Arm Candy

by T. C. Littles

  The tears that were once gathered in her eyes were now falling freely down her face. She came closer to me. I thought she was gonna try to hug or kiss me to make the situation less tense, but she grabbed the bottle and took a swig.

  “What do you want me to say other than sorry? After all these years of me being loyal and holding you down, that’s all you’ve managed to say to me. Why do you think you deserve something more than that? I’ll say it again, though. I’m sorry,” she brazenly spoke. “You just ran down a list of things you knew you were wrong to take me through, yet you still continued to do them. You’ve always admitted to crushing my heart, and I’ve always taken you back without putting up a fight. Now you want me to fall to my knees and beg for your forgiveness because I fucked someone close to you?” She raised her voice with the last question. I could tell she wasn’t gonna let me play the victim or hold her head in the mud for sleeping with Johnie for as long as I planned.

  “Naw, that’s not what I want you to do, Samira. What I want is for you to skip ya ass into the bathroom, take a shower, and leave me alone to get some peace for at least twenty minutes. You want me to say fuck what you did and move on? Fine. Fuck what you did. I’m over it.”

  I was lying, but it was worth it just to kill the noise. Arguing wasn’t on my agenda for today. She swallowed my bullshit knowing exactly what it was and gave up arguing without saying another word. Maybe today wasn’t gonna be as bad as I thought.

  Once Samira locked herself in the bathroom, I got deep into my smoke session. I couldn’t let time keep ticking by with me sitting still. Still trying to get in touch with Johnie, I sent him another text letting him know we needed to link up quick, fast, and in a hurry on the music tip. I even followed it up by saying there were hella moves we needed to make that could take both of us to the next level. I figured he’d be quicker to touch base with me if there was a promise of advancement in it for him.

  Leaning back in the chair, letting the thick smoke cloud my lungs, I was mentally trying to debate if I’d touch base with Jamila as well. Since she and Samira were best friends, I knew the whole situation had the potential to get messy. I wanted to know where her head was at and if I could manipulate it. Knowing it wasn’t smart to leave a trail of text messages, I had to think of a way to get rid of Samira so I could see what was up.

  I was worried about Rayna the most. She was honestly the only woman I was truly connected to because we shared a child. The damage she’d created in my life proved her resentment toward me. I didn’t know how things between us were gonna end up playing out.

  Samira

  Although I didn’t have any clothes or even a pair of clean panties to put on my ass afterward, the hot water cascading down my body was just what I needed. I’d been begging for relief. I let the tears I was shedding behind my pain over me and King rinse down the drain along with the suds. Once I got out of here, I would have to keep my game face on. I’d barked at him, called his bluff about not forgiving me, and I knew that I’d have to deal with a heap of bullshit within the days to come. Done were the days of me being weak.

  I climbed out of the shower and wrapped a towel around my body tightly. Wiping the steam from the shower off the mirror, I stared at my tired-looking expression, wishing I could glam myself up. In addition to the bruises that hadn’t healed from my fight in the projects, there were circles around my eyes, bags underneath them, and redness inside of them. I looked drained and beaten up from life all together. Grabbing a washcloth, I let it run under the cold water before placing it on my face. If it weren’t for ol’ hot-finger Rayna, I would’ve had makeup to conceal my scars and look of defeat.

  Instead of going back into the main room of the hotel King and I were sharing since we didn’t have a home, I sat on the side of the tub. I knew he needed space. Hell, I did too. Unfortunately, that didn’t matter ’cause I was still about to tag along. I’d do anything to keep avoiding the conversation I needed to have with my parents.

  Since their name was on the house and insurance policy, they would be privy to knowing how the fire started, so I couldn’t expose Rayna. I’d be exposing the problems between me and King, making them dislike him more. When my parents found out what side of town he came from, that he didn’t have a degree or a dollar, and that he stayed in the house all day while I worked, they made sure I understood how disappointed they were in me.

  Somehow, they knew he’d cause me a tremendous amount of pain. Had I only listened . . .

  Sliding on my dirty clothes, I was about to make King take me shopping for new ones no matter what he had planned. That was the very least he could do. From head to toe, I looked unkempt. Without a comb or brush, all I could do was use my fingers to comb through my hair in an attempt to look presentable. All I’d done was waste my time.

  “He might as well get prepared to spring for a trip to the hairdresser as well,” I spat to myself, then walked out of the bathroom with the same amount of attitude I’d walked into it with.

  * * *

  King didn’t want me out on the streets and most certainly on his arm looking like a peasant, so he didn’t put up a fight about taking me shopping. Unlike many of the times we’d torn the mall up with our hands interlocked, today we walked side by side like two strangers. The other thing out of the ordinary was that he was the one treating. Although I couldn’t because my purse had burned up, I was happy not to be running up my charge cards. Thankfully, Rayna couldn’t destroy my cash that was in the bank or the credit I’d been granted with good ol’ Visa.

  Hitting up Macy’s, I got a few outfits, shoes to match, and a couple of bags. It was gonna take a while to replenish my entire wardrobe, but this was a good start until I got a closet of my own. Once I’d spent about $1,000 of his cash, I hit the MAC makeup counter up and stocked up with concealer, eyeshadows, lip glaze, and mascara. His mouth dropped at how much money I kept holding my hand out for. As far as I concerned, this wasn’t nothing but payback for all the racks I’d spent on multiple shopping sprees for his ass. K.P. owed me much more.

  “I think you’ve put a big enough dent in my pockets today, Mira. Besides, I’ve still gotta make those moves,” he spoke with irritation in his voice.

  “Damn, don’t be like that, King. We wouldn’t be here if it weren’t for your baby momma.” I threw the same irritation back at him. “If you wanna be pissed at anybody, be pissed at her. Now, if you don’t mind, let’s go replace my cell phone then swing back by the hotel so I can get dressed and do something a little more decent to my hair. I can’t be looking like a scallywag running errands with you.”

  He huffed and puffed like the Big Bad Wolf but didn’t deny my request. King knew better than to act like this situation was any of my fault.

  Chapter Twenty-six

  Rayna

  The nurse walked me up to her coworker’s office, which was in a completely separate area of the hospital. I could barely hold a casual conversation with the nurse from feeling like two tons of bricks were sitting on my chest. Anxiety had completely taken over. I could hardly breathe. Part of me felt like this was the right thing to do because I needed some assistance to actually become independent from both King and Tiana. The other part of me felt like I should’ve never opened my mouth in the first place. Every step I continued to take was for my li’l man.

  She knocked on the door to the office then entered with me on her heels. The two women greeted each other with warm smiles and brief but meaningful hugs. It was obvious to me they really shared a rapport.

  “Miss Janice, this is my young friend I called up to you about. Rayna, this is my good friend and coworker, Miss Janice,” she pleasantly introduced us.

  “Come on in and have a seat, Rayna,” Miss Janice greeted me, sharing the smile she was giving the nurse.

  “Thank you.” I was hesitant, but still, I sat across from her.

  The two of them shared small talk about things that didn’t concern me while I took in my surroundings. Her office seemed welcom
ing enough. Along with a few plants, there were pictures everywhere of who I assumed was her family. She was in a lot of them. In addition to that, there were several awards lining the wall along with both her master’s and bachelor’s degrees in the study of social work from Spring Arbor University. Janice P. Thompson was her government name.

  Once their mini-conversation was done, the nurse tapped me on the shoulder then left the office. An awkward silence was left behind. After about sixty seconds of Miss Janice typing into the computer whatever was written down in her notebook, she turned and faced me dead on.

  “How are you today, Rayna?”

  “I guess I’m okay,” I answered, fidgeting in my chair.

  “I know it’s a natural reaction for you to feel uncomfortable given the position you’re in.” She relaxed her stance, picking up on my body language immediately. “But I’m not a threat to you at this point. What I mean by that is unless you tell me you have intentions of harming the baby or yourself, I won’t be breathing a word of our conversation to anyone. Besides me signing a confidentiality agreement, I am very close friends with Miss Samantha, and she seems to have a genuine concern for you. Just do me a favor by being honest and straightforward. I can’t help you if you don’t allow me to.”

  “Okay,” I murmured. Gripping the sides of my chair, I took a deep breath, trying to calm down. I’d come too far to go back now.

  “Good. Now, of course you know Miss Samantha told me a little bit about what you mentioned to her, but I need you to give me the detailed version.” She got straight down to the nitty-gritty.

  Miss Janice was cool, but I didn’t bond with her like I’d done the nurse. So I didn’t emotionally break down or show the same signs of distress as I’d done earlier in the nursery. She claimed our conversation was casual, but it felt professional as I talked about me and King, me and Tiana, and the worries I had regarding being a mother to K.J., while she jotted down notes. I wasn’t sure what she was writing, but I kept on talking until I felt like everything was explained thoroughly. I basically asked Miss Janice for help getting a fresh start.

  “You seem like a really nice girl, Rayna. I’m really happy for that, but there’s something important I must share with you before proceeding. We have a bump in the beginning of the road we must get over before I can provide you with any help.”

  I knew her helping me was too good to be true. “Okay, enough stalling, lady. What is it? Why’d you let me pour out my business to you for nothing? That’s the exact bullshit I was talking about.” Disappointment had set in before she even opened her mouth. I couldn’t hold back my mini-meltdown.

  “It’s my job to feel you out, Rayna. I had you talk to me upfront and without the bit of information I’m about to tell you because I didn’t want you sugarcoating anything.” She paused then read from the notebook she’d just been using. “I got an anonymous call from someone naming you to be unstable and unfit to be a mother. They made accusations that your son wouldn’t be safe in your care and a formal investigation should be done before King Wallace Jr. is released from the hospital. If you had known that ahead of time, your whole demeanor would’ve been even more braced than it already was.”

  “Someone what?” My eyes were bucked wide in disbelief. I was shaking mad. That bitch-ass wife of King’s moved hella fast in getting revenge. The only person I thought could’ve done something so wicked was Samira. I didn’t know if this was payback for me setting her house on fire, but I knew she had more than a few reasons to despise me and even my child. “That was probably my baby daddy’s girlfriend being vengeful. She hates me for obvious reasons, of course. I swear on everything I love I’m not a bad person and I won’t be a bad mom to my son. Me being up in your office asking for help oughta help prove my good intentions for both him and myself. You’ve gotta believe me, Miss Janice. That bitter bitch is lying!”

  In spite of me being pissed that she’d withheld telling me about the call, I understood why. This might’ve been a favor to her friend, but this was still her job, and she couldn’t take a chance on bending the rules without feeling me out. The whole harsh reality of everything made me sick. There was no way the State could have my son. I was desperate for Miss Janice to see things my way.

  “I know it may be hard to do, Rayna, but just relax. Like I told you earlier, part of my job is to observe the people I work with in order to draw my own conclusions. From my many years of experience, you don’t strike me as the type of woman who shouldn’t be a mother. Trust me, there’s a lot of cases out here that should make the news.”

  No matter what she was telling me about other people and their cases, I only cared about mine. I was amped and infuriated. I was sure the emotions were written all over my face. “So are ya just gonna forget the phone call?”

  “Well, I can’t go that far, even though I’d like to,” she sighed. “Unfortunately, my hands are tied, and I have to establish a case and investigate the claims made against you before releasing your son into your care. My career will be over if whoever made the complaint follows up and I haven’t followed protocol.”

  I got ready to respond, but Miss Janice threw her hands up to cut me off. “I know that’s not what you want to hear, Rayna, but there’s a bright side to this. I’m not working against you. We’ve established the initial point of contact, and your story sounds legitimate. This very well could be an act of revenge against you like you’ve said. As the one assigned to your case, I’ll be able to close it quicker plus request emergency benefits for the necessities you need. I’ll do my part. You just need to make sure everything checks out on your end.”

  I knew it was a bad idea trusting these motherfuckas. I can’t tell this fuckin’ lady no even though I want to. I swear I can’t win for losing. And if ol’ girl told the cops I was responsible for setting her house on fire, I am really gonna be fucked.

  “Yeah, well, hopefully I’ll get some assistance at the end of all this. ’Cause my need for that is the only reason for me not rising up and beating both your and Miss Samantha’s asses. It don’t matter what you say. I feel like I’ve been bamboozled,” I said, blurting out my raw emotions.

  * * *

  A little over an hour passed of my life that I’d never get back before I was able to leave the hospital. I’d rushed out so fast that I hadn’t stopped to say goodbye to my li’l man. Hell, I didn’t even know if that would’ve been allowed, now that I thought about it. Clutching a manila envelope of paperwork I needed to complete for the case, I looked around for the nearest bus stop so I could get the hell out of dodge.

  Everything within my mind was jumbled up after hearing Miss Janice run down the long list of hoops I’d have to jump through to take K.J. home. That meeting was our first point of contact, but we still had more sessions to go through before this case could be swept underneath the rug. She had to come to my home and investigate it for safety, cleanliness, and other state standards, which now involved Tiana. Although this woman claimed she wouldn’t be hard on me and was ultimately gonna help, I still had to make a good impression.

  All this did was add another thing to Tiana’s list as leverage to bitch at me about. I was dreading telling her she couldn’t smoke within the house or have Deon’s drug-dealing, two-strikes-having ass lying up for the next few weeks. She was gonna be piping mad that my unfortunate drama was pouring over into her life yet again, especially because Samira was the initiator behind all of this.

  A big part of me wanted to call King to tell him all that was unfolding with K.J. and the child welfare case, but we hadn’t exchanged words since he’d rightly accused me of being an arsonist. I didn’t have it in my heart to blame him for not reaching out with all the tension we had brewing between one another. Yet and still, I was frustrated by him not doing so. I loved King. It was hard for me whenever we didn’t talk.

  Right about now, I didn’t know who was in my corner 100 percent. I felt sad, incomplete, and confused. Plopping down on the bus stop bench, I was mentally dra
ined from dealing with life. I needed to get my mind right. I couldn’t wait to get back to the projects for my stash of Kush.

  Chapter Twenty-seven

  King

  Samira tiptoed around the hotel room like she was a princess walking on fairy dust. She’d taken an hour doing her makeup and hair and was now trying on every outfit she’d gotten me to purchase from the mall. I leaned back against the headboard with one leg propped up on the bed, slightly annoyed.

  “Come on, Samira. You’re doing too much. We ain’t doing nothing but running a few errands and going past the studio. You ain’t gotta look like a celebrity. Do me a favor and hurry up.”

  “Don’t rush me, King,” she argued back. “Your little music career won’t be over before I’m done fixing myself up.”

  If looks could kill, Samira would’ve died a thousand deaths at that moment. I couldn’t understand why she wanted to keep playing hardball with her words when she knew I’d get gully with her ass right back. I’d been playing it cool thus far. That nice-nice shit was a wrap!

  “Ay, you might need to stay your ass here and get ya mind right off some of this green. Your crazy ass is bugging if you think you’re about to ride out with me after making comments about my music career being little. That’s some hater shit to say. Ol’ girl and her friends must’ve really gone upside ya head.”

  Swooping my keys off the bed, I leaped up, ready to make good on my word. Samira’s ass was as good as left. She knew I was swallowing a lot already by allowing her in my space in light of her fucking Johnie. So to diss my entire career was definitely off-limits. I didn’t care if my response was a low blow or if my reaction was petty. As far as I was concerned, Samira needed to be checked before things went too far left.