Jerk It

by Lani Lynn Vale

  He touched my cheek and was gone, leaving me in a wave of sadness at his retreat.

  “Hey, where’s my dad going?”

  I turned to see Sophia and Clementine both staring at me with curiosity.

  I swallowed. “He needed a minute.”

  Sophia’s eyes went sad instantly.

  But it was Clementine’s reaction that surprised me.

  She was…ravaged.

  In fact, she looked like she’d been poleaxed in the stomach at the thought of Madden hurting.

  I shook my head and steered away from them, knowing that was one thing that I did not need to get into the middle of.

  Heading back to Murphy, I was surprised to see that the crowd around him had almost tripled in size.

  Everyone was happy to have him back.

  Even more importantly, Murphy’s face had the biggest smile I’d seen on him since he’d woken up.

  I stood back and listened to his story, rolling my eyes each time he embellished a little.

  “…she had to straight up drag me through the house by my shirt collar and my arms. Thank God she had smooth wood floors.” He paused. “I still have a scar on my shoulder from where my shoulder caught on something on the way out the door.”

  He turned around so that everyone could see the funny-shaped scar.

  I had no idea what had caught on him during that horrific time. I hadn’t even noticed he’d been bleeding, to be honest.

  But I’d do it over and over again, creating more and more scars on his perfect body, if it kept him alive.

  “Hey,” Soren’s wife, Nola, said. “It’s in the shape of an M. Are you sure she didn’t put it there on you on purpose? Like a brand?”

  Murphy’s eyes turned to me, and they gleamed with amusement.

  “I don’t know, Nola,” I teased, my eyes staying connected with my man’s. “But I’d do it over and over again, filling his body with weird M-shaped scars, if it kept him here on Earth with me.”

  Something strange came over Murphy’s eyes then. They went a little distant as they focused on something only he’d seen.

  I watched for a few long seconds as he smiled a secret smile, and I knew that he was thinking about that place he’d gone after he’d died.

  He’d told me a few times about it, how the place beyond this life was something so beautiful that he couldn’t describe it. How, when he left it, he was sad.

  Ever since he’d ‘left’ that place, he’d treated Earth and his knowledge that one day he would leave as a temporary stop gap in his life. He told me, when we finally made it to that place together, that our lives would just be so much better than they were now.

  And, since I couldn’t imagine anything being more perfect than it was right then, with my son in his arms, and a smile on his face, married to the man I loved? Well, I’d just have to trust him.

  “God, you’re annoying.”

  We all stopped talking as Schultz stomped into the room with a woman yelling at his back.

  “And don’t think that I’ll give you another ride home with that attitude!” the woman declared as she yelled out her window at a retreating Schultz.

  The door to the gym finally swung closed, and the woman in the car growled, baring her teeth, before rolling the window to her truck up and driving away sedately.

  “She was hot.” We all turned to find Haggard leaning against a rig, looking relaxed and content with being on the outside of the conversation. “Who was that, Schultz?”

  Schultz stopped and narrowed his eyes at Haggard. “None of your damn business, Coach.”

  My eyebrows lifted at that. “Whoa.”

  “You have a problem with me?” Haggard asked way too casually.

  Schultz sighed, then looked at Haggard apologetically. “No, you just had the ill-timed comment that served to piss me off even more. I’m sorry.” He scrubbed his hands down his face. “That’s my partner, and I’m trying really fuckin’ hard not to wring her neck.”

  With that parting comment, he left.

  But it was Murphy who said, “I had that same problem, and I married it.”

  My lips twitched as I walked over and leaned down until my mouth was inches away from Murphy’s.

  Vlad tried to push my face away, but I persevered and got that kiss.

  “Love you, Mavis.”

  I pinched his ear. “I can’t believe you just called me a problem.”

  “You’re my most favorite problem,” he teased.

  I rolled my eyes, then sat down on the black mat next to my family.

  And together, we enjoyed the rest of our night at the gym, talking about everything and anything under the sun.

  CHAPTER 26

  I never lose. Either I win, or you’re a bitch.

  -Mavis to Murphy

  MURPHY

  6 weeks later

  “Thanks, man.” I held out my hand to Jeremiah.

  Jeremiah rolled his eyes and took my hand anyway.

  “It’s not like I really did much. The dogs died. I had them cremated,” Jeremiah grumbled gruffly.

  A motorcycle pulled up into the alley that Jeremiah and I shared between our two places, and I was surprised to see that it was Haggard.

  Haggard got off his bike, his leather cut slightly askew, and that’s when I finally made the connection.

  The two of them were in the same motorcycle club.

  “Damn, I’m slow.” I shook my head, a grin forming on my face.

  “What?” Haggard asked as he strolled toward us.

  “I just now realized y’all were in the same motorcycle club.” I laughed. “I’ve been seeing the two of you separately for a while now, but I just now put two and two together.”

  Haggard grinned. “Jeremiah doesn’t usually wear his cut all that often because it makes his ex-wife a little stabby. He wears it more now that they’re divorced.”

  My brows rose. “When did that happen?”

  “While you were dying,” he grumbled. “I told your wife. But I’m sure she had other things on her mind rather than my problems.”

  I snorted. “A few other things.”

  I eyed the patch on Haggard’s breast pocket. “Thief?”

  “Road name,” Haggard said. “At least mine’s not ‘Sparkle’ like his.”

  I looked at Jeremiah’s patch and sure enough, his name was ‘Sparkle.’”

  I snorted. “I like it.”

  Jeremiah snorted, but then turned thoughtful as he checked me out.

  “So does your being here mean you’re gonna be back?” he asked.

  I grinned. “A few more weeks yet. I just wanted to come down here and check the place out, make sure everything was okay. I know you’ve been keeping an eye on it for me, and I really appreciate that.”

  Jeremiah jerked his head in understanding. “I’m sorry about the dogs.”

  I sighed.

  The dogs were old.

  I knew that when I’d bought this place and they’d come as kind of a package deal.

  I’d only had them for a short time, but it bothered me more than I realized, them passing away.

  “Gonna be lonely here when I come back,” I admitted. “I enjoyed having them here.”

  Haggard remained quiet while Jeremiah and I spoke but perked up when the woman that dominated my dreams rounded the corner of the alley with a very pissed off Vlad in her hands.

  Since I couldn’t take him—I’d yet to be allowed to pick up more than ten pounds, and sadly, Vlad was almost triple that now—I had to watch her struggle with him.

  That was until Haggard offered her his hands.

  “I’ll take him,” he offered. “I don’t mind screaming kids. I had to get used to that shit when my girl was little since her mother poisoned her against me. Getting her on the weekends and holidays was like a bittersweet dessert. You enjoyed the hell out of it afterward, but during, you’re not quite sure it’s worth the calories.”

  Mavis handed Vlad over gladly.

  “
I really should be more upset that he hates me,” she admitted, “but I’m just glad that he likes other people.”

  Haggard frowned, but it was Jeremiah who said, “He hates you?”

  “He definitely doesn’t prefer me,” she admitted. “Since he was a little bitty baby, he’s always preferred everyone else over me, and I don’t know why.”

  Jeremiah grunted out something unintelligible before saying, “My youngest was like that. Absolutely couldn’t stand her mother. Loved me. Drove my ex-wife batty, too. She didn’t handle it anywhere near as well as it sounds like you are.”

  Mavis shrugged. “I mean, it sucks because I can’t even hold my own kid. But I can make him happy. He doesn’t mind sitting near me, he just doesn’t like me holding him. It is what it is at this point.”

  “Funny that you say that,” Haggard said. “The moment you handed him over, he stopped crying. But though I’m holding him, he’s staring at you.”

  We all blinked, and I thought back to all the times that I’d been holding him after Mavis had handed him off, and how every single time, Vlad had turned to stare at his mother.

  “You know,” I said softly, “I’ve noticed that, too. It’s like he wants to see you.”

  “Something to consider the next time he’s acting up. Does he really want to get away from you? Or does he just want to be able to see you?” Jeremiah rumbled.

  Mavis sighed. “Something that I’ll hopefully know when he starts talking. In the meantime,” she looked at me. “I have some bills to pay in the office, and I need your keys to get inside. Do you mind providing those for me?”

  I grinned and reached into my pocket for the keys, handing them over to her.

  She started to step toward Haggard, but he shook his head. “Go get your bills paid. If I need to leave before you come back, then I’ll bring him to you.”

  Mavis glanced at me, offered everyone a smile, and started away.

  I caught her by the belt loop before she could take two steps in the opposite direction.

  “Kiss me before you walk away, baby,” I ordered. “You always have before.”

  Instead of turning around, she leaned her head back, and I curved my hand around her throat before dropping a kiss to her upturned lips.

  That kiss was so nice that I gave her a few more before letting my hand slide away from her throat.

  When she looked back at me over her shoulder after getting halfway down the alley, I grinned at the look of lust in her eyes. “Don’t forget we have to meet my grandmother for dinner in an hour.”

  I gave her a thumbs up before turning back to the men.

  My gaze fell on Vlad, who was watching Mavis go.

  Maybe the two men in front of me were onto something with the kid.

  He definitely never allowed his eyes to stray far from his mother when she was around.

  Yes, definitely something to ponder indeed.

  “I wish I had a boy,” Haggard grumbled. “You’re a lucky man. Your son’s a pretty good one.”

  I didn’t correct of his assumptions.

  Because, for all intents and purposes, Vlad was mine.

  One day he would openly carry my name, too.

  • • •

  Dinner that night was exactly how I would’ve expected it to be.

  Awkward, time consuming, and annoying.

  The Pope matriarch was just as much of a bitch now as she had been when I’d lived on her property.

  And it didn’t make it any better that Fran had decided to invite my mother, a woman Grandma Pope definitely noticed and recognized.

  “I thought we said this was going to be a family affair,” Pearl glared at the occupants of the room.

  There was my mother and me, Vlad who was in my arms, then Mavis who was leaning against the back of my chair. She had a death grip on the chair top, and she was ‘going to be good’ as long as her grandmother didn’t ‘pile on the bullshit.’

  Then there was Taos and Fran, Fran being the one to answer the door.

  “What do you mean?” Fran asked with a frown. “This is our family.”

  “I wanted just you and Mavis.”

  Mavis snorted, drawing her grandmother’s attention, but didn’t say anything more than that.

  I curled my arm around the back of the chair, cupping her calf with my large hand and squeezing lightly.

  She growled under her breath, causing my lips to twitch.

  “That’s not possible, seeing as we’re both in relationships now,” Fran said. “We’re sorry that you don’t know our men and Guilia, but we do.”

  Pearl narrowed her eyes as she said, “What do you mean husbands? Plural?”

  She looked at Mavis as if just the idea of her being married was laughable.

  “Mavis and Murphy were married a couple of months ago,” Fran shrugged. “Before he got his heart transplant.”

  Pearl’s lips pressed into a line of annoyance, but ultimately, she didn’t say anything to that. Which was a good thing, because I didn’t think that Mavis would’ve been able to keep her shit in check if Pearl had.

  This time, it was my mother who snorted.

  Pearl turned to stare at Mavis then.

  “We need to talk about the young man in the hospital that is the father of this one,” Pearl pointed at Vlad.

  Vlad who was nodding off despite the excitement in the room.

  His head was pressed against my chest, and his mouth was open widely with drool leaking out. Every few seconds, his eyes would pop open, then close just as fast for longer and longer each time.

  “Do you know his name?” I asked quietly.

  Pearl’s eyes narrowed as she said, “What does that have to do with anything?”

  “It has to do with everything seeing as you don’t have anything to do with him. So why would we need to talk about the man that helped conceive him when you don’t know anything about the situation?” I pushed.

  Pearl crossed her arms over her chest. “I’m just trying to make sure that if he decides to pull his head out of his ass when it comes to my grandson, he won’t be taken away because we ‘didn’t tell him’ about the baby. Signed away rights or not. He can still make a stink. I don’t give a flying fuck about who the man is. I give a flying fuck about the money he has, and how one day he may think he has the ability to smear the Pope name.” She frowned. “And we don’t know if, once he’s better, he’ll suddenly have a change of heart and decide to be a responsible human being.”

  That was actually kind of sweet.

  But…

  “I took care of it already,” I told the room at large.

  This was something I hadn’t even told my own wife about yet.

  Pearl unfastened her frail arms from across her chest and stared. “You’re sure?”

  “Positive,” I said into the yawning silence.

  “Then I have nothing more keeping me here,” Pearl said.

  Then with a flourish that only a Pope could make, she swept out of the room and out the door without another word.

  It wasn’t until the door stopped vibrating that Mavis said, “What do you mean you took care of it?”

  She walked around my chair and stared at me.

  “I took care of it.” I paused. “Well, technically, my mom took care of it for me since I was a bit of an invalid that last couple of weeks before my surgery. But I had Mom talk to a lawyer. We went through our attorneys. I didn’t want this to be something you had to worry about after I was gone.” I licked my lips. “I am, legally, Vlad’s father. On the birth certificate, it says he’s mine. Bayne can’t say anything, because I tied him up legally. He won’t be able to ever say a word unless he wants to break a very ironclad contract. Oh, and shell out millions of dollars in fines and fees.”

  The sight of her eyes filling with tears had me reaching out for her.

  She came, sitting down on one of my legs and leaning in so she didn’t crush Vlad.

  Pressing her lips to mine, she said, “So you’re offi
cially both of ours, now?”

  “You were always officially mine. You just didn’t know it.”

  EPILOGUE

  Bad puns. It’s how eye roll.

  -Murphy to Mavis

  MURPHY

  “Dad!”

  The absolute panic in my son’s voice had me whipping my head around and staring at Vlad as he all but poured through the kitchen door.

  He looked panicked and stricken, as if something terrible had happened in between him leaving an hour ago and now.

  I also noticed he was missing one very annoying girlfriend.

  “What’s wrong?” I asked, my heart picking up speed at the panic in his voice.

  Had he wrecked his car…

  “Kyra and I broke up, and she wouldn’t give my sweatshirt back!” he cried out.

  That damn sweatshirt.

  “Umm,” I hesitated. “What happened? Weren’t y’all just together like five minutes ago?”

  He shrugged. “She wanted to go eat at Taco Casa, and I don’t like Taco Casa. She persisted, so I told her she could go by herself, and I’d drop her off and go eat at Whataburger. But then she said maybe I should just drop her off at home. So, I did. But as she was getting out of the car, she told me that she didn’t want to date me anymore because I didn’t understand her. Then when I asked for my sweatshirt back, she told me she wouldn’t give it to me because I was always really mean and dishonest with her. I don’t know what that was about but…anyway, long story short, I didn’t get the sweatshirt back!”

  “What’s the big deal?” our middle child, Andrew, asked. “Just buy a new one. It’s not a big deal.”

  “It is a big deal,” Vlad argued, “because that was my lucky one! I need it back!”

  His ‘lucky’ sweatshirt wasn’t lucky.

  However, at fifteen, Vlad was a lover of baseball. He was pretty damn good at it, too.

  But being good at it also meant that he was superstitious. Superstitious as fuck.

  That came with him not washing his pants, his underwear, or his stupid sweatshirt until they lost.

  His sweatshirt likely smelled rank. I wasn’t sure why that girl would want to keep it.

  “I’ll help you steal it back,” our youngest, Louella, better known as Lou, said. “I can break into her house and steal it. Because there’s no way in hell she’s giving that back.”