by C. Morgan
“Hey, I’m not done. I want to see my son and at least tell him goodbye.”
“You know what, Clay? You need to worry about getting those damned divorce papers to me. Stop dragging your feet and trying to buy time. There’s nothing here for you.”
I got in and shut my door, but Clay just had to make things worse by pounding on the roof of the car in anger as I started the engine. By the time I wanted to drive away, he was yelling at me through the window.
I found my opportunity to leave and left him standing alone in the parking lot, looking like he was pissed off at the world.
Chapter 11
Clay
I was so angry at Beth that I had decided to drink off some of my anger at LeRoy’s bar. But when I was on the way, all I kept thinking was about Jack and how something terrible might have happened or cause him permanent damage.
Beth had had an accident a couple of years back, and she had hurt her ankle. At first, she started out doing okay, but eventually, she grew dependent on the painkillers and used them a lot longer than she needed to.
Even though she was supposed to have given it up, I couldn’t help but wonder if that was the reason our son had problems. As I drove down the main street back across town, I Googled the medication and its list of side effects, only to come up short. But all I knew was it wasn’t my fault. It wasn’t something I’d done that she could blame on me. If our son was deaf, it was because of her.
As I passed Nick’s construction site, I spotted him outside. He was talking to a man who turned and walked away, looking like he was as angry as me.
I took it as my cue to turn around and go see him. Maybe he would give me some advice.
I pulled into the construction site and drove around to the trailer that had to be his office. When I went to knock on the door, he opened it.
“I thought that was you,” he said. “I was just about to text you and see how it went, but I just got into it with the concrete guy.”
“Yeah, I saw him storm off.” I chuckled.
“After he told me to eat shit.” Nick laughed like it didn’t bother him one bit.
“Doesn’t that ever get to you?” I didn’t understand the way he let everything roll off of his back. “I’d have knocked his teeth out.”
Nick shook his head. “Nope, because it doesn’t matter, and it’s best not to create problems. What does it benefit me if I hit him?”
“Satisfaction?” I would have wanted to put the guy in his place.
Nick shook his head. “Clay, I got enough of that male posturing bullshit when I was in college. I don’t care what that fool says. He’s going to have to crawl back to me in a few days over something else, and he’ll be the one who’s sorry. I don’t have time for that kind of stuff.”
I could see his point, and I felt kind of ashamed that I didn’t have the right attitude about it. “In college, you would have punched the guy in the teeth.”
“Yeah, well, I’m not a kid anymore. I have a kid, and I have to step up for him. I’m all he’s got.”
“How’s Max doing? What is he? Five?”
“Almost, and he’s good. He’s a handful. Keeps me on my toes.”
“Do your parents have him while you’re here?” They had kept him while he was in Las Vegas on our vacation to visit Grady.
“Yeah, they help out, and he keeps them on their toes too. They said he’s a lot easier to raise than me, but I think that’s just because they don’t ever tell him no. I hate to think of how spoiled he’ll be when I get back.” We shared a chuckle. “But hey, I want to hear about Jack. How’d it go?”
“Let’s grab that lunch. It might take a while.”
“That bad?”
“Well, that, and I really think I stuck my foot in it with Beth.”
“Damn, Clay. When will you learn? I’ll just tell my foreman I’ll speak to him later. You can drive.”
“Sounds fine with me. I don’t have anything better to do.”
“Well, aside from looking for work, right?” He gave me a nudging look.
“Right.” I had no intention of looking anywhere else but the entertainment circuit. The sting from Jack’s appointment still had me in a horrible mood, and I was mostly angry with myself.
Finally after about ten minutes of waiting, Nick got in the car.
“What the hell took you so long?”
“My concrete man called to apologize. He’s going to need my signature on an invoice.” The look in his eyes was pure satisfaction. “See? I got the best of him, and I didn’t even need to put my fist through his teeth.”
I let that one fall victim to silence.
A moment later as I got back on the main road, he asked, “Where are you taking me to eat?”
“How about a fat, juicy steak?”
“Sounds good to me.”
I drove us out to Salty’s knowing that they had a steak special that was just as good as any you’d get in the finest steakhouse.
“With all of the fancy places around this town, you bring me to a place called Salty’s?”
“Hey, it’s the best. Trust me. It puts that Vegas buffet you raved about to shame.”
“I think Zane would disagree.”
“That’s because he was getting the special with a side of happy ending.” I wagged my brows, and Nick shook his head.
“He’s happy. So he must have done something right.”
“And I’m not, so I guess I deserve to feel like shit.”
“That’s not what I meant. But why don’t you tell me what happened?”
I got out of the car and shut the door. “Come on. Let’s get a table, and I’ll tell you about it over the steaks.”
We went inside, and with it being so busy, we sat down at the end of the bar. I took the stool on the end, and he had the one beside me when Sam came out. “Hey, Clay. What can I get for you?”
“I’ll have the steak special. And I want my steak medium-well with a big fat baked potato and a soda.”
“I’ll have the same,” Nick said, handing her back the menu. “Medium-rare please.”
“You got it.” She took the menus away and didn’t make with small talk, considering the place was so busy.
As we waited, Nick turned on his stool. “You must have really screwed up if you’re hesitating to tell me what happened.”
“I blamed Beth.”
“For what?”
“Jack’s tests showed that he only has ten percent hearing in one ear and ninety in the other. So there’s a loss in both, and they suspect it happened in the womb. They called it damage. Like something had been done to him. It just freaked me out thinking anyone could hurt him.”
Nick’s chest and back swelled up as he took a big breath. I knew he wasn’t happy with me, and I was pretty sure he was about to tell me so. Instead, he took his drink from Sam as she returned with them and then waited for her to walk away before turning his attention back to me. “Are you out of your fucking mind? You blamed your wife? She’s bound to be upset and hurt, and you put it all on her? For all you know, it could be a genetic condition that you gave him. So don’t be so hard on her.”
“I accused her of abusing drugs and dropping him on his head.”
“Oh, it just gets better. You really know how to be a dumbass, don’t you?”
“I’m sorry. You really know how to bust my balls, too. I know I fucked up.”
“Yeah, like Beth would ever hurt him,” he said. “Jack’s the center of her universe. And you didn’t really blame her as much as accused her. I think you had better call and apologize. Use your grief as an excuse while you can and beg for her forgiveness before the bitterness sets in.”
“I think it already has. She hates me, and all she wants me to give her is the divorce papers.”
“You still haven’t signed them?”
I raked my hand through my hair. “No, I haven’t. I keep stalling, and I keep hoping that there will be something to bring us back together, but when there could
be, I keep fucking it up.”
“Look, you’ve got to make up your mind as to what you want.”
“I want Beth and I want Jack, but I can’t have them both. She won’t come around.”
“Not with that attitude, she won’t. You need to grow up and try to do better. And I’m not just talking about the fighting and drinking. You have to step up and be a man. Do the hard work. Here’s something to think about. If Beth came home with a new couch, would you make her carry it in all by herself?”
“I wouldn’t let her touch it. I’m not that bad. But honestly, I’d ask her why she didn’t get free delivery.”
“It’s not my point,” said Nick with a sigh. “My point is, if you saw her trying to lug that couch, you’d take the load, right?”
“Of course.”
“Right answer. So, why are you making her carry all of the burdens alone? When you act up, that’s what she had to do.”
“That’s why she divorced me. She told me she did everything alone anyway, right before she left. She was sick of me sleeping all day and coming in late, drunk, and smelling like other women, which I never even touched.” I rolled my eyes. It didn’t mean I didn’t let them touch me at the club or flirt. But it was all part of the act. I never meant anything by it.
“Clay, I’ve seen your act. You eye-fuck half of the crowd and sing love songs to women you don’t even know.”
“People don’t want to sit and listen to me go on about my wife, Nick.” He just didn’t get it. It was just part of the show.
“I’m just saying, you need to be more for your son and show him better than what you’ve shown her. And if you want to see him more, you might consider finding steady work and pay. Even just for a little while.”
“Ugh, you too? I feel like you’re teaming up on me.”
“It’s just time to grow up. We all do it. You’ve just waited a lot longer. And that’s okay, you know? But do it before you lose everything forever. Jack needs his father.”
“I’m always going to be there for him.”
“Have you ever thought that maybe someone else would be there in your place?”
“I have actually.” I didn’t like to think about it. I never wanted my son to grow up and call someone else daddy. “I’ve noticed Beth texting a lot when I’m around. She says it’s her friend, Della. But I’m not so sure. She sure is trying to kick me to the curb awfully fast.” Just thinking about it made me want to punch things.
“Yeah, you still love her. Look how pissed off you are.” He pointed to the mirrored wall on the other side of the counter.
“I don’t want someone else taking my kid from me.”
“Then it’s time you get your life back in order, or it won’t happen. All Beth wants is for you to show her that you’re willing to help her. And if you do that and she doesn’t want you, then you know it’s over, but you can look your son in the eyes years from now and tell him you gave it your best shot. That you didn’t give up on him. Because if you’re not around, he’s going to ask you why. He’ll make you accountable.”
“I know you’re right. I’m going to do that.” I closed my eyes and tried not to cry over my steak when Sam put it in front of me.
“Can I get you anything else?” she asked with a sweet voice.
“No, we’re good, thanks,” said Nick. When she walked away, he carved into his meat, and I said a quick prayer for strength.
If I was going to get my family back, I was going to need it.
Chapter 12
Beth
The next day while I was waiting on my afternoon appointment, Della surprised me by bringing Jack by the office. He was so cute in a little jumper with a vest and a little bow tie that she had put on him. “Where did he get that?” I asked, referring to the outfit.
“Oh, it’s just a little something I saw. I had to buy it, and I had to put it on him right away. And then I thought he was so freaking cute I had to stop by.”
“You made me do a double-take at the watch. I’m waiting for my afternoon appointment, and he’s usually not this late.”
“Well, I’m only a little early. I thought I’d sit out in the waiting room if you didn’t mind.” It wasn’t the first time she had done that, and I always tried to be thankful.
“You know it’s fine. I just appreciate all the help.”
“So, you were pretty angry when you dropped him off. Did something happen with Clay?”
“Do you mean instead of him accusing me of dropping my baby on his head, doing drugs, and playing loud music? No, it went okay yesterday. Like any other day.” I was stuck between being hurt and angry that he could even think such a thing about me.
Della’s face turned red. “What? Are you serious? He actually said all of those things?”
“Yeah. Apparently, Jack’s hearing loss is all my fault because I’m a terrible mother.”
“You’re not a terrible mother. You’re a great mom. And F-U-C-K him if he can’t see that.” She always spelled out curse words if she thought my son might hear her.
“Yeah, well, I don’t think you saying so will convince him.”
She was still upset and ranting. “That’s why you need to take my advice and find someone who will help you out and be a good guy to you. Clay is an A-S-S. Sure, I can’t deny that he’s sexy, but you can find another man who is worth your time and worthy of Jack’s.”
“Yeah, well, he’s the asshole who gave me Jack, so he’s not all bad all of the time. He’s just scared. You should have seen him. I know the color drained from my face, but Clay was so pale, he looked like he would be sick any minute.”
I had already filled her in on what happened with Jack’s condition.
She made a face. “Well, I can’t really feel sorry for him when you make me angry at him. Besides, are you sure you don’t want to go on a date? There’s this really hot guy at work named Darrel, and he’s looking for someone to go out with.”
“You date him,” I said.
She shook her head. “Oh, no. My father would kill me. He doesn’t want me dating anyone from the property offices, especially since I oversee them.”
“You don’t work directly with them. You just look in on them.” I didn’t see what it would matter. Her father owned a lot of properties around the city, upper and lower rentals. Some were entire housing additions, and she oversaw them all.
“He’s just weird about it.”
“For some reason, I think it’s this guy you’re trying to push on me who is the weird one. What’s wrong with him?”
“Nothing,” she said with a defensive tone. “He’s just more your type.”
I didn’t bother asking her what the hell that meant. “No, I’m not being set up. I was set up with Clay, and I just want to go about it differently when I am ready to do it again, which I’m not.” Part of me just wanted Clay to step up and be the man I needed him to be. “Besides, I have a specific type.” Clay.
“Yeah, I bet I know who.” She rolled her eyes. “And you wonder why he won’t sign those papers. It’s because you obviously still want him. He thinks he can get away with being hateful to you.”
About that time, I heard someone coming up the hall. “Stop,” I said with a hushed tone. “My next session is here, and I don’t want to air my dirty laundry here.”
I turned expecting to find Taylor, but instead, Luke Douglas was alone and with a very concerned look on his face.
“Hi, Beth. I’m sorry to have to do this to you, but I couldn’t bring Taylor today. I tried to call, but my phone is fried.”
“Oh, I really hate he had to miss his appointment. He’s making a lot of progress.”
“I know, and I feel horrible. It’s just I forgot his mother had to take him to see a relative, and well, she’s very adamant about her visitation. So, I was wondering if you minded seeing him tomorrow?”
“Oh, I don’t work on Saturdays. I’m so sorry, but I’m sure it can wait until next week.” I didn’t want him to think it was anyth
ing personal.
“Oh, well, I’ll tell him I tried. He’s so upset. And I know he’s mad at his mom for making him miss today. He loves coming here to see you, and he was excited about being ahead.”
I felt for the kid. He was doing so well, and I thought about what I might do if I were in the same situation. We single parents had to help each other out. “You know, I think I can see him tomorrow. Same time?”
“Oh, thanks so much, Beth. It means a lot.”
“Hey, it’s no problem really. Taylor’s worth the exception. And I know how difficult sharing custody can be at times.” Actually, I didn’t have to share Jack at all, but I still felt for him. It had to be difficult.
“Well, I won’t keep you, but we’ll see you tomorrow?”
“Okay, see you then.” I gave him a little wave as he was leaving, and Della gave him a big grin. As soon as he was out of earshot, she wasted no time teasing me again. “Oh, or maybe you do like someone besides Clay?”
“In his dreams,” I said, looking out to where the man was almost to the end of the long hallway back up front. “I’m just helping his son. He’s made such good progress, and if he gets discouraged, it could really hinder him.”
“Mhm, well, I won’t be mad if he asks you and you accept. So, don’t think that just because you turned the matchmaking down that I won’t be thrilled for you.”
“Good to know.”
“Well, good, but I hate to follow up with bad news, but I’m working tomorrow. My father has a land developer coming in to talk about expansion, and I promised I’d entertain them both.”
“Oh no, I forgot you said he might come in.”
“Yeah, so looks like you’re going to have to ask Clay to watch him.”
All of the air left me as my shoulders slumped. “Dammit. I don’t want to talk to him.”
“Oh yes, you do. You want to forgive him, so you may as well get it over with.”
“That’s not true. Whose side are you on?”
