Secrets On the Clock

by Nicole Disney

  “Sit down, Brianna.”

  “Jeez, someone’s a mean drunk.”

  “Why did you lie to Jenna?”

  Brianna’s face got serious for a fleeting second, but her eyes quickly went back out of focus. She was trashed.

  “Who said I lied to Jenna?”

  “She told me what you said. Why did you do that? Why did you have to fuck everything up?”

  “What?” Brianna took on an expression of shock and slumped into the free dining table chair. “I didn’t fuck everything up. We were just talking.”

  “You fucked it all up. You told her I was interested in you.”

  “It’s not my fault you didn’t tell her we dated. How was I supposed to know? I didn’t know you were ashamed of me.” Brianna teared up, and for the first time ever, Danielle didn’t care in even the smallest fraction. Her tears were meaningless, manipulative, and soon to be forgotten.

  “I know I should have told her; that’s not what we’re talking about,” Danielle said. “I’m asking why you told her we’re into each other. We don’t even like each other, Brianna.”

  “We don’t? Well, shit, here I thought we were friends.”

  “Yes, friends! Barely! You think I’m a boring, prissy little prude, and I think you’re a drunk. There’s nothing romantic between us.”

  “Look, we might not have worked out as a couple, but that doesn’t mean I need you parading your new girlfriend around in front of me. Have some respect.”

  Danielle laughed. “You told me to bring her here, you psycho! Did you just want to trick me into doing it so you could sabotage us?”

  Brianna pushed her chair back from the table. “’Kay you’ve called me a drunk and a psycho now. I’m not talking to you while you’re like this.”

  “Like what? Drunk? It’s a pain in the ass, isn’t it, Brianna?” Danielle stood up and got in her way. “Really sucks when people just say whatever pops into their fucking heads with no regard for the consequences, doesn’t it?”

  “Get the fuck out of my face, Danielle!”

  “She asked how you know what I sound like when I come. What the fuck did you say to her? What did you do? How could she even…” Danielle held her hands up, feeling them shake with rage.

  Brianna smirked. “Is that what you two are all twisted about? Jesus, get over it. I was just playing around. You know how I am. She wasn’t supposed to get all riled over it.”

  “I don’t believe you. You knew what you were doing. Upsetting her was exactly what you wanted.”

  Brianna shrugged and tried to pass again, but Danielle was still in the way and Brianna was too tipsy to navigate around the furniture. “Move!”

  “Do you even care that you broke us up? Do you have a conscience at all?”

  “You know what, Danielle, if Jenna was so into you and you guys were so perfect, she’d have heard you out, and she’d have gotten over it. You were dating for two seconds. She could have given you another chance. You want to know the truth? She was out of your league, and she didn’t like you that much. She’s sexy, has a good job, and she’s fun. She was taking shots with me at the bar that night we went out. She didn’t freak out like a giant baby like you did when I threw up; she told you to chill. What does she need with someone like you? She’s like me. It was a matter of time before she got bored with you, just like I did.”

  “Is that what this is all about?” Danielle asked. “You wanted her, and you didn’t get why she wanted me, so you had to ruin it?”

  “Please, I don’t care about either of you.”

  “That’s not how you acted when you talked to Jenna.”

  Brianna’s eyes were pools of confusion, unable to focus. She was clearly no longer following the conversation. Danielle felt like she witnessed the exact moment Brianna lost track of what was going on. She’d have to start completely over to make her way to the point. Danielle finally let her pass. Brianna tripped on the shoes she had taken off seconds before and stumbled onto the couch. She put her head down and resolved to just stay there.

  “Don’t think you can talk to me in the morning just because you sobered up,” Danielle said, and headed for her bedroom.

  “Huh?” Brianna’s head shot off the couch as if she’d just woken up. “Danielle?”

  Danielle shook her head and flexed her muscles with frustration. Brianna would be completely confused by Danielle’s refusal to speak with her by morning. She could say anything she wanted, and it would be forgotten. Part of her wanted to abuse that fact, but the other part felt completely powerless because of it.

  “Danielle!” Brianna said. “Help me get to bed. I can’t walk.”

  “Fuck you.”

  Chapter Twenty-nine

  Jenna insisted on driving home at seven in the morning when Sasha got up to go to work, but everything ached with heaviness. When she got home, she went directly to her bed and flopped down again. She’d barely closed her eyes when her reminder to give her mom her medication dinged on her phone. She opened up a text to Callie and asked her to do it, but thirty seconds from the time it showed she’d read the message, Callie was barging into her room.

  “When did you get home?”

  Jenna groaned and rolled over. “Just now.”

  “You stay out all night ignoring everything here and you want me to do you favors?”

  Jenna put the pillow over her head. “Not today, Callie.”

  “Do you even care about us anymore? Don’t you care if Mom gets her medication?”

  “Yes, that’s why I asked you. Some people might even call it you doing your share, you know? Not a favor.”

  “What is going on with you, Jenna? You’re not acting like yourself anymore. Ever since you met that girl.”

  Jenna scoffed and pulled the pillow tighter over her head. “Seriously, not right now.”

  Callie sat on the edge of her bed. She yanked the pillow away. Jenna slapped the bed and sat up.

  “What?”

  Callie recoiled from the harshness, surprise filling her face and stopping her in her tracks.

  “Are you okay?”

  “No, Callie. I’m really not.”

  “Do you need…” Callie paused as if she’d never offered help in her life, as if she had no idea how to end the sentence. “Something?”

  “I need you to give Mom her meds.”

  “But she doesn’t listen to me, Jenna. I can’t talk her into it like you can.”

  “Fine.” Jenna flung the covers aside and stood up.

  “Jenna—”

  “I’m doing it.”

  “Jenna, wait, what happened? What’s going on?” Callie grabbed her arm, spinning her back around.

  “Nothing is going on. I don’t feel well. I just want to go to bed.”

  “Bullshit. You’ve been acting weird for weeks. You’re always out with that Danielle. You don’t take care of anything around here anymore. You’ve barely even noticed Mom losing control. If Danielle is telling you—”

  “Do you want me to hang out somewhere else so you don’t have to see people or do you want me to be here, Callie? You can’t have both. You can’t force me not to have friends. And Danielle isn’t telling me anything. We broke up. I know you’re thrilled.”

  “Oh,” Callie said. “I’m sorry.”

  Jenna shook her head. “No, you’re not.”

  “I’m sorry it’s hurting you,” Callie said. “You can do better, though, Jenna.”

  “You didn’t even know her.”

  “No, but she kept you away. She didn’t understand our situation here, or she wouldn’t have done that.”

  Jenna paused. Callie was both completely wrong and a little right. Danielle hadn’t kept her away from home, not any more than any girlfriend would, but she did feel like Danielle didn’t completely understand her family situation.

  “Did it ever occur to you that maybe I would have been home more if you’d been more welcoming to her?” Jenna asked. “If you’d let her get to know and understa
nd us and be in our home without being attacked?”

  “So, it’s my fault? Is that why you’re being so shitty to me? I’m sorry, Jenna. I’m sorry I was a bitch that night you brought her over, and I’m sorry you two broke up.”

  “I—” Jenna felt blindsided by the apology. “Thanks.”

  “So, what happened?”

  Jenna shook her head. “It’s a long story.”

  “You’ll find someone else,” Callie said. “Someone better.”

  Jenna laughed lightly. “It’s not that simple, Cal. Connection doesn’t just happen every day.”

  Callie shrugged. “You’ll still find it. You’re amazing. You could have anyone.”

  Jenna’s heart felt heavy. She couldn’t imagine doing better than Danielle, and even if she theoretically could, she still wouldn’t be able to just brush Danielle off as casually as Callie wanted to. She couldn’t even picture someone better. Danielle was perfect. Kind, smart, motivated, deep, gorgeous. Their connection had been so easy, so instant. But she had to be able to trust her. She refused to be an insecure, jealous lover, and she didn’t think she could be otherwise with Danielle right now. The whole time she thought they were effortlessly sharing all of themselves, Danielle was holding back. She was only now realizing how much she didn’t know about Danielle. Maybe she’d been falling in love alone.

  * * *

  Danielle made her way to Mr. Borden’s office. It was a few doors down and across the hall from Jenna’s. She’d seen it, and Mr. Borden, in passing, but the email she received that directed her there this morning had perplexed her. She knocked on the half-open door as she stuck her head through the opening.

  “Danielle, come on in,” Mr. Borden said. Danielle tentatively entered and sat down. Mr. Borden had a lumpy appearance. He had a fat neck, and his hair was the plainest of browns. He wore a button-down checkered shirt that was one size too small and would be hard-pressed to sell as business casual, let alone formal. Combined with the set of golf clubs in the corner, Danielle doubted Mr. Borden did much work. Danielle cringed at the moisture on his palm as she shook his hand.

  “Call me Chuck.”

  “Sure,” Danielle said. “Chuck.”

  “I called you in here just to touch base, get to know each other a little. I like to have a little face time with all my crew members.”

  Danielle knew she was doing little to cover her dread and horror. “Your crew? I’m sorry, are you saying I’m on your team now?”

  “Yep,” Chuck said. “Welcome.”

  “I was on Jenna’s team,” Danielle said. “She didn’t quit, did she? Or…”

  “Oh no,” Chuck said. “She’s still here. We just had to rearrange things. I’m sure you understand.” Chuck seemed like a nice enough guy. He somehow managed not to be offensive when he tilted his head at her, communicating that they both knew exactly why Danielle couldn’t be on Jenna’s team anymore.

  “Do I get to talk to anyone about this?”

  “You get to talk to me.” Chuck bent his wrists so that both of his hands showcased his face as he beamed at her. Danielle got the impression that his caricature style gestures were his go-to attempt at humor. “I’m not so bad. I promise.”

  “No, it isn’t that,” Danielle said. “I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to be rude. It’s just that Jenna and I were working really well together, and I don’t think we necessarily need to be rearranged. We’re both professionals.”

  “I’m sure you are.”

  “Did she ask for me to be moved?”

  “I don’t have or need many details,” Chuck said. “But the impression I got was that it is non-negotiable. You could maybe try to get put on a different team, but not hers.”

  “No,” Danielle sighed. “I wouldn’t do that. It isn’t you.”

  “Great! Well, I just want you to know as far as I’m concerned, we’re starting with a clean slate here. None of your coaching notes with Jenna will be carried over, and the issue between you and Jenna is a matter that’s being handled over my head, but I was led to believe it will have no further impact on you.”

  “Her notes on me aren’t being carried over? The warning I received for the whole dead body thing?”

  “Nope. All thrown out.”

  “Why?”

  “Well, she’s not exactly a credible source on you anymore.”

  “But…” Danielle paused, perplexed. “But her disciplining me is proof that she was a credible source, if anything, isn’t it?”

  Chuck grimaced. “We’re on some testy ground. I can’t really go into details on the decisions surrounding Jenna.”

  “I guess I don’t understand why not. I was an involved party. Shouldn’t I give a statement or something?”

  Chuck shrugged. “Over my head. I know that’s not a very satisfying answer, but if I could give you some advice, it would be to let it go. The higher-ups would like to sweep it under the rug, and it benefits you to let them. They’re very happy with your work outside of this.”

  Danielle finally sat down, deflated.

  “I was familiarizing myself with your cases,” Chuck said. “I see you have a visit with the Clarks scheduled today. I was hoping you could update—”

  “What?”

  Chuck looked up, showing his first signs of annoyance. “The Clarks. You have a visit today?”

  “I don’t. Jenna does.”

  Chuck slipped on a pair of reading glasses that looked ridiculously small on his large, round face and looked at his computer screen again. “Nope, I’m showing it’s your case.”

  “That’s a mistake. Jenna has been working that case for years. I was just training with her on it.”

  “Supervisors don’t have cases, Danielle. She was assigned to it in a training capacity, but you’ve been released from training. It’s your case.”

  “She’ll need to supervise the visit,” Danielle said.

  “If you need a supervisor to accompany you for some reason, it would be me now. Why do you need a supervisor?”

  “What? No, I don’t need a supervisor. Jenna is the only one those boys will talk to. They’ll chew me up and spit me out if I show up there without her.”

  “I understand it will be a transition,” Chuck said. “But it’s time to make it. Jenna is not permitted to accompany you on visits or supervise you in any fashion. She is to have nothing more to do with the Clarks. I could see about reassigning it to another caseworker if you have some kind of unresolvable issue with the boys, but—”

  “No,” Danielle said. “No, don’t do that. That would be even worse.”

  “All right, then,” Chuck said. “It’s settled. As I was saying, if you could give me an update when you get back.”

  Danielle stood, knowing she was again failing to carry herself professionally or even with plain old kindness. She was interrupting and disrespecting her new supervisor, and she couldn’t seem to stop. She could be in much deeper trouble for her hidden relationship with Jenna, and instead of gratitude or relief, all she could feel was anger and resentment. Even as she thought it through she couldn’t muster up the ability to thank him and leave with grace. She just huffed out of the office.

  Once in the hallway, she couldn’t help but stare at Jenna’s door. It was half open too, the way it usually was when she was inside working. She glanced back at Chuck’s door, then rushed into Jenna’s office. Jenna looked up abruptly, confused. There were papers on the floor behind her like they’d been thrown. Danielle saw the picture of Deon among them.

  “Jenna, I’m so sorry. I told them it should be your case. I tried.”

  Jenna leaned back in her chair. “You shouldn’t be here. You’ll get in trouble.”

  “I’ll tell them it wasn’t your choice. I’ll make sure they know you wanted to be there.”

  Jenna nodded slowly. She looked exhausted, not sleepy, just worn out.

  “Thanks.”

  Danielle heard voices coming down the hall and looked at Jenna, paralyzed. Jenna stood up and
passed her. Her shoulder brushed Danielle’s gently, and her smell circled Danielle and made her knees feel weak. Her closeness felt so right. She just wanted to pull her into her arms. Jenna glanced into the hall and turned back.

  “Safe.”

  Danielle nodded, staring into her. Forgive me, Jenna. Please. Her mouth was dry, and she couldn’t make the words come out.

  “I’ll take good care of them,” Danielle said. “I promise.” She walked into the hallway and away from Jenna’s office at the fastest pace she could pass as normal.

  Chapter Thirty

  Danielle sat in the Clarks’ apartment parking lot trying to figure out what she was going to say to the family. She’d been observing their visits for weeks, but she’d barely said a word. It hadn’t bothered her at the time, but she realized now Jenna had made almost no effort to pass the case to her. She never wanted to do it. And now the boys weren’t ready for her to be in charge any more than she was. More than that, she was afraid of what she might find inside. The decisions were hers now, and her first instincts had almost never been the same as Jenna’s.

  Her argument with Jenna had shaken her. She had always been confident in her reasoning, in her judgment, but Jenna attacked hers. She hadn’t been impressed with Danielle’s brand of logic, and she’d made some points that made Danielle doubt everything. But she couldn’t do her job with doubt. She had to be able to make decisions and own them, or the job would drive her crazy. She had to make choices she could live with, but she also desperately wanted to honor Jenna’s wishes.

  She took a deep breath and got out of the car. Step one. She made her way to the apartment door. Step two. But she couldn’t seem to make it to step three. She had to knock. She had to really do it. Finally, she tapped, part of her hoping they wouldn’t answer.

  No such luck. Ladona flung the door open. Her hair was wild, and Danielle felt a twinge of nervousness as she tried to weigh if that meant Ladona was having one of her volatile days. Her face filled with confusion.

  “Who are you?”