Truth or Lies?

by A. Gomez

  I couldn’t stop sobbing to answer him. I wanted to tell him it was never his fault. I wanted to say I was stupid for not being more understanding but I couldn’t stop crying. I just held him tight, breathing in his scent. How could I miss him this much? Why did I want him so badly? What was this spell he had over me? I hardly knew him.

  “Baby, you’re shaking. It’s okay. I’m oaky. You’re here now and that’s all that matters. Calm down. He let go of me so he could look at me. I gazed at him, drinking him in, touching his face, his lips, his stubble. I kissed him with fervor, still crying. He held me close, kissing me harder. Devouring me. I felt that electric zing racing through my body; the oh so familiar heat from that first morning with him on my sofa.

  He pulled away, gazing at me and then began to kiss my tears away with his lips.

  I blinked a few times and inhaled deeply. “Josh,” I began with a trembling voice. “Please forgive me. I should’ve stopped to listen to you. My pride and ego got in the way. I’m so sorry, my love.” I wrapped my arms around his neck again. He pulled me closer, holding me firmly against his chest. “Belín showed me everything. I know who those girls are. If it weren’t for her, I wouldn’t be here. Say you’ll forgive me.”

  “Baby, there is nothing to forgive. You’re here now. We’re together,” he replied, kissing the side of my neck. He paused briefly, pulling away to look at me, cocking his head to one side. “Did I just hear you say, ‘my love?’” he asked. “Yes, I believe you did say, ‘my love,’ to me,” he grinned. “Does that mean you love me?”

  The tears stopped rolling down my cheeks. “Umm...” is all I could say, raising my eyebrows.

  “It's okay, baby. I can wait,” he said with a grin. He kissed me, our tongues colliding, my breathing ragged, his hands running up my back and mine entangled in his hair. I finally stopped crying. “Josh,” I said as I pulled away. “Babe, stop. I have so many things to tell you and I’m running out of time.”

  “I don’t want to stop,” he whispered, breathless. “I feel better with you in my arms.”

  “Babe, that’s just it.” I grabbed his face to stop him. “I’m not supposed to be here and I’m not allowed to see you.”

  He began to kiss my neck. “I already know that,” he said in between bites and kisses. “But you’re here. You made it happen.”

  “There’s more I need to tell you, Josh, but you’re getting me all hot and bothered,” I pushed myself away. “I’m leaving for Dallas at the end of today.”

  “I know that too. Now come back here.” He reached for my arm and pulled me to him.

  “You do?” I was surprised.

  “Baby, there’s nothing you can tell me that I don’t already know.” His hands were on my hips, squeezing me. He stroked my cheek with the back of his hand, stealing a chaste kiss in between my talking.

  “Really? How?” I asked.

  “Your mother,” he simply said. “Your wonderful, loving and considerate mother. She sent your brother and cousin bearing gifts and a belated birthday card.” Without letting me go, he reached for the tray table getting the card my mother sent him, his face contorting from the bullet wound pain on his side. “And by the way, you and your cousin could be twins. You two even have the same green eyes,” he added.

  “That seems to be the consensus these days,” I said.

  He handed me a large blue card. On the front in big, gold print it read “Happy Belated Birthday.” I opened it and there was my mother’s exquisite handwriting.

  My Dear Sweet Boy,

  I am so grateful for you and your valor. You took great care

  of one of my greatest treasures on this earth, my little girl.

  There is no way for me to repay what you have done for her

  and our family. I know you care for Isabel Grace so I am giving

  you my personal cell number. Please call me and I will be happy to talk to you about anything …within reason of course.

  Yours, Dr. C. Langley

  It looked like a cell number was at the very bottom of the card, however the numbers were scratched out. I could somewhat see it was her number. Somehow, I wasn’t surprised. Well, this explained all those phone calls my mother was getting and why she was constantly on the phone.

  “Why did you scratch the number out?” I asked.

  “I didn’t want anyone else to have her number. She did say it was her personal cell number so I memorized it and got rid of the evidence.” He took the card from me and held my hand. “I called her every hour we were apart, multiple times within that hour at times. She took every one of my calls and answered all my questions. Most of the time, I didn’t have to ask anything. She would just give me an update of what was happening.” He pulled me closer, wrapping his arms around my back. “She saved me, you know. I was having trouble recovering from the bullet wound. So much so that the doctor was thinking of taking me back to ICU. But then your family walked in and saved me.” He took my hands, kissed them both and then placed them on his shoulders. “Once I started talking with your mother I felt relief, I felt hope, she encouraged me to have patience with you. So, I listened and just kept calling her. She brought me back from despair. She was right,” he said with a grin. “You’re here now and I’m never letting you go.”

  I placed my hands on his face, feeling the roughness of his sandpapery stubble, I kissed him gently on each of his eyes and then whispered in his ear, “You have to shave for me if you want me to keep kissing you. I feel like my face is bleeding.”

  He laughed. “I will do whatever you want, baby. I do have to call the nurse for that, however. I’m having trouble lifting my arm because of the pain.”

  “I know what you mean.” I rubbed my left arm unthinkingly.

  “That’s right, I heard you got shot in the arm,” he said as he kissed my wound. “I’m glad it wasn’t anything worse. Hey, why don’t you come down for lunch and you can help me shave?” He sounded enthusiastic.

  “Sadly, I can’t, I don’t know how I can manage another lie to Ben today…plus I have to meet David for lunch.”

  His expression quickly turned serious, asking, “Why would you need to do anything at all with that cocksucker?!”

  “I thought you said you knew everything?”

  “I haven’t spoken with your mother today…yet, so this is news to me.”

  “Okay, so, what do you know about David?” I asked.

  “The Bureau thinks someone around him or close to him tried to kill you by overdose.” I could see the anguish twist his expression. “So, they’re watching him and those around him.”

  I gathered that’s all my mother told him. I didn’t want to undo all the work she’d done with him so I didn’t react. She’s a good psychologist and I’d always told her to go back into practice instead of teaching. But she always answered the same way… “What? And miss seeing my students’ fresh and eager faces?” She had always preached the importance of mental health and how it can also affect the healing process in an illness or a physical injury. I wanted Josh to recover without complications but if I didn’t tell him everything, he might not forgive me a second time if he discovered the truth.

  I placed my hands on his face, kissing his lips gently and inhaling his scent before I began. “Josh,” I said, between kisses. “Ben suggested that if I were David’s love interest then perhaps that could lead them to the possible Triad member in the hospital.” I stopped kissing him to see his reaction. “So, David thinks we’re a couple and I told him I may be able to have lunch with him today.”

  Josh didn’t react. He just kept gazing at me. He pulled me to his chest and began to kiss my neck, jaw and behind my ear. My pulse quickened and my breath caught in my chest. I pressed my lips against his, parting his lips and filling his mouth with my tongue. He greedily took it, sucking and gently tugging. He hastily shoved his wet tongue in my mouth. I entangled my fingers in his messy hair, pressing my body closer to his. I could feel his erection against my navel and groin.
I wanted him. I wanted him inside of me. He started to groan a painful groan and held his side.

  I pulled away. “Josh,” I said, in a panic, “what’s wrong?”

  “I’m fine, don’t worry.” He was leaning back in bed, raising his legs. “It’s just my wound, the pain meds must be wearing off.”

  I covered him and fluffed his pillows, relieved it was nothing serious. I gingerly climbed into bed with him, taking care I didn’t jostle him or move the bed too much. He opened his good arm to let me lay on his rock-hard chest. As he turned his head to smell my hair, I peeked up at him and kissed his sandpapery chin. I sighed thinking I didn’t know if I could act like I was interested in David.

  “Joshua?” My voice was quiet.

  “Hm…”

  “You didn’t react one way or the other when I told you about David. Are you all right with it?”

  “No, of course I’m not all right with it. I hate how he looks at you and the thought of him touching you in any fashion makes me want to shoot him.” His voice was menacing. “But, your mother did explain, in detail, what had happened to you…” He trailed off, his arm gripping me tighter. “…and I trust Davis to make the right decision.” He sounded helpless.

  “So, you understand that I have no feelings for him?” I placed my hand on his chest. He quickly held it there in place. “You understand that, don’t you?”

  “Yes, baby, I understand. Don’t worry about me, I know you love me,” I could feel his grin on my forehead as he was kissing me. I was so comfortable in his warm arms, listening to his heartbeat, watching his chest rise with his breathing, it was lulling me to sleep.

  “Josh,” I said in a sleepy voice, “don’t let me go to sleep. I have to leave in a few minutes.”

  “Shh, baby, don’t leave me just yet.” He was kissing the top of my head, his voice low and soft. “Stay a little longer. I promise I’ll wake you in fifteen minutes. Just let me hold you for a few more minutes.” I barely nodded, already drifting off into a delicious sleep.

  18

  I woke up to a knocking noise. I looked up. Josh was fast asleep. Well, so much for fifteen minutes. I heard Belín calling my name through the door. I gingerly got out of bed and ran to the door to open it. She came in frowning at me.

  “What happened to you? It’s been an hour!” She was irate.

  “I’m sorry, Belín, we both feel asleep without knowing it.”

  “Asleep!” she chided. “You get everyone to lie and sneak around so you two can sleep?!”

  “Shh, he’s still sleeping,” I snapped. “Let me get my purse and we can go.” I went over to the chair to fetch my purse. I gazed at Josh’s handsome, sleeping face and gave him one last kiss on his lips before I left. I didn’t want to leave but I had to push myself.

  “Give me just one minute so I can leave him a note,” I said.

  “Okay, but hurry.”

  I got the card my mother sent and wrote a couple short sentences. I stood the card upright so he’d know to read it and placed it on the tray table. I rolled the tray table in front of him so he wouldn’t miss it.

  We walked at a fast pace back to the stairs. All the lights in the hallway were on. The hospital was starting to wake up. I glanced at my watch. It was six fifty. Almost time for rounds. A few doctors were already starting but no one I knew, thank goodness.

  We got to the stairs, trying our best to race up two flights. It was definitely easier running down two flights. We arrived at our floor and walked back to the kitchenette where Belín and Brenda were waiting for me. Brenda was back at the front desk starting her day. Other technicians and nurses were starting to arrive. Belín was gathering our jackets when I caught her staring at me.

  “What?” I demand.

  “You look like you just woke up,” she said, still staring at me. “Did you bring your press powder and blush?”

  “I think so,” I replied, digging into my purse. “Whew, got it!” And I pulled it out. I went looking for a mirror so I could fix my face and hair. I noticed my lips looked a bit red and swollen from kissing Josh, so I put on some lip gloss as well. I turned to Belín for her approval.

  “Much better,” she declared.

  I quickly put everything back in my purse and got my jacket on so Ben wouldn’t notice we were dressed alike.

  “Did you notice or see any female agents while I was away?” I asked.

  “Actually, I forgot to pay attention,” she answered with a glance at me and grinning. “Brenda and I were having the best conversation. I learned she has traveled the globe more than I have. Her husband was once in the Navy for many years, so that accounts for all her traveling. They have twin daughters in high school. She loves working here and meeting new people and she thinks you’re the kindest doctor in this hospital.” Belín hooked her arm with mine as we walked, and she finished, “And no, it’s not because you gave her those tickets, she truly believes you care about everyone’s feelings.”

  I have always admired how she always manages to get people to open up to her or give her their life story. I suppose that’s what made her a good journalist.

  “Belín, I think you have chemistry with everyone you meet,” I told her.

  We got to the waiting area and I could see my mother sipping her coffee while Ben seemed to be very animated in his conversation with her. It also looked like they were sharing a box of pastries. I knew my mother was good at getting people to open up.

  “Hey, y’all,” I greeted them. “We’re all done here.”

  “Honey… Belín… so soon?” my mother sounded surprised. “Ben was just telling me about how he got into medical school and then the FBI… and get this… we know a lot of the same doctors!” She seemed excited. “It really is a small world.”

  I glanced at Ben; he was wearing a big smile too. Go figure, he actually enjoyed talking with my mother.

  “So, Belín and I are starving and we thought we could all go out to eat before I have to get to work.” I turned to Ben for permission, “Is that okay, Ben? It can be anywhere you think is safe.”

  “I think that should be fine,” he agreed.

  We headed to the elevators. Everyone seemed to be in a good mood. I breathed a sigh of relief. The elevator doors opened and there was David, in his white lab coat, stethoscope around his neck, staring straight at us. FUCK! I screamed in my head as we stepped in. Here came the twenty questions.

  “Hey,” he chimed. “What a pleasant surprise! Almost the entire family… and Agent Davis. What is everyone doing here so early?”

  “David, sweetie, what are you doing here?” I deflected. “You told me you weren’t going to be in until later today and we should have an early lunch.” I was trying to sound suspicious. “Are you lying to me? Again?”

  My mother eyed me, her lips twitching, trying not to grin. She gave me a wink and nodded her head, as if she were saying good job.

  “NO! Honey, no, not at all!” David was getting flustered, his eyes darting between my mother and me. “I was paged. Doctor Rodriguez is out sick and they needed me to help cover her rounds, that’s all.” He clasped my hands in between his, kissing them.

  “Did you say rounds?” I asked, panic setting in. “But she’s a surgeon and you’re not,” I exclaimed.

  “Yes, but it’s just rounds on the patients she already operated on. It’s not surgery.”

  Doctor Rodriguez was Josh’s surgeon and in the next few minutes David was about to check on Josh and his wound. My heart started pounding. How could I possibly stop this from happening?

  I discretely turned to my mother and whispered, “Help!” The elevator pinged; it was the fourteenth floor, Josh’s floor. The doors opened, David turned to kiss me good-bye. I reacted and grabbed his arm.

  “David, wait.” I clasped his hand and wrapped it around my waist. “Do you have to do your rounds now?” I kissed his cheek. “Can it wait just a bit? We can have breakfast together downstairs and then later meet again for lunch if we’re not too busy. W
ill you do that for me?”

  He smiled, “I’m sure I can make that happen,” he answered, kissing me on the cheek.

  “Fantastic!” I turned to my mother, “Mom, David and I are going to eat in the cafeteria downstairs, the one closest to the ER.” I eyed Ben as I mentioned the location. “So why don’t y’all go ahead with your plans for breakfast, that way you can make that very important, daily phone call to your friend, Mom, and I can meet everyone back in my office in about forty-five minutes.” I glanced at David, “Does that sound good to you, David?”

  “Yeah, that works,” he said.

  “Sweetheart,” my mother started, “I really need some privacy for this call so if it’s all right with you, I’m going to use your office.” She reached to push the button for the fifteenth floor, “Ben, you and Belín go on ahead and I’ll meet y’all once I’m finished.”

  “Doctor Langley, I wouldn’t be much of a gentleman if I let you go by yourself. Belín and I don’t mind accompanying you and waiting.”

  “Bless your sweet heart, Ben,” she cooed, patting his cheek and smiling at him. “I’ll be fine. I insist y’all go on without me. I’ll try to make it as quick as I can.” She walked out of the elevator putting the phone to her ear.

  “Now that that’s settled,” David began, “Er…Isabel, my love, we just need to make a quick pit stop at the ER so I can leave this paperwork with the nurses.” David eyed me, waiting for a reaction. Ginger must be there.

  “Of course,” I said sweetly. “As long as you hold my hand.” I glanced at Ben wanting to see if he approved of my acting abilities. He looked at us impassively. Belín was smiling at his side.

  They took the elevator down with us. Everyone was silent, looking nervously at other things in the elevator rather than one other. The elevator pinged, prompting Belín to come over to me and kiss me good-bye on both cheeks. She whispered in my ear that I was doing great. I smiled in response. David and I walked out first, still holding hands. I turned my head to see where they were going and they’d disappeared. My nerves were beginning to set in, squeezing David’s hand in response. He gripped my hand tighter and kissed it. I tried not to react.