Magic and Mayhem

by R K Dreaming

  But now here was a new quandary. How was she supposed to explain this non-existent paternal uncle to her mother?

  Percy dashed down the stairs, intent on opening the door for Lucifer herself and getting rid of him as quickly as possible. But to her alarm, she got there to find Gwendolyn had got there first.

  And she was looking at Lucifer like she very much appreciated what she was seeing. This was exactly what Percy had feared.

  Lucifer was tall and dark-haired, with eyes as black as midnight and a disconcertingly rakish smile. He was wearing his usual dapper suit, this time in deep grey velvet. The only allowance he had made for the special occasion were the two horns sticking out of his head.

  “Hello, handsome stranger,” Gwendolyn exclaimed, looking delighted.

  Gwendolyn was dressed all in tones of silver, with tiny glittering gems dusting her cheekbones. A diamond tiara glimmered and winked atop her vibrant locks of red hair. She’d transformed herself into Titania from A Midsummer Night’s Dream. She probably thought it was droll to dress as a human’s idea of the queen of the fairies.

  She leaned against the wall in a flirtatious manner, and looked Lucifer up and down some more, and said, “I don’t believe I invited you. Now tell me, why should I let you in?”

  “He’s here to see me,” said Percy quickly.

  She shot Lucifer a meaningful look, which she knew he understood to mean don’t you dare step foot in this house.

  But he merely smiled at her, stepped over the threshold, and wrapped Percy in a great big hug.

  “Darling, niece. Aren’t you a sight for sore eyes? Did you know I was going to be a demon tonight? I see that you’ve dressed to match!”

  “Niece?” said Gwendolyn, now looking in confusion from Percy to Lucifer. She was no longer smiling.

  Percy was about to lightly punch Lucifer on the arm as if amused, and tell her mother that he had been joking. But saw to her dismay that all three of her friends had followed her downstairs, including Felix to whom she had told the lie.

  So instead, she nodded, and scrambled to think of a suitable explanation.

  Nan came to her rescue. “Isn’t it amazing, Mrs Prince? It’s just like Percy to forget to tell you. This is Lucifer Darkwing. He’s Percy’s dad’s brother!”

  Nan seemed to realize the moment she said this that it had been a big mistake, because Gwendolyn’s face had become as stony as a statue’s. A statue who was thunderously angry.

  “Her dad’s brother?” Gwendolyn said in a scathing voice. “Really?”

  “Uh, yes?” squeaked Nan.

  Gwendolyn turned to look at Lucifer’s hair, which was black, not green like Percy’s.

  “Half-brother,” said Lucifer, apologetically clearing his throat, and giving Gwendolyn a look that said he hoped that she would understand.

  She, who had been looking very charmed by him a moment earlier, did not return the sympathetic look.

  “Is that so?” she said sharply. “In that case, why don’t you tell me all about Persephone’s father? The father she doesn’t know, and has never met, and whose name she doesn’t know? Therefore how can she possibly know that you are her uncle?”

  The scathing tone of Gwendolyn’s voice boiled through Percy’s veins like lava, filling her with the sudden urge to run away, and yet Lucifer seemed entirely unaffected.

  Nan was shooting Percy a desperate look. And now Felix was looking back and forth from Percy to Lucifer with dawning suspicion on his face.

  “You don’t know your father’s name?” he asked Percy.

  “Neither do I,” said Lucifer apologetically.

  Percy squashed down a groan. This was no way to convince her mother that he was who they were both claiming that he was.

  When Lucifer opened his mouth again, Percy shot him a glare to make him shut up and stop digging the hole that he was burying himself in any deeper.

  Lucifer might not care if this went downhill, but Percy did not want Felix to think that she had been casually lying to him. She could never explain the real reason. Felix was a hunter of feral eldritch beings. It was in his blood. What would he do if he ever found out what Lucifer really was?

  To her dismay, Lucifer continued, “My mother would never tell me my own father’s name, only that I had a half brother. And she wouldn’t tell me his name either. That half of the family was never to be mentioned. It’s only recently on her death bed that she told me I had a niece at all. I couldn’t believe it when she told me that the renown Gwendolyn Prince was my niece’s mother. I hope you can understand my desire to meet the only family I had left in the world.”

  The words flowed off his tongue glibly like honey, and Gwendolyn was even looking a little moved by them.

  She nodded, as if it was more than perfectly reasonable for what Lucifer had said to be true. “He never did like his father,” she murmured.

  She opened her arms, and wrapped Lucifer in an embrace.

  Then she pushed him away, and said, “I would say welcome to the family, but that remains to be seen. However, seeing as you have come dressed for the occasion, I shan’t turn you away from my door. Welcome to the party!”

  She opened the door wider to let him in.

  Percy felt a rush of dismay. She had been hoping her mother would send him away. Lucifer was the last person she wanted in the house tonight, when two murderers were tracking down a guest who was hidden in the house and nobody knew was present.

  If any situation could go wrong because of Lucifer’s mere presence, this was it.

  Her dismay deepened when Lucifer bowed low over her mother’s hand, and kissed it for a much too long a moment, and said, “Enchanté.”

  Percy made a gagging noise. “Stop it, Lucy.”

  “Uncle Lucy to you,” he said.

  “You wish,” she retorted. “If you are going to behave like that with my mum, you might as well get out.”

  However Gwendolyn gave a little giggle and adjusted Lucifer’s slim tie.

  “You naughty man!” she said. “Maybe you really are his brother after all. You certainly have that same rakish charm.”

  But Lucifer was no longer paying Gwendolyn any attention. His eyes had wandered over to the bottom of the stairs, and his mouth had dropped slightly open.

  He took a step past Gwendolyn, and said in dreamy tones, “Percy never said you had a sister.”

  They all turned to look at what he had seen.

  A redheaded woman was standing there, having just descended from upstairs. She was ravishing and looked very much like Gwendolyn Prince, but was several years younger. She had those same green sparkling eyes, but her hair was a darker plum than Gwendolyn’s own fiery red.

  Unlike the confident Gwendolyn, she had a hesitant stance, and was fluttering her eyelashes nervously at Lucifer.

  “You must introduce me, please,” he said, taking a couple of steps towards the woman.

  Gwendolyn looked like she had swallowed a pint of tadpoles. “Yes, of course, but she’s not my sister. A very distant cousin is all. This is Opal… Smith.”

  She had added the last word sneeringly, as if to distance the beautiful Opal from the renowned Prince family name.

  Percy had to bite her lip to keep from giggling. Clearly, when Gwendolyn had given her potion to Juliet, she had not really expected that her acclaimed beauty of a great, great, great granny had been quite this stunning.

  Even worse, Juliet had come dressed as Gwendolyn. She was wearing one of Gwendolyn’s pinkmink stoles and one of Gwendolyn’s spangly cream-colored dresses shot through with gold. It fit like a glove, and she looked better than Gwendolyn ever had in it.

  “Ta da!” said Juliet. “Do you like it Gwennie? I’ve come as you!” There was a hopeful look on her face, like she had expected Gwendolyn would be flattered.

  Her smile faltered when she realized that Gwendolyn was not. Fortunately for Juliet, Lucifer was there to distract her from Gwendolyn’s silent ire.

  “Opal Smith,” breathe
d Lucifer in his honeyed voice, his eyes fixed on her face. “Where have you been all my life?”

  He bent down to kiss the back of her hand, and Percy made a gagging noise.

  “That is the worst line I have ever heard, ever,” she said in disgust. “I’m disappointed in you, Lucy. Never let me hear you say it again.”

  She slipped her arm into his, and tried to tug him away. “Let me introduce you to everyone else,” she said briskly.

  She wanted him as far away from Juliet as possible. She wanted him to forget that he had ever met her. Juliet needed to stay hidden in this house, and Lucifer couldn’t be trusted with a secret like this. His mere presence would probably attract the murderers right to Percy’s doorstep. It was like he was the opposite of Lucky kitten.

  But Lucifer stayed where he was, immovable as a rock, resisting Percy’s sharp tugs. He acted like he had not heard her at all. He was still staring at Opal like he never wanted to let her out of his sight.

  “Exquisite Opal,” he said. “Would you like to dance?”

  5. Frights and Delights

  Percy watched Juliet and Lucifer with dismay.

  Juliet gave a giggle in response to Lucifer’s question. She was completely charmed by him. Her face was now aglow. Or rather, Opal’s face was aglow. She looked like she had a reason for living again.

  She nodded as excitedly as any teenager at her first prom, and let Lucifer lead her into the ballroom in which there were already at least a hundred people. They began to dance near the stage on which the poltergeist band was most enthusiastically playing.

  Percy watched with mixed feelings. She was glad it wasn’t her mum canoodling with Lucifer, but it wasn’t good that he had taken such an interest in Juliet either. Juliet the fugitive. Downright bad in fact.

  Gwendolyn was watching them too. She now looked like she had swallowed an entire pond full of toads. She was not accustomed to being second best to anyone. Even Hollywood star Juliet Jolie’s beauty faded when compared to Gwendolyn’s. In her own skin Juliet was nowhere near the ravishing beauty who had been Opal Prince.

  She looked like she was most definitely regretting her choice of perfect disguise for Juliet.

  “I would say that you have most definitely succeeded in cheering her up,” said Percy, the corners of her lips twitching.

  “I’d never have guessed,” said Gwendolyn acidly.

  “At least now you won’t have to worry about looking after her all evening,” said Percy consolingly. “She would have been such a drag.”

  Gwendolyn muttered something darkly beneath her breath. Then, to her credit, she pasted a smile onto her face and dove straight back into the ballroom to mingle with her guests.

  “Gotta love your mother,” said Shara admiringly.

  “Now that’s what I call a Halloween transformation,” said Felix, still watching Opal.

  “Enough of the ogling,” said Percy.

  “I’m not ogling!”

  “I’m not blaming you. I’d be ogling too if she wasn’t my great, great, great, great granny.”

  He shook his head in disbelief. “I can’t believe that was your granny.”

  “Shall we go and find the food?” said Nan.

  They went into the kitchen, which was strictly off-limits to anybody who was not family tonight. It was a buzz of activity in there, with poltergeists swooping in and out, all carrying great silver trays high aloft their heads.

  Their platters were full of delicious delights. As they passed by the teens, Jeeves called out the names of each delicacy he had prepared, and Percy hurried to snatch some of the choicest items before they disappeared for good into the throng of party goers.

  Jeeves was in his element, ordering the other poltergeists about. Halloween had restored his good mood, and his food was among some of the best he had ever made.

  There were mini Jack-o-Lantern pies with glowing eyes and ghostly laughs, crunchy crab monster-claws, exploding jalapeno poppers, marinated manchego spiders, flaming figs with bacon, skewered quail egg eyeballs, and much more.

  Their many cries of delight at each taste sensation overjoyed Jeeves.

  They all soon discovered their favorites. Percy gorged herself on the assortment of frankensushi. Shara was delighted by the snapping oysters in their shells. Nan claimed the duck pierogis were the most delicious thing she had ever eaten but moaned that every one she had picked had contained a bloodcurdling scream. Felix ate a whole bunch of the fangtastic mini burgers, chomping them quick before they could bite him first. When he got one that squirted beetroot blood, he nearly dropped it in alarm. They all laughed.

  By the time they got to the brownie bat truffles, floating strawberry ghosts enrobed in white chocolate, and spiderweb treacle tarts, they were very full indeed.

  Shara bit into a juicy strawberry ghost and gave a moan of bliss. “Mum would love these,” she said.

  Jeeves promptly packed a tray of them for Shara to take home with her, and threw in some of the other treats too.

  “Mr Jeeves, you are amazing!” said Shara. “It’ll be as good as if mum came herself!” Her glowing admiration sent Jeeves into transports of delight.

  “Stop it, Shara,” said Percy. “Or he’ll be useless for days. Do you want us to starve for the rest of the week?”

  Jeeves fondly patted Percy on the head. “I’d never let you go hungry, my little Persephone Prince.”

  After everyone had filled themselves with as much as they could eat, Percy snatched up several large goblets of fizzing punch that were smoking in a most ominous manner and handed them out.

  “Come on then,” she said. “Off to the party we go. Gotta do the rounds at least once or mum’ll be mad.”

  They stopped at the dining room first, where a bunch of Gwendolyn’s witch friends were enjoying a gossipy catchup. Percy said hello to those she knew. She hurried her friends out as quickly as possible, before any of the witches thrust their wands into Percy’s hands and demanded she test her magic again. This was a ritual they subjected her to every year, and this time she was determined to avoid it.

  The family lounge had been claimed by mainly the werewolves. A thick perfumed smoke was in the air. Percy found Gwendolyn’s good friend Audrey Huxley in there, dancing to reggae with a big bunch of her lady friends.

  “Percy Prince!” Audrey squealed, spreading her arms wide and gathering Percy up into a warm embrace. “Look how you’ve grown!” She planted a bunch of affectionate kisses on Percy’s cheek.

  “Hey Aunt Addy.” Percy hugged her back. This was one of Gwendolyn’s friends who she liked a lot.

  She was not so pleased when Audrey dragged Percy into the middle of her circle of dancing friends and demanded Percy show her some moves.

  The group whooped and hollered and wouldn’t let Percy leave until she had acquiesced, which they celebrated with shouts of, “You go girl!”

  Nan and Shara and Felix did not escape either, and were all pulled into the dance. Felix’s face was very red by the time they managed to escape, and Shara was giggling so uncontrollably that she had slopped her punch onto the ample skirts of her gothic dress.

  They skipped the private lounge because experience told Percy this was where all her mum’s dull political friends gathered. Instead, they went to join the energetic partygoers out on the ballroom dancefloor.

  Shara, who had taken a great gulp of her punch, give a sudden muffled screech and spat out the contents of her mouth. Something dark with many legs scuttled over the side of the goblet, and ran onto Shara’s hand. Shara flung it off with a yelp.

  Percy and Nan burst into peals of laughter.

  “It’s only a spider scuttler,” said Percy. “You can eat them. They’re sweets. See?”

  She carefully picked a squirming jelly worm out of her own goblet.

  “No,” said Shara. “I’m not eating anything like that. No way!”

  Felix looked carefully into the depths of his own goblet. “I can see eyes,” he said. “I think they’re
winking at me.”

  “Blinking bug eyes,” said Percy. “They’re not bad. But not as good as a squirming wormer. Here, you can have mine.”

  She handed it over, and he tentatively put it into his mouth. When he realized it was tasty, he looked so relieved that Percy and Nan burst into laughter again.

  The poltergeist band was playing a very popular Halloween witching song, and the crowd around them was heaving to the rhythm. Even more people packed into the ballroom to join them. Shara was dancing in a loose-limbed careless way, not seeming to mind that she was out of rhythm. Felix and Nan were both swaying minimally.

  Percy bopped along and rose on her tiptoes, craning to see where Lucifer was. She wondered if her mother had magically enlarged the ballroom again. There seemed to be more people here than last year. Hundreds of people surrounded them.

  She saw her mother right in the middle, where she usually was, a drink in her hand, laughing and dancing wildly with about ten people all at once. She swung her way merrily in and out of the throng, showering people with her attention for brief moments that made them ecstatically happy before she passed on.

  Percy’s eyes kept catching on every dark haired man in the room, but none of them was Lucifer. Finally she glimpsed Opal’s vibrant hair, which was glimmering in the candlelight. It was Juliet. She was over in a far corner, still dancing with Lucifer slowly. Their eyes were locked, as if there was no one in the world but the two of them.

  Percy knew that she should be glad that her own mother had not become the center of Lucifer’s attention. The last thing she needed was her former hellfather and her current mortal mother getting involved. And yet, watching Lucifer with Juliet gave Percy a feeling of dread in the pit of her stomach.

  “Do you think Lucy is going to get er… Cousin Opal into trouble?” Percy whispered at Nan.

  “Huh?” said Nan. The music was clearly too loud for her to hear, and Percy didn’t want to shout it, so she just shook her head instead.

  Nan and Shara has been busy watching all of the other guests, and commenting on their favorite costumes.

  Most people had come dressed as different types of eldritch beings than themselves: werewolves caught dramatically in mid-transformation; angelli with ridiculously large wings; draekins with gaudy scales and preposterously enormous crests atop their foreheads; vampires with gruesome foot-long fangs and insultingly greasy hair.