Hard Truths (Kiss Her Goodbye Book 1)

by Rebecca Royce

  “You know how hearing my name on your lips undoes me.”

  He moved then, and I spread my legs because I knew what was going to happen and I craved it beyond anything else. Warden pressed inside of me, inching deep toward my core with slow movements. I squirmed. I wanted all of him, fast, but he tormented me with his determination to make all of this last. I wasn’t going to ever complain.

  “Fuck. You’re so tight.” He flared his nostrils. “I am going to make this good for you, I swear it.”

  He already had. I squeezed him tight inside of me. “Warden. Please.”

  He nodded once. W pulled out and pushed back in all the way, a deep press that had me panting for more. I expected him to repeat the movement, but he didn’t. The next time he moved it was a shallow drive that rubbed my clit completely in the thrust. I cried out. Over and over he stimulated me, never doing the same thrust twice in a row. I couldn’t think, couldn’t keep up, couldn’t anticipate.

  He’d promised to pleasure me and this was what he was doing. Varying the experience made it seem to last forever, and oh I would have been fine with existing like this always. Finally, when I couldn’t handle anymore, couldn’t think, couldn’t breathe, I exploded around him. I dug my fingers into his shoulders, and he whispered my name as he came.

  I’d never heard Everly spoken in a way that made it sound like a prayer before.

  Minutes later, Warden linked our fingers together. We both lay on our backs, neither of us speaking. I wasn’t sure there was anything to say. That had been… yeah… incredible. He tugged on me until I lay against his side.

  Yawning, I pressed my head down on him. I could hear his heart beat. He’d wrecked me in the best possible way. He stroked his hand up and down my back.

  “Maybe tomorrow we can go by that grocery store again and get something to barbecue for dinner.”

  I loved that idea. “Chicken. Sausage.”

  “Sounds good.” He kissed my forehead. “Everly, that was…”

  I nodded. “I know. It was.”

  “Good.”

  We weren’t making a whole lot of coherent sense but that was okay. We didn’t need to. Not really.

  I wandered through the store looking at the nightgowns. Warden said it didn’t matter what I had on, but wearing the same thing night after night and then just washing it every other day was getting on my nerves. I’d like to be able to change nightly. That didn’t mean, however, that I wanted to wear something I’d imagine my grandmother in.

  There had to be something else. Like a long t-shirt that would do.

  “Glad to see you here again.” The woman who had been the cashier the other day when we’d come in spoke to me. She leaned against the wall by a water fountain that had an out-of-order sign on it. She was once again snapping her gum.

  I looked up at her. I had my hoodie back on. It would do well to find another one of those, too, so I could return this one to W. He whirled around as the woman spoke to me from where he was looking at baseball hats.

  I caught his gaze even as I turned to gum girl. “Hello.” I smiled at her. “How are you today?”

  “I’m good.” She shrugged. “Men came in here asking about the two of you.”

  Well, now she had my full attention. “Did they? For me?”

  She pointed at W. “For both of you. They had pictures. It was funny. It was of the two of you outside in the parking lot. It was one of them satellite photos. I think. Like something you’d see that looked like it was right off the internet.”

  Warden was suddenly by my side. He put his hand on my back. “What were they asking?”

  “If I’d seen you. They asked my boss, too. But he hadn’t because he didn’t come out that day.”

  I set down the t-shirt I’d been holding. “What did you tell them?”

  “That you’d been here but you’d left.” She shrugged. “What else could I tell them? I don’t know nothin.”

  No, she hadn’t. But now she’d know we’d come back. Plus, if they’d gotten us on satellite once, they would again right where we’d parked. Warden didn’t flinch. He just nodded. “What did the men look like?”

  “They wore suits. Not from around here but neither are you two. That much is obvious.”

  “Right.” Warden turned and walked to the sporting goods aisle. What was he doing? My heart beat so fast I thought it might explode. I couldn’t be shot at again. Not ever. That was too much. I…

  Why was he grabbing a baseball helmet? He pointed at gum girl. “You. Come check us out. Now.”

  She was clearly on a break, but with W giving her a pointed look and a command to his voice, she jumped up and even pushed the current cashier out of the way to ring us up.

  “We’re going to take this. Do you have a car?”

  Her eyes widened. “Yes. Parked right there.” She pointed outside. I didn’t follow where, but Warden must have because he nodded. He pulled open his wallet, a white envelope folded in the middle of the bill holder.

  “There’s twenty-thousand dollars in cash in here.” He slammed it down. “Count it. It’s yours for your car right now.”

  The woman snorted. “Mister my car is not worth twenty thousand.”

  “Well then you just made the deal of the century. Take it now. Car. And baseball helmet.”

  He was carrying twenty grand in his wallet? Was he nuts? Of course, this had proven extremely useful, but who carried that kind of money just around with them? The woman looked stunned, her pupils were huge, but she took the cash and handed him her keys.

  Warden grabbed my hand and yanked me hard outside. Gone was my sweet lover who wanted nothing more than to give me pleasure, and in his place this focused, hard-gazed man stood. I had to say, given the circumstances, I liked the change.

  “Get in.”

  Gum chewer’s car smelled like old air freshener, and I quickly threw it out the window. If we somehow got arrested for this, they could add litterbug to the list of things I was to go to jail for.

  Warden put the car in drive almost as soon as I’d shut the door. “Buckle your seatbelt and put on your helmet.”

  He handed me the new batting helmet he’d just purchased along with the dirty car. “Why am I putting this on? I don’t think it’ll stop bullets.”

  “No, obviously not. But it will help if we get rammed off the road. It might stop another concussion. You just had one. Put it on.”

  I supposed that made sense. I took the helmet out of the packaging and shoved it on. It was a little snug, but I wasn’t going to complain. “Why were you carrying that kind of money?”

  “For just this kind of scenario.”

  I pointed behind me. “You’re going the wrong way. The house is behind us.”

  “We’re not going back there. Let’s assume they’ve found it on satellite by now. And fuck, I can’t imagine the algorithm they’re running that they found us so fast. This is out of hand. No more waiting on your dad. I’m going to show those fuckers what happens when they mess with me.”

  I sucked in a breath. “Where are we going?”

  “San Diego. Well, I’m going to San Diego. I’m taking you to New Orleans. That’s where I’d lay money Kade went. We have to let go of the two week plan. Guess tonight is where you and I part ways, Brat.”

  I swallowed through the pain those words caused me. Like with Trace, I’d known this was temporary, but knowing it, and feeling nothing when they moved on like we’d been nothing together were two different things. If that made me pathetic, then so be it.

  If anything, spending time with these crazy assholes was opening me up from the outside in. I didn’t know if it was a good thing or bad. But it was happening, and I was powerless to stop it. I looked out the window.

  “Guess it is.” I patted him on the arm. “Been fun knowing you, Warden White.”

  “What happened to honey bear?”

  I scooted down in the seat, finally deciding I wasn’t going to get comfortable thanks to a hole with somethin
g poking out of it that dug into my lower back. Oh well, beggars couldn’t be choosers. Not even for twenty thousand dollars.

  “Not in a honey bear mood, I suppose. Do you think they’re after us?”

  “Yes.”

  That did not fill me with a great deal of confidence but I didn’t suppose he’d meant it to. This was reality, this was actually happening. A street sign caught my eye, and I read it as went by. It pointed to the Seminole County Correctional Facility five miles away. Well, now at least I knew where I was, sort of. I’d have to look it up when I had use of a computer or tablet again. Vermont. St. Croix. Seminole County, Florida. Now I was practically going to be back home if we were headed to New Orleans.

  I was supposed to be studying for finals and drinking cheap alcohol while I obsessed over graduate school.

  “What are you going to do?”

  “I’m going to pick apart the finances of all six of those bastards, starting with Nathan Barton.” A muscle clenched in his jaw. “We thought we could handle this the way it’s supposed to be handled in The Alliance. First we had to prove we really were Alliance, that’s your dad. Then we’d fucking take them on the way it’s done. I should have spoken up when the shooting happened, but I got focused on having alone time with you. So yeah, time to stop thinking with my dick and get back to real life.”

  Any good feelings I had left plummeted. Thank goodness I’d gotten so good at holding back how I felt. I would not fall apart in the car with him. “So this is my fault, W? I’ll point out that I didn’t ask to be kidnapped and no one forced you to fuck me.”

  He winced. I didn’t care. It was awkward with my stupid helmet on, but I looked away from him. I was done talking. Fully and completely done.

  Three hours later, I’d almost convinced myself we were going to be okay. He’d drop me wherever with Kade and move on. I couldn’t wait to get out of the car with him and even if it took six hours from now at least it was fucking coming.

  Or maybe not. Maybe I’d finally get my head on straight and get out away from them.

  “Your seatbelt is on, right?” It was the first time he’d spoken to me since he’d pronounced that I’d made him lose sense of things.

  I looked down. “As it’s been this whole time.”

  “We’re being followed. I’m pretty sure we’ve been made.”

  I swallowed slowly. “How do you know?”

  “I know.” That told me nothing, but I wasn’t going to push. “I’m getting off here. We’re going to find a place to hide you, and I’m going to continue on my own. I realize this is stupid. You could very easily just leave. But I’m going to point out that your face is now on the radar of some people who will take you to hurt us. The best thing you can do is stay with us until your father clears our name. He won’t be able to protect you. He’s not high enough up in The Alliance. You’ll hate The Alliance having you more than you even hate me right now.”

  I glared at him. “You could be lying. You guys could have been lying about everything.” I knew that wasn’t true. My father had confirmed most of it. But I was scared. Sick of feeling like I didn’t have control of my feelings and pissed as hell.

  “I could be, but I’m not.” He shook his head. “I’m going to save your life not your feelings right now.”

  “Why bother? I’m just another ant.”

  He didn’t answer me, but took the next exit at too high a speed. I grabbed onto the side of the car so hard that my knuckles turned white. I gulped. We were going to be okay. I wasn’t dying like this. I had too much to do in life. I couldn’t come up with anything right then but so help me I would.

  W nodded to the left. “There’s a shopping mall. It’s busy. See the cars? It’s Saturday. It’ll be open late. I’m going to drop you there. Get lost in it.”

  “And then?” I hated the sound of desperation in my voice. “I can’t stay there endlessly. It’ll be open late, but I can’t live there.”

  Warden nodded slowly. “Someone will come for you. I promise.”

  “When?” He’d already sped into the parking lot and was making his way to the door with the sign food court over it.

  “I don’t know. Soon. Trust me.”

  That was the problem. Last night I’d let him inside of my body, I’d trusted him. I really had. I’d forgotten how dire things were, how I was in the middle of a mess I hadn’t had a hand in making but now had to exist within. Was it his cruel words? Maybe. I didn’t know, but I wondered as he skid to a stop, the tires screeching, if I was about to walk into a situation where I was either going to get killed or left with nowhere to go and no one to help me.

  “Out. Everly, now. Get lost in there. Here.” He pulled a wad of cash out of his pocket. I grabbed it. How much did he carry on him at a time? He’d just handed gum chewer twenty grand for her piece of shit car. Now I had… two thousand in my hand? “Don’t leave. Someone will come.”

  I got out of the car. I had a million questions. I was in the middle of a place I’d never been, in a shopping mall where I knew no one, with no identification, no cell phone, and only the word of a man who had seemed to care for me one second and not give two shits with the same breath. I turned and ran. I was all the way past the cell phone kiosk before I let myself breathe.

  He’d wanted to protect me. In the midst of hell, he’d thought about my concussion. Fuck. I still wore the helmet. It was getting a lot of attention. I pulled it off my head and ran a self-conscious hand through my hair.

  I gripped the money like it was my lifeline, and if I wasn’t careful I was going to get mugged for it. I shoved it in my pocket. Okay. I maybe looked less… crazed. I knew how to be in public. I was dressed okay. There was nothing about me that should scream lunatic.

  I needed some water. I set about to get some.

  Four hours later, I’d eaten in the food court and pretended to be interested in every store in the mall. I sat down on a bench. This was ridiculous. I needed help. I was going to call my father. Surely, he would come get me or tell me where to go. He and I could work out this shit. Or I could go back to pretending all was okay. Eventually, The Alliance would lose interest in a nobody like me, and I could go back to my life. I’d never tell a soul.

  I’d forget about Warden’s soft gaze, which seemed more real in him than his cruel tongue. I’d let go of the way Trace had held me, how he had grinned, the way the breeze had moved through us, and the feeling that he had things to say he never got to. I’d somehow never think of Derrick’s intensity and wounded soul, even when I saw him on television flashing his smile and his man bun. I’d never question who Judson actually was, what he meant when he talked about having particular tastes in the bedroom, and how he reconciled being a doctor with being Alliance. I would know I never got to unmask Kade, the most reserved of all of them. I’d know nothing about him except that he was handsome as hell and he was determined to take over The Alliance.

  I’d forget. I’d make myself without counseling because knowing The Alliance, if they heard I was talking to someone about them, I’d be a dead woman. I rubbed my eyes. I needed a phone. Were there pay phones or did I need to spend some of this two thousand dollars on a burner phone at the kiosk and call my dad?

  Someone plopped down next to me. I didn’t look up.

  “Everly.”

  I knew that voice. I raised my head. “D?”

  “In the flesh.” He ran a hand down my back. “You okay?”

  “How are you here?” I was bone tired. Everything hurt like I’d been beat up again.

  He shifted slightly. Derrick wore sweatpants and a ratty white t-shirt. His man bun was hidden in his skull cap, and he looked like he hadn’t shaved in forty eight hours or so. I’d never seen him this much of a mess, not even when he shot the lake in Vermont. This had to be deliberate so he could sit here in a place like this and not be noticed. Well, maybe not the shaving. That would have taken days.

  “Warden managed to lose his tail. He stopped at a convenience store, grabbed
a phone he could chuck, and called me. Told me to get my ass here and save you.” He stopped his hand on the back of my neck, rubbing gently. “Sorry it took a little bit. I was in Miami. I got a plane. Took half an hour to charter. Anyway, I’m here. I told you I would always be there. I meant it.”

  I swallowed away my tears. “I had just made the decision to call my father. I had just decided to throw down my cards and see what happened. I should have run away, not sat here like a lamb waiting to be sacrificed.”

  “No.” He leaned over to kiss me on my temple. I shivered from the warmth the gesture caused to the ice forming inside of me. “You did the right thing. We’re not heroes or good guys. We’ve done bad things, and you’ve been hurt in the process. But believe it or not, we’re your best option now. We can’t go back in time and leave you alone so now you have to let us make it right, however that happens. Besides, I told you I’d always find you. You’re mine. Even when you’re also theirs. Trace. Now Warden. Makes me wonder some things. But we’ll see. Neither you nor them would believe me. You all think I’m crazy anyway. Come on.”

  He took my hand, and I let him. “You know that’s exactly what a person trying to convince me to stay in victimhood would say.”

  “You’re no one’s victim. You may be the most powerful person I know right now. And you’re certainly not a sacrificial lamb. Abraham isn’t showing up any second with a knife. Come on. Let’s get out of here. Unless you’re hungry. Want to eat?”

  I shook my head. “You’re wrong, you know. I’m not Trace’s, Warden’s, or yours. I don’t belong to any of you.”

  He put his arm around my shoulder. “We’ll see. I’m Alliance, baby. I see things before they happen. Don’t be fooled into thinking I’m not as smart as they are. We all survived training.” The word brought to mind the image of both Warden and Trace’s backs. I had to assume Derrick had the same marks. “Baseball is a mental game. And I also kick ass at chess. I promise you. I’m not dumb.”

  I never thought he was. “How did you explain your beat up back in the locker room?”

  He winced. “So you’ve seen the scars on Trace and Warden. Yeah, didn’t think of that. Car accident.”