Him

by Carey Heywood

  A couple of the dresses I refuse to show them. One is just way too low cut in the front, and I feel uncomfortable in it. The other is cute but too tight in the top, and I can't move my arms in it either. When I show them the next outfit, I take out the second dress to see if Sawyer can find it one size up. The fourth outfit I try on is my favorite so far, a stretchy charcoal pencil skirt and a striped tank top. Sawyer starts complaining that she wanted the gray skirt to go with some see-through top and the striped tank to go with a sequined micro mini. I laugh at her because there is no way I'll wear either of those combos.

  She grumbles about my lack of fashion sense and stalks off in search of that dress in a larger size.

  "I like what you're wearing." Jared smiles up at me.

  "Apparently, I'm not showing enough skin."

  He shakes his head. "Let her pick out crazy shoes for you, and she'll be fine."

  I laugh. He’s right, and he knows it. It makes me wonder how many times Sawyer has dragged him out shopping over the years. When she comes back, I take his advice and end up with the outfit I like and a pair of hot pink cowboy boots. We pick up dinner on the way home and hang out around the coffee table to eat. Caleb joins us a few minutes later, squeezing in between Sawyer and me on the couch.

  "What'd the doctor say?" Jared asks.

  "Might be able to get the cast off a week early."

  Sawyer makes a face. "Bummer they couldn’t take it off today."

  Caleb laughs and pulls her towards him for a kiss. "You can barely handle me one handed."

  Her mouth drops, and she smacks his stomach. "You're lucky you’re cute."

  "Just cute?" he asks in mock horror.

  She rolls her eyes and eats a French fry.

  After dinner, we get ready in Caleb's room and bathroom while Jared and Caleb watch TV. Sawyer flat irons her hair, and I curl mine. I let her do my makeup and mentally remind myself to wash my face before I go to bed today so I don’t end up looking like a raccoon in the morning. Sawyer ended up buying the silver sequined mini and paired it with a black tank and boots. We do a couple of shots with Caleb before putting on our coats and heading out. There’s a coat check at the club so we don’t have to worry about finding a place to stash our winter coats.

  Sawyer pulls me right out onto the dance floor, Jared and Caleb following us. Sawyer and Caleb basically make out the whole time while Jared and I dance. He’s a good dancer, and the music is so loud there we can’t really talk. He stands behind me, hands on my hips, my back to his chest. He doesn’t try and feel me up, and since he’s there, no one else tries to dance with me. I like him. I do, just as a friend. After a few songs, we stop to all get drinks and cool off. When we’re standing at the bar, a guy asks me if I want to dance. Jared stops him and says I’m with him.

  After that guy leaves, I ask him about it.

  "Sorry. That guy's a tool, but there are some cool guys here if you want me to introduce you to any of them."

  I smile. "No, that's okay. I was just curious."

  "You're a nice girl, Sarah."

  "Thanks. Where'd that come from?"

  "I love Sawyer, but she's crazy. I didn’t know what to expect from you."

  "I can be a little crazy," I joke and take a sip of my drink.

  "Nah, you're a cool chick. Seeing you all excited after your meetings was cool."

  I blush. I was practically jumping up and down after my first meeting.

  "Sawyer needs a friend like you." He looks over at her making out with Caleb. "Someone with common sense."

  "I don’t know if I have—"

  He cuts me off. "You do. Trust me."

  We finish our drinks and dance some more. After that, Jared introduces me to some people he knows. We all end up leaving the club and going over to one of their houses. It's a beautiful craftsman-style home. It's too dark out to tell, but I have a feeling it has some sweet mountain views. Everyone is hanging out in the finished basement. Someone breaks out a joint, and it’s passed around the room. I decline, and Jared grins at me, surprising me by also passing. I kinda figured he was a pothead.

  "You don’t smoke?"

  He shakes his head. "Makes me lazy."

  I laugh. I've only gotten high a couple of times. "I get hungry and paranoid. Not fun."

  "Want to play pool?"

  He racks the balls, and I break. .We both laugh at how little the balls move. Jared sets them back up and makes me go again. This try is better. A couple of balls go in, and I call solids.

  ~*~

  The next morning, I cringe when I look in the mirror. Yep. Forgot to wash my face last night, or more accurately, this morning when we got home from the party. We were all so tired I didn’t even wait for Jared to fold out the bed, just crashed on the sofa instead. I normally wait for Jared to get up before I use his bathroom, but I really have to go. It feels weird walking past him as he sleeps. I jump when I hear him knock on the door. I dry my face and open the door.

  "Hey, can I?" Jared motions into the bathroom.

  "Of course." I move past him and back into the living room.

  I'm making a pot of coffee when he comes out of his room. I laugh at how bleary-eyed he looks, and he shrugs. It's funny how much Jared reminds me of Brian. He just has this easy-going way about him. Ever since he offered to introduce me to guys, I've felt more comfortable around him. Not that I want to meet guys, but he wouldn’t have made that offer if he was interested in me. It'd be nice to have a guy friend again, and I can see him being that for me. We have our coffee and eat breakfast. Neither of us are shocked that Sawyer and Caleb don’t make it out of Caleb's room until two hours later. We're watching a reality TV marathon on MTV.

  "Those cats are mental," Caleb says, looking at the TV.

  "But entertaining." I grin.

  "Fair enough," he says, sitting down.

  Jared gets up to get a drink. "Anyone want to go tubing tonight?"

  "Like sledding?" I ask.

  "Exactly. They’ve got a night run like thirty minutes from here."

  "I'm game," Sawyer says from the kitchen.

  "Still want to go boarding tomorrow too, right?"

  I nod while Sawyer says. "Hell yeah."

  Caleb sits on the couch, looking at his cast. Sawyer sees his pout and sits in his lap.

  "Can you go tubing?" she asks.

  He nods and laughs as she shimmies in his lap and says, "SWEET!"

  After we all eat lunch, I borrow Jared's laptop to email documents to the couple from the first day. They run a wellness center, focusing on helping people find balance. They offer mainly yoga-based fitness classes, diet counseling, and meditation clinics. They have a staff of ten part-time and full-time employees and are setting up individual 401Ks for each. I use a draft file in my email to save all the documents I use on a regular basis. I email them everything they need to set up their accounts. They’re going to use a managed service with a wire house to manage the investment options for the relationship. Each employee will have the ultimate decision in what funds they select for their individual account.

  I send the email with times that I’ll be available to come in the day before our flight leaves. One unique service I provide is being there in person for all of the paperwork. These plans can be complex and overwhelming. It’s my job to make that process as smooth and stress free as possible. If they’re able to meet with me before I leave, I won’t have to deal with booking another flight out. Any savings I can manage just increase my profit. I’m supporting myself, which I’m really proud of considering I’m my own boss, but I’m not raking in excess cash either.

  Caleb and Jared leave to go pick up a new board Jared had ordered from a local board shop. Sawyer and I stay back. I feel like I’ve barely had a chance to talk to her alone the whole time we’ve been in Colorado.

  "So things seem to be going well with Caleb."

  Sawyer blushes. She never blushes. "Things are amazing with Caleb."

  "That's great," I say, givin
g her a hug.

  "I know. I actually wanted to run something by you." She hesitates.

  "Okay?" I push her knee.

  "I'm thinking about moving out here, and I want you to come with me."

  My mouth drops open.

  "I know it sounds crazy, Sarah, but think about it. What is keeping us in Trenton? Your uncle moved to Florida last year, and you had two really good meetings here."

  "I don’t know," I stammer.

  She stands and starts pacing back and forth in front of me, counting off on her fingers all of the reasons she thinks we should move out here.

  I laugh when wanting to see what Caleb can do with both hands makes the list and argue. "That reason has zero impact for me."

  "True, but I know for a fact Jared likes you so that can be your romance reason."

  I groan. "Sawyer, Jared is hot. I get that. And he seems like a really nice guy, but I don’t like him that way."

  Her brows push together. "Is it because of Will?"

  I let my head fall back onto the sofa and look up at the ceiling. I hate how shaky my voice sounds when I say, "He’s just a tough act to follow, I guess."

  She comes to sit next to me and shakes my knee. I turn my head to look at her, my eyes wet.

  "Maybe if you live someplace new, someplace you didn’t run away to, you will get over him."

  She does have a point there. It’s been over four years since I had moved to New Jersey, but even now if I drive past the train station or Jake's old apartment, I think back to the day I ran away. Sawyer’s right. Now that my uncle lives in Florida, there’s nothing keeping me in Trenton.

  I close my eyes and take a deep breath. "Let's do it."

  She grabs both of my shoulders and gets right in my face, almost nose to nose. "Really?"

  I nod.

  She pulls me forward into a bear hug as she jumps up and down on the sofa. I laugh and push her off of me. She gets up and happy dances in front of the coffee table. I'm shaking my head, watching her when Caleb and Jared walk back in. Jared looks at me, and I shrug. I can't explain the crazy that is Sawyer. She sees Caleb behind him, grabs his hand, and she pulls him into his room, shutting the door behind them.

  "What was that all about?" Jared asks, carrying his new board into his room.

  I get up and follow him. "I think we're moving to Colorado."

  His back is to me as he leans his new board in the corner of his room. He pauses before turning to face me. He's grinning, and I yelp when he pulls me into a hug. Maybe if I live here and get to know him better, I can like Jared as more than a friend. For now, I still need time. My body tenses in his arms. I cringe when he notices and drops his arms.

  He takes a step back from me and scratches the back of his head. "That's cool."

  "I'm not sure when, or how, or where we'll live. We just talked about it right before you and Caleb got back," I ramble.

  Jared sits on the edge of his bed. "Relax, Sarah. Let Sawyer figure all of that stuff out. That girl is an expert at moving."

  He motions for me to sit down, patting the spot next to him on the bed. I shrug and sit down next to him. He turns his body towards mine, motioning with his finger for me to turn my back to him.

  "Why are you so tense?" he asks, his hands rubbing my shoulders.

  "Don’t know," I mumble.

  I sit quietly as he massages my neck and shoulders but tense when his hands move further down my back. I roll my eyes when I hear him chuckling behind me.

  "What?" I turn my head.

  "You are like one giant knot."

  "Why's that funny?"

  "It isn't, but the ways I was thinking about getting you to chill out were."

  I hunch my shoulders, which makes him laugh even more.

  "Fine," I snap. "How would you get me to relax?"

  "Hot tub."

  "But it's freezing outside," I stammer.

  "Our complex has an indoor pool and hot tub."

  "Oh, doesn’t matter. I didn’t bring a suit."

  He tugs on my bra strap through my shirt. "Wear this."

  I think about it for a moment. "Any other ideas?"

  "You could wear nothing."

  "Ha! You're funny. I meant any ideas other than the hot tub."

  He takes his hands off my back and lies back on his bed. "I don’t see you going for any of my other ideas. Besides, after we go tubing tonight, you'll be all for chilling out in the hot tub. If you're worried about not having a suit, I can run you over to the mall right now."

  I stand, stretching my arms up over my head. My muscles do feel more relaxed. "Thanks for the shoulder rub. You don’t have to take me anywhere. I'll be fine with stuff I brought."

  I turn to walk out of his room, and he calls out for me to stop.

  I look back at him. "Yeah?"

  "You can hang out with me in here."

  I look around. There isn’t really anywhere to sit besides his bed. "You look like you're about to take a nap."

  He yawns. "Dude, late night last night. Aren't you tired?"

  I am. I’m thinking about curling up on the sofa myself. "I am."

  "Why don’t you lay down in here?"

  He laughs at the expression on my face. "No pressure. I'll keep my hands to myself. That couch is uncomfortable. You could sleep in here."

  "With you?"

  "Just sleep, Sarah."

  I wrinkle my nose. "I don’t know."

  He gets up and tugs me back over to the bed. "Look, Sarah. I think you're cute. I'd like to be your friend. I won't try anything."

  I lie down, facing the ceiling. He walks into the living room and grabs the blanket I have been using and covers me with it. I yawn and turn onto my side. He lies down next to me, leaving plenty of space between us, and closes his eyes. I look at him for a little bit before I fall asleep. The last thing I remember thinking is if I'll feel something for someone other than Will.

  Chapter 27

  Present

  Will's hand is on my leg as we drive to the airport. Once he was done packing, we got the guest bedroom of his house all set for Sawyer before he spoke with his mother again. I waited in his car while he explained to her Sawyer was coming to stay with her for the time he would be with me in Colorado. He had made her dinner after he talked to her, and then we went to my parents’ house to have dinner with them and my uncle Chip. My parents were thrilled Will and I are together. It was strange, but since they see him more than me, it felt like they were happier for him. It’s like they all know how important this is to him. My uncle had pulled me aside after dinner. He’s the only member of my family who knows how messed up I was over Will the last time.

  He was cautiously happy for us. He just didn’t want to ever see me hurt again. I had smacked his arm when he joked he had a spare bedroom in Florida if I ever needed it. Running had been my M.O. when it came to Will for so long. I’m scared by how fast everything is happening but also recognize that while it feels fast it has also been a long time coming. It feels like we’re meant to be together. If we weren’t, one of us would have moved on by now. I put my hand on top of his and squeeze it. His eyes flick to mine, and he smiles. I know he's stressed out over this whole thing with his mom. He wants to be angry at her for the part she played in my leaving, but she's his mom. I respect that about him. Will is the type of guy that does the right thing no matter what the situation.

  We check the arrivals display once we're in the airport. Sawyer's flight had landed ahead of schedule so we hurry over to baggage claim to look for her. I spot her cotton candy pink hair from across the floor and run over to hug her.

  "Hey, babe." She laughs, dropping her bag to hug me back.

  I pull away to look at her. "Thank you so much for this. I just…" I can't finish without crying.

  "Please, it's nothing." She pauses and squints at me. "Getting laid looks good on you, babe."

  I blush and shush her as Will walks up to us. Her mouth drops when she gets a good look at him. He holds out his
hand, and she pushes it away and gives him a hug instead.

  When he isn’t looking, she mouths, "He's hot" at me.

  Will looks at me when I laugh so I stick my tongue out at him and grin.

  Sawyer lets Will carry her bags and links her arm through mine as we walk to his car. "I'm not sure if I've ever seen you look this happy, Sarah."

  I shrug and look back at Will to see if he heard her. He meets my eyes and winks at me, grinning. I offer the front seat to Sawyer, but she refuses and climbs into the backseat.

  "Before I forget, here's my parking ticket," she says, passing me a slip of paper. Since Will and I will be arriving the next day in Colorado, she had just driven to the airport and left her car there. That way, we can just use her car instead of getting a cab. The cost of overnight parking isn’t that bad.

  Sawyer grills Will about us and his mother most of the way back to his house. I freeze when she asks a question I have always wanted to know the answer to.

  "Why didn’t you go after Sarah when she went to New Jersey?"

  He glances over at me when he feels me tense under his hand. "I did."

  My mouth drops. "What?"

  He nods, eyes on the road. "I was a wreck after you left. My dad almost canceled the trip to Italy, but my mom talked him out of it. I barely remember the trip. I was in this fog of worrying about what happened to you." His fingers tighten on the wheel. "You just disappeared, and Brian wouldn’t tell me right away where you went. I didn’t even know you went to your uncle's until after I got back. The day I found out, I drove up there. I had to stop and stay in a shitty motel on the way ‘cause there was construction happening on some bridge, and it took forever to get over it. I just couldn’t wait to see you, to hold you, to bring you back with me. I didn’t know why you left, but I knew I could get you to come back. When I got to your uncle's place, no one was home. I just sat in my car and waited for like two hours. I was just thinking about driving to get some food when I saw you pull up with some guy in a truck." He pauses, chewing his lip before going on. "You were laughing. You both got out of the truck and walked around to the back to take out a giant stuffed monkey."