Tainted Bastard (Tainted Knights Book 4)

by Terri Anne Browning

  “Feeling good scares you?”

  “Yeah.”

  Before, when she first told me about the man who abused her, I wanted to find him and finish the job Aubree started. No man deserved to have a cock if he was going to hurt someone with it, especially a little girl like Roanna had been. But hearing her say she was scared of me making her feel good made me want to kill the sonofabitch with my bare hands. How badly did he hurt her to make her afraid of pleasure?

  Knowing if I kept thinking about it, I would fly into a rage, I pushed the thought of him away. He wasn’t important. Only Roanna was.

  I picked her up and sat her on the counter. Without my coaxing or asking, she spread her legs, letting me closer. “I’m going to ask you something, and it’s important that you’re completely honest with me. Okay?”

  “Yeah,” she whispered.

  “Have you ever touched yourself, Ro? Ever masturbated?”

  Her cheeks reddened, but after a small hesitation, she finally shook her head.

  “Why not?”

  She leaned her head back against the cabinet, glaring up at the ceiling so she didn’t have to meet my gaze. “Because I’ve never had that kind of urge. When Sicko Stan raped me, I was barely a teenager. It was like he killed all of those kinds of feelings and needs inside of me.”

  “And the other night was the first time you ever—”

  “Yes!” she cried before I could finish the question, her face flaming.

  Fuck, my dick liked that answer a lot more than it should. Feeling smug that I could make her feel anything after what she went through, I kissed her. Just a quick brush of my lips over hers before forcing myself to lift my head. “That’s not a bad thing, Ro. You’re allowed to get turned on from just a kiss. Hell, I’m hard as a damn rock right now.”

  “It never felt good when Sicko Stan did things to me, Sin. It hurt every time.” Her voice was so weak, I wanted to punch something. Preferably her abuser right in the nut sac. “The other night scared me so much because I wasn’t expecting to feel anything. Instead, I was on fire. Every part of my body felt the blaze.”

  I brushed a few locks of hair back from her face. “That’s the way it’s supposed to feel, sweet girl.”

  She covered her face with her hands. “I know, and I’m sorry.”

  “What the fuck are you sorry about?” I pulled her hands down and kissed her again. “If you enjoyed it, there isn’t anything you should feel the need to apologize for,” I breathed against her lips.

  “Sin,” she moaned, kissing me back.

  “I want to make you feel good, Ro. I want to be the one who makes you come and shows you there’s nothing to be afraid of.” I brushed my nose against hers, dropping soft kisses on her lips. “Do you trust me?”

  “In theory,” she whimpered, and I nipped at her bottom lip.

  “Theories need to be tested, sweet girl.” I touched my mouth to the shell of her ear. “Will you let me test this one with you?”

  Chapter 16

  Roanna

  Why did his kisses have to be so intoxicating?

  They weren’t even deep kisses, just soft brushes of his lips against mine. Teasing little caresses that made my brain shut down and my stomach tighten while my core flooded with liquid heat that had my hips inching forward, wanting that same contact as Friday night. That same pressure right in my center.

  What had he asked?

  Would I test this theory with him?

  I didn’t know if I could, but his kisses made it impossible to think beyond the next sensation. The tingle of my skin as his breath caressed over my cheek. The sound of his exhale at my ear. The press of his fingers into my flesh. The scent of his body wash when I buried my face in his neck and gave his lips access to the tender spot where my shoulder and neck met.

  “Trust me,” he rasped against my skin. “Let me show you there is nothing to be afraid of.”

  I barely had enough brain power to nod, and then he was lifting me from the counter. My legs wrapped around his waist on instinct alone, and he carried me into the living room. He sat, with me still wrapped around him, and kissed me again. This one wasn’t nearly as soft as the others, but they went straight to my head, making me dizzy from how delicious they were.

  His hands stroked up and down my sides, his thumbs brushing over the sides of my breasts through my sleep shirt, making me acutely aware I wasn’t wearing a bra. With my legs still wrapped around his waist, my core was exposed. My thin pajama pants, minus panties beneath, offered little protection from the massive bulge now pressed against my center through his jeans.

  Between his kisses, his caressing hands, and his hardness flexing against me, I didn’t know what to focus on more. My entire body was burning, and I wasn’t sure how I wasn’t already a pile of ash in his lap.

  I pressed my hips down, seeking deeper contact with his bulge, and we both groaned. Lifting his head, he caught my ass in both his hands, pressing me closer. “Does that feel good?”

  Still gasping for breath, all I could do was nod.

  His fingers squeezed, massaging each handful. “Are you starting to ache?” I nodded again. “No, Ro. Give me the words. Tell me, are you starting to ache?”

  “Y-Yes,” I moaned.

  “Where?”

  “You know where,” I panted.

  “Show me,” he commanded.

  “Here.” I ground my drenched core into him. There was no way he couldn’t tell just how wet I was. My pajama pants were already soaked.

  “That feels so damn good, baby,” he growled, his head falling onto the back of the couch, his eyes closing to half-mast.

  “Sin,” I whined, wanting his lips back on me, his hands teasing my breasts again.

  “I know, sweet girl, but you’re the one in control here.” His hands fell away from my ass. “Rub against me. Make yourself come like this.”

  Even though my core was its own inferno, need and want gnawing at me like a nagging hunger, I hesitated. I thrived in the spotlight, but right then, I knew what stage fright was. I felt clumsy, my hips suddenly not sure what to do.

  I pressed my hands to his chest as embarrassment began to replace my need.

  I didn’t want to be in control. Sicko Stan always made me be the one to touch him, the one who “initiated” everything. And back then, to my innocent mind, he was able to use that against me. If I touched him first, then I was the one who wanted it. It meant I wanted him to touch me.

  It took a lot of therapy before I understood just how twisted up he had made me about sex and control.

  “Ro?” Sin’s head lifted, his eyes scanning my face.

  My lashes lowered so he couldn’t see the sudden tears that were stinging my eyes. “I-I liked it better when you were kissing me,” I whispered.

  “Yeah?” He cupped my chin. “Just when I was kissing you, or was it when I was the one in control?”

  “Both.”

  His fingers threaded through my hair, tightening at the roots. “Is that what you want? For me to kiss you and make you feel good? You want me to touch you, sweet girl?”

  I nodded, still keeping my lashes lowered.

  “Ro,” he said warningly. “Give me the words.”

  “Yes,” I moaned when he tipped my head back and skimmed his lips over mine. “I want you to kiss me. I want to feel good. I want you to…touch me.”

  The hand not in my hair trailed down my body, cupping first one breast, playing with the hardened nipple, before squeezing the other. I arched my back, offering up my chest for him to play with. “You like that. What if I touched you here?” His hand flattened against my stomach and slid lower until he reached the top of my pajama pants. “Do you want that, Ro?”

  “I…I don’t know,” I answered honestly.

  Slowly, his hand molded to my core, staying on the outside of my clothes. His thumb touched my clit, causing sparks to flash outward from my center. Then he was cupping me right where I ached the most.

  “Is this ok
ay?” His voice was tight, like he was having trouble controlling it, but there was nothing but gentleness in his gaze when he looked up at me. His thumb glided over my clit again, and I found myself mewling like a damned cat at the intensity of the pleasure shooting off inside. “Do you like this?”

  I nodded, but I gave him the verbal response he wanted. “Yes. I l-like that, a lot.”

  “Keep your eyes on me. Don’t look away.”

  That seemed physically impossible. Each brush of his thumb over my clit, his fingers over my center, made me want to close my eyes to savor the pleasure.

  “You want my lips too?” he asked, pulling my head down to his, so our mouths could merge. His tongue teased my bottom lip. “You want my tongue in your mouth while I finger you?”

  “Please,” I whimpered. “This feels so good, Sin.”

  “Are you scared?”

  I shook my head. “No. Not right now.”

  “Because I’m kissing you?” He sucked my bottom lip into his mouth while his thumb strummed my clit like I was one of his guitars. “Because you know I won’t hurt you?”

  “Both,” I sighed into his mouth. “I…I trust you.”

  “Ro.”

  “Sin, you’re talking too much,” I complained. “Just kiss me.”

  With a growl, he turned us on the couch. My back hit the cushions, and he followed me down, kissing the breath out of me. His hand went back to my core, still staying on top of my clothes, his fingers playing me just as expertly as he did his bass. I pressed my hips up into his touch, wanting him closer, my core walls clenching for something…more.

  I clutched at his back, my nails slicing into his flesh in an attempt to hold myself to the earth. Hungrily, his mouth left mine and trailed down my neck, his teeth scraping over my skin along the way. His free hand lifted my sleep shirt then started to push down my pajama pants.

  Then his fingers were on me, with no clothes between his touch and my sex. The contact was a hundred times better than grinding on his lap, a thousand times better than when my pajamas separated us. His mouth latched on to my right breast, sucking the nipple into his mouth, engulfing the entire thing like he was trying to swallow me whole.

  I grasped his head, holding him to me as I lifted my hips, thrusting against his hand.

  “Sin,” I cried boldly. “Put one inside me, please!”

  His middle finger thrust deep inside of me, and suddenly I was flying over a cliff into an ocean of pure, uncontrollable bliss. I swallowed my scream, my head twisting on the couch as my core quivered under his continued ministrations.

  There was no way to measure how much time passed before I was able to open my eyes again. Sin was lying on top of me, the side of his face pillowed on my bare breasts. He was still rubbing my pussy, not really sexually, more petting me—soothing me—and it was only making me wet for him all over again. I could feel the way his cock pulsed against my inner right thigh through his jeans, but he wasn’t trying to free himself. Nothing he was doing seemed to be about his pleasure, only my own.

  “Don’t…you want—”

  “Fuck yeah, I do,” he groaned, kissing between my breasts. “But I’m not going to. This was about you.” Lifting his head, he kissed me. One of those softer kisses again, not the soul-drugging ones that made my toes curl. “I wanted to show you there was nothing to be scared of. Are you?”

  “Scared?”

  His hungry eyes locked on to mine, and he nodded.

  “No,” I whispered. “That was too amazing to be scared of.”

  A smug grin tilted up his lips. “Good. Now, please, for the sake of my sanity, go put on some real clothes so I can take you to get something to eat. If we stay here any longer, I’m going to fuck this up.”

  Chapter 17

  Sin

  “What else do you want?” I asked Roanna as we stood at the counter at the movie theater later that evening.

  Earlier, I’d taken her to lunch, where she devoured some vegan tofu wrap thing, and I suffered through some kind of meatless sandwich that I smothered in sriracha. Even then, it tasted like crap. Afterward, I talked her into spending the rest of the day with me, but getting her to agree wasn’t nearly as hard as I expected it to be. She texted Aubree to let her know I would bring her home late, then put her hand so trustingly in my own and asked if we could walk on the beach.

  She could have asked me to walk into hell right then, and I would have.

  For her.

  Only ever for my sweet girl.

  Now we were about to watch a movie. There was a line of at least twenty people behind us that I was holding up because I kept asking Roanna what she wanted to eat. Each time, she would nibble on that damn bottom lip, glance up at the menu or down at the candy selection, and ask for something else.

  So far, we had a huge tub of popcorn with extra butter, fully loaded nachos, three selections of candy, a glass of wine, a beer for me—thank fuck this place served alcohol—and a large Diet Coke for her when her wine was finished.

  “I’m good,” she said. “I don’t know how we’re going to eat all of this without bursting.”

  The kid behind the counter started putting all our stuff on a tray, and I handed over my credit card to the manager-looking guy who had been taking our order. I took the card back, handed Roanna her wine, and picked up the tray. It was so full, I had to carry it with both hands, making me grumpy because I couldn’t hold her hand as we headed for the right theater.

  Another kid was taking tickets, and we waited for our turn. “Grab the tickets for me, babe,” I told her, turning just enough so she could pull the tickets out of my back pocket.

  Her fingers brushing over my ass through my jeans made them tighter as my cock hardened and strained against the zipper. Thank fuck she didn’t linger. After earlier, the least little touch was liable to make me explode then and there.

  In the correct theater for our movie, some action/mafia/hitman thing she said she was dying to watch when I asked what movies she liked, I noticed the theater was already half full. This theater had assigned seats which we’d picked out when I bought the tickets on their app. Glancing up, I immediately spotted ours.

  And the three douchebags already sitting beside them.

  Preppy assholes in their J. Crew jeans and polos. Their hair was styled in that “I just got out of bed” pretty-boy messy way. They were drinking and giggling like little bitches. From the looks of them, they could have been anywhere from eighteen to twenty-five. But with the beers in their hands, I figured they were at least twenty-one, or this place couldn’t spot a fake ID for shit.

  Roanna led the way, murmuring, “Excuse us,” as she moved past them. The aisle was wide enough to make room for the reclining seats, so she didn’t have to squeeze by any of them. My hands clenched on our tray as their greedy eyes raked over her from head to toe, taking in her windblown blond hair, her still-swollen lips from where I’d kissed her right before we left my car, simple but snug T-shirt that molded over her tits, and the tight as fuck jeans that cupped her perfect ass.

  She sat, taking the seat farthest away from the group, putting her glass of wine in the cupholder and pushing the button to recline her chair enough that her legs were elevated.

  I placed the tray on her lap, pulled off the jacket I’d brought so she could cover up if she got cold, and sat beside her.

  “Comfortable?” I asked her, taking a nacho covered in cheese and jalapenos.

  She nodded, grinning up at me.

  “What?” I licked my lips.

  Her soft thumb brushed over the corner of my mouth. “You have cheese right here.” Lifting her hand, she showed me.

  I caught her hand and sucked the cheese off her thumb, watching as her eyes darkened with pleasure. “Thanks, baby.”

  “Y-You’re welcome,” she murmured breathlessly.

  The theater lights lowered as the trivia game on the screen disappeared to show the first trailer. More people filed in, and the seat on the other side of Roan
na was taken. Some guy with his girlfriend. He put the girlfriend beside Roanna, who smiled at her in greeting.

  “Good to see I’m not the only girlfriend in here,” she told Ro. “I really don’t mind these movies as long as the lead guy takes his shirt off a few times.”

  Roanna laughed softly. “I’m the one who wanted to watch this one, so I’m in it for all the action. But the shirtless scenes in the trailers may have sealed the deal for me.”

  “Right?” the other woman giggled.

  “Babe, don’t talk the whole movie,” her boyfriend groaned. “You’re gonna get us kicked out again like last time.” He met my gaze over the top of their heads. “This one has never met a stranger in her life.”

  “But you love me anyway,” she cooed at him.

  “Not when you get me kicked out before I can watch my movie, woman.”

  “I made it up to you,” she purred. “Tell me it was worth it.”

  His arm went around her shoulders, pulling her head to his chest before kissing her. “It was beyond worth it. Now hush, babe. Let the pretty girl watch the movie with her man.”

  “I knew you thought she was pretty.”

  “And you’re beautiful. Be quiet before I spank that fine ass.”

  Grinning at their affectionate bickering, Roanna leaned in closer to me. “They remind me of Jace and Kin.”

  I nodded. “A little.”

  Yeah, they did seem a lot like Jace and Kin—before the summer tour. Now, Kin was pissed at Jace, and Jace had his head up his ass. Remembering the argument I’d seen between him and some blond chick back in Miami, I wondered if he had cheated on his girlfriend. If maybe he still was. He’d been acting shady ever since that night, but we weren’t close enough for me to get in his business like that.

  By the time the movie started, Roanna was shivering. I wrapped my jacket around her arms like a blanket, and like magic, she pillowed her head on my shoulder.

  “Sin?”

  I kissed the top of her head. “Yeah, babe?”

  “Thank you for today,” she said. “It has been the best day I’ve ever had.”