Cactus of Mystery

by Ross Heaven

  So, following from this, what are your thoughts regarding individuals in places like Europe, the States, Australia, et cetera, who are brewing and drinking San Pedro on their own, in their own homes, perhaps because they have no shaman to refer to? You often read accounts (on Erowid, etc.) of such experiments with teacher plants. Do you recommend it? What advice would you give?

  La Gringa: Rubén always says that if we are drawn to work with sacred plants we should learn to work with the plant of the country in which we live. He says that each country has its own sacred plant, meant for the vibration of that country. I have to agree with that because when I have used the San Pedros grown in another country I have found them to be very different to those grown here. It’s all about vibration. Peru holds very high vibration—not all countries do. Therefore, the San Pedro is vastly different. When I drink any medicine I obviously prefer that which has the best vibration.

  Sadly, I never got to experience any of the sacred plants in South Africa because when I was living there I was not aware of them. Now if I ever moved to live in another country I would certainly investigate, study, and learn to work with its plants.

  My advice to people who are preparing San Pedro in other countries would be this: if you haven’t drunk sacred plants, whether San Pedro or ayahausca, don’t do it on your own—make sure you have someone with you who has a lot of experience with it. As it should be with anything in life, these plants should be totally respected. They can knock you down, they can lift you up, many things can happen.

  Personally, I am very grateful to Rubén for his teaching and guidance in using these plants. Before my training, I once prepared San Pedro for myself and some friends, not aware then of the effects of the different [numbers of] ribs, et cetera. It was a horrible, dark, and frightening experience for all of us. When I asked Rubén about it he said that I should crawl before I walk, that there was much I had to learn before I presume to just prepare it and drink. Mostly the medicine is light and love, but there are exceptions and it takes patience, respect, and permission to use the plant in a positive way.

  I’ve asked this question of Rubén too: San Pedro is less well known than ayahuasca. Why do you think this is and do you think the situation will change? When? Why? How?

  La Gringa: San Pedro was forbidden in the times of the Spanish conquest by the Catholic religion because when people drank this medicine it made them feel as if they were in paradise—in heaven—and heaven or hell existed within the Catholic religion as an afterlife, not here in this life. So the cactus was considered diabolical.

  It was as a result of the Spanish that the name changed from wachuma to Saint Peter (San Pedro), as it is he who holds the keys to heaven. It was, therefore, forbidden to drink this sacred plant or even to talk about it. The punishment was death. Still today there are many local Catholic people who believe that because when they try San Pedro it makes them feel like they are in paradise that it must be a lie and evil. So the Catholics banned all use of it and even now many people still believe it is diabolical.

  Wachuma is also possibly less known because with ayahausca the visuals are spectacular! After my first aya experience I, too, was incredulous and I am eternally grateful for the healings, teachings, and the gifts she gave me. Of course, aya can be life changing and my first drink was! Since then, 1993, aya has not been the same to me. But my lesson there is maybe to stop trying to recreate an experience, just have gratitude and move on.

  Aya seems to be more of a “hook” to people, and many think that the more times they drink the more “notches” it puts on their belt. But it’s not how many times you drink, whether it’s aya or San Pedro; it’s how much you integrate the lessons into your life. It’s about becoming stronger, wiser, and living with peace, love, respect, and gratitude. It’s putting wisdom into action daily. What’s the point of drinking any sacred plant if we don’t integrate it into our lives?

  San Pedro is maybe less known as well because it is more passive and down-to-earth than ayahuasca. It teaches us how to live in this world, in balance and harmony. This is the world we are living in now so let’s learn how to live here properly.

  Maybe this [the “hidden” nature of San Pedro] is exactly the way it should be anyway, although I do wish that this medicine could reach those everywhere who really need it. I expect miracles from San Pedro and I see them in different ways each day. To me, San Pedro knows he is part of God and by drinking it we have the opportunity to experience God inside of us, too. Once you have had that experience you will never forget it!

  Can San Pedro ever be used for bad? In ceremonies for example could it be used for sorcery? Do you know of any sorcerers who are doing this?

  La Gringa: Rubén told me that when he went to learn from his teacher about San Pedro there was a long line of houses all belonging to wachumeros and his teacher’s was the house at the end. His teacher was the only one in that street who was working with the plant for the light, the rest were all working with dark energies!

  I believe that within everything there is light and dark. Whether it is medicine, food, accounting, law, there are always those who will use it for good or for bad, light or darkness. Yes there is dark magic but personally I haven’t known anyone who has used San Pedro for darkness. How could they when this plant is pure light?

  Author’s note: Extracts from part 1 of this interview have appeared in articles I have written for The Journal of Shamanic Practice (U.S.) Winter 2009 issue, Kindred Spirit (U.K.) March/April 2009 issue, and the now-defunct Shaman’s Drum. For information on how to retrieve these articles visit www.shamansociety.org, www.kindredspirit.co.uk, and www.shamansdrum.org.

  4

  Working Practically with San Pedro

  Michael Simonato

  I met Michael Simonato in 2010 when I was on a “San Pedro honeymoon” with my new wife; we had decided to drink wachuma with a number of different shamans and to see some of Peru. Since then, Michael and his wife, Maggie, have become good friends of ours and have also visited us in Spain.

  Michael is a gentle soul and like many San Pedro shamans, he is quiet, unassuming, and caring. His medicine was strong and for most of the day my wife and I simply lay in his garden overlooked by magnificent mountains and cradled by the sky while Michael played the flute or puttered among the plants and flowers. We didn’t talk all that much but we knew we’d met a fellow soul.

  Michael is not Peruvian and I am always intrigued when people from outside a culture find their answers and their calling in a shamanic practice that is not indigenously their own. What calls them, what draws them to a particular teacher plant, why this medicine instead of another?

  These are some of the questions I put to Michael. In the article that follows he answers them for us and tells us about his work with San Pedro, offering practical advice as well for those who would like to explore this plant for themselves.

  BREAKDOWN

  My heartbeat racing and neck muscles contracting, an invisible belt around my chest tightening, my breath diminishing to a rapid shallow breathing . . . Paranoia, suffocating. I am dying slowly, drowning in dread. Voices and sounds around me getting more distanced, disappearing, my mind dissolving into a dark space. Only the sound of my pounding heart remains. My peripheral vision blurs, hyperfocusing on a spot trying to hold on to the last anchor of reality.

  I was twenty-three at that time and working at a local newspaper as a graphic designer. I was sitting by my computer working on an advertisement when it hit me. What I experienced was a panic attack, the first of many to follow. It felt like it lasted forever. I was terrified and I knew that this was just the beginning of a dark ride into the shadow landscapes of my soul.

  What I didn’t know was that I had also stepped over the threshold into a new world, my awakening. The panic attacks continued and made me socially crippled. I couldn’t be in crowded places, stores, cinemas, buses, and my world continued to shrink until I was unable to leave my apartment. I was imprisoned in a
world of terror.

  Who was I before this occurred? In my eyes I was a handsome and confident young man. I was Superman. Practicing hard martial arts, pumping muscles, and feeling content with a fit, strong body. I enjoyed the sense of power and thrill in a full-contact fight. After my military service in an elite unit, I had joined the National Guard where I was a part of a small group of adventurous young men who trained in guerrilla warfare. I was always searching for new thrills and if I had continued on that path I would probably have ended up as a mercenary somewhere.

  All of that confidence went out of the window with my first panic attack, and I couldn’t function anymore. As the attacks got worse my mind started to change. It was like new dimensions were added to the reality I used to know.

  The nights became a parallel reality. I had nightly visits by aliens performing surgeries or some kind of research on me. I thought that was it—I had lost all sense and would become permanently insane.

  I had spontaneous out-of-body experiences and lucid dreams, so clear that when I went to sleep I woke up on the other side somewhere in a mountain landscape where I was met by an indigenous man. He took me to his little house where we sat in front of his fireplace sharing moments of silence. He told me stories while we were staring into the fire and gave me an amulet after each visit, a gift to bring back.

  Both of my realities merged and there was a time when I couldn’t define what was happening in dreams or in an awakened state. I wasn’t even sure if I was still alive or if I had died and passed on from the physical realm. My perception of reality continued to drastically change. Even outside of my intense, vivid dreams I started to see spirits and energies. I could see auras around objects and people and I could feel other people’s physical and emotional pain.

  What I understand today is that I had a spontaneous awakening. The rise of an inner fire must have triggered my pineal gland to release a large amount of DMT, which opened the gates of perception into other dimensions.

  RECOVERY

  I knew I had to look for help but I didn’t know where to begin. I went to see a psychiatrist whose only solution was to put me on antidepressants. I accepted this temporary solution while I started to search for a better aid. At one point while browsing the shelves in a bookshop a book fell into my hands: The Way of the Shaman by Michael Harner. That book made sense and felt familiar to me.

  My next purchase was a tape by the same author with recorded shamanic drum journeys. Later I found my own drum, which became my vehicle for many interesting inner journeys. It was easy for me to enter a trance state and journey with the drum, almost as if I had done it before.

  The next book that came to me was The Way of the Peaceful Warrior by Dan Millman. This also made sense and I realized that I could use what I had learned from my background in martial arts to heal myself, using my determination and aggression to stay within my center when all mental and emotional hell broke loose.

  Coming from that background it was a natural transition into meditation and Eastern philosophies. I had a great mentor and friend who was a master in soft martial arts, and the greatest lesson he taught me was that whatever you practice you become. He also taught me that my enemy is actually my friend who can show me my weaknesses by giving pain to my most unprotected spots. This presents great opportunities for us to learn.

  I thought that the hard martial arts would free me from my anger and dread but they actually increased it and made my life worse. My mentor taught me instead that power comes from inner silence, not from an upset mind. Another great lesson was that when you fall apart let yourself fall; go into it without resistance and use the energy from that fall so you redirect it to your advantage. Everything is just energy and can be used constructively if we learn how to manage it. So that was the end of my path of fistfighting and the beginning of learning how to surf on the waves in the oceans of energy.

  I found a good Chinese qigong teacher who encouraged me to practice for many hours every day. After three months of qigong training I was able to get off the antidepressants. I was still having lighter panic attacks occasionally but now I was able to deal with it. My mind became clearer and I became more grounded again.

  I wanted to learn as much as possible and qigong practice took me to energetic healing and Taoist inner alchemy. I also studied traditional Chinese medicine. By the following year I had become a qigong instructor myself and studied various forms of healing bodywork. I realized that I had been cured from the panic attacks when I found myself comfortably standing in front of groups of up to fifty people and actually enjoying it. I met other teachers along the way in perfect synchronicity, and each of them helped me a lot by pointing me in the direction I had to go.

  While studying massage and healing I met my next teacher, who was a Hawaiian healer. I went to Hawaii to learn more about their esoteric teachings and ancient healing methods. I was eager to meet a great kahuna to show me some secrets, and asked my teacher to introduce me to some. The only answer I got was a big laugh and, “Michael, the only kahuna you ever need to find is within your heart.” She taught me to not look for God in spiritual teachers or temples but to just be with nature and listen as God speaks through that creation.

  Well, we have all heard that before, that “we have all the wisdom we need deep inside our hearts,” but what I wanted to know was how to get there, to find my inner teacher. However, it was a good reminder that a teacher is just a person who is more experienced within a specific area, but they are all still human with the same baggage as the rest of us. So I went deeper inside with the tools I had. One of the more useful techniques was meditation, especially ten-day vipassana retreats. However, I still felt there was something missing and I continued searching for the lost piece. Like so many other seekers I traveled around the world to far-distant places to find myself.

  MY INTRODUCTION TO PLANT MEDICINE

  I found that missing piece when I first visited Peru. I had lived in Southeast Asia for almost ten years, first traveling and later working in the hotel industry as a manager for a group of luxury spas. At one point, when it was time for my vacation, I decided to visit a place I had never been to before. Machu Picchu was one of those places so I booked my ticket to Peru. Browsing the Internet for other things to do there I came across websites about plant medicines and shamanism, so I decided to attend an ayahuasca workshop in the Sacred Valley.

  My first ayahuasca journeys totally blew my mind. I visited the darkest and most celestial realms within, which I could have never been prepared for. My mind, the room, and the world completely dissolved and I felt as though I died over and over again. But there was something more to it; it felt like I had been there before, that there was something in that state of consciousness that was familiar to me.

  At the same time as I feared going into the experiences I was intrigued to go even further and learn more. I was also introduced to wachuma and the first time I drank it, it really put me on my path. I had found the missing piece I was looking for. Finally I had a way to unlock the doors into my soul and learn through direct experience without having to buy into any belief systems or concepts, just drink the medicine.

  I continued to drink ayahuasca and wachuma with different medicine people in the Amazon jungle and the Andean mountains. I am eternally grateful to my teachers for holding a safe space for me to heal and learn from the medicine. I dieted on microdoses of wachuma for several months at a time and started to take full doses by myself when I felt that I had established a good relationship with the plant.

  My Peru visit became all about exploring the plants. I felt compelled to buy a ticket back to Peru even before I left. My life was changed and things began to unfold in a positive way. I became a freelance consultant and decided to work as little as possible to have more time to spend in Peru. I finally decided to make Peru my new home.

  What I am sharing below is based on my subjective firsthand experiences in my relationship with the plants. Just to clarify, I do not claim to
have any “scientific proof” to support my observations. To study sacred plant medicine is to me an exploration entirely based on direct experience. I encourage everyone to do the same: to establish a relationship with the plants with an open mind and a humble heart and ask them to reveal their healing benefits and wisdom.

  My connection with wachuma deepens with each journey and there seem to be no limitations for how much more there is to learn. I have stopped counting how many times I have been with wachuma so far, since this is now an integrated part of my life. I am very comfortable with wachuma, even when I drink up to ten days in a row. I have also pushed the limits by taking up to five times the normal dose so I have a better understanding of how people feel in a deep, difficult journey. So far the plant has never given me more challenges than I can cope with.

  I used to be lactose intolerant and extremely allergic to cats, which I could never find a remedy for. I also had bronchitis that would come on a regular basis. But somewhere along the wachuma path the allergies and bronchitis disappeared. I truly believe that other latent diseases have been and are constantly being prevented or wiped out by the medicine. I easily gained weight in the past and I don’t anymore. It seems like the plant restores the protein metabolism and brings back the body to its natural shape, eliminating edema and excess body weight. I also used to be introverted but today I feel more sociable and I have a more positive and calmer mind than ever before. Of course there is still more to deal with but I am working on it. I know that wachuma is patient with my progress.