Chronicles of a Royal Pet- Of Scales and Distant Shores

by Ian Rodgers

  “What? Why would they do that?” I gasped.

  “Don’t know,” Katherine said with a shrug. “But tensions between those dragon-worshipping lizards and the colonists have been getting worse in the past couple of years. Humans encroaching on their land and suchlike. Causing the lizards to strike back. But this is the first time they dared to openly attack a settlement, and not just raid or skirmish with local defenders.”

  I folded my arms, and made my ‘face’ frown in worry. “That’s not going to be good. This could start a war!”

  “Yeah, I know,” Katherine said bitterly. “And if something like open conflict does start, then I don’t think the Soul Oozes will be able to stay out of it. Legally, they’d be obliged to help the colonial government, but the Soul Oozes don’t really like or trust people, or humans at least, and would probably be more likely to help the lizardfolk because of that fact. Not sure which would be better for us.”

  “For now, we should focus on getting to the village, giving them the deed, and making sure they know what’s coming so they can defend themselves if need be,” I decided after a moment to think it all over. “We can deal with anything else that crops up later, or when it happens.”

  “I agree, getting to Valen and the others is the most important thing to do right now,” the dwarf maiden agreed. She then shot me a look of expectation. “Did you grab everything we need?”

  “Most of it. All the essentials, at least. The riot-that-could-have-been put a damper on my mood and I retreated here before I could purchase the last of the camping supplies,” I revealed.

  “Alright, we’ll buy the rest before heading out tomorrow. I want to be on the road before noon. Any problems with that?”

  I shook my head, and Katherine nodded happily. “Great! Let’s order some dinner for the kitchens, I’m starving!”

  I chuckled, but did as she asked, and ordered the three of us a nice hot meal. We ate in our room, not in the mood to venture out into Pollastra. The harborside town was still bubbling with resentment, and I was not in a hurry to experience those emotions again.

  .

  “So, why’d you call me?” A tall man, easily topping seven feet, sauntered into the headmaster’s office before nonchalantly slipping into a chair in front of the paper strewn desk. He looked to be in his mid-thirties, but was dressed messily, with a slapdash assortment of clothes just thrown on. It honestly looked like he had just gotten out of bed, and made him look older than he appeared to be. With the mussy black hair and unkempt beard, that certainly seemed to be the most likely case. Given that it was way past noon, Arnolt wasn’t sure what he wanted the answer for this man’s appearance to be.

  “I wanted to ask you a favor,” Arnolt began, but was cut off by the guest raising a hand to his face.

  “No.”

  “But-”

  “No. I told you before I won’t be your glorified errand boy anymore.”

  Arnolt sighed, massaging his forehead. “It’s not for me. I want you to watch over one of the prophesied children until they are able to fend for themselves.”

  “You want me to be a babysitter? Really?” the messy man demanded incredulously.

  “I just want him to be safe. You know that the World Rebellion is on the move! And they’ve already targeted him, we need someone to be at his side to make sure they don’t harm him!”

  “Which one?” the man demanded after thinking about it for several long, painful minutes. “Which of the Chosen Ones is it?”

  “Jelly, the Royal Ooze,” Arnolt said with evident relief. “Or Jellik, as he goes by now.”

  The man snorted in amusement at the name before sobering up and narrowing his eyes at the Academy’s headmaster.

  “I will drop in on him and check to make sure he’s worth my time. If he is, I’ll make sure nothing overtly terrible happens to him. Coddling the slime will only make him weak. Might teach him a trick or two if it amuses me to do so. If he isn’t worthy of my attention, I will place a marker on him to make sure I can detect if those Void worshipping loons approach him, otherwise I will leave him to fend for himself.”

  “That’s all I can ask, Joris,” Arnolt said with a kind, grandfatherly expression. The man grimaced but nodded all the same.

  “For the sake of Erafore, I’ll do this. Not for you, but for the world she loved.” He stood, shooting a dark look at the X-ranked mage.

  “But don’t try and contact me again unless it is a real emergency.” He then vanished, teleporting away without even a trace of effort.

  Arnolt slumped in his seat and sighed wearily before getting up, desperately searching his room for a stiff drink. He knew he’d hidden a bottle of Dragonscar Brandy somewhere in there for just such an occasion!

  Chapter 7: The Wide-Open Emperor

  The next morning came, far too soon in Rosa’s opinion, and we settled the bill with the Wood Duck Inn before heading out. The sun had just risen, and the dawn made everything look unpleasantly drenched in red. Not exactly an image I wanted after finding out the night before a war was brewing on the horizon.

  “I think this is the last of it,” Katherine said beside me, snapping me out of my thoughts.

  “Are you sure?” I asked, raising an ‘eyebrow’ on my ‘face.’ “Because you said that twice already.”

  “Well excuse me for trying to stock up on supplies so we don’t die in the wilderness,” Katherine replied dryly. “But yes, seriously, this is the last of it. Tindertwigs, soapstones, and a water boiling rod.”

  I took the sack she held out to me and casually slipped it into my Dimensional Pocket. She grinned, glad that someone other than her was carrying everything, and we made our way to the gates.

  “Where are you headed?” one of the guards on duty inquired as he inspected our adventurer’s badges.

  “Out to visit some friends. They moved out here a while back, but with all this tension with the lizardfolk going on, we want to make sure they’re safe,” Katherine said with a polite smile.

  “Oh, well, I wish you two luck, then,” the guard said, handing back our badges. “Those scalies have been crawling out of their holes all spring, and been making a ruckus.”

  “I heard about the settlement that got burned down,” Katherine said, playing the part of a worried young woman. She was so convincingly innocent even I would have been fooled if I hadn’t known her.

  To our surprise, though, the guard snorted. “That? That’s just warmongering. The scalies did attack a village, but they didn’t hurt anybody. They just wanted to take back the stuff some of the inhabitants had stolen from one of their holy shrines. Little blood was shed, no lives were taken, and no village was burned to the ground.”

  The guard spat on the ground in disgust and annoyance. “Bloody stupid idiots! Those warmongers in town yesterday just want to stir up trouble. It’s their own fault for getting caught stealing from a temple. What did they expect? Not to get attacked in retaliation?”

  He descended into angry muttering and waved us through. And with that, we were on the road. The wild, untamed lands of Drakon lay before us, and none of us knew what was in store. And to be honest, it filled me with excitement.

  So many new things to see, and to experience! This truly was a New Frontier!

  Buoyed by bubbling emotions, I eagerly set off, Katherine following at my side, Rosa sitting on my hat, and Tara humming the theme of a theatre play that had been about exploration and what-not.

  Yes. This was what freedom and being an adventurer was all about!

  .

  “So, you’re sure that the Dark Guild doesn’t like to hire kleptomaniacs?”

  “That’s just a rumor!” Katherine said with a huff. “It’s just a smear campaign to paint us all as sticky-fingered jerks who have to steal or we die!”

  We had been walking for a while now, and after taking in the sights for a couple hours, trees, trees, and more trees, (with the occasional hill), got boring quickly. To alleviate boredom, Katherine and I talked.<
br />
  This was the first time since we’d met that we could speak freely about whatever we wanted. Back in Arv Prith and while sailing onboard the Striding Fish, we couldn’t discuss our true purpose, or our backgrounds. Now, though, surrounded by dense foliage, we could chat without too much worry.

  Katherine was curious about what it was like to live among nobles and other rich people. I was interested in how the Dark Guild operated. Both of us were surprised by the others’ experiences.

  “But, you steal things for a living. Doesn’t it make sense to have people who like doing this?”

  “Yeah, but kleptos are not good thieves. They like stealing too much,” Katherine said with a roll of her eyes. “If we do recruit them, they rarely rise above low-ranked members or patsies.”

  “See, people with kleptomania don’t know when to stop stealing. And that means they’ll take ridiculous risks to obtain worthless items, all because they couldn’t control their impulses. A true thief not only knows when to stop stealing, but when some things, no matter how shiny, are more trouble than they’re worth. Case in point, marked gems.” Katherine gestured towards Rosa who was currently happily nibbling on a thumbnail-sized emerald as if it were a tasty fruit. Tiny scratches could be seen on the underside of the gem, which slowly disappeared into the Carbuncle’s belly.

  “It can take up to a month to properly fence an average sized stolen ruby, sapphire, or emerald. Bigger gems take longer. And if they have a jeweler’s mark? Triple that time, since you have to sand, cut, or melt the mark away, which lowers the value, which means you have to do more cutting and sanding and whatnot to make the gem look natural, and not like it’s been chopped up.”

  “I think I understand. Even if the giant, head-sized diamond looks nice, if you can’t sell it, it becomes nothing more than an expensive paperweight,” I said, nodding my ‘head’ as I listened to her lecture.

  “Exactly!” Katherine said happily. “We once had a new recruit who had this very problem. He stole a really nice sapphire, easily the size of a chicken’s egg and carved into the shape of one too, but it was marked. By the time the identification on the gem was gone, it had lost a quarter of its size and half of its value. Funny thing is, there were at least a dozen other smaller, unmarked jewels he could have filched that would have brought in five times the amount together, but he thought ‘bigger was better’ and ended up the butt of lots of jokes for like, two months.”

  I snorted at that. The dwarf then turned pensive and tapped her chin. “Now that I think about it, I think he took the lessons to heart in a weird way. He started to only use daggers, and never stole anything bigger than his own fist…”

  She shook her head, dismissing the thoughts. “Well, anyway, that’s my story. Your turn!”

  “What do you want to know?” I asked. Katherine smiled.

  “What was it like to study in the Academy?”

  “It was alright,” I said slowly. “Though I don’t think I’m the best person to ask in regards to what it’s like. I only attended in person for a year. And I had quite a few incidents happen as well that were far from the norm.”

  “Yeah, like the Wyvern Raid,” Katherine acknowledged. “I heard they spilled out of the Starblind Mountains like a swarm of locusts. Were you there?”

  “I was. I helped drive them off,” I said, remembering that day with perfect clarity. “I snuck out because I was worried about why the alarms were blaring, and then I climbed up to the city walls and saw the wyverns approaching. They were grotesque, twisted abominations.”

  I chuckled self-deprecatingly and grimaced in remembrance. “It was a horror show. So many innocent people died, torn apart and devoured by those damned lesser dragons.”

  “I heard a rumor that the entire incident was caused by Countess Darpel,” Katherine said slowly, trying to gauge my response. My ‘shoulders’ sagged and I nodded.

  “Yes, it was. Everything that happened was just a part of that crazy woman’s revenge scheme. She used the mutated Wyverns as a distraction to sneak some items into the Academy, which she later used to kidnap Princess Liliana.”

  It was a distinct mark of shame on the House of Roan. After, all, Countess Liliana Darpel had been my owner’s aunt. She had desired the throne for years and conspired to steal it from the rightful ruler with her husband, Count Darpel, during King Tiberius’s coronation years ago. She failed, but because she had covered her tracks well, House Darpel was not exterminated or punished like the other nobles and royal siblings who’d tried.

  Then she tried again years later, and, well, the rest was history. As was the House of Darpel.

  Katherine shook her head in disbelief as I told her of the mad countess’ failed ploy for revenge, which had started after her husband and son were killed in battle when the Darpel family rebelled a few years back. The whole matter seemed like a work of fiction when I was done retelling it. An edited version, naturally, since the whole prophecy thing was personal, private, and a little sore.

  And why was Tara suddenly trying to stifle her giggles when I thought that?

  “Is that how nobles are? I mean, I know they’re often portrayed as greedy or power hungry, but to try and poison hundreds of other people just to get a throne, and act like they were the victim when they failed?” Katherine asked, her tone incredulous.

  “I think that while some are a bit more prideful than they should be, and possess inflated egos, not all of them are bad eggs,” I said thoughtfully. “Princess Liliana and the other members of the Roan family are very kind, wise, and just rulers.”

  “Well, can’t deny that,” Katherine muttered. “Can’t say that us dwarves are any better when it comes to politics, either. Seriously, it’s a mess!”

  “I know that every clan has a say in government matters, and that the various artisans and labor guilds have their own vote, but how does anything get done with so many people trying to lead?” I asked.

  She shrugged, just as unsure as I was. “Could not tell you. It’s all very labyrinthine and confusing. Each clan has a vote, as does each guild, but the Clan-Holds themselves also get a vote, which makes it even more hard to follow, especially when the Clan-Hold votes one way, but the clans that live in it vote differently. I know that the title of Ancestor-King, while hereditary, can be passed around if the current wielder is a broken tool. His job is to cast the deciding vote if there is a tie in the Clan Assembly, but he also acts as a prime minister of sorts, drafts laws, is the highest judicial authority, and in times of war, the Supreme General. Still, it’s kind of less powerful and all-important than a human king.”

  “I met Ancestor-King Redarik once,” I mused, recalling meeting the lord and representative of all dwarves back in Sanc Aldet. Katherine looked intrigued, but I shrugged off her inquiring glance.

  “Sorry, can’t say much else than that. I saw him, heard him chat with King Tiberius a bit, and that’s all. Afterwards was the banquet, and the poisoning incident.”

  Katherine’s face turned sour, and I sighed sadly in agreement. That had been an unpleasant evening. How many lives would have been lost had my Danger Sense not kicked in? Hundreds, probably. Likely every single guest attending the ball, given how potent Triarch Effect poisoning was. And then all of Orria and beyond would have descended into open war as dozens of noble and royal individuals vomited up their entrails and died in puddles of their own liquified flesh. Not a fun thought.

  I clenched my ‘fists’ tightly as I thought of the idiotic count, and the real instigators of the event, the World Rebellion. I needed power. And what better place to train and gain said power than in the land dominated by dragons? Drakon would become my training ground.

  .

  We continued to walk in silence after that. Bringing up the plots of an evil cult bent on destroying the world tended to put a damper on people’s spirits.

  The road we were on was little more than packed dirt carved out of the raw soil. It wasn’t much, and here and there mud bogged down patches of it. I
used the same spell I’d used last autumn, Mud to Stone, to harden the path. Neither of our boots got wet or muddy.

  After hours of steady walking, we reached a large, grassy knoll surrounded by lush greenery. The road passed right by it, and we felt that it would be a good place to stop for a bit and eat lunch.

  This spot was actually a well-known landmark. Wig Mound, the locals called it, due to the all the bushes that grew on top of the knoll and gave it an appearance of a green wig. There was also a village nearby, but it wasn’t on the way to the Soul Ooze’s settlement, so Katherine and I chose to ignore it and stop at Wig Mound instead.

  We plopped down onto the slope of the knoll after I dried off the grass and laid out a camping blanket. Even if I lacked muscle, going around in my bipedal form all the time was exhausting, and I relished in the chance to take a break. I didn’t dare drop my disguise while traveling as we were still close to inhabited territory. Katherine and I had even crossed paths with people going both ways on the road, so keeping my true identity hidden was necessary for now.

  “Do you want corned beef on rye, smoked ham on rye, or peppered chicken on rye?” I asked, looking through the assortment of sandwiches Katherine had bought before we’d left that morning.

  “Ham, please,” she requested, and I drew it out of storage for her.

  “I take it you like rye bread, then?” I asked curiously, selecting a chicken sandwich for myself.

  “Love it. It’s thicker and just tastes stronger than wheat-based bread. Love it as beer or a sandwich,” Katherine said cheerfully as she tore into the meal.

  On my end, I pushed the entire sandwich into my ‘mouth,’ enjoyed the spicy tingle the pepper gave the chicken, and dissolved and digested the meal rapidly. It was tasty.

  “How far are we from our destination?” I asked, checking over the map. Katherine leaned over to peer at the unrolled parchment in my ‘hands.’