "Almost four? Damn, I didn't realize I was that tired."

  She stood with a yawn and a stretch. She quietly walked past the dog bed where Freckles slept.

  Lex cautiously inhaled, pleased when she didn't go into a coughing fit. When her stomach growled to remind her that she had missed lunch, she headed for the kitchen. Halfway down the hall, she saw the back door fly open.

  "I win!" Melanie yelled. She charged through the door and tossed her backpack near the bench it belonged on. "Ha! I kicked your hiney, Lorrie." She skidded to a halt when she saw Lex. "Momma! You're all better!"

  "Yep."

  Melanie raced toward her. She pressed her cheek against Lex's stomach and hugged her with all her might. "I'm so glad."

  "Me too, kiddo." Lex stroked the mop of blonde curls.

  A happy bark came from the den and Freckles sprinted down the hall. She danced around Melanie, before she raced toward the back door.

  Lorrie came into the house much quieter than her sister. "Hey, Momma."

  She laid her backpack on the bench and hung her denim jacket on one of the hooks above. "I guess you're feeling better?" She absently scratched Freckles behind one ear as the dog kept up with her.

  Lex walked forward with Melanie hanging onto her. "I decided I goofed off long enough."

  "Mel, quit hanging on Momma. She's been sick," Lorrie ordered.

  "Hey, I'm fine." Lex held her hand out to Lorrie. "Come here."

  Lorrie shrugged. "No, that's okay." She leaned against the wall and stuffed her hands into the front pockets of her jeans. Freckles obediently sat next to her, staring up with an adoring look.

  Lex just barely refrained from rolling her eyes at Lorrie's attempt at being cool. "Where's your mom?"

  "She went to get Eddie at Pawpaw's," Melanie answered. "I got to sit in the back seat of the bus today."

  "That's great, sweetheart." Lex patted her back. "Why don't you run see if your mom needs any help?"

  "Okey-dokey." Once her back was turned toward Lex, Melanie stuck her tongue out at Lorrie. "See ya."

  Lorrie glared at her, but didn't say anything. She pushed away f
rom the wall, intent on leaving.

  "Hold up, lil' bit. What's going on?" Lex moved closer and put her hand on Lorrie's shoulder.

  "Nothin'."

  Lex touched Lorrie's chin so that she'd raise her head. "It's got to be something, to make you so surly." A tickle in her chest couldn't be ignored and she began to cough.

  Worried, Lorrie stepped forward and held her mother until the cough subsided. "Maybe you should go back to bed."

  "No," Lex wheezed. She used her good arm against the wall to hold herself upright. Truth be told, she didn't think she could walk that far. "Let's go to the kitchen and wait for your mom."

  "Are you sure? If Mom comes in and sees you, she's gonna be mad."

  "Nah. She'll be fine."

  Once they were seated with a glass of milk for Lorrie and juice for Lex and a plate of Martha's brown sugar cookies between them, Lex tapped the table. "Now, it's just you and me. Want to tell me what's got your britches in a bunch?"

  "I dunno." Lorrie nibbled on a cookie. She ignored the plaintive whine from beneath the table and stared at the cookie plate for a long moment. "Momma?"

  "Hmm?"

  Unable to look Lex in the eye, Lorrie stacked the cookies in a neat pile then changed it to a circle. When her mother covered her hand, she finally looked up. "Before you met Mom, did you have a best friend?"

  "No, not really. I didn't have time to make many friends, because I had to help my dad with the ranch. Why?"

  Lorrie turned away. "Allison's been my best friend forever. We've always done everything together, you know?"

  Not sure where the conversation was headed, Lex scooted her chair closer. She put her hand on the back of Lorrie's chair. "Yep."

  "Since Jerry's come back, we've all been hanging out together. And that's cool. But now they're doing stuff without me." Lorrie looked up at Lex and there were tears in her eyes. "When I ask Al why, she just makes excuses."

  She blinked the tears away, impatiently wiping them off her cheeks. "How come she doesn't like me anymore? What's wrong with me?"

  Lex sighed. She didn't think she was ready for this particular talk. She rubbed the back of her neck, praying for a relapse. "Well, it sounds like Ally and Jerry like one another in a different way from being just friends. That's probably why you're not included."