The Case of the Lovable Labs

by B R Snow

  The Case of the

  Lovable Labs

  A Thousand Islands Doggy Inn Mystery

  B.R. Snow

  This book is a work of fiction. Names, characters, places and events are either used fictitiously or are the product of the author’s imagination. All rights reserved, including the right to reproduce this book, or portions thereof, in any form. No part of this text may be reproduced, transmitted, downloaded, decompiled, or stored in or introduced into any information storage and retrieval system, in any form by any means, whether electronic or mechanical without the express written consent of the author. The scanning, uploading, and distribution of this book via the Internet or any other means without the permission of the publisher are illegal and punishable by law.

  Copyright © 2017 B.R. Snow

  ISBN: 978-1-942691-34-1

  Website: www.brsnow.net/

  Twitter:@BernSnow

  Facebook: facebook.com/bernsnow

  Cover Design: Reggie Cullen

  Cover Photo: James R. Miller

  Other Books by B.R. Snow

  The Thousand Islands Doggy Inn Mysteries

  The Case of the Abandoned Aussie

  The Case of the Brokenhearted Bulldog

  The Case of the Caged Cockers

  The Case of the Dapper Dandie Dinmont

  The Case of the Eccentric Elkhound

  The Case of the Faithful Frenchie

  The Case of the Graceful Goldens

  The Case of the Hurricane Hounds

  The Case of the Itinerant Ibizan

  The Case of the Jaded Jack Russell

  The Case of the Klutzy King Charles

  The Whiskey Run Chronicles

  Episode 1 – The Dry Season Approaches

  Episode 2 – Friends and Enemies

  Episode 3 – Let the Games Begin

  Episode 4 – Enter the Revenuer

  Episode 5 – A Changing Landscape

  Episode 6 – Entrepreneurial Spirits

  Episode 7 – All Hands On Deck

  The Whiskey Run Chronicles – The Complete Volume 1

  The Damaged Posse

  American Midnight

  Larrikin Gene

  Sneaker World

  Summerman

  The Duplicates

  Other Books

  Divorce Hotel

  Either Ore

  To all the animal rescue centers in Texas and Florida

  Amazing work performed by amazing people

  Chapter 1

  “We should have just eloped.”

  From the comfort of my seat at the bar, I glanced up at Sammy and felt genuine sympathy for him. Obviously exhausted, he sat down next to me and rubbed his forehead as he stared at the bottles that were backlit and gleaming on three levels of glass shelves that stretched the length of the bar. I patted his hand and waved to Millie, our new head bartender, who approached and gave Sammy a small, sad smile. I motioned for her to pour Sammy a glass of the wine I was drinking.

  “I can’t take it,” he said, shaking his head. “My best man is hitting on every woman with a pulse, our families hate each other, Jill’s sister is totally out of control, and you need a scorecard to keep track of who’s dating who.”

  “Yeah, that part was giving me a headache,” I said, taking a sip of wine. “The dating tree thing.”

  “I had to get out of there for a while,” Sammy said, glancing back into the dining room.

  “Hang in there,” I said. “In a couple of days this will all be over, and you’ll be honeymooning in the Caribbean.”

  I snuck a peek into the dining room where the tables had been arranged in a long rectangle and set for fifty. What had started out as a small rehearsal dinner had morphed into a massive celebration for family and friends. As soon as Sammy and Jill had made the decision to expand the guest list just a bit, the floodgates had opened, and rather than run the risk of hurting anyone’s feelings, they’d decided to cast the invitation net wide. And instead of trying to juggle regular dinner guests along with the large group, we’d finally decided to close the restaurant to the general public for the evening. Now, the dining room housed a diverse collection of people connected in some way to the bride and groom; our two favorite and most valuable staff members at the Doggy Inn.

  “Uh-oh,” I said, laughing. “Grumpy bride alert.”

  Sammy turned and noticed Jill heading straight for him. She wasn’t happy, but I wasn’t sure if Sammy was the target of her anger. Apparently, he wasn’t either and not taking any chances.

  “Hey, Sweetie,” he cooed, pulling the barstool next to him back.

  “Yeah, whatever,” she said, not sitting down. “We should have just eloped.”

  “Tell me about it,” Sammy said. “What am I missing?”

  “My mother is regaling everyone with my life story,” Jill said, shaking her head. “When I got up from the table, I’d just turned ten and was getting ready to head off to summer camp.”

  “Brutal,” I said, frowning. “Can we get you a drink?”

  “No, thanks,” Jill said. “We need to get back in there. As soon as my mother wraps up, they’re going to serve dessert and start the toasts.”

  I nodded, drained my wine, and shrugged at Millie. She grinned and gave us a finger-wave as we headed back into the dining room. I sat down next to Josie who was tight-lipped and toying with her wine glass.

  “What happened? Did they catch you at the border?” she whispered.

  “What?”

  “Your escape. Foiled, right?”

  “I never made it past the bar,” I said, laughing. “What did I miss?”

  “Just Mr. Hands sitting next to me,” she whispered. “He seems to think my thigh is some sort of armrest.”

  “He’s lucky he didn’t try that while you were eating,” I said.

  “You got that right,” she said.

  “Who is he again?” I said, frowning as I tried to remember.

  “Don’t you ever pay attention? He’s the best man,” she said, shaking her head. “And if he’s the best that’s out there, we’re both in a lot of trouble.”

  “I’m sure it’s just an honorary title,” I said.

  “Where were you, darling?”

  I turned to my mother who was sitting on my left.

  “I had to go over a few things with Millie in the bar,” I said, lying through my teeth.

  “Of course, you did,” she said, raising an eyebrow at me. “And you didn’t have the decency to take me with you?”

  “It can’t be that bad,” I said, glancing around the table and trying to remember what I’d been told during introductions. “But you better catch me up.”

  “Well, let’s see,” my mother said, nodding at Jill’s mother who was sitting directly across from us, but at least fifteen feet away. “The mother is currently dating the hammered guy sitting on her right.”

  “Who’s he?”

  “He’s the ex-best friend of her and her ex-husband,” my mother said, a small smile etched on her face.

  It was the smile she brought out for town council meetings and other occasions whenever her patience was being tested or when she’d rather be anywhere else. And sometimes, like right now, both.

  “The ex-husband being Jill’s dad,” I said, glancing down the table at him.

  “Of course,” she said, nodding as she sipped her wine.

  “Then why didn’t you just say Jill’s dad?”

  “I’m trying to keep the poor girl’s name out of it,” my mother said with a small shrug. “I can’t believe those two produced such a wonderful young woman.”

  “Yeah, people often say the same thing about you and me,” I deadpanned.

  “Funny, darling
.” She surreptitiously pointed at the man sitting next to Jill’s mother. “He was the best man at their wedding.”

  “This just keeps better and better.”

  “Apparently, they started dating right after Jill’s parents split up.”

  “Or maybe before?”

  “Nothing gets past you, darling,” she said, patting my hand. “But he’s been hitting on the woman to his right, one of Sammy’s cousins I think, but Jill’s mother has been making goo-goo eyes with the guy sitting next to Josie for the past half-hour and hasn’t noticed.”

  “The best man? He’s had his hands all over Josie,” I whispered.

  “I’m sure Josie can handle him,” my mother said, then leaned in close and whispered. “Apparently, the mother’s boyfriend has also got a little thing going with Jill’s sister.”

  “Really?” I said, surprised. “The Princess of Darkness?”

  “What?”

  “That’s what Chef Claire and I call her. Josie prefers Beelzebub, so take your pick.”

  “Yes, she does seem to be a particularly annoying woman. Josie told me that she’s taking her maid of honor responsibilities very seriously,” my mother said, laughing.

  “She’s out of her mind,” I said, sneaking a glance down the table at Jill’s sister who was flirting with Freddie, our good friend, and the local medical examiner. “Is the mother’s boyfriend married?”

  “Divorced,” my mother said, taking a sip of wine. “And, obviously, quite the player.”

  “Thanks for the warning. Is his ex-wife here?”

  “No, but she’s supposed to arrive tomorrow,” my mother said, frowning. “She’s Jill’s godmother. At least, I think that’s right. I’m going to need a scorecard to keep it all straight.”

  “This must be driving Jill’s dad nuts,” I said. “His ex-wife and daughter are both sleeping with the guy who used to be his best friend?”

  “And also sleeping with his sister,” my mother said, raising an eyebrow at me and nodding at a woman who was chatting with Jackson, another good friend of ours.

  “Wow,” I said, shaking my head. “I guess the guy likes to keep it in the family. I’m surprised Jill even decided to invite him. This could get ugly.”

  “I don’t think she did,” my mother said. “He’s here as her mother’s plus-one.”

  I glanced down the table where Jill’s father was sitting next to her. He was whispering earnestly in her ear, and she tolerated the one-sided conversation with a blank stare and the occasional nod.

  “I’m sorry,” I said, glancing across the table and focusing on the man sitting next to Jill’s mother. “I couldn’t hear what you said.”

  “I said you two must be sisters,” he said, grinning back and forth at my mother and me.

  “Geez, how old do you think I am?” I deadpanned across the table.

  “Oh, no…that isn’t what I was-”

  “Funny, darling,” my mother snapped, then smiled at him. “You’re too kind, sir.”

  “Oh, please,” he said, playfully waving my mother’s formality away. “Call me, Roger.”

  “Roger it is,” my mother said, then refocused on me. “Have you met Jill’s sister yet?”

  “Just over the phone. We’ve had mandatory conference calls twice a week for the past month,” I said, shaking my head. “She’s a real piece of work.”

  “She seems to have taken a shine to Freddie,” my mother said. “She’s cute. As far as out of control maids of honor go.”

  “We have a meeting with her and Jill tomorrow. Apparently, she wants to make a few last-minute changes.”

  “Changes to what?”

  “I have no idea.”

  “Geez, please tell me you didn’t do that,” Josie said, staring down.

  “I’m so sorry,” the man sitting next to her said, grabbing a napkin and reaching for her lap. “I’m such a klutz.”

  “Thanks,” Josie said, grabbing his hand and stopping it in its tracks. “I think I’ve got it from here.”

  “That’s a lot of wine,” I said, staring down at the massive red stain on her gray slacks. “C’mon, let’s see what we can do about that.”

  “A rather clever ruse to get away, dear,” my mother whispered with a grin.

  “You just wish you’d thought of it, Mom,” I said, standing up. “We’ll be right back.”

  Josie wiped up what she could with her napkin, then tossed it on the table. She followed me toward the ladies’ room. We walked in, and Josie removed her slacks and placed them on the counter next to the sink.

  “Remember to blot, don’t rub,” she said, reaching for the dispenser that contained the paper towels. “What a mess. I just bought these. I’ll never get it all out.”

  “Relax,” I said, waiting for her to hand me some of the towels. “We just need to get working on it before it dries.”

  “Perfect,” she said, shaking her head. “We’re out of paper towels.”

  “Hang on.”

  I headed for the large cedar closet that ran along the back wall of the bathroom. I grabbed my keys from my pocket and unlocked the closet. I stepped inside and searched for paper towels. Moments later, I exited and closed the door and shook my head.

  “There’s none in here. How can we possibly be out of paper towels?”

  “Check next door in the men’s room.”

  “The men’s room?” I said, frowning. “Geez, I don’t know about that.”

  “Don’t be such a baby. Just knock first, and then go in,” Josie said, shaking her head. “C’mon, hurry up. You’re wasting time.”

  “All right. Hold your horses,” I said, heading for the door.

  I knocked on the men’s room door, heard nothing, then poked my head inside. It was empty, and I headed straight for the cedar closet identical to the one in the women’s bathroom. I unlocked it and stepped inside. I grabbed three packets of paper towels then heard the bathroom door open. Before I could make my presence known, the unseen man, whistling to himself, approached one of the urinals. I decided to wait it out and pulled the door closed. I did my best to ignore what was happening only a few feet away from where I was standing. Eventually, I heard the sound of flushing, then the sound of running water. The man turned the water off, continued to whistle as he removed some paper towels from the dispenser to dry his hands. I heard the door open and was just about to leave the closet when I heard him speak. I recognized Roger’s voice immediately and frowned.

  “Wow, look who’s here,” he said. “I’m shocked. But what a nice surprise.”

  I listened closely, but the man’s visitor was whispering, and I couldn’t make out a word she was saying. I worked my head up and down and tried to see through the cedar slats in the door, but they were angled down, and I could only catch the occasional glimpse of their feet.

  “Whoa,” Roger said, laughing. “Really? Here?”

  I pressed my ear against the door, but I could only hear the faint sound of the woman’s whisper.

  “An hour?” Roger said. “Oh, don’t worry. I’ll be there.”

  Then I heard a soft rattle that sounded familiar, but I couldn’t place it.

  “Of course,” Roger said, laughing. “Fresh breath before kissing. How could I forget?”

  I nodded when the rattle finally registered. I pondered the incongruity of the unseen woman’s need to have minty-fresh breath before allowing herself to make out in a germ-infested public restroom. I came up a little short on that one.

  “Whoa,” Roger said. “Getting right to it, huh? You and your magic tongue.” Then he softly gagged and coughed. “You are in the mood, aren’t you? You shoved that mint right down my throat.”

  “Yuk,” I whispered with a grimace.

  “Wow, what a great kiss. As always,” Roger said, exhaling audibly. “Okay, I should get back. But I’ll be seeing you in an hour.”

  Then I heard the door open and another short burst of running water. I stood quietly leaning against the closet door, then hear
d the bathroom door open and close a second time. I waited a few seconds then slowly stepped out of the closet and glanced around. Then I made a beeline for the exit and headed back to the ladies’ room where Josie was leaning with her back against the sink and her arms folded across her chest. She glared at me and grabbed one of the packets of paper towels from my hands.

  “What on earth took you so long?” she said, blotting a handful of the paper towels on her slacks.

  “I got trapped in there,” I said as I began working on another section of the stain. “Roger walked in while I was in the supply closet.”

  “And you decided to stay?” she said, raising an eyebrow at me.

  “He had company.”

  “Really? Female company?”

  “Yeah.”

  “In the bathroom? Yuk,” she said, frowning.

  “They were only making out,” I said. “But they made plans to meet up in an hour.”

  “Who was the woman?”

  “I couldn’t tell. I had the closet door closed, and she was whispering the whole time.”

  “You think it was Jill’s mom?”

  “I guess it could have been,” I said, shrugging. “But they’re sitting right next to each other at the table. They wouldn’t need to sneak off to have that conversation. Maybe it was the Princess of Darkness.”

  “He’s sleeping with Beelzebub?”

  “Apparently.”

  “Well, for his sake, I hope he takes instructions well,” Josie said, grabbing a fresh handful of paper towels.

  I laughed and continued to work on the wine stain.

  “He’s been doing the roving eye thing all night,” Josie said. “Maybe he connected with one of the other women at the table.”

  “There must be at least a half-dozen possible candidates,” I said. “I wonder who it is.”

  Josie shrugged as she tossed the used paper towels in the trash and pulled her slacks back on. She left her blouse untucked and managed to cover the top half of the wine stain.

  “Well, that’s the best I can do,” she said, looking at herself in the mirror. “Let’s go get some dessert.”