Jerk It

by Lani Lynn Vale

  “She’ll give it back.” Vlad sounded so sure that I hated to disappoint him. “No need to do anything hasty like breaking and entering.”

  Vlad was also the golden boy. He did no wrong.

  Seriously, he was a good kid. Always home before curfew, never doing anything bad ever, and he didn’t even speed. Seriously, where was that in my other two hellions?

  “We’re not breaking into any houses,” I disagreed. “But, let me show you something, son.”

  I walked Vlad into the bedroom where I could hear Mavis knocking around, moving stuff around.

  Every few years, she’d get a bee up her bonnet and she’d need to remodel our room. Bed, sheets, sometimes furniture, paint color and even wall décor.

  This time, it seemed, it all was coming down.

  I wondered who she’d donate it to this time.

  Or who I would have to donate it to seeing as she rarely ever did anything with it once she got it out to the garage.

  “What am I looking at?” Vlad whispered. “Other than my crazy mother who thinks it’s normal to decide to paint a room at seven in the evening on a Friday night when we’re supposed to be somewhere?”

  My lips twitched at his words. “Look at what she’s wearing.”

  The particular shirt she was wearing was mine.

  From fucking childhood.

  I hadn’t even realized the damn thing had gone missing until a few weeks after I’d moved in with her.

  But the thing was, at the time, that shirt had been one of my absolute favorites. I had exactly four shirts to my name at that time, and the damn woman had stolen my most favorite.

  I’d thought I’d lost it in the move.

  She’d told me, about a year after our marriage, that she’d taken it because she hadn’t wanted to let me go.

  She’d hoped that by taking it, I’d have to come back and see her.

  Funny thing was, had I known she had it, I just well might have.

  “A Paris ISD Football Athletic shirt.” Vlad paused. “And?”

  “And, that was my shirt when I lived with my mother on your mother’s grandmother’s property. I hadn’t even realized that she had it.” I paused. “Not until a decade later.”

  Vlad swallowed hard, likely realizing his mistake.

  He was never getting that sweatshirt back.

  Finally realizing she had an audience, Mavis blinked and stared at us all crammed in the doorway.

  “What’s the problem?” Mavis asked, looking over her shoulder at all of us staring at her.

  “Kyra and I broke up today,” Vlad admitted sheepishly.

  Mavis stopped what she was doing for a moment to look at him in triumph. “I told you she was going to do it.”

  “You told me, but I didn’t want to believe you,” Vlad shot back.

  I crossed my arms and leaned my shoulder against the door frame.

  “Did you get your sweatshirt back before she did it like I suggested?” Mavis went back to pressing the blue tape along the white trim of our baseboards.

  “No,” Vlad winced. “I didn’t think…”

  “You thought she’d be nice and give it to you.” Mavis snorted. “Yeah right.”

  Vlad grumbled underneath his breath as Lou said, “Mom, I think you should help me break into her house and get it back.”

  I dropped my hand onto Lou’s head. “There will be no breaking and entering.”

  Lou looked bummed that I would put that stipulation on her.

  “Just tell her the next time you see her that you want her to have it, because it’ll always remind her of you.” Mavis paused as she tried to reach a particular painting on the wall and couldn’t quite lift it high enough to get it off the anchor it was resting on. “Tell her that you want her next boyfriend to know that she still prefers being surrounded by you. That’ll get her to give it back.”

  I moved and pulled the painting off the wall, pressing her against the wall to do it.

  “Ewwww,” Vlad groaned. “Gross.”

  I ignored the way my kids cringed when I got close to Mavis and placed the painting on the floor before squeezing her hips to get her to stay.

  “Y’all ready to go workout?” I asked curiously over my shoulder. “Friday Night Lights is about to start.”

  Friday Night Lights was when the entire gym got together to do the first open workout that the CrossFit Games put out each year. Our gym would bring a pot-luck style dish that would sit there while we all worked out. Then, when we were done, we’d eat and drink beer and be ultimately happy people as we complained about how bad the workout was.

  “I’m ready,” Mavis said as she dusted off her hands. “We can do the rest tomorrow.”

  I rolled my eyes at the word ‘we.’

  I would help her with the big stuff, but mostly, she’d want me out of the way while she did her thing.

  Not that I was complaining. Painting wasn’t my favorite thing in the world.

  I’d much rather have my head under an old car, restoring it to its prime, than painting any day.

  But if she’d wanted me there, I would be there, grumbling and all.

  She stopped in front of me and smiled up at me, and I couldn’t stop myself from dropping a kiss to her upturned mouth.

  “Love you,” she said.

  I pulled her in with a hand on her butt. “Love you, too.”

  “Gross.” Vlad disappeared into the hallway. “I’ll be ready in five minutes.”

  He was ready in ten, in typical teenager fashion.

  I used that time to my advantage and made out with his mother until he was.

  Best ten minutes ever.

  • • •

  MAVIS

  “Y’all are so in love it makes me sick.” Fran came up to my side, standing there as we watched our husbands work out.

  I rolled my eyes as I said, “And you’re not?”

  Fran patted her growing belly. “I mean, obviously.”

  Snorting, I rolled the forty-five-pound weights toward my man who was slowly adding weight to a bar to max out his weight on deadlifts.

  In the years that had passed since Murphy’s heart transplant, he’d gotten all of his strength back and then some.

  Ultimately, he was a very fit individual, and we always made sure to eat healthy and stay physically active to ensure that it continued to stay that way, and we wouldn’t wind up in the same predicament as last time.

  Logically, I knew that in fifteen years we would need to worry about getting Murphy another heart, but I had no doubt in my mind that he would get it.

  Murphy was meant for great things.

  In the years that followed his illness, Murphy had gone out of his way to help the area homeless population find food, shelter, healthcare, and anything else he could help them with if they only needed it.

  He was a pillar of the community, and I loved him more and more every day for how he was helping our community.

  “Why are you so sweaty before your workout?” she asked.

  I grinned. “I started redoing the bedroom before we left. Which then meant that I was pushing stuff around and got all hot before I even left the house. Not to mention it’s hot as balls in here with all these people. They need to open a door or something.”

  Fran rolled her eyes. “When you’re done with that, will you help me with the new baby’s room?”

  I snorted. “All you have to do is ask, sister.”

  She smiled, then went and helped Murphy get the clip on the bar to keep the weights in place.

  He muttered a distracted ‘thanks’ before setting up for his next lift.

  We both watched him as Fran asked her next question.

  “How did his heart checkup go?” Fran asked as Murphy was able to complete his left. “That was today, right?”

  “Yep,” I confirmed as I heard the familiar war cry of Vlad. I turned my eyes to take in his lift, and grinned. Vlad had fallen into not mine, but Murphy’s shadow. “It went okay. Everything is look
ing good. Exactly as it should.”

  Anything Murphy did, Vlad wanted to do.

  Just like it’d always been.

  Over the years, Vlad had turned into a mama’s boy. You wouldn’t be able to tell that at one point, Vlad wouldn’t even take a bottle from my hands.

  The weirdo.

  “That’s great news,” she said. “That’s…

  “Son of a bitch!”

  We all looked to see Taos straining to get the weight off the floor.

  Madden was right next to him, laughing his ass off seeing as he’d just successfully lifted the weight. In the end, Taos couldn’t lift it.

  “I’m sure I’ll have to hear all about that tonight,” Fran sighed. “I better get back over there before he gets all butt hurt about the fact that I wasn’t watching him.”

  She disappeared from sight, but before I could resituate myself on the floor after her departure, my baby Lou came to fill the spot.

  “Can we go to the deli for dinner?” she asked sweetly.

  I grinned down at her, looking into her father’s eyes. “I guess if you can convince your daddy to go.”

  She grumbled something under her breath. “He’ll say no because we put a crockpot meal on.”

  My lips twitched. “Just use those big, beautiful eyes on him and he’ll cave like the sucker he is.”

  Lou left after that, bored with the lifting.

  But I never got bored.

  Not when it came to my man.

  Watching him was like knowing that I could live my life breathing easy.

  He was here. He was healthy.

  He was mine to have and to hold.

  The weight dropping hard on the ground had me looking up to see him grinning wickedly at me. “PR.”

  PR meaning personal record.

  I smiled big. “I knew you could do it.”

  He walked over to me, leaning over me to press a kiss to my mouth. “You’re so beautiful.”

  I rolled my eyes. “I’m sweaty and a mess.”

  “You’re my sweaty mess.”

  “I’m your sweaty mess that’s just been watching your sexy ass workout shirtless for the last hour. Can you schedule me in some time later?” I teased, batting my eyes at him.

  He grinned, then dropped a kiss directly to my mouth.

  That’s when Vlad said, “Y’all are so gross!” from across the room.

  There were several loud laughs emitted after that.

  But Murphy didn’t let me up for air until he was ready. “Love you.”

  I curled my hands into his pants before pulling him even closer. “Or we could just go visit the family restroom.”

  “Y’all are so gross!” Andrew muttered as he passed.

  “How do you think you were conceived, boy?” Haggard asked as he ruffled Andrew’s mop of blond hair. “Now get to your bar and finish that lift.”

  Haggard winked at us as he passed. “Might want to tuck that need back in.”

  I scoffed. “Never.”

  I would never not show Murphy the affection that I wanted.

  Because there was one point in time I thought I’d never get to again.

  And everyone knew that.

  I was very open about it.

  “When we get home.” He pulled away and offered me his hand. “Now, the sooner you get to lifting, the sooner we get to leave.”

  He ended that with a wink that set my lower body on fire. “Damn, you’re hot.”

  He smiled. “I know.”

  • • •

  I hope you enjoyed Murphy and Mavis’s story! Up next is Will and Cannel’s story in Chalk Dirty to Me

  Grab your copy now!