Tainted Bastard (Tainted Knights Book 4)

by Terri Anne Browning

  Roanna

  Sin parked his car in the underground garage and turned it off. I glared at the back of his head, hating this pain in my heart that hadn’t let up once since his fuck buddy had interrupted us earlier.

  How could I, even for a single second, think we could be together?

  Sex was obviously something he needed on a regular basis, and I didn’t even know if I could ever go that far with him. He would end up cheating on me for sure if I got involved with him.

  And I knew that would kill me.

  It was killing me just thinking he’d had sex with someone else the night before last. He fucked two different chicks, then came and hung out with me at First Bass. He hugged me, comforted me after what Todd the bartender said to me. He laughed and flirted and stayed by my side when he’d just come from a threesome.

  I wanted to go home, curl up in my bed, and pretend this day never happened. I wanted to forget how happy I was earlier when he kissed me, how natural it was to kiss him back. How goddamn right it was just to sit beside him, knowing I was safe there, knowing he would never physically hurt me. That he would save me if I needed him to.

  “Are you going to run if I open the door?” Sin asked in a tight voice from the front seat. He was still facing the windshield, but I could see the side of his face. His jaw was clamped tightly, his hands clenching and unclenching around the stirring wheel.

  “Just take me home, Sin,” I told him quietly.

  His palms slammed down on the wheel, hard. Throwing his door open, he got out and walked around to open mine. I sat there, just staring at the hand he extended to assist me out. All night, he’d found a reason to have one of his hands on me at all times. Holding my hand, rubbing my back, squeezing my hip. In the time I’d known him, I’d found out he didn’t like to be touched much. I put it down to what his stepmother did to him, the control he lost when she started abusing him.

  Yet he couldn’t seem to stop himself from touching me in some shape or form all evening.

  “Get out, Ro, or I’m going to carry your sweet ass upstairs.”

  I slapped his hand away and got out without aid. I walked away from him, knowing it was useless to try to run. His long, muscular legs would catch up with me before I even got started.

  He tried to take my hand, but I crossed my arms over my chest. I heard him sigh heavily before he put his hand to the small of my back and guided me to the elevator. A group of guys were already standing there waiting for it themselves. I glanced at them, saw the interest in all their eyes, and quickly looked away.

  “Hey, Sin,” one of them greeted. “Never seen you with a blonde before. Aren’t you more into brunettes?”

  “She’s hotter than those two from the other night, too,” another guy observed, and for some reason, that made me feel slightly better. Until he opened his mouth again. “You were so wasted, making out with them both in the elevator. Lucky bastard.”

  “Fuck off,” Sin growled menacingly at him.

  “Jesus, man. Relax. Just making conversation. Fuck.”

  “Yeah, Sin. It’s not his fault you’re such a manwhore,” I snapped at him.

  “Ro, I swear to God, if you don’t stop, I’m going to spank your beautiful ass.” The elevator doors opened, and he urged me inside, but when the other guys tried to follow us, he stepped in their way. “Take the next ones, douchebags,” he told them, stabbing the button for his floor.

  “Fucking asshole,” I heard one of them grumble as the doors shut in their faces.

  I moved to the back of the elevator, leaning against it and looking anywhere but at the man seething in front of the doors. It stopped three more times, but every time someone tried to get on, Sin growled at them to fuck off and take the next one.

  I would never admit it, but I was actually glad he didn’t let anyone else ride with us. I didn’t want eyes on me, didn’t want them to witness just how torn up I was and unable to hide any of it from prying eyes. Whether he understood that or not, I didn’t know, but I was still thankful for it.

  When the elevator finally stopped on his floor, he caught hold of my hand and pulled me toward his front door. I dug in my heels, practically making him drag me. Shooting me a lifted brow over his shoulder, he threatened, “Walk, or I’ll carry you.”

  “Asshole,” I muttered, but I picked up my feet.

  Inside, he flipped on the lights in the living room and walked me over to the couch. I sat, and he pulled the coffee table over so he could sit in front of me, his knees trapping me in place. But if I expected him to jump right into whatever argument he was going to make, I was wrong.

  He sat there, gazing at me for a long moment, as if he didn’t know what to say.

  I lowered my lashes, blocking him out, refusing to let him see just how upset I still was. “I want to go home, Sin.”

  Biting back a curse, he took my hands in both of his, his thumbs rubbing soothing circles on my wrists. “I’m sorry. I wanted to have fun with you tonight, but that chick ruined it.”

  “Do you even know her name?”

  “Nope. Didn’t care enough to learn it. It was just sex, Ro.”

  That didn’t make me feel any better. I jerked my hands away and pushed aside the hair that fell into my face, fighting back tears of frustration and hurt.

  “It was just a drunken hookup, baby. She didn’t mean anything to me. None of them ever have.”

  “Then what’s this between you and me?” I asked in a choked voice. “Because I can’t give you that, Sin. Not now, maybe not ever.”

  “You are so much more than a meaningless hookup, and you know it.” He leaned forward, cupping my jaw in one hand. “I care about you. The sex part doesn’t matter. We can take that one day at a time. I’ll wait a hundred years if that’s what it takes.”

  “And cheat on me to get it because you’ll get tired of waiting.”

  “Fuck no. If you’re mine, then I’m only yours. I won’t cheat on you, Roanna.” His eyes turned pleading. “Just give me a chance to prove that to you.”

  “I don’t know if I can,” I told him honestly.

  “Why not?” he asked frustratedly, dropping his hand.

  “Because if I hurt this bad now, when I don’t even have a right to be upset or hurt, then it would probably destroy me if you cheat on me later on down the road,” I confessed.

  “I’m not going to hurt you, sweet girl.”

  A tear snuck out of my eye, spilling down my cheek without my permission. “You don’t know that. You talk a good game, Sin, but I’m well aware of just how often you hook up. Almost every Friday, you leave the gym with some brunette. And that’s your right, I know that. But fuck, it’s agony to see you with them.”

  He grasped my waist, lifting me and sliding into the spot where I was just sitting. Turning me on his lap, he stared up into my eyes. “I’m done arguing about this. I know I’m not going to cheat on you, and I’m going to prove that to you. You don’t have to give me a chance, Ro, because I’m going to take it.”

  “No, you’re not—” I started to argue, but he pulled my head down, his lips meeting mine in a hungry kiss.

  I tried to resist, tried to sit there and remain statue-still. But fuck, his lips felt so good. Less than ten seconds later and I was giving in, kissing him back.

  Between us, his cock flexed against my core. It felt so good, I couldn’t fight back a whimper, and I instinctively pushed down against him, grinding myself against his hardness.

  My entire body suddenly felt like it was alive with fire, every cell its own inferno. Wetness gathered at my entrance, soaking into my panties. I clutched at his shoulders, kissing him harder, rubbing my core against him.

  Sin’s hand slid from my waist to my hips, pressing me down into him as I rocked against him, his fingers flexing on me. It felt so good—I felt so good—I didn’t ever want to stop kissing him…

  The sudden pounding on his front door had my head jerking up, both of us panting heavily. Startled, I looked at the door
, my heart beating erratically.

  “Get lost!” he bellowed at the door, his hands tangling in my hair and urging my head back down to meet his next kiss.

  “Open this damn door, or I’m going to set it on fire!” Aubree yelled, beating on the door again.

  Hearing her voice pulled me out of the daze I’d fallen into from his kiss. My body instantly began to cool, but the ache in my center remained, still pulsing with need for Sin.

  As he groaned, Sin’s head fell back against the couch. I scrambled to get up, and he didn’t try to stop me. On my feet, I hurried unsteadily to the door, knowing Aubree wasn’t making an empty threat. I was still gasping for breath when I opened the door.

  Aubree, London, and Genesis all stood on the other side. Genesis was no longer stumbling drunk, and they all wore fierce expressions. Their eyes raked over me from head to toe, looking for any obvious signs that I was hurt, lingering on my face for a few extra seconds. I touched my kiss-swollen mouth, feeling a zing of pleasure at the memory of just how much I liked kissing Sin, my cheeks filling with a burning blush.

  Aubree’s gaze went over my shoulder seconds before I felt Sin’s heat at my back. His hand caught my hip possessively, and he pressed his hardness into my back.

  “Let’s go,” Aubree ordered, reaching for my hand.

  “Don’t go,” Sin urged quietly, his lips touching the back of my head. “Stay and talk to me.”

  Talking was the last thing I wanted to do with him right then. All I could think about was how much I wanted to kiss him again and grind against his lap. My core clenched in anticipation of doing just that, and I had to squeeze my thighs together tightly to ease the suddenly throb pulsing deep inside.

  But as much as I wanted to do exactly that, the intensity of just how badly I wanted him scared the hell out of me.

  I stepped away from him and across the threshold, walking out of the apartment and into the waiting arms of my soul sisters. Genesis’s and London’s arms both enfolded me into the group.

  “I’ll see you tomorrow, Ro,” Sin said from behind me.

  Excitement and fear filled me equally, and I shivered.

  “Leave her alone, asshole,” Aubree told him. “If she wants to talk to you, she will call you. If she doesn’t, then stay the fuck away from her.”

  “I won’t give up, Ro,” he said, speaking only to me and ignoring the little spitfire who stood between us.

  I hoped he wouldn’t.

  Chapter 15

  Sin

  “Why are we here again?” Kin grumbled from beside me in the elevator.

  “Because you keep bitching about how much you want to get Roanna to sing that new song you wrote, and I fucking need a way to see her that won’t get the door slammed in my face,” I told her for the fifth time, wishing she would just stop her bitching and be quiet.

  Using Kin to get what I wanted was a last resort, but Roanna wasn’t answering my calls and was ignoring my texts. When I showed up the day before, no one would answer the door, even though the car they shared was still in the parking lot. Remembering how Kin had been raving on and on about her new song, but that it needed a female voice rather than a male, I jumped headfirst into the excuse to get us both what we wanted.

  “It’s not like you had shit to do anyway.”

  She glared at me as the elevator slowed down for our stop. “No, of course, I didn’t. It’s not like I have school or I’m helping my best friend plan her wedding or anything.”

  “Another thing you keep bitching about. If you don’t want to help her, just tell her.”

  The elevator doors opened, and I stepped off, with her following at a slower pace. “I want to help her. I can just tell she isn’t happy right now. She… Why the hell am I explaining myself to you? It has nothing to do with you, and you probably don’t even give a shit about it anyway.”

  “You would be right,” I said with a nod before knocking on Roanna’s door.

  Hearing footsteps on the other side, I moved to the side and pulled Kin in front of it so whoever was looking through the peephole would only see her. Seconds later, the door opened, and a sleepy Roanna stood in front of us. She was in pajama pants and a long-sleeved sleep shirt that fell all the way to her knees. Her long blond hair was rumpled, her brown eyes slightly squinty, telling me she must have just woken up.

  “Kin?” she asked around a yawn.

  I pushed Kin aside and grabbed hold of Roanna, pulling her out into the hall. Surprised, she tried to pull away, but I only grasped her other hand, locking her in place. Hungrily, I scanned my eyes over her. I hadn’t seen her in two days, and all I wanted to do was look at her.

  “Answer your goddamn phone, woman,” I growled. “I’ve been trying to get hold of you for days, and all I get is silence. I even came here yesterday, and no one would answer the fucking door.”

  “Sin—”

  Frustrated, I cut her off with a kiss. I kept it soft, not devouring her mouth the way I so desperately wanted to. I just needed to shut down whatever argument she might have had. Instantly, she melted against me, kissing me back, and I nearly howled with relief. Lifting my head, I touched my forehead to hers. Feeling her warmth under my fingertips, her heartbeat pounding against me, smelling the scent of her shampoo—I could finally draw a deep breath again.

  “Well, this is awkward,” Kin grumbled.

  Startled, Roanna jumped back from me, her eyes wide as she turned to face Kin. “Wh-What are you two doing here?”

  “I’m here to discuss business, and Sin has his own nefarious reasons, obviously.” She nodded toward the open door. “Can I come in?”

  “Yeah, sure.” Pulling her hands out of my grasp, Roanna walked into the apartment. “You want coffee? Everyone else is at the gym, I think, but whatever you need to talk to me about, I can discuss with them later.”

  “Actually, it’s you I wanted to speak to, in particular,” Kin said, following her into the kitchen.

  The place was a lot smaller than the one the Blondes had when they began playing at First Bass. After kicking Peyton out when her antics put the club in hot water, they had to find another place quickly. This one was less than half the size of the other, two bedrooms instead of four, and with only a single bathroom for four chicks to share.

  The kitchen was barely big enough for the three of us to stand in, with a tiny fridge that even Aubree was taller than, and a stove. The coffeepot and a cheap microwave were the only other appliances, with a single row of cabinets and counter space separating the stove and fridge, with the sink halfway between. There wasn’t even room for a table in there, forcing them to eat in the living room.

  I felt suffocated in the space with the two of them and stayed near the doorless archway between the kitchen and living room.

  “I have a new song I just finished tweaking and thought of you. It will be perfect for your voice, and I think it will be something you might want to add to your normal set.”

  Roanna’s hands paused in midair, inches away from turning on the coffeepot. Nervously, she flipped it on and reached for mugs out of the cabinet above her head. “I-I guess I could take a look at it. But I can’t agree to sing it without the others’ vote. All songs have to pass everyone’s approval before we perform it.”

  “I know what happened after you did the last song, Ro,” Kin told her softly, sensing the other chick’s discomfort. Roanna hadn’t sung the last song again that Kin had given her after what transpired that night. No one ever talked about it, but I could tell she was still freaked out over it and feared it happening again. “This song isn’t like that.”

  “Okay, but I still have to put it to a vote.”

  “Understandable.” Pulling the folded sheet music from her back pocket, Kin placed it on the counter. “Just look it over and discuss it with the others. Give me a call to let me know what you think later.” Giving her a warm smile, she backed away. “Anyway, I need to get going. Lucy is expecting me.”

  Kin glared at me as she p
assed by. “Good luck, dickhead.”

  “Yeah. Thanks.”

  Her eyes widened in surprise. “Huh. You actually know how to say that word. I honestly didn’t think it was part of your vocab.”

  “Fuck off, Kin. Chill with being a bitch for like five seconds.”

  “And there he is. Whoa, I was really scared there for a second.” Grinning, she walked away.

  I waited until I heard the front door close before moving away from the doorway. Roanna was pretending to look over the song in her hands, but I could tell her eyes weren’t moving. She was waiting for me to make a move. Hating that she was so nervous around me now, and not understanding why, I snatched the music out of her hands and tossed it back on the counter. Cupping her ass in both hands, I pulled her into me.

  “You’ve been avoiding me,” I murmured, touching my lips to the corner of her mouth.

  “H-Have I?” she stammered.

  “Why are you shaking?” I demanded, trying to keep my voice calm. Releasing her ass, I stroked a hand down her back, trying to catch her gaze but failing. “Ro, look at me.”

  “I-I am.”

  I caught her chin, but when I lifted it, she lowered her lashes. “Are you…scared of me?”

  Her hesitation turned my heart to ice, but then she shook her head and I breathed a heavy sigh of relief.

  “Then what’s wrong, sweet girl?”

  Shaking her head again, she dislodged my hand before pressing her forehead into my chest. “I’m not scared of you. I’m scared…of this. Of what you make me feel. The other night… That kiss. It was pretty intense for me.”

  I groaned at the remembered agony of just how hard I’d been right before her friends showed up. The kiss got out of hand, I could admit that, but I’d been in complete control. She had been enjoying it, had been close to coming just by grinding on me, and that was all I wanted at the time. It didn’t even matter to me that I had blue balls all fucking night.

  “What exactly scared you?” I asked, needing to know what not to do next time to make her comfortable. “What didn’t you like?”

  “I liked it all. That…” She huffed softly and whispered, “That’s what scared me.”