Shattered: A Salvation Society Novel

by Bella Emy

  He places two fingers underneath my chin, willing me to look up and over at him. “Lexi, there is nothing to be sorry about.”

  “But I almost—”

  “Almost, what?” he asks, cutting me off. “Kissed me? And why would that have been such a bad thing?”

  The ghost of a smile forms on his lips, and I feel the tension between us growing stronger. What in the world is happening right about now?

  “Kalen, I…”

  “Shhh,” he says, placing a finger over my lips, shushing me, and oh my God, do I ever get the sudden urge to run my lips up and down his finger. “There is no need to overanalyze what’s happening between us, no need to think things over. Just let fate take over, and let what’s meant to be take place.”

  I search his eyes in hopes that he will add something more to assure me that this is supposed to be happening. But is it right? Is this what’s in the cards for me? I thought all along that Kalen and I were done and over with years ago. I thought my feelings for him had been buried along with the dream of him and I ever being a couple once again.

  But as I sit here right beside him on this Ferris wheel on the night of my twenty-sixth birthday, I know there is nothing more I want than to have another chance with this man. I know for sure that I am not over Kalen Starling, and I know that there is only one more thing that could make this birthday the most perfect one ever.

  And as I’m about to make more justifications in my mind as to why it’s okay for me not to push Kalen away from me, he leans in and smashes his lips into mine before I even have a chance to realize what he’s doing.

  I don’t pull away. I don’t push him or ask him what the hell he’s doing like the Lexi from even just a few days ago would have done. No. Instead, I welcome his kiss, meeting it with one of my own, parting my lips open, allowing him access to explore my mouth.

  His hand lands on my thigh, and I want him to go higher until he’s touching my most precious area. But of course, I’m just so turned on by him and I know if that’s going to happen, it’s not going to be right now. He’s a gentleman, and I know he’ll make sure that’s what I want before he goes ahead and goes any further. At least that is what the Kalen from long ago did.

  I push the memories from our past to the side and focus on the here and now. As our tongues come together and caress one another in a desperate want, need, his arms wrap around me, pulling my body closer to his. I feel the desire build up inside of me, and all I want right now is for him to take me back on his boat and make love to me on that king-size bed of his in the lower deck where I spent the last night sleeping alone.

  I moan into his mouth and he reaches up with his hand and places it behind my neck. Smashing his forehead into mine and pulling his lips away from me momentarily, he says through closed lids, “Fuck, Lexi. You taste amazing and I can’t believe I have you right here with me after so long. I have dreamed about kissing you once more for years, and I prayed for the day that you’d be back in my arms since the day we said good-bye.”

  A pang of hurt hits my heart as those words leave his full lips. If they’re true, why did he ever let me go? If those words are real, then why didn’t he come searching for me? And if that’s the case, why am I only hearing about this now? Still, there was never a good-bye, and maybe that’s the reason why I spent so much time, so many years, trying to mend the pieces of my shattered heart.

  I fight back the tears threatening to spill over once more, and in order to do so, I force my lips to his once more, kissing him harder than the first time our lips touched tonight.

  He feels my desire and mimics it with his own, showing me just how much he wants me, craves me, by the way his kiss demands all of me. It’s enough to make me forget the pain, if only momentarily, if only for the time he’s kissing me tonight.

  My head tilts to the side as he brings his lips to my cheek and then peppers kisses against the length of my neck. “Oh, Kalen...” I coo as he runs his tongue on my collarbone.

  “Mmm, you’re delicious… I just want to taste more of you, sweetheart.”

  As if I weren’t already a drenched mess, his words send me into a frenzy. Please do.

  “Fuck, take me back to your boat, please,” I beg.

  He pulls away, looking me dead in the eyes and smiles wickedly, which also does another fantastic number on my already raging hormones. “As you wish, sweetheart.”

  We pull apart from one another just as the ride comes to an end and for fuck’s sake, it can’t come soon enough. Grabbing my hand in his, he helps me out and we quickly speed out of there away from the crowds. He knows what I want. I know what he wants, and it’s the exact same thing as I do.

  A gentle rain starts to fall and we run as fast as we can just like high school kids, just like we used to be… high school sweethearts, deeply in love, unable to keep our hands off of one another.

  Except we’re no longer in high school and we’re certainly not in love. Lust is more like it.

  Reaching the boat, he steps on first and then turns around to help me up. The rain starts coming down harder, causing my hair to hang, dripping water onto my face. I let him pull me up, and as he does, my body crashes into his. Our clothes quickly become soaked, matching the state my panties have been in all night.

  Our hands stay entwined, not letting go. No words are said as we stare at one another standing on his ship like there isn’t a storm coming down around us. At this moment, it doesn’t even matter though. All that matters is his eyes taking me in and devouring me more than actions ever could.

  “Kalen…” I whisper, breaking the silence. I search his eyes, and as the rain continues to come down around us, his lips pull into a smile.

  Pushing the hair out of my eyes, he says, “Lexi, you’re so beautiful…”

  I shiver at his touch. “I’m wet, my clothes are a mess barely hanging on me and—”

  He chuckles, cupping my face and cutting me off. “Mmm, just the way I like you. A wet mess.” A devilish smirk replaces the innocent smile from just moments ago. “I know how we can fix this.”

  I tilt my head. “How?”

  “Like this.” Without wasting a single second, he smashes his lips into mine and kisses me as if his life depended on it. It feels so good. He feels so good, and I know I want more. Moments later, as if reading my mind, he lifts me off my feet, causing my arms to wrap around his neck and my legs to wrap around his waist, and carries me further onto the boat.

  I don’t know how he does it, but he carries me down the stairs to the lower section of his boat and throws me softly onto the bed. He crawls above me on his knees, and Lord, is he sexy.

  A low moan escapes from my throat, surprising me, but the fact that he’s taking control is so damn sexy, and it’s causing the anticipation to grow.

  He reaches down and grabs the bottom portion of my dress, pulling up and finally swinging it over my head in one swift movement.

  Lying on the bed in just a bra and a pair of panties, I feel the coolness in the air lightly caress my skin, making me shiver.

  “Baby,” he moans as his hands land on the sides of my breasts.

  Another touch, another moan. I want him so badly right about now that the urge to rip off his clothes comes over me in an instant.

  “Damn, Lexi. You’re fucking amazing.”

  “Please… take me,” I beg and then pull his shirt up over his head.

  I love looking at his body; his sculpted chest, his chiseled abs. He’s damn perfect. But right now, I don’t want to look anymore. I want to touch.

  I want to feel.

  I want to taste.

  Everything. All of him. Every single part he has to offer me.

  I want him.

  I crave him.

  I need him.

  He pulls back and stares at me. God, he’s gorgeous. The way his eyes are taking me in right now, the way his body is making it so clear that he’s yearning for me, is so damn irresistible.

  But it only lasts for a mome
nt, because before I know it, he crashes his lips into mine once more. They’re so soft, so full, so fucking kissable, and I can’t wait to see how the rest of my body reacts to them.

  If the way he kisses is any indication of what’s to come and how they’re going to feel once they caress and devour other parts of me, I’m in deep trouble.

  But at the same time, I can’t wait. I’m excited for it, and I’m longing for it.

  My pussy aches, waiting for him to place his fingers on it and massage it, just like they’re doing to the rest of my body as his hands roam all over me.

  “Lexi… you feel so amazing in my arms,” he whispers in my ear and then kisses the side of my neck.

  My head whips to the side, giving him full access to taste me. Any part of me will do right about now. I just want to feel him on me.

  “Kalen, oh God, Kalen… please…” I beg. I need more of him. Much more of him. All that he’s giving me right now isn’t enough, even with his hands caressing the length of my body.

  He peppers kisses down my neck until he reaches my chest and pulls down my bra.

  Talk about waterfalls. The pool in between my legs makes Niagara Falls look like a joke.

  He takes my left breast in his hand and squeezes gently. “Fuck, Lexi. You’ve got beautiful tits.”

  A million little shivers cover my body as he places his lips on my breast, the erect nub slipping into his mouth and then in between his teeth. He bites down with just the right amount of pressure and fuck, I’m already ready to explode.

  My head whips back as his tongue whips and circles around my nipple, causing me to writhe beneath him. If it’s at all possible, I want him even more than I ever did before now. He squeezes the other one with his hand only for a moment before showing it the same amount of attention with his mouth.

  His amazing mouth and all the wonders it’s capable of.

  “Kay… Kalen…” I coo, grabbing the back of his head in my hands. I want him even closer to me. I want him inside of me.

  As if he can tell what I’m thinking of and how I’m feeling, he slides down my stomach and places kisses on my navel.

  “Oh, my God…” I purr. He’s so damn close to my pussy that it’s driving me absolutely insane.

  He lets out a sexy as sin chuckle and places his fingers over my center. “Mmm, what do we have here?”

  “Kalen…” I whisper and look down at him from in between my breasts.

  “It smells scrumptious. I think I need to have a little taste…” He licks his lips.

  My eyes roll to the back of my head. “Oh, my God…”

  He slides my panties to the side, exposing my shaved area, which thank God, I had done this morning, and then caresses me with two fingers.

  “Holy fuck!” I moan, whipping my head to the left.

  “Damn, she’s so pretty, baby… just like you. And she looks so damn delicious. I just have to have a taste.” Leaning into me, he sweeps his tongue along my slit.

  “Kalen… oh!” My head whips to the right.

  “Just as I thought, delicious. I’m about to have me a full course meal. Lean back and enjoy, sweetheart. I’m starving.”

  With those words, he pulls my panties down in one swift movement, and throws them to the ground. He then dives back into me once more, whipping his tongue back and forth, front to back, and eats me out like I’ve never been eaten out before.

  “Fuck, don’t stop!” I beg. But there’s no need to because he doesn’t give any indication as if he were going to. He just keeps on giving me more and more of what I want. What I need.

  I reach up and grab my breast with one hand, while the other lands on his hair. I grab a fistful of his hair and he goes harder, deeper, licking me and sucking on my clit till my eyes roll back once more.

  “Holy fuck… I’m going to… ahh, yes… I’m coming! I’m coming, don’t stop!” The waves of pleasure hit me without warning, and I ride them like the tides of the ocean.

  As I come down from my high, he grabs my hips and slides me down so that my face lines up with his. “God, Lexi. You sound so sexy when you’re coming. I want to make you come again so I can hear you all over again.”

  This man. This incredible man who knows exactly how to please me is making me horny for him all over again with his words alone.

  He leans down and my eyes close as he kisses me, and fuck, he’s so good at it. Just like everything else. I don’t have a single complaint, which usually, I find at least one or two things that don’t sit well with me.

  But not with Kalen. He is every single ounce of perfection possible.

  As our lips pull apart, he lifts his head up, looking me dead in the eyes. “Baby girl, I want you so fucking badly, baby.”

  I open my eyes to take in the beautiful sight of Kalen Starling. I can’t believe after all these years I’m lying naked on his bed in the bottom deck of his boat and he’s sent me to the stars already once tonight.

  And those words, his words, are music to my ears. “Me, too. Please… me too. Fuck me…”

  It’s like he’s hearing me for the first time ever. The look in his eyes is telling me he’s finally heard me. Even though I hadn’t said it to him in these exact words before, I know my actions were pretty clear about what I wanted.

  Never once tonight, when he leaned in, did I pull back.

  Never once tonight, when he kissed me, did I ask him to stop.

  No.

  Instead, I welcomed him and begged him for more. And this time, I was clear. Clear as day. And I’m ready now, after all the years, all the pain, and all the heartache, to welcome the pleasure and possibly a different kind of pain that sleeping with him tonight may cause my heart. Because in the morning, when the sun comes up, and all is said and done, I know we can never go back. I know things between us will be different. How, I’m not sure yet, but I know there is no way I will be the same once I give myself to him tonight.

  Because we’ve already gone there before, and once we did, things changed between us. If the same thing happens again now and he no longer speaks to me after we sleep together for this second time, I will be forced to completely let him go and walk away for good.

  Am I ready for that? I don’t know. I wasn’t before, even though I thought I was.

  But right now, at this moment, all I want is for Kalen to love me, touch me, and fuck all the uncertainties I have from my mind. I just want to feel and not think. And for once, I want to feel good.

  Kalen searches my eyes, looking for something. “Lexi, before we go any further, are you sure this is what you want?”

  I don’t respond right away. He had asked me the same thing the first time we slept together. And I did want it. I was sure. But I was also certain we’d be together forever.

  This time around, yes, I’m sure I want it, but I’m uncertain what the outcome will be once we’re done.

  Still, I don’t say a word. I just keep my arms wrapped around the back of his neck as he hovers above me.

  He speaks once more. “Lexi, I need to know before we go any further tonight that you truly want this. The last thing I want to do is make you unhappy or upset, especially on your birthday, or have you regret something in the morning.”

  I close my eyes only for a moment. As I open them once more, I say, “Kalen, there’s no stopping what’s about to happen next here tonight. We’ve done so much already, but I want more. I want this. I want you more than I ever have, and I want you to take me through the night like this is your last day on Earth. Make me forget all about the past. Make me forget about the stress that I’ll be dealing with once I go back home. Give me one night of pure pleasure, the sweet oblivion that I’m craving for. Give me you.”

  He nods. “Okay, Lexi. I can do that.”

  I bite down on my bottom lip. “I know you, can. Now fuck me like you’ve been dying to fuck me for years.”

  He gives me that devilish smirk that I love so much, turning me on further. “Lexi, you may not believe me, but I have. I
’ve been longing to fuck you, and some, from forever ago. I didn’t get enough that first time. I always craved more of you. But that’s another story. Right now, get ready, baby girl, because I’m about to turn you out.”

  My eyes lit up as he rises and undoes the button on his pants and then pulls down the zipper. This is it, and shit, am I ever ready for it.

  He climbs off the bed and removes his pants from around his ankles. As he stands here, I can see the imprint of his dick from behind his boxer briefs. Holy fuck… he looks huge. Much larger than I remember.

  His throaty laugh forces me to rip my gaze away and stare into his eyes. He caught me staring, and now I’m a little embarrassed.

  But should I be? I mean, I’m lying here naked on his bed. And he’s seen me in my most vulnerable state already as I came into his mouth, coating his tongue with my sweet juices.

  As he throws his pants to the floor, my eyes follow his movements once more. He then swipes down his boxer briefs, letting his length hang freely, steps out of them, and throws those to the ground as well.

  Oh. My. Lord.

  My eyes practically bulge out of my head. Never in all my life have I seen a bigger cock than the one staring at me right now.

  I think my mouth goes agape, and I let out a gasp because he chuckles once more.

  “I guess you’re enjoying the view from over there?”

  I swallow hard. “More than you know.”

  His lips curl into a smile as he climbs back on the bed. “Good. And as much as I love the view from up here, I think it’ll be better once I’m closer.”

  Those words don’t even have a chance to register in my brain. As they leave his beautiful mouth, he places it on mine, kissing me, and ramming his cock inside my cunt, causing me to gasp and moan inside his mouth.

  He pulls back as he pumps into me, finally giving me the chance to let out the scream of ecstasy that had been muffled moments ago in his mouth.

  “Oh, God, Kalen!”

  “Come again for me, baby girl. Sing like a fucking nightingale like you did just minutes ago. Come for me, baby. Come for me.”

  He rams deeper and harder into me as I moan again for him, just like he’s asking me to. In this moment, I’ll do whatever he wants me to, just as long as he keeps giving me inch after sweet delicious inch of him. “Kalen, I’m so close again… Oh, my God!”