Hard Truths (Kiss Her Goodbye Book 1)

by Rebecca Royce

  That was such a huge shame. It made my heart clench. Hate within family was completely unacceptable. People’s families could be such a beautiful mix of stories, customs, and traditions. It was interesting what was important to some people and not others. “All right then. Two Ws. That is pretty cool. It does sound distinguished.”

  “Liar. It’s ridiculous. The kids used to just say it over and over to be shitty when I was in boarding school.”

  I rolled my eyes. “Kids can be cruel. You can imagine what they said to me because my mother ran off.”

  Of course, now that I knew my father had actually killed her made it even worse. He knew perfectly well where she had gone. I shuddered. The longer I sat with this the worse it got. I rubbed my eyes.

  He touched my shoulder. “Head hurting?”

  “No, I’m just thinking about my mom. I’ve hated her for years, thinking she abandoned me. She did run off, but maybe she wouldn’t have left me. Maybe she would have just been done with him. I’m having trouble with this. He killed her. Maybe you don’t get it. You live in a different world than me.”

  Warden squeezed where he’d touched. “I’ve lived in the darkness a long time. I’m more comfortable in it if you want to know the truth. In that place, the existence where mothers get killed for cheating, where people die for no reason other than they’re positioned wrong on the chessboard of life. It surprises me when people don’t live that way. How did you go so long without knowing life sucks?”

  How indeed? I leaned my head back against the seat. “I keep forgetting you’re my captor. I keep thinking you’re my friend.”

  “I think the same thing until I remember I don’t have friends.”

  Now that caught my attention. “Surely your fellow Letters are your friends. You’re trying to take over the world together.”

  “We’re not friends. They don’t have friends either. We’re in this together, but we’re not pals. None of us are going to go get a beer together or remember each other’s birthdays.”

  I shook my head. “I get it. I don’t have too many friends. Two girlfriends that I really like. I’ve always thought less was more. Face it, Warden, they’re your friends. Kidnap a girl together and it really bonds you for life.”

  He twisted his lips but ended up in a smile. “All right, Brat. They’re my friends. And I forget you’re my prisoner, too. Then we have to talk to the cashier and I remember.”

  I could tell him that I had no plans to get away. But I’d already told him, and I decided I was in no mood to repeat myself. He could believe me or not. I stared out the window. It really was a lovely day.

  Warden was not a natural fisherman. I ended up dragging a couple of chairs down to the pond. I hadn’t yet seen an alligator. Maybe we were, for the moment, lucky. I handed him a beer. “Sit. Fishing isn’t going to be the easiest thing you’ve ever done.”

  He pointed at the chair. “You’re concussed. You shouldn’t be dragging chairs. Even if you feel better.”

  I sat in the chair. “I’m sure you’re right. I did it anyway.”

  He took a sip of the beer I’d brought him. “Feel okay?”

  “Yes.” I grinned at him. “But thanks for worrying about it.”

  We sat like that, not catching anything in his pond. I didn’t even know if there were actually fish. I could have asked him that but it might have spoiled the moment. We’d go with the idea that there were fish and leave it at that. Eventually, he hooked a fish. It was a tiny thing, and I made him throw it back.

  Still, it put a big smile on the day.

  We cooked dinner together, and then he read to me from one of the books he’d picked up. It was a murder mystery. I kind of thought I knew who’d done it but that wasn’t the point. In the end, I crawled into my bed, listening to the sounds the house made.

  I’d been stoned the night before and conked out on the couch. Tonight, I could hear the wind blow and see the flashes of lightning in the distance as they lit up the room. I sighed. I never liked sleeping in new places. I wasn’t even going to think about how scratchy the sheets were. What was with people not paying attention to how soft their bedding was? I felt like the Princess and the Pea.

  The door opened slowly and Warden poked his head in. “Thinking I could come in and protect you from any alligators that might come in the middle of the night.”

  I rolled closer to the edge, letting him in. He lay down next to me, drawing me close to him. “You know, Warden, you’re the worst kidnapper ever.”

  “I know.” He pressed his nose against the back of my neck. “But you are a terrible victim.”

  “That’s right, honey bear, I am.”

  He laughed. “I’m going to show you sometime how I actually live. Not this place. You’d love it.”

  I kind of liked this place a whole lot. I didn’t have to think too hard about anything that might make my head go sideways. I could just be here with W and not stop to contemplate why that was so okay. Or if it had to do with the fact that the life I’d been living had been an utter lie. What was I going to return to?

  Every day the truth of my existence became clearer and clearer to me.

  Still, I had to point out to Warden what he said was probably not going to happen. “We won’t know each other long enough for me to see where you live. You’ll let me go—unless you feed me to the gators—and I’ll never see you again because you’ll be busy secretly running the world. I’ll be some kind of ant marching, to steal from Kade.”

  He was silent, and I wondered if he’d fallen asleep. “I suppose you’re right, and I don’t like it. Guess I’m just going to have to make do with having you here now.”

  Warden had told me he wouldn’t make any moves to have sex with me for three days, and he seemed determined to live up to that. We lay there in the dark, holding each other, but not doing anything else. He fell asleep first, his nose still on the back of my neck. Each breath he took was like a small tickle, but it didn’t bother me. I liked having him there. Like the night before, he sort of snored. It wasn’t an outright, obnoxious sound, but he was definitely not a quiet sleeper. It made me grin. It was what Warden sounded like when he was asleep.

  Eventually, I fell asleep, too.

  I didn’t have any weird dreams about dying.

  In fact, I woke up feeling really well rested. Warden moved next to me, which was what finally roused me from dreamland. I shifted slightly, and he pulled me against his chest. “Morning, Brat.”

  I grinned. “Morning, Warden White.”

  The days were long and sometimes quiet, although it wasn’t for lack of conversation. Warden turned out to know a lot of stuff. Random things were quick for him to recall. He could easily tell me without blinking what year a country gained independence or what the price of milk was in 2001.

  He listened to me lament about when I’d had to take economics and how much I’d hated the class. He’d told me that he couldn’t have imagined taking the social work classes I’d undertaken and loved. With my hoodie on, we went to dinner an hour away at a restaurant on the side of the road. I’d never have imagined they had such good pie.

  What was funny was that Warden hadn’t known either. We were both fish out of water in this situation, but he was maybe having more of an issue adjusting than me. I wasn’t sure he’d ever spent any time in the country before.

  On the third day, the mood shifted. I woke up in my pajamas that I’d managed to wash the day before in the slowest washer-dryer known to man. Still, it had eventually gotten the job done. Warden stretched next to me. He was clearly hard and not trying to hide it. I’d sort of thought he was the day before, but he’d jumped up quickly, and I’d not had a time to confirm my suspicion. Today, I was sure of it.

  He nuzzled my shoulder. “You smell incredible.”

  “I can’t possibly smell incredible in the morning.” I laughed. Although he did. If it was possible, I might have been getting addicted to the pure male scent that was Warden.

  “Yo
u do.” He planted a small kiss. “I am going to give you so much pleasure tonight, Everly.”

  I looked over at him before I ran a finger down the slope of his nose. It was just slightly misshapen. And sexy as hell. “Are you busy right now? Big plans?”

  He shook his head. “Tonight. Anticipation is good for the soul. Let’s enjoy the knowing it’s coming.”

  I groaned. “If you say so.”

  Rain struck the roof hard. Looked like we were going to be staying inside today. It was going to be a long, long day. But he was right. I was going to be thinking about it all day.

  He spent the day touching me. If I was at the sink, he ran his hand up my arm. If I was sitting on the couch reading, he’d brush the back of my neck gently as he passed. It was day five. The magic number the doctor had given me to return to normal activity had been reached.

  Warden still claimed it was the pot. I just thought it was that I had a hard head and time to heal. In any case, I felt better. He sat down next to me on the couch, kissing my shoulder. I shuddered. Warden had been right. There really was nothing like the anticipation of knowing he wanted me, and he was going to show me he did all day long.

  He cooked dinner. Warden lied when he told me he couldn’t cook. He actually could. W made a great steak. He grabbed the plates before I could clear them and kissed my cheek on his way to the sink. “I could have done that.”

  Warden shook his head. “I got it.”

  I leaned back in my chair, watching him clean up after he’d cooked. “You know you’re going to have sex tonight. I’m a sure thing.”

  He looked over at me. “That’s not why I’m doing the dishes. I’m doing the dishes because it’s my turn.”

  Was it? “I wasn’t keeping track.”

  “I don’t do dishes in real life.” He shrugged. “This week has felt like a step away.”

  That was a good way to put it. And we had one week left like this. “I only have the ugly pajamas.”

  “I’m going to be getting you out of your clothes. I don’t care what you have on when I do so. You’d be sexy in a brown paper bag. The point is that it’s you.”

  I leaned my forehead on his arm. Touching Warden was easy and that was because of him. He’d done this, he’d made it easy between us. “You say the sweetest things.”

  “I don’t. I only speak the truth. I’m an asshole.” He nodded toward the porch. “Go stand there and wait for me a minute. I want to look at the stars with you.”

  I almost made a joke. It was easy for me to be flippant. I went through life keeping things meaningless. Then I remembered that this was Warden, who took away people’s money to control them because the circumstances of his birth arranged that for him, and maybe it meant something to him to look at the stars. Maybe it could mean something to me too if I let myself stop being cynical.

  I stepped onto the porch. It had stopped raining while we ate. The air had that post rain humidity feel to it, but the temperature had dropped considerably. It might even have been called a chilly night for wherever we were in Florida. I still didn’t know, but that was cognitive dissonance. I could have found out any time I wanted. I just didn’t want to.

  The sky was clear and there were a million stars above my head. I watched them as the slight cloud cover blowing above me seemed to make the stars dance. A few minutes later, Warden joined me. His arms came around me, and I leaned against his chest.

  “I look up so rarely.”

  He kissed the top of my head. “Well, the good news is that you’re young and you have plenty of time to look up for the rest of your life.”

  “You make it seem like you’re so old. I promise you, you’re still young and hot.”

  He squeezed me tighter. “I think I was born old.”

  I didn’t have anything to say to that so I didn’t. Who was I to tell him if he’d felt that way since birth? A few more minutes passed when he tugged on me. “Come in. If you want to.”

  I turned in his arms before I kissed his chin. “I want to.”

  Warden took my hand and drew me inside. I followed him gladly. The lights were off in the house, and as we walked into the bedroom together, low flickering lights caught my attention. He’d lit candles and they glowed like the stars outside had.

  I gasped. “Warden, you lit candles.”

  “I did.” He stood in the doorway of the bedroom. “They’re technically in case the solar panels don’t draw enough power to light up the night. But let’s hope that doesn’t happen. I’m using them tonight.”

  I pressed my hands on his hard chest. “You have a romantic soul.”

  “I never did. But like I said… this week is just a step away.”

  I liked that answer. Accepting that I loved this didn’t mean I had to give up being my cynical about sex self. I could just take it for what it was and know that life would go back to normal soon enough. I reached up to kiss him, and he drew me closer. Warden gently caressed my lips with his own. He didn’t stop there, kissing all over my face. I held on and let him, returning the kisses where I could reach.

  Warden laid me on the bed. He came over me, but seemed like he was in no hurry. His hand was in my hair, and he kissed and kissed me until dizziness wafted over me. He was hard, there was no disguising it, and yet his hands stayed right where they were as though we were teenagers not taking this any further instead of what we’d planned for tonight.

  I wrapped my arms around his neck, and he stopped kissing me to stare down. “You are the most beautiful woman I’ve ever seen.”

  He adored me with his gaze, and shivers of pleasure danced up my spine at his words as heat pooled in my core. “I can’t believe that is true, and yet right in this moment I believe you.”

  “I’ll prove it beyond tonight. You’re not lacking confidence. Don’t sell yourself short. You’re gorgeous.”

  Maybe he saw me that way. I hoped it was the least interesting part of me. “Kiss me, Warden.”

  He took directions really well. He kissed me, starting with my lips and moving down to kiss my neck. I shuddered. I didn’t know that I’d ever been kissed so long in my life.

  Warden started to undress me slowly. He tugged my shirt over my head and then followed with his own. Goosebumps broke out on my skin. Not from a chill, from anticipation alone. He thumbed my bra. “I could look at you all day.”

  The strangest thing was I was pretty sure I could let him without a moment of hesitation. “You’ve been looking at me day in and day out. If you’re not sick of it now…”

  Warden gave me a side smile. “Not sick of it.”

  He was built like he’d been carved out of stone. I ran my hands over him, touching the dark dusting of hair on his bare skin. He let me trace his muscles even as his body jumped under my touch.

  “You aren’t the only one who could look all day.”

  Warden tilted his head to the side. “It might kill me, but I’d let you.”

  He undid my bra and discarded it. He stroked my breasts, starting with the nipples. Gently, he touched them until they pebbled in his fingertips.

  His sweetness undid me. “I won’t break.”

  “I might.” He kissed my neck again before he replaced his fingertips with his mouth, cupping my other breast while he sucked on the nipple of the other one. I bit my lip as I cried out. My body burned for wanting him, but I wouldn’t have hurried this for anything in the world. We’d never have a first time together again, and we both knew this was temporary. I was going to love every second of it.

  Chapter 14

  We undressed each other the rest of the way in silence. There was something sacred about the way we were quiet, as though someone might overhear us if we made sound. His cock was huge. Stretched out before me, it made my mouth water.

  I would have reached for him, but he whispered in my ear. “Lie back.”

  I did without question. This whole experience had so far been different than I’d thought it was going to be. He rubbed his fingers over my temples.
It took me a minute to realize he was giving me a massage. “You have an incredible mind. No more getting it jostled. Hear me?”

  I nodded. His hands were doing incredible things. He rolled them down, tracing over my skin, as though he memorized my body as he went. Warden stopped over my thighs, rubbing me there and then on the other side. He massaged me there, loosening my muscles until I panted. Warden rolled me over slightly, rubbing my lower back. It was like he instinctively knew all my spots, just where I wanted to be rubbed.

  By the time he finished rubbing me, I was panting. I was putty in his hands.

  He opened a drawer next to the bed and pulled out a condom. As I watched, almost transfixed, he rolled it onto himself.

  “I haven’t done anything for you yet.” Sex was a back and forth. It wasn’t me demanding attention and giving him none.

  “Are you kidding?” He motioned toward his cock. “You get me any harder, and I might explode. I just got to touch you almost all the places I fantasized about. That’s doing something for me.”

  I leaned back on my elbows. “Next time I want to take you in my mouth.”

  “Sounds like a plan.” He whispered against my mouth before he kissed me hard. Warden slipped a finger inside of me. He found my clit and started to rub slowly in circles. I clenched around his hand. Yes, he’d worked out the rhythm I liked fast. “Yes, just like that.”

  “I’ve got you. I know how you want it. I can feel you, I can read you, Everly.”

  He really could. I lost track of time, the surges of pleasure overtaking me so that soon I had to bite my lip to keep from screaming. He kissed the top of my knee, the inside of my thigh. “Don’t hold it back. Give me your noises.”

  I cried out. I didn’t know that I could have stopped it if I wanted to. “Warden.” I had to say his name again and again. He hissed in a long breath before he bit down on my lip.