Chronicles of a Royal Pet- Of Scales and Distant Shores

by Ian Rodgers

  “Well, we’re here at Wig Mound, so, based on the scale of this map, I’d say we need another two days before we reach the village,” she said through a mouth full of sandwich.

  “I know it makes sense for the Soul Oozes to try and settle on the outskirts of New Castella, but it doesn’t make things easier for us,” I grumbled, looking at the terrain we’d have to cross. Forests first, then eventually we’d hit a marsh we’d have to navigate around. At least the village was defensible thanks to its relative isolation. Unless you wanted to go there and knew where it was, most travelers wouldn’t stumble across it by accident.

  “Ah, cheer up! Soon enough you’ll be with people just like you! Squishy and full of juice!” Katherine said, slapping me on the back. I chuckled weakly.

  “I think a lot of creatures could be classified as such. You certainly are!” I reached out and pinched her cheeks, which caused her to pout and try to break free.

  “Hey, stop that!”

  “Sorry,” I said, not sorry at all. Rosa laughed at our antics from atop my hat before turning back to her own meal; a chunk of topaz shaped like a cube.

  Suddenly, the Carbuncle paused in her feasting, looking around in confusion.

  “Is something wrong?” I asked, sensing her befuddlement.

  (I don’t know. I just felt a burst of magical energy. It reminded me of when you, daddy, and I traversed from Gaeum back to the Academy.)

  Now I was intrigued as well. The Elemental Plane of Earth was a realm composed entirely of all that dwelled within and below the earth. All kinds of stone, ores, gems and more existed. Not to mention, it existed entirely in the Aether, the source of all magic, and was not an easy place to visit. There were natural portals that could take a person to the various domains of the Aether, but the easiest and most reliable method was Planeswalking, the ability to shift oneself between dimensions.

  I was, at best, an aspiring novice in the arcane art of Planeswalking. But even I knew how odd it was to have such power just pop up randomly, practically in the middle of nowhere.

  “We need to investigate,” I declared, standing up. Katherine looked at me in confusion, crumbs on her lips.

  “What’s going on?”

  “Rosa detected some unusual magical activity. Someone or something used Dimensional magic. I want to go check it out,” I announced, and we stood, Katherine doing so reluctantly, and ventured off in the direction Rosa pointed out.

  It was over the rise of Wig Mound, and off near a copse of trees just a few feet away. The small collection of trees didn’t seem all that interesting, but the ruby-studded Carbuncle claimed she felt something coming from it.

  “I don’t see anything. Whatever was here is gone by now,” I said after we arrived. Nothing showed up on my magical senses, though I could detect the remnants of Planeswalking magic here and there amongst the plants.

  “Are you sure? And are you completely sure that if there was anything, it wouldn’t eat our souls?” Katherine asked worriedly.

  “If a demon or devil had managed to breach the Aether, I would have noticed,” I assured her. “There’s no Dark magic anywhere nearby, so we don’t have to worry about that.”

  “Oh, thank the gods,” Katherine uttered in relief.

  “Now, who said I wouldn’t take your souls?”

  A shrill, terrified scream escaped from the tiny thief at my side and I swear she jumped three feet in the air before darting behind me and using me as a meat shield.

  “Did you have to scare her like that?” I asked bitterly, trying to pretend that I wasn’t secretly hyperventilating.

  Out of the copses of trees a tall man emerged, laughing uproariously. He was the tallest man I’d ever met. Taller than even elves! He certainly wasn’t one of those pointy eared humanoids, though. His round ears made that clear. He also had a small, scraggly, scruffy beard on his chin, and I’d yet to see an elf that possessed much facial hair.

  Not only that, but no self-respecting elf would wear such a messy and uncoordinated ensemble. A navy-blue overcoat atop a black tunic and trouser combo, with dainty shoes no one would wear unless they were planning on dancing. He had his hands shoved into the overcoat’s pockets and wore a smarmy, cocky smirk. He looked like someone taking a stroll through a city, not a person who’d be hanging around a forest.

  “Who are you?” I demanded once Katherine had calmed down behind me. She shivered as the man strode over, but was able to glare at him for giving her a scare.

  As for me, I was extremely concerned. I had not detected him at all until he had revealed himself. Not on the magical spectrum, or any other method of ‘seeing’ the world I had. And that worried me greatly. Either this person was skilled enough to completely erase his presence from my senses, or he had appeared instantly and without any warning. Neither option was good.

  “Hey, don’t be so on guard! I’m not here to pick a fight, and I’m definitely not someone to be suspicious of!” he said, waving a hand dismissively at us.

  I didn’t quite believe him. Paranoia, drilled into me thanks to several months on the run from the World Rebellion’s user of Arboralnecromancy, had taught me to never let my guard down. And common sense told me not to trust anything a disheveled thirty-something man who could appear at will said.

  He raised both of his hands this time in a gesture of surrender, but maintained a slouched, relaxed posture.

  “Seriously, I’m not here to start any trouble. I just wanted to see what the old man’s newest pupil looked like, and to see how much pity I should be giving him.”

  I raised an ‘eyebrow’ at that comment. The way he was looking at me when he said it gave me an idea who exactly this ‘old man’ was. Still, I tried to confirm it.

  “Do you mean Arnolt Cantos?” I inquired. A sour look flashed across the man’s face, almost impossible to notice without superhuman senses. It faded and was replaced by a grin and a laugh.

  “Yeah, that’s the one. He said he had a new student, and I just had to see it.”

  “How do you know the legendary Ritual Master?” Katherine asked, suspicion and awe trying to fight for a position in her expression.

  “I was his first disciple. The original poor sap who had to go through hellish training,” the man said, not even bothering to hide the look of distaste that smeared across his face this time. He then shot me an expectant look. “I’m sure he’s told you all about me!”

  “Actually, the headmaster has never mentioned any of his former students to me,” I said, sheepishly rubbing the back of my ‘head.’ Annoyance and disappointment danced across the man’s face, but he sighed and shook his head.

  “Typical old man. Well, let me introduce myself, one senior student to his junior; I’m Joris Cowl, though most people know me as the Wide-Open Emperor.”

  I tilted my ‘head,’ trying to remember where I’d heard that name before. Tara was silent in my head, browsing the vast assortment of books she had access to for information on this man. Katherine, on the other hand, had her jaw drop and an expression I could only describe as hero worship appeared. Eyes sparkling, she leapt forward, removing a piece of parchment and a self-inking quill from somewhere and shoving them at him.

  “Can I have an autograph?!” she squealed, acting more girly than I’d ever seen her act before.

  Seeing the strong, independent, and tomboyish thief turn into a fangirl was a jarring experience for me, and I mentally begged Tara to hurry her research up. Rosa just continued to sit on my head, and looked as lost and bewildered as I felt.

  “Sure, always a pleasure to meet a fan,” the now-named Joris Cowl said, taking the parchment and quill and scrawling his name onto it.

  “I am confused. Who is he?” I asked. Katherine looked affronted, as if I dared to not know.

  “This is Joris Cowl! The Wide-Open Emperor! The greatest thief to ever live! And an X-ranked adventurer to boot!”

  Ah. Now Katherine’s reaction made sense.

  “I see,” I said, lying th
rough my non-existent teeth. She sighed in exasperation, not buying it.

  “Joris Cowl is a master of Dimensional magic. He can teleport anywhere, and is a master at getting into places that should be impossible to enter normally. Amongst his exploits are not just fights against monsters, but some of the greatest heists in history! Like the time he stole the entire treasury of the Mad Duke of Dala, or he plundered the infernal temple of Consuming Shadows in Val’Narash, or when he stole back the princess of Partaevia after she’d been kidnapped by the Rapture Dawn cult, or…”

  Katherine continued to chatter on, extolling the various deeds the X-ranker had done. I was impressed, even if most of the things she spoke of were thefts of varying grades of insane.

  “It’s good to know someone out there is fond of my exploits,” Joris said, giving the young dwarf a strange look. Even he was starting to become weirded out by how much she knew about him. And that most of his actions she mentioned were technically illegal, but because he’d done it to evil people he was praised for it.

  Katherine took a deep breath, panting a bit as she calmed down. “Ok. Ok, I’m good,” she said, waving off their concern.

  “Well, as wonderful as it was to have met you both, I really need to get going,” Joris said after an awkward pause. He looked at me for a moment, and I felt his appraising gaze piercing me deep, cutting through my disguise and peeking straight into my soul. And all without a drop of magic.

  I shivered under his gaze, but remained resolute and stared back. It was hard to do so without real eyes, but I managed.

  “Got a bit of spine. And plenty of suspicion. Good. Both will serve you well,” he said, before nodding in approval. “I’ll be around Drakon for a bit. Things to see, stuff to do. Might drop in again to say hello. Might even teach you a trick or two. One survivor of the old man’s training to another.”

  Joris smiled at me and Katherine, before handing her back the slip of parchment with his signature on it. He then vanished, and I jerked in surprise. There hadn’t even been a burst of mana, or a rush of displaced air! His teleportation was the smoothest and most controlled I’d ever seen! No wonder he was an X-rank and a thief a renown! Nobody short of another X-rank could keep him from going where he pleased!

  It was Tara who broke me out of my thoughts as I stood there like a brain-dead dope.

  ~Do you still want the information I obtained on the man?~ she inquired, and I quickly agreed.

  ~There is not much known about Joris Cowl,~ Tara began. ~He is older than he appears, at least, having registered as a C-rank adventurer after graduating from the Royal Varian Mage’s Academy fifty four years ago.~

  ‘That would make him, what, seventy-four?’ I asked, surprised he was that old.

  ~Seventy-three years old, actually, he managed to graduate a year early. Still, he racked up quite a few achievements early on. As Katherine already mentioned, Joris Cowl is a master of Dimensional magic, such as teleportation, Planeswalking, and similar spells based around space and distance. He was able to warp himself and other objects around in a way even an A or S-ranked mage would be hard pressed to pull off while still young. His title, ‘Wide-Open Emperor,’ refers to his free-spirited nature, and love of travel. Trying to make him do anything he doesn’t want to is considered an X-ranked task all of its own.~

  ‘Impressive. Still, I find it odd he would show up out of the blue just to talk to me,’ I said.

  ~Actually, it’s not. Joris is indeed the first person to be directly tutored by Headmaster Cantos. And he has been known to visit and check in on other people the headmaster finds interesting. But what is not well known is that Joris Cowl and Arnolt Cantos are not, well, they’re not on good speaking terms,~ Tara said, and I wondered why that was. She said she didn’t know, and I decided not to pry. It was their own business, and their own problem to sort.

  And speaking of problems, I glanced over at Katherine who was staring at the autographed parchment with stars in her eyes.

  “You doing alright there?” I asked nervously.

  “Just peachy. Why?”

  “Well, you’re looking a little obsessed there,” I said slowly, deciding a blunt approach would work best. She just smiled.

  “Of course, I am! I just met one of my great heroes! And I got his autograph!” she exclaimed. “Joris Cowl is famous amongst the thieves of the Dark Guild, and everyone wants to be like him! Mostly because they’d love to be able to bypass any and all traps and security features, but it’s love for him all the same.”

  “The only other person so revered by the Dark Guild is its founder, Robb the Robber, and while he’s stolen a lot, Joris has him beat in terms of quality, if not quantity. And even though he isn’t an official member of the Dark Guild, he’s considered an honorary member thanks to all he’s done!”

  I was silent for a moment, and watched her sing the man’s praises before I spoke something that had been bothering me for a bit.

  “You do realize that he probably now suspects you’re a member of the Dark Guild based on your fangirling, right? Or at the very least a thief. After all, the only things you praised were his borderline criminal adventures.”

  She turned pale before rushing over and grabbing my collar. “He won’t turn me in, right? I mean, I’m a fan! He wouldn’t do that to a fan, would he?”

  “First, I think you need to calm down some more,” I said, prying her hands off of my robe. “Secondly, no, I don’t think he’ll turn you in. Unless you’ve gone around stabbing people when I wasn’t looking, or before we met.”

  Her panic died down somewhat, and she took a deep breath to control her emotions. Back in control, she smiled weakly.

  “Yeah, you’re right. He probably has worse people to deal with than a petty crook.” She turned away and headed back towards the road. “Come on, we’ve got some more walking to do before we reach the Soul Ooze village.”

  “Coming!” I said cheerfully, and I followed after her, my illusory face wearing a wide grin.

  .

  Beyond the veil of space and time, Joris watched the group wander off on the road. A tiny hole in reality allowed him to look at whatever he wanted, and at the moment he was observing the first of Nia’s properly identified Chosen Ones. So far, he liked the cut of the kid’s jib. The fact that he was a sapient Ooze already put him heads above the other students the old man had taught. It was also hilarious thinking that a slime had tricked so many people into believing it was human. That tickled his fancy.

  Not to mention, the Ooze’s companions were interesting as well. The dwarf’s admiration of him bordered on fanatic, and was a bit unsettling. He wasn’t used to such awe from anyone. And learning that the Dark Guild apparently considered him an honorary member of their secretive brotherhood, while flattering, made him feel like he needed to have a talk with the various bosses running the organization so they didn’t spread that tidbit around.

  Then, there was the Carbuncle. And a Ruby Carbuncle at that. He had met many of the jeweled fairies in his travels, and those with a ruby tended to be fiery and temperamental, but fiercely loyal. She certainly had the loyalty part down.

  Lastly, there was that spirit that seemed to be possessing the Royal Ooze. No, possession wasn’t the proper term. Joris frowned, unsure of what it was, or what it was doing residing inside the Chosen One’s mindscape. The dwarf didn’t seem to be aware of its presence, and the way it was nestled inside the purple and gold Ooze mind and soul meant that the Chosen One knew it was there, and allowed it to be there. It was benign, and felt strangely familiar to a goddess he had met once. But as far as he knew, she had never bothered to create any servants or avatars. That was worth investigating.

  Joris couldn’t help but grin as he watched the quartet. They were interesting. Very interesting. He could see why the bothersome old man was invested in their success. And watching them might stave off the boredom as he waited for the World Rebellion to make a move.

  And then there was mention of something called a
Soul Ooze that had its own village. He’d naturally heard the rumors about talking Oozes, but to think it was true to an extent? And that there was a whole new species to learn about? Oh yes, very good. Very good indeed.

  Chapter 8: Arrival and recognition

  “Well, here we are, the last stretch,” I announced, eagerly staring into the murky, rancid depths of the marsh before us. Katherine just nodded while pinching her nose, and Rosa looked around curiously, having never seen a swamp before.

  “All we have to do now is cross the marsh here. We can cut through it for a mile or so, and then swing around and exit right next to the village.”

  “Couldn’t we just go around the long way?” Katherine begged, starting to regret her decisions. “If I had known how foul this marsh was, I’d have never suggested we use the shortcut.”

  “It’s not so bad,” I said, having removed my sense of smell an hour ago. “Sure, it reeks, but it could be worse!”

  “Don’t care, still regretting my decision,” Katherine griped. Rosa nodded vigorously, her hands clamped over her own nose.

  I sighed, but decided to humor them. Happy companions were better company and less whiny, after all.

  “I invoke the succor of senselessness,” I intoned, waving my staff through the air to form the spell. “Let no stench linger, and let all scents be banished. Clean, and refined. Odorless Wall!”

  A hazy bubble rippled forth, encompassing the three of us. As the barrier enveloped us, the putrid stink of the swamp vanished, leaving the area curiously sterile of scents.

  Cautiously, Katherine and Rosa let go of their noses, and breathed in the air, empty of any kind of smell. They smiled widely, feeling relief that they didn’t have to trudge through the marsh and smell it as well.

  “Odorless Wall is a Level Two spell that creates a space entirely devoid of any kind of smell. It’s unique in that it can be attached to the wand or staff or spell foci that cast it, and is mobile. So, as long as you stay nearby me, you won’t have to smell anything,” I explained.

  “Should have started with this!” Katherine said, slapping me on the ‘back’ playfully. “Let’s go! We have things to do, and places to be!”