PS... Trust Me (TAT: A Rocker Romance Book 8)

by Emjay Soren

  She laughs once the shock wears off from my comment. “Carrie, I hope you understand that Chad doesn’t love anyone other than Chad.” She was a snide bitch with no class. I knew this, but there was something in her tone that forced my attention.

  “Well Trisha, that’s where you’re wrong; Chad loves me.” I stood my ground and defended what we had and would with everything inside of me. He was mine and there was no way some loud-mouthed bitch could change that. This was my first test dealing with the swarms of women who would kill for a chance with Chad. Trisha had his past, but I had his future.

  “I don’t think you have the experience or the stamina for the likes of Chad Blake.” Her tone was far from polite sure, but she sounded almost sad for me. “I know you love him, maybe he thinks he loves you, but faithful-” she looked at me with her eyes wide and brows cocked- “that man has no idea what the word means. I saw your claw marks in his back in Spokane when me and my girls came to the show. I saw them because I left a few of my own in their wake.”

  Everything inside of me froze with an eerie fucking calm. I saw the marks in his back, the old ones that Noah had tattooed. I had kissed and licked along the remaining lines; lines that seemed too fresh to have been mine. Lines, I thought Noah had reopened when scrubbing Chad’s back for the tattoo. I wasn’t stupid however, and I knew that there could be several reasons for how she knew about the tats. Cal was always networking the band and Facebook had been overhauled with over three hundred pictures from the tour. There were a few ways I knew this. I also know that Trisha had been it for Chad the few times they dated. I knew that the relationship between them had been tumultuous at best and that yes, she could be very bitter for having lost him.

  But the fresh scratches made me nervous as did the fact Trisha and I had one thing in common. We both knew Chad like his back scratched, and hard. Not willing to give her an inch and see what her accusation was doing to me, I smiled thick and sweet looking her square in the eye. “I know it’s hard when the one you love moves on. I bet it’s even harder when who he moves on with is in a higher grade of class than you ever would or could be. I know it’s hard to see the adoration and the respect for me in his eyes, but do not mistake who I am. I am who you will never be.” I squared my shoulders and took another step closer wanting to snap her vibrant red hair from her head. Oh yeah, my claws were out and sharpened.

  “I warn you once Trisha and only once. I can see how bad it eats you that you will never touch him again, but I won’t be this nice next time. I will punch you in the face without thought or reason if you don’t find your boundaries and keep behind the line. Cross it and all bets are off and I’ll beat your pretty little ass. Women like you are why we have a bad reputation as drama and jealous. If, and it’s a big if, but if Chad does come back to you for more of your lack luster sex and you think it’s because your special or what he wants or needs, I can promise you it’s not. You are one in a million in a long line of warm bodies that had kept him warm until I came along.” I shrug even though I am scared shitless from what she said. “He chooses to come back to that life; it will be because I left his. Understand?”

  I didn’t wait for a response but made my way to the door refusing to miss his big show for this woman’s bullshit. “Carrie?” She called and I wish I hadn’t stopped but I did, my anger pushing me for a fight.

  I turn and look at her but say nothing when she walks closer to me. I am stiff and on edge with my fists clenched in case she really does want this fight to happen. “Did he tell you why we split up? After three years, off and on, why he and I ended?”

  “No, but it’s because it doesn’t matter to me.”

  “It should because it’s gonna happen to you, it has happened to you.” Her smile was sad, and it bothered me trying to figure out exactly what she was getting at. “He has already done to you what he did to me. He was in Olympia for a show, slept with a fangirl and got her pregnant. You know the show, right? No, you don’t because Noah didn’t want you to know anything of what they are like. He fucked me three nights ago and didn’t mention you until after his conscience banged on the door, or in your case, Noah. Ask your brother Carrie and see what he says. I may not be pregnant, but I was definitely with him, scratching his back and ruining the one thing that mattered to him, just like he ruined me.”

  Trisha walked past me then and left me shocked and hurt, Candy standing there shocked stupid beside me. “Please tell me that skank didn’t just try and say Chad cheated on you?” Candy was furious and definitely ready to battle beside me and defend my honor, but I was too busy trying to catch my breath and keep my tears at bay. Could Chad have cheated? Yes absolutely. Was I being a fool by giving him the benefit of the doubt? Most likely. Would Noah let Chad cheat on me and do nothing? I highly doubted it. Jesus fuck! The scratches were new, and I knew they were but had overlooked it…Chad in bed earlier begging me to never leave… oh God we had sex without a condom.

  Before I could process my next thought, my stomach turned and emptied right there in the middle of the meet and greet room.

  *

  By the time I was able to take a deep breath and speak, Candy had Noah by the balls and in the women’s bathroom just outside the room I vomited in. I had splashed my face with water and was now trying not to cry the ugly cry. Once I saw Noah, I knew it would be harder than anything to keep my mouth shut and let him have his moment in front of all Seattle.

  “What the fuck Candy? Damn!” Noah snarled as she pulled him into the room, her hand literally gripping his nuts in her tiny hand. The minute Noah saw me, though in pain from her tight grip, he forgot everything and gently pulled Candy from his junk so he could get to me. He looked between us both, fear and anger a heartbeat in his eyes. “Is dad here?”

  God, I hated that he worried so much for me. There was no way that Chad would cheat on me and Noah would know and do nothing about it. “Nothing happened.” I whispered and looked at Candy pleading with her to not say a word.

  “Candy gripped me by the balls in front of everyone and forced me out of the room telling me you had a bone to pick with me. Now my bone won’t work again thanks to super strength over here.” Candy rolled her eyes but gave me a look that said she hadn’t told him anything about what Trisha accused.

  “I got a little sick in the meet and greet room and was scared to tell you guys because it’s embarrassing so Candy overreacted so that only you would know.”

  I felt like shit for lying but I was not doing this tonight, not when he was about to play Seattle. I would confront this head on tomorrow but tonight I was business as usual. I felt even shittier when Noah went from irritated to concern.

  “Sick? What happened?”

  “Nerves, I guess. I’m so excited for you guys and worried at the same time.” I shrug and force my voice to stay even.

  “Well don’t worry about the puke sissy. I’ll tell Ben on my way out to get a cleaner in there and I’ll blame it on a fan.” He kissed the top of my forehead and then went to Candy, his demeanor changed entirely. Now he was prowling, and I immediately looked away. “You on the other hand will be kissing my blue balls better tonight.”

  He didn’t wait for her reply when he unlocked the door and left like he hadn’t grossed me out completely with his demand.

  “Little does he know I don’t mind sucking his nuts.” Candy stated without a hint of shame or embarrassment. “That’s beside the point though. What the hell are you doing keeping quiet for?”

  “Because Noah will lose his shit either way. If Trisha is lying, he will make it a point to humiliate her and if she’s telling the truth it’s bound to get seriously ugly between us. I want tonight for Noah and the guys, even Chad. They deserve this show Candy and I am not gonna cost them even a moments discomfort.”

  “And if you find out that Chad did sleep with her? You think it won’t eat at you all night until you know for sure?” She had a point, I knew this was going to drive me crazy all night, but I owed Noah more than t
hat, let alone if Trisha was lying, I definitely owed Chad more than that.

  “It’s not just them I need to think about here Candy. Chad and Noah aren’t a two-man band, this would affect Cal and Shame too. I don’t think Chad could focus as strong as he needs to if I went and confronted him with this now. I can wait the show out.”

  I could see her concern and it was warranted but I wasn’t budging on this. “I hope you’re not deferring this Carrie because of fear. Your day has been shitty all day and I get that but protect your heart right now.”

  “You think he did it don’t you?” I know her answer but I ask anyway.

  “I don’t think she would lie so elaborately by involving Noah or admitting that she did it on purpose to hurt Chad and not you.” Her eyes didn’t leave mine as she spoke, and I felt my tears well and threaten to fall. “I’m sorry Cares but yeah, I think she was telling the truth.”

  I cannot imagine my brother lying for him, protecting him. Just earlier he told me Chad needed the truth and to be let in. Why would he want me with someone who would betray me so bad? “I’ll talk about it with him later. I know you guys had plans with ball sucking, but I need to ask him after the show.”

  “Oh, honey there will be no sucking or fucking if I find out he covered for Chad.”

  “Candy don’t you let this come between you and Noah. You guys are finally in a good place, don’t let it get between you.”

  “Carrie if Noah knew about this and covered for Chad, it means he would have no issues doing the same to me. This will become a major character flaw one that I have issues with big time.”

  If I don’t leave now, I know the tears will come and then I will lose control. I look to Candy who looks just as thrown as I do and hook my arm through hers. “Well let’s go test our acting skills and pretend we are dying to be here.”

  “You got it babycakes.” She plants a loud puckered kiss against my cheek and squeezes me tightly as we walk toward the back of the stage and find Ben who plants us at the side of the stage with a few minutes to spare.

  By the time they take the stage, the stadium is in a roar of thunderous cheers, cell phone lights illuminating by the thousands in front of the stage. This was a stadium full of twenty thousand some odd fans all screaming right this second for Thick as Thieves to start the show.

  Chad looks to the side of the stage spotting me and he smiles, and I want to scream at him for making me doubt him. I smile back and blow him a kiss, one he catches, and I think I might hate him a little for even playing along. Before I ruin my plan and charge the stage kicking and screaming, I hear the baseline of my brother’s guitar and the moment passes.

  Chad drops his Rockstar mask in place and faces the crowd, radiating sex and promise to every single screaming fangirl. He says nothing but looks out over the crowd with a slight chuckle, throaty and smooth and the screams get louder. “Fuckin’ A Seattle! It’s damn good to finally be here!”

  The crowd erupts in a fit of cheers and the entire band jumps in behind Noah and my tears fall without shame. No matter what happens after this show, they made it. They made it and there was no turning back now. The fans were screaming and begging for more, more of TAT and more of Chad. I was glad I got to witness the beginning of their success, but it was all bittersweet.

  A beginning for them.

  An ending for us.

  I guess I answered my own question.

  Yes, I believed Trisha.

  God Dammit!

  Chapter Twenty

  Carrie

  Lights were blaring from overhead and it was insane inside the venue. They guys had seven songs and were just finishing their first. By the look of the crowd and the excitement it was obvious there was no way TAT wasn’t meant to go big.

  I didn’t want to watch as the song ended, and Chad ran fingers through his hair causing wails of promises scream out from the crows. More than a few ‘I love you’s’ were shouted and Chad and the guys yelled their devotion back.

  “So, it’s good to be here let me tell ya.” Chad spoke to the crowd like he did everyone. His confidence was a gift the way his voice alone could hold the attention of twenty thousand people. “I need to introduce ourselves to you. This is home to us, anywhere in Washington we have the luck of being known, but for those of you who have never rocked with TAT, well… it’s nice to fuckin’ meet’cha!”

  The use of ‘fuck’ had everyone screaming again, it was unreal how easily the melted into his hand. “I’m Chad, I rock on vocals and rhythm guitar.” He plays a line on the guitar showing them what he was made of, and it was just a taste.

  Girls were screaming how sexy he was, how they wanted him, and he smiled and crouched down at the front of the stage. One woman particularly interested in his closeness tried to grab him when he tsk’ed her. “Uh,Uh,Uh. No touching beautiful.”

  You could hear her voice through his closeness as it carried over his microphone. “Then touch me!” She begged and the roar of the crowd became hoots and hollers.

  “Sorry, these hands are for one girl only.” He looked to me and gave a wink, his face growing hard when he saw the scowl on my face. He seemed confused but didn’t let the crowd know that.

  He stood and turned to Cal who was to his right, Noah on his left and Shamus on a stage all his own in the back, lights in white and blue shining down on him. “How about we play you some sex instead?”

  Before the crowd could cheer the drums started pounding out a fast-heavy rhythm as Shamus lead the guys into a pretty graphic sex song. Candy was beside me singing along line after line and I didn’t even know the name of the song.

  I watched Chad and how he handled himself. He would take the words in the song, twist them and look out over the crowd with a talent to make you think the song was written for you, his need to get you beneath him. There was no question if he knew how to work them and own them. He bent them to his every whim, had them screaming for more and they were two songs in.

  The next song was slow like a moving storm that creeps in and robs you of everything you had only moments before. I wasn’t prepared for what was about to happen on that stage in front of thousands. It was right then in that moment that I learned Chad had secrets of his own. Secrets that were easily cementing the fact I was falling for Trisha’s shit.

  His voice was smooth as expensive whiskey, his eyes dropping on every fangirl in the front of the stage. This song was slow, deep in the rhythm and I knew before there were any words, that the song would gut me and leave me broken.

  You want me to show you

  What you look like through my eyes

  I can make you see it

  But I don’t think you'll survive

  This vision that you ask for

  It’s nothing new to me

  I get inside where you can’t hide

  And show you what I see

  Moan my name

  But you won’t tame

  The man I'm meant to be

  I ride you just the way you ask

  Until I’ll hear you scream

  His words were sung so perfect, so on pitch and meant to break a woman down in heartache. This was the Chad that I knew long before we dated. This guy singing was the man I thought I had tamed, thought loved me… then I saw her. Trisha took a microphone and the stage alongside Chad. Her voice like the perfect counterpart to him she joined in and her words were gutting me.

  Say my name and I’ll say yours

  First things first, don’t walk out the door

  Get lost in me with your deepest stare

  Take my body baby and handle with care.

  It was like a song intended for me to learn my lesson and crushed I couldn’t look away from the former lovers and their tragic tale on stage. Chad was looking out at the crowd, but his words were intended for me even if he didn’t think they were. I was the Trisha in this song, the fool who hopelessly loved a man who would never see the pain he caused.

  You ask for things that I can’t give


  You’ve seen my moves and how I live

  Handle with care is not my style.

  What is, is making you scream my name for a while.

  But when I’m done and out your door,

  You will see I was never meant for more

  I live this way and keep it real

  I don’t know your name or how you feel

  And leave you guessing if I was real.

  Cal is in the middle of them now and the fans are going crazy. Trisha is taking the song to a whole new level as she storms toward Noah and leans beside him as he follows his bass perfect. Chad looks back over the crowd, the song slower and just carried by his rhythm guitar now the bridge having come to an end.

  A warm body beside me to keep me warm

  I’m a hurricane, a tornado, and a mighty storm

  It’s over now don’t be so blue.

  I’ll do the same thing to the next girl too.

  The crowd went crazy as the band came back in and Chad focused all his attention on his guitar refusing to look at Trisha as she finished her part of the song.

  You broke my heart, it’s all I know

  Doubts now my truth and all I know

  Don’t hold my hand and whisper me lies

  Because lies are still lying when you open your eyes

  Forget my name there’s nothing to say

  All between us was only a game

  Kiss me goodbye with your sad smile

  Our memories will repeat for a long while

  His hands were on his guitar stroking the strings with the same enthusiasm he carried through the song. He was intense and strong and so fucking talented. His voice echoed as deep as his words and I knew the truth behind them. Visions of him inside of me earlier, begging me never to leave him flashing like lightening in my mind. I could hear his pained voice, telling me I was his, to license his roving hands. I wanted to be sick. I felt like a fool and now when I looked at him, I saw how easily he played me, just as easily as he is playing the crowd before him with her at his side. This song is the Chad Blake I never met.